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“Hey Pidge.”
It was nearing midnight according to the little clock she’d built, but Pidge wasn’t surprised to hear Keith’s voice echo through Green’s hangar as he entered. Her, Shiro, and Keith probably got about five hours of sleep a night between the three of them, and it wasn’t unusual for Keith to come seek her out after exhausting himself on the training deck.
“Hey.” She didn’t even look up from her laptop, but out of her periphery she could still see the blob of red that was Keith’s jacket as he approached, lifting himself onto Green’s right paw to mimic Pidge’s position on her left.
“So, were you laughing as hard as I was when that alien princess turned Lance down?”
Pidge snickered to herself, recalling the massive spectacle Lance had made that afternoon with the visiting dignitaries from the recently rescued planet below. It was pretty hilarious when the Princess looked right over Lance’s head and blew a kiss to Allura, but Lance had been so crestfallen none of them dared to make fun of him to his face.
“Yeah, it was pretty funny. You’d think he’d have learned his lesson by now.”
“I hate it when he gets like that.” She could tell from the tone of his voice that he was making a face. “Just… why? We have more important things to be doing than flirting, ya know?”
“I definitely know. Whenever he gets that look on his face all I can think is ‘I am far too ace for this shit.’”
There’s a pause, and belatedly Pidge realizes she hadn’t technically come out to anyone on the team yet.
Whoops.
“I… think there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I can’t find it.”
Pidge finally glances over at him. He’s sitting back against Green’s leg, knees pulled to his chest. His face is still slightly red from exertion and his hair is curling at the ends, damp from sweat, but his expression is one of familiar confusion. This wasn’t the first time Keith had missed a cue or a joke. With a sigh, Pidge lifts her laptop off of her legs and sets it on the metal in front of her.
“It’s not that complicated. Ace is just short for asexual.”
“What’s that mean?”
Oh boy, here we go. Pidge took a deep breath, mentally shoring up her defenses. She’d had this conversation many, many times before, and she’d heard every possible response. She just had to be ready for whatever would come out of Keith’s mouth-- Blunt Keith, who never thought before he spoke and didn’t realize when he might be sounding rude.
“Well, you know how people are gay or straight, they experience sexual attraction to either the same or the opposite gender, right?” Keith nodded, expression open and curious, not a hint of discord as of yet. “And some people are bisexual or pansexual and like more than one, right?”
Another nod.
“Well, asexual just means you don’t feel sexual attraction at all.”
Keith blinked and frowned, but it wasn't an angry frown. It was actually rather thoughtful, like he was turning a puzzle piece around in his mind to make it fit.
“So… it’s when you just don’t like sex?”
Sigh. Patience, Pidge, patience.
“Not necessarily. Some people who are ace have sex because they like the way it feels, or they do it to please their partner. All asexual means is you don’t look at someone and think, ‘Boy they’re hot, I’d like to fuck them.’”
Keith, to her surprise, actually flinches at her words. Sick dread threatens to settle into her stomach, but she sternly ignores the feeling. Keith hadn’t actually expressed an opinion one way or another, not yet, and she wasn’t going to freak out until he did.
“I’m confused.” He admitted, raising a fist to his chest. If she looked closely she could see his thumb rubbing over his knuckles the way he’d been doing lately, ever since Pidge chewed him out for ripping his nails apart. “You said sometimes asexual people have sex to please their partner, right? But if they don’t feel sexual attraction, why would they even have a partner?”
“That’s something different, romantic attraction can be different.” Pidge fought to keep her tension out of her voice. This had to be the millionth time she explained this to people. “If you’re not aromantic, you can still want to date people and whether or not you have sex with that person is up to you. But if you’re aromantic, you might not feel romantic attraction, and if you’re both you might not feel any attraction at all.”
There’s another pause. The look on Keith’s face says he’s still turning that puzzle piece over in his mind, trying desperately to understand and fit it in somewhere.
“And that’s… a human thing?”
Pidge blinked. She’d thought after this conversation that would’ve been blatantly obvious, but sometimes Keith needed things explained to him.
“Uh, yeah. About one percent of Earth’s population identifies as somewhere on the ace spectrum.”
Keith is quiet for a moment before sneaking a look at Pidge, surprisingly shy. “And you’re ace, right?”
“Aroace, yeah.” Pidge answered with a quick bob of her head. “Around middle school, when everyone else started talking about crushes and going on dates and stuff, I realized that I just didn’t feel that way about anyone.”
Keith hunches his shoulders, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He doesn’t look disgusted, or confused, or disbelieving-- just contemplative, still worrying the edges of that puzzle piece. An idea is beginning to form in her mind, and she kind of wants to smack herself for not thinking of it sooner.
“What are you thinking, Keith?”
He inhales rather shakily and ducks his head, not looking at her. His voice is quiet when he speaks. “I just… I thought I was broken.”
Pidge’s spirit soars so quickly she feels lightheaded.
“And then I thought maybe it was a Galra thing, because none of them seem all that invested in other people, but now I’m thinking maybe…” He trails off, so Pidge takes it upon herself to finish the sentence. She doesn’t want to let this go.
“You’re thinking you might be ace.”
He nodded a bit jerkily, still sitting coiled up in his ball and not looking at Pidge. “Yeah. Maybe the other one too.”
“Aromantic?”
“Yeah, that. I don’t know, I mean--” His cheeks suddenly flush as red as his jacket. “I think guys are cute, or whatever, but the idea of actually… being with someone, and holding hands and all of that, it just doesn’t…” Here he pauses and actually shudders. “Just no.”
Pidge can’t help the grin that splits her cheeks, and she hops down from Green’s paw to rush over to Keith, pulling herself back up so that she can sit beside him. He tenses at first, especially when she throws an arm around his middle, but slowly begins to relax as she squeezes and smiles up at him.
“Dude, this is great!” She said, accompanied by a delighted giggle. “We both finally have someone we can talk to about this stuff! The ace arms of Voltron!”
Keith laughs. It’s stuttery and quiet, but it’s there, and he’s got this tiny little smile on his face, like he’d finally managed to make the puzzle piece fit where it was meant to go.
“It’s nice.” He admitted, glancing away for a half second. “Knowing.”
“Yeah, it is.” Agreed Pidge, leaning her head against his arm. “And just so you know, you’re not broken. Neither of us are.”
Keith doesn’t answer, but he does loop an arm around her shoulders and squeeze her tight to his side, and that tells Pidge everything she needs to know.