Chapter Text
Tessa woke up, the bus was parked, all was quiet. She rolled over onto her back, staring at the top of her bunk. She sighed. She should have been excited, but she wasn’t. It was their last tour date – she’d woken up in St John’s and all she felt was dread. The Thank You Canada Tour had gone so well, better than she and Scott could have ever envisaged. They’d worked hard on this, they wanted this and yet the love and support received still surprised them.
She had her curtain drawn so couldn’t see out but she turned onto her side. Scott’s bunk was directly across from hers, they could see each other when their curtains were open and could have silent conversations that drove their castmates crazy.
She moved the curtain slightly, peeking out. There was still only silence around her and she looked at her watch. 5AM. She really couldn’t sleep if she was awake at this ridiculous hour. She’d already been awake for hours just waiting for the time to pass before falling into a restless sleep. She watched for any movement outside of the privacy of her bunk. Seeing nothing, she quietly drew the curtain across and got up slowly.
She went to the bathroom and then returned to her bunk, hesitating slightly. She stepped across to Scott’s bunk, quietly moving the curtain to find him sleeping, facing towards the wall.
“Scott,” she whispered, lightly shaking his shoulder.
“T…what’s wrong?” came his sleepy reply as he rolled over and struggled to open his eyes.
“I couldn’t sleep,” said Tessa, her bottom lip out in a pout.
“Come here,” he murmured sleepily and she got in beside him, drawing the curtain.
“Are you nervous about the last shows?” he asked quietly.
Tessa shook her head, looking sad. Scott kissed her forehead, seeing she didn’t feel like talking.
“Get some more sleep,” he said, pulling her closer.
Her back right against his chest, she settled down and smiled as Scott kissed her cheek, draping an arm over her. He was soon fast asleep again and she relaxed too, falling asleep and waking up again at 7am.
Her mood was still low but it was hard to feel sad when she’d woken up here. Scott was still asleep, arm around her, she could feel his warmth against her body.
But things were changing, it was the end of the tour and they had more projects to work on but…she knew it wouldn’t be the same. She had to admit it to herself; she’d miss seeing him every day, spending time with him every day. She knew it was stupid, she knew it was likely a recipe for heartbreak but here she was. She didn’t move, content to stay in his arms as long as possible.
When Scott woke, she felt a gentle kiss against her hair.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still gravelly with sleep.
“Morning,” murmured Tessa.
She moved, turning in his arms to face him.
“You slept,” he said, gently caressing her cheek.
“I did,” said Tessa. “You helped me relax,” she added, lowering her eyes shyly for a moment.
“I’m glad,” said Scott.
It wasn’t the first time they’d slept in each other’s bunks on tour – the night before the first show, Tessa had been anxious with nervous energy. He could hear her tossing and turning – he knew it was Tessa without even looking. Sure enough, Tessa had sighed as he’d opened her curtain, giving him a sheepish smile.
“I can’t sleep,” she’d said and he’d shaken his head, getting into her bunk with her.
“Alright, I’ll tell you a bed time story,” he’d whispered.
She’d giggled and snuggled against his chest as he told her a story he was making up as he went along about a princess who was a skating champion finding her way through a maze to an arena and performing in front of a huge crowd who all adored her. Tessa had laughed quietly, before drifting off to sleep. Being in his arms always had the effect of relaxing her so he hadn’t even needed to tell her a story really, but she’d enjoyed it nonetheless.
Scott had held her until morning, both waking up to the noises of their cast mates awake and they’d silently laughed. They knew they’d be teased but neither acknowledged that bed sharing wasn’t entirely platonic.
“You slept,” Scott had said, brushing a lock of hair away from her face.
He could tell she’d slept just by looking at her, and her eyes were bright as she looked back.
“I slept, thank you,” she’d replied.
Scott had smiled and kissed her forehead.
“We better get up,” he’d said and they’d got up and gone about their day as normal. Their cast mates teased them a little about their sleepover, but both had ignored it, laughing it off.
Now, there had been quite a few of those incidents, where one or the other, but usually Tessa, couldn’t sleep. She’d go to Scott for an extra hug or a bit of a joke to relax and usually end up staying in his bunk with him or he’d tire of her incessant tossing and turning and get into her bunk with her…just for a bit, and end up staying there.
“You excited about today?” asked Scott.
“Not really,” replied Tessa honestly.
“Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know, I can’t really talk about it right now,” said Tessa, looking at him apologetically.
Scott though, always understood when she needed time.
“I’m here when you’re ready,” he said simply, ruffling her hair.
“I know,” said Tessa with a smile.
The morning passed quickly as they had breakfast and then went to the arena for a pre-show warm up and run-through.
“Where’s Tessa?” asked Kaitlyn as the group returned from the locker rooms and got onto the ice. Tessa had been there but suddenly she wasn’t. A quick search of the backstage area didn’t provide any clues. The group shrugged and went on with their rehearsal but Scott couldn’t relax. Tessa that morning had been tense, melancholy. They’d all gone to the arena together and she had been with the group. She’d been standing next to Scott until they all dispersed to the locker rooms and then she’d disappeared.
Tessa was glad none of the girls had noticed her sneak away, she’d changed with the others and then left the arena. She walked down towards the harbor, finding a quiet spot and looking out at the water while taking calming breaths.
Scott ran a hand through his hair nervously, standing a bit away from the group and not participating in the start of the warm up. He got his phone out, calling Tessa.
Tessa heard her phone and pulled it out, Scott’s name on the display.
She answered the call. “Hey.”
“Where are you?” demanded Scott, worried about her.
“I’ll be there for the show,” said Tessa.
“You can’t just take off, T,” said Scott.
“Don’t be mad, please,” said Tessa quietly.
