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Ginny Weasley was sitting on her best friend’s bed at exactly 7:34 in the morning when she first realized that she might like girls.
Maybe.
Ginny remembers the time exactly because Luna set down her hairbrush next to her confusingly still operational muggle alarm clock and did a dead man’s fall directly onto the bed next to her.
Luna’s hair fanned out around her like a halo. The morning sun was at just the right angle to illuminate her face with a heavenly glow. She had yet to put on her school uniform, and was in a, frankly, indecent state of undress after her shower. The white skin of Luna’s chest seemed to blend perfectly into her simple white bra, and her grey uniform skirt was slung low on her hips.
All this combined with a Luna’s breathy sigh of contentment and a gentle caress on the inside of Ginny’s wrist (a motion that, until now, had seemed like a friendly greeting), sent Ginny’s senses into overload.
A zing went through her body, a sharp and intense appreciation of Luna’s beauty.
The world had positioned itself perfectly to accentuate the curve of her hip bones and the softness of her blonde hair.
This only meant that Ginny could appreciate girls’ bodies, not actually really like girls. Right?
The second time Ginny realized that she might like girls happened before Quidditch practice. It wasn’t such a sharp and clear moment as the first time, more like pit opening in her stomach.
She was early, hoping to get a few laps in on her broom before practice actually starting. She never got tired of the feeling of flying.
She walked into the girls’ locker room, turned a corner and found Katie Bell pinned to the wall, eyes closed in delight as Angelina Johnson attacked her neck with such ferocity that Ginny was sure it would leave bruises.
Angelina’s hands were under Katie’s shirt, cupping her breasts. Katie grabbed the other girls butt had pulled her closer. Both of them giggled slightly.
They were too wrapped up in eachother to notice Ginny. She quietly walked backwards out of the room and sank down on the wall next to the door.
She had never seen two girls like that with each other. Sure, Katie and Angelina held hands in the Great Hall at breakfast and cuddled in the common room, but this was something entirely different. It was a private moment, and she felt guilty for intruding. But, she felt such a… connection with them.
This was lust; she was sure of it.
But she’d never really ever… even though everyone thought she had with Michael and with Dean, but she’d never wanted to.
It’s just that she was older now and more curious. It had nothing to do with the fact that Katie and Angelina were both girls. Right?
The next time Ginny realized she might like girls was in the middle of a loud celebration of victory in the Gryffindor common room. This time felt like a sucker punch in the gut, knocking out all the wind in her body and completely disorientating her.
She had been substituted in as Seeker in the last game of the season because Harry had landed himself in detention again.
The pressure on her had been crushing, and the feeling of success had been so sweet. She was soaring without a broom, on top of the world, and as light as air.
She instantly turned into lead and plummeted a million miles downward the moment Harry kissed her.
A hug was all that Ginny had wanted. She had wanted to assure Harry that everything was alright. They’d won!
But Harry had a different idea.
There was complete silence in the common room when they broke apart. She was so grateful that her back was to the crowd so they couldn’t see her face, and additionally grateful that Harry had enough tact (a quality in which he was often wanting) to lead him both out of the portrait hole before anybody saw the amount of panic blossoming on it.
Harry apologized over and over again as they wandered through the dark castle. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. It was okay, really, she promised him.
Harry was everything she had wanted since she was ten. Handsome, brave, modest, the hero of the Wizarding World. So,why didn’t she like him?
It’s just that Harry was too much like a brother for Ginny to ever consider kissing seriously. Right?
The idea that she might like girls buzzed around in Ginny’s head for a while, but the first time she even considered connecting words to her vague feelings happened on a Hogsmeade weekend. It felt like blinding whiteness and fear.
She was in The Three Broomsticks, surrounded by friends. The sound of laughter was everywhere, and a feeling of warmth filled her chest, a feeling Ginny was unsure as to its origin. Perhaps she just loved her friends, but perhaps the firewhiskey Ron had gotten from Rosmerta now that he was seventeen was to blame.
It was getting late. The sunset was dotted with the shadows of late winter snowflakes. Though the sun was setting, they would not be back to the castle until a minute before curfew. Or so Ginny thought.
That was before the sound of shattering glass and raised voices in the flat winter air.
It was a word that she had heard Ron use before, but hadn’t meant anything important then. It used to be a passing joke, a vague insult that everyone used.
But this time, hearing the word “gay” slung around as an insult broke a barrier inside her chest that Ginny hadn’t even been aware of building.
