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It must be close to nightfall again.
Raven can feel the outline of her ribs as she presses a shaky hand to her growling stomach.
She can't be bothered to open her eyes, but through her eyelids she can tell the daylight is beginning to fade; the rustle and bustle of the city streets above always sound like this at nighttime. Auldnoir, thankfully, isn't nearly as urban or crowded as Downtown or the pleasure district, but there's always a pattern to the way the inhabitants react accordingly with their schedules.
Work is over for a great many of them, and for another select few that work overnight in Endestria, their shifts will soon begin.
Hekseville never truly sleeps, and lately... neither does she.
She wants to, of course, but regardless of how much she yearns to just close her eyes and forget, the sleep never comes.
It's too quiet, too empty with just Raven here by herself. Xii is a faithful Guardian, and the only company she ever truly needs, but lately he's just as withdrawn as she is. Can he sense her pain? Her hunger? There isn't even a word for the way the loneliness has taken hold of her and dragged her down into the depths of the darkness.
It isn't supposed to feel like this, she knows. Her story is over. She should feel happy—fulfilled, even.
Raven's stomach lets out another growl; ignoring it, with every bit of strength she has left, she closes her eyes.
Maybe this time, the sleep will come.
"Raven?"
"What is it?"
"You're dreaming again." Kat smiles, a perfect mixture of kindness and sincerity that—always—reaches her eyes.
"...I know," Raven answers. She wishes she could return the smile, but in her dreams, there's always something that stops her. Her body is never her own, and that bothers her more than the fact that she's stuck in her own dreamworld to begin with.
This time they're in the cozy refuge of the pipehouse, a welcome change from the last dream—Raven can't always remember them, but the last time they were in that strange castle at the top of the Pillar. Not a very pleasant memory for either of them, especially for Raven. That particular "Kat"... no, Raven didn't know her. Even in her dreams.
But this time, she feels safe. Kat reaches out to touch her, and Raven pulls back. Why? Why can't she move on her own?
"You're mad at me... aren't you?" The way Kat says it so pitifully makes Raven feel like a horrible person. Maybe she is.
"Maybe I am." Well, at least Raven has more courage in her dreams. "You... left me all alone here."
Kat reaches for her arm, and for some reason, dream-Raven doesn't fight it this time... Kat pulls her down to sit on the bed, their legs almost touching at the knees.
"I'm right here," she says, smiling again, waiting for Raven to stop her as she slowly takes her hand and presses it against her chest.
Raven doesn't stop her.
Kat's heartbeat... such a gesture feels so unexpectedly embarrassing, but... it's real. Everything about it is real. Raven can feel it pulse against her fingers, trying to ignore the way the other half of her hand is almost cupping the smallest amount of Kat's left breast.
It's not long before Kat lets out a sigh—a long, dramatic one that forces away Raven's hand. "I'm so tired," she says. She scoots over to lie down fully on the bed, and Raven follows.
Kat's eyes are already closed by the time her head hits the pillow; Raven brushes away a strand of golden hair from the other gravity shifter's face.
"Me too."
It's been a week now since Raven's claimed the empty pipehouse as her own.
A week that has taken over her body completely and left her behind somewhere in the past.
She doesn't even realize that she's actually been sleeping until something loud and whirring stirs her senses back to reality. Raven fights with the twisted blankets of the musty old bed until they finally release her.
It's an annoying habit she's been trying to break, but her first instinct is to tense up and prepare for combat. A bad habit, she reminds herself, because there's nothing left to be scared of.
Not anymore.
Still, someone is here, right outside the pipehouse, and that's a first. She's not had any unexpected visitors, thankfully, since she's been staying here. Xii is more than enough to keep her company, and she's not too far gone to admit that she'd much rather be alone. Now more than ever.
"Raven?"
She lets out a quiet breath of relief once she realizes who the familiar voice belongs to.
"Syd..." She can almost see his head poking out over the ladder to the pipehouse now. "I... what are you doing here?"
It's only been a few days since she's seen him, but it feels like it's been a lifetime. She tells herself that isn't the loneliness talking, she's just getting adjusted to this new life. That's truly all it is.
