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This was a mistake.
Alex knows she shouldn't be here. She knows her invite was just out of courtesy. But she RSVP'ed anyways. Maybe out of spite, maybe out of curiousity.
She just wants to know who this kid is.
The one Kelley proudly posts pictures with all over social media.
The one who does what Alex couldn't do five years ago.
She must be pretty great, Alex reasons with herself as she's getting ready in her hotel room. She likes to think Kelley has fairly good taste in women. She did, after all, date Alex. And Christen, too, but that's only a supporting arguement to the statement Alex makes in her head.
But this girl, this Emily, is practically a child still.
Okay, she's actually twenty-three, but Alex can't help but feel insecure. She's nearing twenty-eight and already married and it's a secret but she's kind of a few weeks pregnant and, fuck she won't be able to have a few too many drinks to take the edge off. But what does this woman have that Alex didn't when she was twenty-three and so in love with Kelley it seemed like she would be the one walking down the aisle towards her one day.
Christen has assured her that Emily is a perfect match for Kelley. Tobin just said she's "totally rad" and that doesn't really help.
In reality, Alex knows why she and Kelley didn't last. She knows that it's her fault. But if she can find something, anything else to blame, she will. Because she's never really forgiven herself for what she did to Kelley. She knows she shattered the other woman's heart.
She should be glad that Kelley is doing so well. She is. She tries, at least. To be happy for the other woman. To not resent Kelley, or herself, or Emily.
Because for god's sake, she's married. And Servando is a great husband. The best. And she's pregnant with his child and she's thrilled about it.
But there's that one, tiny little part of her that is bitter still. About the unresolved way she and Kelley left things all those years ago.
So, she decided to go to Kelley's wedding. Without Servando, because she doesn't want to make things awkward. But as she walks into the chapel alone, she wishes she had brought him, if only for some comfort and support so she doesn't feel completely and utterly alone.
She spots some familiar faces and soon Ashlyn and Ali are waving her to join them and she's so relieved.
It's been a while since she last saw them and Ali boasts about how Ashlyn finally proposed and that pretty soon Alex will have to come to their wedding.
Ashlyn cracks a joke about how they might have to race Tobin and Christen to the alter and Alex laughs even though she had no idea Christen and Tobin were even thinking about marriage. It makes sense considering how long they've been together, but Alex realizes maybe leaving California the first chance she got wasn't the best of ideas. She's so disconnected from her friends' lives now.
The ceremony is beautiful and Emily is stunning and Kelley looks the happiest Alex has ever seen her and Alex is only a little bit jealous of that. Because their vows are so heartwarming and they're crying and laughing and telling each other they need to stop crying and Kelley drops the wedding band she's supposed to be slipping into Emily's finger because she's trembling with excitement and emotion and Alex feels herself tearing up a bit as well (she blames it on the pregnancy hormones.)
And then suddenly it's time for the reception and Alex is so thankful she's at a table with Ashlyn and Ali and she's thankful that Kelley wasn't petty enough to stick her at a table with a bunch of strangers.
She thinks back to her own wedding, nearly three years prior. Kelley attended the ceremony but felt "a little ill" and skipped out on the reception. Alex doesn't blame her. They haven't exactly been on good terms since their breakup. But now it's been almost five years and things have changed so much.
Alex finds her way to the open bar, even though she knows she can't drink. It makes her feel a little better, and one of the bartenders chats with her when he isn't busy making drinks and he doesn't question her when she orders something without alcohol.
"Fancy seeing you here."
Alex jolts at the sudden interruption of her thoughts, startled.
She turns to face the person slowly, as if the voice wasn't her favourite thing to hear for three years.
Kelley looks like she's floating on a cloud of happiness, and Alex offers her best most believable forced smile.
"Congratulations, Kel."
If Kelley is offended at the nickname, she doesn't show it. "I'm glad you came."
And Alex feels bad about her not so polite thoughts throughout the afternoon because she can tell Kelley is being genuine and so this time when she smiles, it's a little less fake.
"I wouldn't miss seeing such a momentous event of the Kelley O'Hara settling down and acting like a real adult," The teasing slips out more naturally than Alex thought possible.
Kelley laughs. "I've even got a real job and a real house, and get this," she pauses for dramatic effect, lowering her voice to a pretend whisper for the next part. "I've even got a dog."
"A dog?" Alex feigns shock. "Oh boy, you really are an adult, wow."
Kelley grins.
There a lull that is almost awkward but Kelley cuts in before it lingers too long.
"I wanna introduce you to somebody," She tells Alex, before turning and waving at someone, gesturing at them.
Alex glances over, already suspecting who it is.
She's right, of course, and the pretty blonde, newly dubbed Emily O'Hara is making her way over to them.
"Alex, this is Emily, my wife," Alex can practically hear how giddy Kelley is to introduce her as that, and Alex can't help but smile. "Em, this is Alex Morgan."
"It's great to meet you," Emily tells her earnestly.
Alex shakes her outstretched hand. "You too. It's an honor to meet the woman who locked down such a free spirit."
Emily grins and squeezes Kelley to her side. "I'm honored to be the one to land this cutie."
Alex only feels a small twinge of something burning in the pit of her stomach as Emily pecks a sloppy kiss to Kelley's cheek.
"Gross, Em!" but Kelley's laughing with that twinkle in eyes that Alex knows means she doesn't actually mind Emily's action at all.
Emily spots something behind Alex and tugs on Kelley's arm. "I think Lindsey just challenged Tobin to a drinking competition."
Kelley rolls her eyes affectionately. "Where the hell is Christen? She's supposed to be babysitting them."
"She's over there fawing over Ali's engagement ring for the thousandth time. She's been trying to drop hints to Tobin that she wants her to propose," Emily informs them. "Clearly it's not working too well."
"I won't keep you any longer then," Alex tells them. "Congratulations, once again. You two are clearly perfect for each other."
And it's true, mostly. They've got that look in their eyes. The one that's all sappy and shiny where you can just see how in love they are.
Alex remembers when Kelley used to look at her that way.
She realizes that she doesn't actually feel quite as bitter as she thought earlier. That was a long time ago. Things have changed, for the better. They're both married now, to two amazing people who are probably their actual soulmates, if those actually exist. She's happy for Kelley.
This experience was good for Alex, therapeutic, almost. She feels free now. More than she has in a long while when thinking about Kelley.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.