Chapter Text
Seoul, Yonsei University - 12:04 PM
She looked at the slimy liquid disappearing into the toilet, sighing a little.
Vomiting wasn't her favorite pastime activity, but sometimes she just felt like she needed to set herself free from the weight she felt inside her stomach.
It wasn't pretty, nor it was something she felt proud of.
Chaeyoung felt like there was a little monster inside her, that took control of her body and drove herself into doing some stupid things.
Like vomiting her whole lunch inside the university toilet.
She cleaned her face with the back of her hand, forgetting about the most basic hygiene rules and got up from the floor, opening the stall's door with her right hip.
Then she dove her hands under the clear and refreshing tap water flow and sprinkled some over her face too, being careful not to mess up her makeup.
She felt like she was slowly falling asleep and she needed to wake up from the deep slumber she felt she was falling into.
With her right hand, she retouched her lipstick, and then she walked out of the bathroom, proceeding with a fast pace.
The hall was filled with people, as usual, and the sound of her boots hitting the floor was barely recognizable, covered by the chatting of the other students.
Chaeyoung didn't really feel anything about crowds. She knew the majority of people would shiver only thinking about standing in the middle of one, but to her it was no big deal.
Attending the most populated university in Seoul built her well and made her get used to big groups of people all gathered into the same place.
With her slender legs she walked the whole hall, finally reaching again the cafeteria, where she left off her friend because of the urge to puke.
Chaeyoung greeted her with a big smile on her face and sat back at her table.
-You came back fast.- Her friend noticed, making her smile a little.
Chaeyoung was now a professional vomit athlete, she could do it and pretend nothing happened in less than five minutes. She considered it some kind of personal award, even if she didn't know if being a vomit athlete was a thing.
-Did I?- She played fool, while looking again at her tray, completely emptied. She felt a little sorry, but she knew she couldn't help it.
Then she switched back to her friend's face, with a loving smile on her face.
She analyzed her dark black hair, her cute little fringe, her white foundation that didn't match the color of her neck and the perfect manicure she was sporting that day.
Jisoo was surely beautiful, and she was always really cared about her appearance.
Something Chaeyoung, on the other hand, didn't really think about. Her nail polish was irregular and chipped off, her BB cream didn't have that trendy ghost white color all girls used and her hair looked like a mess, stuck on her sweaty forehead.
After some moments of silence, Jisoo spoke up again.
-So, what is your next exam?-
-It's Social Psychology.- Chaeyoung answered while diving both of her hands into her messy black hair.
-Scared?- Jisoo asked right before taking a bite off her tuna sandwich.
-Kinda. I have three books to study and I only have read one. I think this time I'm fucked.- She said desperately, looking at the sky, looking for some kind of sign or help.
-I'd say capital F fucked.- Jisoo corrected her, chuckling and making Chaeyoung laugh with her too.
-I don't know why I keep procrastinating until I can't make it up.-
Jisoo smiled and then chuckled a little.
-You should be the one explaining it. Isn't your major psychology?- She asked rethorically.
Chaeyoung smiled a little.
-You're right. But sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing. They don't explain that into our books.-
-Maybe not even big psychologists can find a reason.-
-Human mind is a mystery.- Chaeyoung said, while into her head she recalls what she did just a few moments back and she wonders what was that.
It's a mystery, indeed.
Jisoo smiled and then bit her sandwich again.
-You should bring your own food, as I do. So that you can avoid eating what they cook here.-
-It's not that bad. I prefer this over my mom's cooking.- She joked, while Jisoo shook her head smiling.
Chaeyoung's mom had never been a great cook. Her father was usually the one cooking, because her mom was the type that often mistook salt and sugar together and ended up making a mess.
Her father always said that absent-mindness ran in their blood because of her mom, and probably that was why Chaeyoung sometimes felt so lost. Like her mom, she was genetically absent-minded.
-Poor woman. She puts her whole soul into what she does and you blame her.-
-Have you ever eaten sweet ramyun? It doesn't taste great, I assure you.- Chaeyoung said, making Jisoo laugh.
-I can only imagine.- Her friend said chuckling.
Chaeyoung shook a little her head and then started looking for her smartphone in her black purse, while Jisoo gave the last bite to her tasty meal.
They were deep in silence, but it didn't feel awkward. It was an okay silence.
Chaeyoung checked her SNS accounts, her Kakaotalk messages and glanced at the weather widget on her screen.
No rain was planned for the day, and Chaeyoung was secretly happy.
She hated coming back home drenched in cold water. She always ended up getting wet, no matter how many umbrellas she brought with her. Plus she wasn't a fan of thunders. They kinda scared her, instead.