His new outfit makes him look like more of a stranger than the Syd she's used to. The striped suit he's wearing once belonged to a mystery man behind a mask, but now that man has a face, and it's definitely Syd. Perhaps it was all an act before, but knowing Syd, it's probably best not to ask and just assume that it was, somehow, all a part of some crafty little plan.
She had never really considered them friends, but... at the very least, they were allies. She could give him that much.
“Hey, sorry to drop by unannounced like this… but I was hoping I could talk with you… catch up, you know, see how you're doing?"
“I... guess that's alright." She motions him forward. "You can come inside. If you want."
He looks pained to see the pipehouse now that he's finally inside, but maybe she’s only imagining it. Minus the candles she's been burning, it's too dim to really see anything other than his outline in the darkness.
“Ah… I’m sorry if this is a bad time.” He tries to muster a smile, but it's not quite right... not the smile she's used to seeing. “I meant to check up on you sooner, but the Boss told me I’ll be lucky if I get a day off for the rest of my life after abandoning my duties as long as I did...”
It's nice to hear someone's voice for a change. The only sound Raven usually hears now is her stomach, begging to be filled. The company, too, is nice. Raven hadn't expected that. If it was anyone other than Syd, she might've felt differently about the situation, but for now... she can handle it. Handle him.
She finally returns his smile. She remembers Bulbosa enough that she can, at least, sympathize with Syd's fear of him. “It’s not like you don’t have a good excuse this time…" she says, a broken attempt to continue the conversation. "You couldn’t have predicted the storm that swallowed us up back then."
The storm… it seems like a distant blur. Another lifetime ago.
“True, but... oh well, he’ll come around.” He waves the thought away as if it’s trivial. “I guess I should be happy he even gave me back my job at all. The Alias thing is pretty much out of the bag now, too, so..." He trails off, intentionally, before he can finish the thought.
"If I had known you were behind that mask back then, I would’ve killed you myself.” She says it harshly, but hopefully he can sense that she's only joking with him. Or is she? "...You nearly got me involved in that mess, too."
Syd laughs so suddenly that it startles her. “You remember that, huh? Funny story, that." He tries to recall it. "The whole thing started, really, because I was trying to spy on D’nelica..."
D’nelica… the name brings back a pang of regret… something else, too. Sometimes, the memories are unclear. Unwanted.
“Of course, I didn't intend to get on his bad side, but... well, that's a long story.”
She gets the sense that it isn't so much the length of the story that bothers him... he just doesn't want to talk about it anymore. She can definitely understand that feeling. Reminiscing would get them nowhere. Especially since every story they shared all involved a certain someone...
Well, all of them except for one.
“I remember you… in the alley. The first time we ever met.” He looks surprised that she even mentions it. “You helped me get away when the cops were looking for me… I never got to thank you.”
“Heh, I only did what I felt was right." He looks away, as if on instinct. "You were pretty scary back then, though. Maybe I should be thanking you for not killing me when you had the chance.”
His smile seems genuine enough, but there’s an underlying layer of swelling empathy that, if Raven didn’t know him better, she might not have noticed.
She knows he’s hurting too, but he's much better at hiding it.
He always has been, apparently.
“A-Anyway, I, um, I know you probably haven't had time to go shopping yet… so I brought you some stuff.” She somehow hadn’t noticed the bags he held in his hands, stiff at his sides. He sets them down in front of her at the table. “I hope you don't mind."
Raven bites down on her lip. Hard. “You... didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself." Her voice comes out louder than she’d meant for it to be, but Syd doesn't falter.
“I know you can, but… it's the least I can do, after all we've been through." He blinks at her, like he's waiting for her silent acceptance before he continues. “I have no idea what you like, so I got a little bit of everything. I know you love to eat, so—oh, and don’t worry, you can throw out anything you don’t want, I won’t be offended.”
Raven looks down at the bags, clearly full of enough food to keep her satiated for days, if not weeks. Her cheeks are burning, and there aren't any words she can think of to express her gratitude.
She’ll have to thank him properly once her nerves unravel and her voice returns. Once she's Raven again, and not this mess of emotions she didn't know she even had.
