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"There are a lot of things that I kept for myself for so long that I wanted to tell you, but then I realized that the only and truly thing that never got out of my mouth because of fear that I will lose you is that I love you. I love you, Clarke. The rest, the rest doesn’t really matter right now because I have you. And I know that I'm probably so selfish by saying this after I left you six years on your own, I’m so sorry for that. I don't think I’m ever going to forgive myself for it. I’m sorry that I hurt you and that you had to go through all that alone."
He stopped for a few moments staring at his hands. " This time apart from you…….. was hell for me, because only then I realized what I was missing…….. I was missing a part of myself; it was a part of my heart, because that part stayed with yours all along. I was never compete without you, Clarke; I need you in my life, because without you......I’m just a lost guy that makes poor choices; without you, I’m never going to be that person that I’ve always wanted to become some day; and it’s because of you, that all this time, while you were sending me those massages, I kept going;……. those words kept me sane for six years. The best part of my day was hearing your voice, even if it was just for a few moments.
She approached and sat near him on the side of the bed, cupped his hands into hers and looked into his dark brown eyes.
„It was hard for me to keep speaking to you and not knowing if you heard me at all, if you were….if you still were…“ She looked down. „Hey, it’s okay“. He removed one hand from hers and reached her cheek with his palm, stroking her hair behind her ear. "I'm here now.“ He smirked. "And you're going to be stuck with me for a very long time Princess, because there is literally now way in a million years that I’m going to leave you again.“
She smiled as a tear dropped down her face until he brushed it away with his thumb.
"God, I love you much and even if you don’t want me like that, it’s okay, it really is; you don't have to say anything“. He reassured her. " I probably deserve it too, but Clarke, no matter what happens, no matter where your heart is going to lead you, I’m going to be here, right by your side and I'm going to remind you that I love you every single day because you have to know that you deserve to be adored, loved, respected and treated the right way.“ He paused as he held his breath.
It was the first time in a very long time that her eyes glowed full of joy, love and need, need for him, need to be with the one person that made her feel like that, made her feel like she was worth loving. He was her best friend, co-leader, he was her anchor and was the only one she trusted with her own life. She couldn't imagine any other person she wanted to spent her life with and that person was there, right in front of her, holding her hands as he watched her like nobody else ever did before.
„Bell“. She stopped as she realized that she wanted to say those words for so long.
„I love you too. God, I loved you for as long as I can remember. It never mattered if we were together or not, I just, I always had to make you were safe and protected. It's like this part of myself that has to be reassured by your presence that we're going to be okay and it always makes things better, you know? But then, there's the part where you're not around and...things get...hard." She stops for a moment and breathes deeply. "When you're not there I get this, this ache in my chest that never seems to go away and get this lonely feeling of not being able to hear your voice or-„
He interrupted her with his lips pressing against hers. Her body froze the first moment but then she responded with need, put her hands in his hair and deepened the kiss by closing the gap between their bodies. After what it felt like hours, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in his lap.
They stayed like that, looking in each others eyes, surrounded by each other's presence and realized that both of them have never been this happy in a very long time.