“I’m not mad, I’m worried about you,” said Scott.
“I’ll be back soon,” said Tessa.
“T, come on. Where are you?” he asked.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay,” said Tessa.
“You’re clearly not and I hate that you’re not opening up to me. You’re my best friend,” said Scott.
Tessa couldn’t speak for a moment, the way he cared about her was something that always touched her. She knew he’d always be there, no matter what.
“We’ll talk later, okay,” she assured him.
“Okay,” he said reluctantly, already moving towards the exit to go find her.
She should have known he’d find her. She felt his presence before she even turned to see him lean against the railing next to her as she stood looking out at the water.
“What’s going on, T?” he asked.
Tessa made the mistake of looking at him and she bit her lip, the tears threatening to fall and give her away. Scott’s thumb brushed her cheek and she realised that a tear had rolled down, despite her struggle.
“Whatever it is, we’re a team, remember?” said Scott.
Tessa nodded, unable to speak for fear that more tears would give her away.
Scott wordlessly pulled her into his embrace and she let herself relax against him, tightly holding on. After a few moments, she pulled back, turning and leaning once again on the railing. Scott kept a supportive arm on her back, trying to comfort her.
She shivered, the cool day and breeze by the water making her remember she should have dressed properly. She’d been in such a hurry to leave that she’d grabbed her coat and was only wearing a thin jumper for rehearsal underneath with her leggings.
Scott noticed her shiver and studied her, noticing that she wasn’t wearing enough layers and her jacket was unzipped.
“T, you’ll freeze,” he muttered.
He fumbled with the zip of her coat, zipping it up all the way and he took his scarf off, wrapping it around her.
“Thank you,” said Tessa quietly.
“We’re meant to be at rehearsal, T. What are you doing out here? Why did you leave?” he asked gently.
“It’s the last show,” said Tessa, shrugging.
“It’s the last show,” repeated Scott, not understanding. “Yes, it is. Is there something wrong?”
“It’s all over after this. What happens after?” asked Tessa.
“What happens after? We still have projects to work on,” said Scott.
“It’s not the same,” mumbled Tessa.
Scott waited for something to make sense, his confusion evident.
“Will we even be living in the same city?” she asked.
Scott sighed. There it was. She was voicing the same worries that were in his head. Worries he’d been trying hard to ignore. If he let himself think about those worries, they gnawed at him incessantly. He’d tried to just focus on the shows and not let those worries overcome him. It seems though that those same worries had overcome Tessa.
“We can live anywhere,” he said with a confidence he didn’t feel. He hated the thought of an upcoming separation. He was too used to being with her each day, he couldn’t imagine going weeks without seeing her.
“I’ll miss you,” admitted Tessa after a long pause. “I’ll miss my best friend.”
“We won’t miss each other because we’ll still see each other all the time,” said Scott, squeezing her arm.
Tessa shook her head, biting her lip.
“You say that but you know it isn’t true,” said Tessa.
“Fine. I’ll be doing some coaching at Gadbois, you know that. Will you be around Montreal?” he asked.
Tessa sighed. “I don’t know.”
“I’d always visit you if you’re in London,” he said.
“Not the same,” said Tessa.
She gave him a heartbroken look.
“Please don’t be sad,” he said quietly, reaching out to touch her cheek.
“I…I…love you too much. I can’t bear the thought of saying goodbye!” she said, starting to cry.
“Oh, T,” began Scott, shocked. He’d started to wonder if she too was going through what he was but hearing her confirm it – he felt like he was dreaming.
Tessa couldn’t look at him, hiding her face in her hands. Scott pulled her hands away, brushing tears from her cheeks. Seeing Tessa upset was hard for him, he couldn’t bear it. He didn’t know what came over him but suddenly his lips had crashed onto hers.
It took Tessa a moment to realise she wasn’t just dreaming. Scott was kissing her, she was kissing him. It seemed a surreal moment, she couldn’t think, she could only feel. And what she felt was beyond anything she’d ever known. All the cliché descriptions that could be given paled in comparison to reality. This wasn’t fireworks, this was an entire supernova.
She didn’t want to part from him, her fingers finding their way into his hair, Scott holding her firmly as they continued exploring each other.
“I love you too…in case it wasn’t obvious,” he murmured as they parted, both breathless.
Tessa stared at him, surprised. She’d just experienced what could only be considered a perfect kiss with him, yet it amazed her to hear him say those words. She flung herself into his arms, holding him as tightly as possible.
“There’s no too much, T. What’s too much love? Is that so bad? I love you so much, more than I knew was even possible. It’s fucking terrifying but as long as I get to see you smile, it’s okay,” said Scott.
Tessa was crying against his chest, tears of relief now flowing down her cheeks. He comforted her, his hand rubbing her back as he held her, kissing her hair and forehead, unable to reach more of her as she had buried her face against him.
“T, it’s okay, we’ve just learned something important, haven’t we?” he asked.
“We have,” agreed Tessa, pulling away slightly to look at him.
“There’s no way we’ll be apart, okay? Logistics can be worked out – most important is we love each other,” said Scott. “And Tess?” he added.
“Yeah?” said Tessa.
“Will you go out with me? Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked, a smile on his lips.
“Yes, I’d love to,” smiled Tessa.
“It doesn’t sound like enough…girlfriend…I don’t like it. You’re so much more than that,” said Scott, wrinkling his nose at the term that just seemed inadequate.
“It does, doesn’t it? You’re so much more than just a boyfriend,” said Tessa.
“I’m glad,” grinned Scott, kissing her forehead.
“Let’s get you out of the cold, eh?” he suggested.
Tessa nodded and he wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked back, smiling as Tessa wrapped both arms around his waist, snuggled as close as possible.