Syd has been so busy adjusting back to his own life in Hekseville, and yet… he clearly took time out of his schedule to do this for her. But why? She can't understand it, and the more she thinks about it, the more it begins to twist at her insides and...
“Oops, this one’s mine,” he says, reaching forward to grab out a long bottle from one of the bags; she’d almost forgotten how much he loves his wine. “Hey, don't look at me like that... I have needs too, you know.”
He says it like food isn't one of them, and Raven snorts. "To believe that, I'd have to believe you're an ordinary man with ordinary needs to begin with. Which I don't." She finds herself smiling once again, the realization of this kind gesture still stinging at her cheeks.
She’s not used to people being so nice to her… helping her like this... not since...
“But... I guess we're both far from being ordinary, aren't we?” she adds at the last second, breath spiked with indecision.
Syd shrugs, feigning something akin to innocence. Raven doesn't have the energy to remind him that he's hardly been without fault in the grand scheme of things, but...
Her stomach suddenly silences anything she'd thought about saying. Its roar for help can't be ignored... especially not now, with all this food at her fingertips.
She begins to absently sift through the food he’s brought her—all of them excellent choices, though she really isn’t picky. Raven's love for food greatly outshines any dislike she might have for any particular one thing. It seems Syd has better taste than she'd expected. Everything he’s picked out is simple, thankfully—nothing that requires a stove or anything that the homey little pipehouse doesn’t have. Though he pretends otherwise, he's clearly put a lot of thought and care into this, and the thought itself is more than Raven feels she deserves. There's nothing that can convince her otherwise.
“Well?” Syd asks hesitantly, fidgeting a little while he waits for her approval. “How’d I do so far...?"
She still can’t find the words to thank him, but she knows he can see the blatant fascination in her eyes. Her fingers linger over the second bag before she opens it.
“I think… it’ll last me until tomorrow, at least.”
“Tomorrow?!" Syd pales before he finally bites back a laugh—perhaps she still needs to work on her sense of humor. “Come on, there’s no way you can eat all this so fast—!”
Something smooth and cold grazes against her fingers in the bag. Curious, she pulls it out to inspect.
She isn’t prepared for the sight of the ripe, red apple staring back at her.
Something inside her explodes. It happens so fast, paired with the unstoppable welling of tears and the rise of sadness in her chest, eating away at her insides.
Raven has no choice but to drop the apple, and it makes a loud thud against the table. There’s no way she can let Syd see her cry like this; she can’t bring her hands to her face fast enough.
No, it's too late... she can't hide it now.
She’s certain the realization hits Syd just as hard, because his eyes widen at her reaction. He mutters something silently under his breath—maybe an obscenity she isn't meant to hear—that barely reaches her ears.
“I’m such an idiot, I-I'm so sorry, Raven... I just wasn't thinking when I picked that up, and—here, I'll just—" He grabs the apple tight in his fist, rearing back towards the entrance of the pipehouse like he means to chuck it clean out of Auldnoir... make it disappear forever, like it was that easy to just forget.
"No!" She grabs his arm roughly. “I-It’s fine, I want to keep it...!” She hates the way her tears make her sound small. She doesn’t recognize her own voice. She manages to stop him before he lets go, prying the apple away from him, and it’s already warm from the desperate way they've both been clutching onto it.
Raven stares down, once again, at the plump, red apple. Still shiny, polished, even in the candlelight.
She can’t look at it without thinking of Kat. The day she arrived in Hekseville. The happy, childish way she’d bite into one at the market like she means to swallow it whole. The silly way she'd pose for pictures while holding one...
A red apple fell from the sky.
Her song, the one she loved to sing and hum along with throughout the town.
Kat…
“I’m so sorry,” Raven cries, a crack in her voice that makes Syd drop his eyes. “It just took me by surprise. I’m so embarrassed, I… I’ve never done this in front of—“
Of anyone, really. She’s never been one for tears.
...Not since this week.
“Hey, come on, look at me.” Syd sits down at the table again, opposite her. She has no choice but to listen to him. “You can get through this. I know you can.”
She nods weakly, unable to do anything but wipe at her tears with her sleeves.
