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- Well – Jongin sighed happily, carrying their bags inside the house – We’re here, finally.
This was Jongin’s idea; he pestered Sehun for days, asking him to go to the beach for a weekend, a romantic getaway kind of thing, and eventually Sehun agreed. The idea was to rent an apartment, but when Baekhyun, ever the supportive friend, offered his grandparents’ beach house as soon as he heard of the idea. “Some alone time might be good for you both”, he said, winking at the boys and making Jongin laugh awkwardly, ears suddenly bright red.
He closed the door behind him and examined the house while Jongin rummaged inside – it was small, but cozy and comfy; the furniture was neat and elegant, with soft cushions on the couch and crochet tablecloths under the old tube television. A counter divided the space between living room and kitchen, decorated with two small plant pots. Something about the place made it obvious that it was owned by older people, and Sehun was okay with that. It made him feel welcome.
He followed Jongin inside the house, going through a corridor, inspecting the framings with family pictures on the walls. Baekhyun was in some of them, posing with his grandparents and looking like a Good Boy, even though Sehun knew he was really far from being one. He made a mental note to take a picture on his cellphone to mock him when they went back to Seoul.
In the bedroom, Jongin was already unpacking a few things and arranging them inside the closet that took over one of the walls; the other had a big venetian shutter window, and he decided to open it to let the sun in. The warmness invaded the place, and gentle breeze followed, making the diaphanous material of the curtains dance quietly.
Sehun sat on the edge of the bed, observing now the other boy pick an extra pilow inside the closet. When the bags were properly stored in the closet, Jongin closed its doors and sat next to Sehun.
- So. – he said, fingers making small patterns on the back of Sehun’s hand.
- So. – the younger responded awkwardly, staring intently at his own shoes. The sound of the waves crashing in the beach nearby was the only thing being heard, constant and reassuring.
It was the first time they were totally alone together, being able to do whatever they wanted to, and it was awkward in a good way, Sehun thought, but awkward nonetheless. Knowing that, Jongin ushered to break the ice.
- What do you wanna do? I know we woke up early so you might wanna get some sleep, but I think it’s better if we enjoy our day at the beach, go eat something and then get some sleep, what do you think?
- I agree. We should get going then – Sehun said, causing Jongin to flash a bright smile at him before planting a soft kiss on his cheek.
They quickly changed into swimming trunks and rushed to the beach.
=
When they headed back to the house, the sun was starting to set in the horizon, faint surges of orange and pink starting to tinge the sky. They walked back with no rush, holding hands while Sehun thought how Jongin was the most beautiful at this time of the day, skin glowing more than ever in the golden hour.
They spent the day swimming and feeling the sea waves crashing on their backs, skin tanning under the pleasant spring sun as they walked along the shore, with Jongin concentrated in the task of collecting different seashells from the wet sand. He kissed Sehun’s thin, salty lips when it was just the two of them at the beach, hand wandering to the younger boy’s hipbone, feeling how skin stretched there, a gesture that Sehun’s body had memorized by now.
After eating the traditional fish & chips (Sehun insisted on paying) at a small restaurant on the pier, legs touching under the table while they talked about everything and nothing, Sehun and Jongin made their short walk to the beach house.
- Ok – Jongin said, entangling his sockless feet on Sehun’s socked ones. They were snuggling in the bed-couch of the living room, an old VHS of Home Alone playing in the background. It’s a relaxed setting, the only light being the blue-ish one coming from the TV. They should probably sleep on the bedroom, but neither mind moving, too busy with the lazy kissing. – Tell me your earliest childhood memory.
- Why? – Sehun, ever the challenging one, inquires. Jongin rolls his eyes.
- Just do it. I want to know you better, alright? And then I’ll tell you mine.
Sehun hums in agreement.
- Let me think then. I don’t think I know which one is my earliest memory.
- Just tell me something that you think is pretty early. – Jongin softly suggests, nosing his best friend’s neck as he furrows his brows trying to pinpoint a moment. His lips briefly touch the milky skin when Sehun exclaims:
- Oh, I remember one!
- Tell me.
