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It took every fibre of my being not to lose my mind. It took every fibre of my being not to snap and give up. It took every fibre of my being to look everything that had gone wrong in the eye and still continue on. Yet for some reason, something still felt empty. Something felt wrong. Not like the wrongs that had shattered how I viewed things, such as before. No… Instead, this felt wrong because it felt as if I was missing something.
I had no idea what this something was, but I had a few clues here and there. One of the clues being from that damned witch herself. I felt like… I should have hated her. Something about her always pissed me off. At least, she did piss me off until I was almost eaten by my brother. After we escaped him it turned out she was there the whole time, waiting for us when we were trapped in an earthpulse.
After I came out, somehow with a smile on my face despite the events that took place minutes before hand. After that, something in both of us changed. I came out a completely different person. My point of view shattered by the events, reformed into something more positive. It was at that point I noticed something about her.
I would love to say that it was that she was actually an amazing woman, and behind her jokes were her insecurities, being hidden away. I knew that all already. Ha, well, at least about the insecurities. Something about her had that peculiarity. Inside, she was hiding something that she was refusing to let out.
In terms of her being an amazing woman, that wasn’t exactly the case. She was definitely odd, but that didn’t make her a bad person. She definitely was the converse of an outstanding citizen in the traditional sense. Yet, if one ignored her actions, she had something about her that was rather calming in a way.
I never really knew what it was exactly until a minute or so before going back into our Inn room in Meirchio. Originally, I had gone in to grab something or another, but, I knew she was in there alone, and I knew I had ulterior motives.
The door opens, I walk in, and grab the item I was after. She’s laying there on the bed, head resting on her hands as she says something, “Forget something, my dear Velvet Cake?”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding at the time as I stop and look at her.
Her demeanor changes. I must have looked serious or something.
“Oh come on, what’d I say this time?”
I shake my head, “N-nothing, just thinking.”
Indeed, I was thinking. Thinking about everything that could happen if it went wrong, or even what would happen if it went right. I wondered if Innominat died, if I would… Or if Kamoana or Medissa would, or if… Phi… I couldn’t bear to see him die. He was too important to me.
Then something else intruded into my thoughts: thoughts of the witch in front me.
“Hm, well I don’t know about you, but I would stop thinking and start doing.”
“Leave no regrets, right?” I sigh, my moments slowing their pace at the thought of Magilou.
The light in the inn wasn’t perfect. But it was enough that I could see her. She looked wonderful, especially those eyes. They were as deep as the ocean, and surpassed its beauty.
She ignores my face reddening, “Yeah, something about fighting a god seems to make that the best sort of thing to do.
“Tell her you love her,” My thoughts interject.
She doesn’t ignore my blushing this time, “Wow, there really is something on your mind isn’t there?” She sits up, before standing, and walking toward me, “Something to get off your chest?”
Something about her changes. She doesn’t sound as sarcastic or apathetic as she usually did. It was nice, yet, rather unsettling.
My gaze shifts, and our eyes meet. We stay locked like that for a moment, before I avert my gaze, but she stared on, her expression changing as I turned shy.
My mind racks through every word it knows to find the right thing to say, yet, it won’t stay rational.
My mouth starts to speaking, and I’m powerless to stop it, “Yeah, quite a few things actually.”
Magilou’s demeanour returns to normal, “Well, I’m here, I might as well hear you out, even if I don’t really care.”
“Well, first of all. You annoy me to my wits end, as you put it. At times, you piss me off, and I wonder why I haven’t eaten you.”
I think that part caught her off guard, as her eyes go wide, and it looks as if she’s finally feeling something again.
“Well, I-” She starts to say something, a mixture of emotions taint her voice.
“Yet,” I continue, cutting her off, my mouth still going on without my permission, “You somehow make me feel alive. You remind of what it’s like to not have a care in the world in the best ways. Somehow, you’ve made me laugh even if I refuse to admit it. You’ve gone too far a couple of times, yet I can’t stop myself from forgiving you.”
Without realizing it, I take a step closer to her, and she does the same.
“Quit trying to get around it,” My mind scolds me.
“You should probably hate me, and you wish you would, but something about me keeps bringing you back around?” Somehow she’s spot on, making me wonder if I was inflicting the same pain unto her.
I nod, my gaze falling down again, “Yeah… I guess so.”
She laughs softly, and starts rambling, it sounds almost sarcastic at first, but I could sense her sincerity, “Well, if you’re being completely honest, I guess I’ll do the same,” Something, almost like anger takes over her voice, “I never wanted to like you. I never wanted to feel anything toward you. I thought once we had gotten to Hellawes I would be done with you. But then you came back after the Abbey got their hands on me, and I went with you, and the kid despite everything I promised myself,” Her voice cracks, “Then, I saw something resembling an iota of personality under that veil of darkness and rage, and I saw something I never wanted to see again, and in the end, I stayed with you.”
Her voice cracks again, yet she doesn’t pay it any mind, and she keeps going.
“I kept telling myself it was a mistake, and I shouldn’t do it, yet I did. I never intended to stay once I realized we were about to go kill the Shepherd, yet here I am. But, most importantly, I never wanted to like you. I never wanted to love you.”
A tear forms in her eye, as she realizes she’s powerless to stop herself.
"But then… But then you came out of that earthpulse after that kid did whatever we did, and I saw you smile,” She hangs on the word for a moment, “I saw you smile. Then I realized that you did what I never could. I realized that you were something other than insane, and completely rage-driven. That’s when I realized how horrendously I fucked up.”
The tear fell down her cheek, as her gaze falls, and she realizes all of what she said. Then, as usual she laughs, before letting out a weak, “Heh, leave no regrets? Right?”
I take a second, and decide on my action, “Yeah. So I guess I should do this now.”
She looks up, and she’s about to ask what I meant, but the words were cut off when our lips collided.
Her eyes go wide, before both of our eyes shut.
The kiss was something different. It was unique, and it felt magical.
Once we pull away she whispers, “About time you took the hint.”
I laugh, before I draw my hand to her cheek, and pull her in again for another kiss.
The kiss breaks slowly, and I get lost in her eyes. I found myself lost for a moment. Coming to realize that I could lose everything that her and I had built. I could lose her, no matter what happened with Innominat.
It was then my mind pushed those thoughts away, realizing that even if only for a moment, I felt true happiness.