“There’s nothing wrong with letting it all out, but eventually you’ll need to learn to deal with this pain, too.” He says it as though he has experience, and he hesitates when Raven locks eyes with him. “Besides… Kat would kick me all the way back to Jirga Para Lhao if she knew I’ve already made you cry and it's only been a week."
There’s something both comforting and heartbreaking in finally hearing him say her name. After all, no one knows Kat like they do.
Raven sniffles behind her attempt at a smile. “I know. How stupid...” She's almost managed to stop the tears; at least a few of them have dried up. “Here I am, crying like a child, and… isn't this the second time you've lost her?"
The question somehow takes Syd by surprise, because he looks away. “That's..." For a moment, it's like he'd forgotten. If only.
"I miss her so much already.” The words leave Raven's mouth before she can net them back inside.
At that, he smiles. "Me too. But… we have to move on. She's doing what needs to be done.” It's unusual to hear Syd so stern, but she knows... he isn't wrong. Tonight there's a sort of indisputable wisdom in his eyes. "You have to accept the challenges life brings. And they won't always be easy."
Raven opens her mouth to speak, but...
“So how long… have you been in love with her?”
"What?!" The question comes out of nowhere, like a well-timed slap. Raven knows there’s no reason to ignore her feelings anymore, especially not in front of Syd. Still, her cheeks begin to burn again and her mouth goes dry… she can barely choke out an answer. She’s going to kill him. "I..."
Syd lets out a quiet chuckle. "Sorry. I shouldn't have—"
“—As long as I can remember.” Her memories feel jumbled, but they’re still there. "I couldn't have accomplished anything in this town without her. I know that now. But how did you…?”
“I'm pretty good at reading these things. I could always tell."
For the sake of Raven's pride, she hopes she hadn't always made it that obvious.
“…Will you tell me about her? I want to know... everything." Raven looks up at him, resigned to her denial. "I've been trying not to think about her, but... maybe just this once, it wouldn't be so bad. The memories of her are all we have left.”
Syd shrugs, and he's back to his old self again because Raven can't read his expression. "If that's what you want."
Raven lets the idea linger a bit too long in her head, torn between whether or not talking about Kat would truly change the way she feels. She knows she'll be a mess either way.
Syd chuckles. “I'm not sure where to start. She’s changed so much. But I'm proud of her... I never could have imagined she'd be so strong." His face darkens. "Even though I've... always known her fate.”
How is he so good at hiding it? Even now?
Raven lets her hands drop down to her thighs and grips tightly at the fabric there. “How were you able to keep it a secret for so long? From all of us? And from Kat? I don't understand..."
“I had to learn to accept it, whether I wanted to or not. It’s not like I had much of a choice… believe it or not, the Creators had me on a pretty tight leash there for a while.”
“You? On a leash?" Raven rolls her eyes playfully at the thought. "I find that hard to believe.”
“You know that creepy girl with the ponytails? There was no doubt in my mind that brat would kill me without a second thought if I disobeyed and went behind her back!”
Raven snickers; could he be talking about...? “Cyanea? You were scared of a little girl?”
“A little girl with the powers of a god." He scoffs. "You better believe I was. Trust me, you do not want to be on her bad side.”
Raven's ears perk up at that, because that's a story she wouldn't mind hearing. Syd had a special talent for getting on many people's bad sides. Still, sitting here, talking like this… it was nice. A distraction from the thoughts in her head, and the loneliness always biting away at her.
For a minute, she'd forgotten how upset she was, but it snaps back soon enough.
“Are you going to stay here...?" she suddenly asks. "In Hekseville, I mean.”
He doesn't even stop to think about it before he nods. "There’s nothing left for me in Eto… not anymore."
Raven closes her eyes. “I'm sorry.”
“Don’t be. This place isn't so bad, is it?” Syd smiles, turns around to look outside. “She liked it here. I think it grew on her… I always knew it would."
She’s always reminded of how much Syd truly cares for Kat. For Alua... the girl Raven would never know.
“It’s up to us to protect this town for her now,” he continues. “I was actually going to talk to you about that."
Raven raises an eyebrow, unsure. “About what...?”
“I know you’re still getting settled in again, but... well, the Boss wanted me to let you know that you’re welcome to do as you please here in Hekseville from now on. Didn't want you to think there was any hard feelings... in fact, he said if you ever wanted to help us patrol in your free time…”
Raven takes a deep breath, eyes wide with surprise.