The younger props himself on the bed-couch, suddenly energized, reclining on his elbows and making Jongin’s face slide to his chest.
- I don’t know how old I was. But it was like before 5 years old. That’s pretty early, right? And I was running on the park near our home, but then I fell down and my mom came to me. I was obviously crying, but I don’t remember it hurting a lot. You know how children cry when they fall even if they’re okay?
- Yeah.
- So yeah, I cried just like that. And my mom came to me. wasn’t even hurt, and maybe she could tell, but she took me in her arms and sang something to me. And I remember that so well: the feeling was so good… I felt safe. It was soothing and warm and I stopped crying.
- That’s one nice memory – Jongin said, hands caressing Sehun’s sides. Even in the dark, Sehun could see the way Jongin looked at him: attentively, fondly, beautiful sleepy eyes glimmering even in half-dark. Dumb ass smile. Sehun wants to roll his eyes whenever he sees that face just to mask the fact that he was head over heels with the boy in front of him.
On the TV, Macaulay Caulkin was now setting up a trap.
- It is, right? I’m actually very fond of it now that I think about it – Sehun muses, sliding back down and going back to their original position. – Now tell me yours.
- Mine?
- Of course, I want to know you better too… - the younger whined, making Jongin laugh softly into his neck, breath fanning on his skin. – Or even better! Who was your first crush, Kim Jongin?
- Oh – Jongin reacted, squinting his eyes in concentration. – It was one girl from my class, still in kindergarten. She liked me back…
- Of course – Sehun interrupted, rolling his eyes playfully.
- Yeah, of course she liked me back so we held hands and shared our lunch. I think I was five? Or six.
- That’s cute.
- You’re cute – he retorts quickly, stretching a bit to kiss Sehun’s nose. – What about you?
- That’s easy. It was an older boy, a neighbor. I was like…. Seven. He obviously didn’t like me back, so it was kind of unrequited love.
- A boy?
- I’ve only liked boys ever since I can remember – Sehun said, a sense of pride heavy on his voice when noticing Jongin’s baffled expression.
- Wow. Taste.
- You know it, Kim.
=
Jongin woke up with Sehun’s lips on his, slightly confused by the change of scenery. Diaphanous light made its way through the shutters and reflected on the closet across the windows; the bedroom, of course. He kissed back lazily, still very much sleepy, putting a hand around the younger boy’s waist, squeezing the skin there.
When Sehun pulled back, Jongin was greeted with a sleepy smile looming over him.
- Good morning – he whispered, grinning back; the hand on Sehun’s waist now traveled up and down his back as the younger boy laid his head on the other boy’s chest. – May I ask you at what exact moment did we got out of the couch and into the bed last night?
- You mean you don’t remember? – Sehun laughed, voice low, as soft as the pillows on the bed. – We ended up falling asleep in the living room but eventually woke up to come to the bedroom.
- I don’t recall any of that, honestly.
- That must mean that I woke up to sleep here and you sleepwalked, then – the younger said matter-of-factly, making Jongin laugh lazily. He pulled Sehun close to kiss him once again with no rush, no need to hide.
- Correct. I used to sleepwalk a lot more when I was a kid. I even talked in my sleep. – he took advantage of Sehun’s distraction and rolled them both over, now laying on top of the boy, their noses touching as he looked straight into Sehun’s eyes. – You hungry?
- Not really – he responded with a mischievous smile, sustaining Jongin’s gaze.
- Good – Jongin whispered, closing the distance between their lips, kissing intently, loving the way Sehun slowly opened up to him, with both tenderness and defiance.
Sehun snaked a hand in between them to touch Jongin’s already hard cock inside his boxers, making the boy’s breathing hitch just ever so slightly in his throat. Jongin pulled back and kneeled in front of him as Sehun’s hand stroked him lazily. It felt warm and familiar, he thought, pulling the younger boy’s boxers down his thighs.
How good it was to be like this with no fear of interruptions, Jongin mused with eyes closed. It was really all he ever wanted, but living with ten other boys made that an impossible task. The first thing he’d do back in Seoul was thanking Baekhyun for his help, really.