Pent up emotion came rushing out of her as anger, as it so often did, but she had an excuse, a target to punish for her negative feelings.
So what if Harry followed Draco around? Draco was a Death Eater, and probably the behind the reason that the Quidditch team was short a chaser, and how Angelina had almost lost a girlfriend. He was a threat.
That didn’t mean Harry was gay.
Don’t say it like it’s ugly. Don’t say it like it’s wrong. Don’t say it like it’s easy.
No one was laughing now. Ron’s ears were bright red, and his face as set in an angry scowl. The ease of conversation was lost, and Ginny no longer felt welcome.
She left the bar quickly, still with a half finished glass of firewhiskey in her hand.
Ron followed her out of the pub, not willing to let go of a fight.
She heard his voice as if he was a football field away, rather than a few meters.
“Why do you care what I say about Harry’s love life? You had your opportunity and broke the bloke’s heart.”
That’s when she drained the rest of the whiskey, and threw the glass in his direction, not caring if it actually met its mark.
The sound of shattering glass against cobblestones and a loud yelp of surprise seemed even fainter still as she ran down the path towards the castle.
That was the last time Ginny felt any derision about her sexuality.
Ginny ran for what seemed like both an age and no time at all. She found herself in front of the Ravenclaw common room, debating on whether or not grabbing the knocker was actually a good idea.
In the end, she decided that all she needed to feel not so horribly scattered and angry anymore, so she knocked.
She made her way to the fifth year dorm and pushed open the door.
Luna was sitting on a window seat, staring out of the glass at the stars with a spyglass of her father’s invention. Her long, white nightgown and unbound hair gave the whole scene an ageless and ethereal quality.
The girl’s focus was broken as she turned towards the sound of squeaking hinges.
She smiled at Ginny as she lowered the spyglass and said, “Venus’s glow is rather prominent tonight. Don’t you think?”
All Ginny could do was nod back and join her on the window seat.
Luna leaned onto her shoulder, and combed her hands through Ginny’s long, snow-damp hair. Ginny leaned back towards her for long time, listening to the wind whistle outside Ravenclaw tower.
“I was just about to go to bed, and you smell like you’ve been doused in firewhiskey, so I imagine you’re probably drunk?” Luna said, still playing with her hair.
The buzzing in her brain told her to nod. The world span and everything smelled like plums and evergreen, the perfume combination Luna concocted that autumn.
Luna left the window seat. Ginny missed her warmth until she saw Luna get into bed and pat the empty spot next her.
Ginny slowly stood up and shed her coat and scarf. She yanked off her boots, and pulled off her jeans. Charlie’s old dragon patterned jumper was overlarge on her anyway.
She didn’t think about anything as she climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep in next to Luna.
Ginny Weasley woke up in her best friend’s bed at an indeterminate time in the grey morning when she first realized that she loved a girl.
The girl in question was asleep a small distance away from her face. The warmth of her body was evident even though they weren’t touching.
Through bleary, light-sensitive eyes, Ginny surveyed Luna’s familiar face.
She had no memory of the moment when she first began to feel this warm glow whenever Luna was near her. It had been a slow progression of light touches and kindness building up to this moment. She was in a warm, soft bed on a Saturday morning, falling neatly into love with her best friend.
Birds chirped outside the window. Luna’s blue four poster hangings filled with a soft glow that signaled the rise of the sun.
Ginny thought she should to get back to Gryffindor tower soon. Ron would throw a hissy if he didn’t see her at breakfast, and think she was dead in the bottom of the lake. Her roommates were bounded to gossip if they saw she hadn’t slept in her bed last night.
Besides, she shouldn’t have even gone to Luna last night. All this, her feelings, weren’t fair to Luna. She shouldn’t be sleeping in the bed of a girl who wouldn’t like her back.
Ginny attempted to untangle herself from the sheets as quietly as possible, but her movement roused Luna.
Her tongue heavy and words jumbled, she said, “It’s bad luck to leave before your bedfellow awakens. Venus doesn’t appreciate it.”
Ginny smiled down at her, unable to speak dare she disrupt the perfect stillness in the air.
“And because I’m not fully awake yet,” Luna continued, “you have to stay until I’ve slept in. It’s a weekend.”
She made a compelling enough argument to make Ginny pull the blankets back over body, and burrow down into the pillow. To be fair, any argument would have sufficed, really.
Luna moved over, closer to Ginny, and rested her head on her chest. Her breathing slowed as she quickly feel back to sleep.
Ginny would stay, for now. She put her arm around Luna and waited for her to wake up.