-When will your lessons finish today?- Jisoo asked, playing with her fingers.
Chaeyoung lifted up her face from the phone and thought a little before answering.
-2 p.m. Today is my lucky day.- She smiled.
-Wow. I won't get out of here till 6. I'm envious.- Jisoo answered, pouting a little.
Chaeyoung got up, sticking her tongue out at her friend and then gathered the litter of the table on her tray.
-I have to go now. See you tomorrow.- Chaeyoung said with a tiny smile, then she leaned in and gave a tiny peck on her friend's cheek.
Then, she turned her back at her and threw the leftovers away, then put the tray back on the cafeteria's counter.
She walked away, playing with her hair between her thumb and her index finger, heading right towards the exit.
She was too tired, she didn't want to attend her last lesson. Sometimes, it was overwhelming even for her.
Chaeyoung thought she was a gifted person. She had a never ending patience and she was super good at acting. It was probably her best skill. But that day, she didn't really feel like listening to someone anymore. Her head was spinning and was hurting, because of the lessons she attended and because of the fatigue she felt after stressing her body.
She looked at her earphones in her hand, wondering if listening to music with a killing headache was a good idea. Overall, listening to music should have had a relaxing effect over her, but she didn't really feel like it.
The world was too much noise. All she needed was silence.
People often underestimated the importance of staying in silence for a few minutes. It was calming, relaxing. She could always feel her pieces coming back together as one.
She avoided taking the bus and started walking over the sidewalk, with her heavy black boots.
Luckily, her house wasn't far from her University. She liked walking and strolls were her way to go.
Chaeyoung didn't plug her earphones in. She listened to the sound of her steps and of the outside world.
When she finally reached her house, she sighed in relief and entered into her apartment building. Climbed fast the stairs, panting a little because of her rush, and then opened the door to her flat.
-Hello mom.- Chaeyoung said, taking off her shoes.
Her mother walked fast on the parquet, looking at her a little puzzled.
-Why aren't you at school?- She asked, worried.
Chaeyoung smiled a little.
-Last lesson was canceled. And it's not school, it's University.- She corrected her mom, chuckling.
Her mom shrugged her shoulders and then came back into the kitchen.
Chaeyoung looked at her with a scared face and followed her till they reached the kitchen counter.
-What are you doing?-
Her mom looked at her and then smiled.
-Today Dad didn't have time to cook lunch so I'm the one doing it. You've already eaten, didn't you?-
In a moment, the bathroom scene flashed into Chaeyoung's mind and she tried to erase it by shaking her head.
-Yeah I did. Our cafeteria's food is not that bad.-
-What did you eat?- Mom asked while checking how her meal was doing.
-Bulgogi and rice.- Chaeyoung said. while taking a seat on their table.
-Bulgogi is so hard for me to make. I wonder how they do it.- Mom wondered, making Chaeyoung chuckle.
-It's easy. Just admit that you're not a skilled cook. We all know.-
Mom turned her head at her, with a pouty face while Chaeyoung was laughing all along.
Then, her mother filled her plate with the Bibimbap she just finished cooking and she reached her daughter, sitting right in front of her.
-Did you follow some internet tutorial?- Chaeyoung asked.
Her mom shook her head.
-No, since every time I follow some recipe it turns out bad. I prepared it following solely my instinct.-
Chaeyoung shivered internally. That surely tasted like hell.
She took her spoon and tasted a little of the rice.
-How's it, honey?-
Chaeyoung couldn't even answer, while she felt her eyes filling up with tears.
-Mom...- She could barely say, before starting coughing.
-What's wrong? Is it bland? Or too salty?-
The university girl shook her head vigorously.
-Spicy! Spicy mom!- She could finally say in the middle of her coughing attack.
-Ah, come on! If it's spicy it's good!- Her mom said, eating two full spoons of her rice.
Chaeyoung observed her, waiting for her reaction to show on her face.
Mom's face was red, she had her forehead drenched in sweat and her eyes looked watery.
When she started coughing, the girl laughed, even if she was in pain too. That scene was so funny.
-Told you!- She said, getting up from the kitchen table.
Her mom couldn't talk, she was still suffering because of the pain.
-I suggest you to order some food. And throw that away.- Chaeyoung spoke, pointing with her tiny index finger at her mom's plate.
Mom nodded without making a sound, while Chaeyoung disappeared behind the door leading to her room.
She was finally alone, and isolated from the rest. Finally.
She threw herself on the bed, after leaving her purse on the floor and sighed in relief.
Then, she fell deep into a relaxing beauty sleep.