Work Text:
1. Gross Love
"Good news, everybody!" announced Professor Farnsworth.
Silence.
"I said good news, everybody!"
"We heard you, Professor," Leela explained, "We're just too jaded by past experience to believe you actually have good news."
"Yeah," added Fry, "Whenever you say you have good news it usually means we're about to be injured or eaten. Or injured then eaten."
"You'll be making a delivery to the planet Slimeboggle 7. A horrible planet filled with filthy slimy disgusting smelly monster-like bug creatures. Be careful, they've developed a taste for human flesh."
The crew doctor perked up his head-like appendage.
"Finally, a love story for Zoidberg!"
2. Bromantic Love
"Did you really mean what you said about feeling sad that you don't have emotions?" asked Fry.
"What? No way! I was pulling your leg, meatbag! Emotions are for suckers!" barked Bender with bravado.
"Oh, good. I'd hate for you to be sad. Wait. Are you crying, Bender?"
"No! I'm leaking oil from both my eyes sockets... Oh, how I want to experience feelings! Just one emotion! Damn this metal heart incapable of love!"
Bender pulled the metal heart from his chest and glared at it furiously.
Leela watched the man and robot collapse, sobbing, into each other's arms.
"Idiots."
3. Dangerous Love
Leela gazed at the harsh and beautiful terrain.
"Now be careful, every plant and animal on this planet is extremely poisonous and hostile," she warned Fry.
"Look, a butterfly. It's not flying away! It's letting me pet it. Hey, it bit me. I can't brea..."
Leela watched him fall to the ground. She gave him a shot of anti-venom.
"Fry? Next time, listen to me."
Fry said he was sorry and kissed her cheek.
I promise I'll pay better attention from now on. I'm going to pick you a bouquet of flowers!"
Leela sighed and pulled out her anti-venom hypo.