“Well, he might even be able to pull a few strings and help you get a small stipend for your services. Not a bad deal, eh?”
“Syd…" Her voice is shaky, unrecognizable again. "Why are you doing this for me?"
There's an unspoken plea on his face when their eyes meet. A look of uneasiness that says, "I'll tell you, but you might not want the answer."
"Tell me," Raven begs anyway, a demand for something she isn't sure she can handle. No, that isn't true. She knows now more than ever... if she could handle losing Kat, and was still here to tell the tale...
She could handle anything.
Her face softens, on purpose, to convince Syd that she isn't going to twist his arm or force it out of him. But she wants to know. She wants to know everything.
“When we said our goodbyes, I… she made me promise that I’d help take care of you. That I wouldn't leave you alone.”
“She… said that?" Raven asks incredulously. Kat had really made such a request...? For her? No, this was... too much.
Or not enough. She can never tell which, sometimes.
“She knows you’re just fine on your own, we both do. But that doesn't mean we can't help each other, too. She's always taught me that.”
“Kat…"
Raven can’t stop the tears that form again, and she can't help herself as she throws herself forward. Syd is more surprised than she is when she pulls him into an awkward embrace over the small table in between them. She's only ever instigated one other hug before—with Kat—and well... that one was awkward, too. Raven's social skills have undoubtedly come a long way, but they still need some work.
But she'll have plenty of time to work on that now, won't she?
“Thank you,” she whispers finally, barely audible, but she knows Syd can hear her. He pats a hand onto her back, a soft, fractional rhythm.
"We’ll get through this... together. You’ll see." When she lets go, he’s still smiling down at her wistfully. "You're not alone, you know. You've got Lisa, and Cecie, and all of Banga, and Aki, and..." He laughs. "Well, you've got me, too."
She wipes away another tear. "I guess you somehow always find a way to be useful in the end."
She takes a sudden bite out of the apple still in front of her, just the smell of it enough to tempt her insatiable hunger. Tonight she'll be full for the first time in a while. She'll have a feast, right here in the pipehouse, in Kat's memory.
Starting with the apple.
Syd slowly stands to his feet. “Well, I better get out of here before you make me get all teary-eyed, too," he says sadly, his voice too soft and ponderous to question. "Take care, Raven… and I hope you’ll take what I said into consideration. You know where to find us if you ever decide to—"
“I'll do it,” she says, her senses finally rallied. Her mind has already been made up. "Count me in.”
Syd looks surprised that she's already came to such a quick decision, but he's pleased—relieved, even, because his expression brightens considerably.
She’ll gladly be Hekseville’s new protector... just like Kat once was. Raven knows she'll never be able to replace her as Hekseville's true savior, but she'll do it for the sake of the people that Kat loved. The people Kat gave her life to save.
The shoes of the former Gravity Queen would be tough to fill, but...
"Great, I'll be sure to let the Boss know!" Syd is already halfway down the ladder when she hears his voice. "Besides, with you helping out, maybe I'll actually be able to get some rest once in a while..."
Maybe the last part he meant to keep to himself.
"Wait, what?" Raven pokes her head out of the pipehouse, but somehow, he's already jumped onto his cruiser and ready to take off at full speed.
Had she been tricked...? Her determination and valor start to fizzle out, if only for a moment, as she considers it.
"See ya later, Raven!"
Raven shifts the gravity around her body for the first time in days... Xii lets out a quick caw of surprise as she floats outside the pipehouse. If she doesn't hurry, she'll never be able to catch up with him at this rate...!
Syd had an awfully strange way of motivating people, but this time, it's going to come back and bite him.
When it came to dealing with the former Phantom of Hekseville, in all his unpredictable, shameless glory...
This little game of his is necessary, she knows. It always has been.
And someone needs to babysit Syd now too, in Kat's absence, and she knows Kat wouldn't have wanted it any other way. There's definitely no one else who could do it in her place. It had to be her.
Smiling, Raven clutches her apple tightly in her fist.
We'll get through this together, Kat... until you come home to us.