- So – Sehun interrupted his internal thoughts – We’re gonna fuck or not?
=
The sun had just gone down when the boys arrived at the pier. It was loud, different types of music mixing together with the screams of joy of both children and enthusiastic adults. It was a kind of small fair with lots of food being sold and some carnival games with plushies as rewards; Sehun walked along Jongin through the crowd, the back of their hands brushing every now and then.
It didn’t take long for them to get bored with the fair games; Sehun took Jongin’s hand and said “come”, pulling him through the crowd and towards the sand next to the pier.
Sehun paced around in front of him at the beach under the pier, looking like the most beautiful human he had ever seen, pale skin reflecting the moonlight.
- I’m happy that we came here, you know? – Sehun asked, nibbling on the cotton candy. Even the music and yelling from the fair in the pier above them wasn’t enough to muffle his voice. - I’m happy that you’re here with me. Samcheok is beautiful.
Jongin stood there in front of him, reclining on one of the pier’s pillars and just admiring the view – Sehun, the moon and the sea.
- I’m happy too – he said, fingers slightly trembling for no reason as he reached to push a lock of Sehun’s hair out of his face, noticing how long it’s gotten and how he secretly loved when it reached that length.
- … I’m terrible with words and feelings but… I’m glad that we met. Honestly. What are the odds, Jongin? – the younger mumbled.
- No idea. – Jongin answered with an endearing silly smile. – You think too much.
- You’re doing that face again.
- I don’t care – the older pulled Sehun closer, close enough for their noses to touch. – You’re beautiful.
- I love you – Sehun said, voice barely above a whisper, eyes locked with Jongin, his cold, free hand on the older boy’s neck.
60 years from now, Jongin will remember this moment and shiver just like he shivered on that night; he’ll feel his heart beat quickly against his ribcage just like it did at the moment Sehun said the words. In that moment, the world had stopped for a little and everything was suspended in time and nothing else mattered. Everything else is a blur.
Jongin will remember vividly how he held Sehun so close he was able to count his lashes when he closed his eyes and how they kissed under the moonlight, Sehun’s lips tasting like pure sugar and first everlasting love. In 60 years, his heart will skip a beat whenever he remembers the indescribable happiness of that moment that belonged to him and Sehun only.
- I love you too – he whispered into Sehun’s lips.
=
On the bus back home, Jongin looked through the window, observing how the scenery changed, how the sun reflected on the trees that flanked the driveway. On his shoulder, Sehun was sound asleep, mouth slightly ajar.
Something had changed between them during the short trip – a good change. A different, lighter type of intimacy was stabilished, stripped of all doubts. He felt himself letting go, being honest, and that somehow their relationship became even better than before.
And Jongin loved Sehun. He knew it even before they stepped foot on Samcheok, but those silly doubts always stopped him from saying it. He loved Sehun so much it almost made him cry sometimes; his heart seemed to almost not be able to deal with that much love. Almost.
- You know I would do anything to make you happy, right? – he murmured into Sehun’s hair, taking advantage of his sleep to confess his devotion. – Anything to see you smile.
- I know – Sehun whispered back, taking Jongin by surprise, making him blush a deep hue of red. He kissed the older boy’s shoulder, letting out a short chuckle. – I love you.
And Sehun said those words so easily. It came out of his mouth effortlessly, but deep in meaning. Jongin felt dizzy, intoxicated each time he heard that. Every time was like the first one.
Sehun didn’t know when it happened. Maybe it was while making breakfast together on that Sunday morning; maybe it was when he saw Jongin getting excited about sea shells, or when the older one fell asleep on his chest during that movie night. Sehun loved this boy, and the affection felt as natural as the passing of the seasons. He had to tell Jongin how much he loved him in every opportunity he had. He felt like telling the whole world about it, but since he couldn’t, it should remain an open secret, a not so hidden truth. An outsider just had to pay attention to find out.
- Are you happy? – Jongin asked, looking into Sehun’s eyes.
- Very. – he planted a kiss on the other’s lips, taking advantage of the empty bus.
- That’s what matters to me.