Work Text:
Io: Would you run from the cops with me?
Ryuu: iO WTF DID YOU DO THIS TIME????
Io: IT WAS A RHETORIC QUESTION I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING-
Ryuu: I'm calling Atsushi.
Io: No need for that!! On a completely unrelated note though, what would you think about moving to Switzerland? Preferably ASAP.
Ryuu: Calling Atsushi FASTER
Io: RYUU PLS I'LL PAY FOR EVERYTHING
Ryuu: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS???
Yumoto: DON'T GET DIVORCED
Atsushi: They can't get divorced they're not married
En: ten bucks says that will once they get to Switzerland
Atsushi: Enchan.
Io: If you won't move, will you at least change your name with me?
Ryuu: I think someone needs to stop commiting tax fraud
Io: SHHH DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD
Io *begging*: What will it take for you to run away with me?!
Ryuu: I just want you to stop doing illegal shit... I don't wanna get a call saying that you're in jail
Io: You won't. Do you think I'm an amateur who gets caught?
Ryuu: noT THE PROBLEM
Io: None of my plans have ever backfired!!
Ryuu: That doesn't guarantee that the others won't...
*En's in the background eating popcorn*
Ryuu: Remember that time you lost three million yen at once?
Io: Shhh. I'm older and wiser now.
Atsushi: Who needs Netflix when you can watch these two
Io: Just trust me, I've got a plan & all you gotta do is come with me. I can't do this alone!
Ryuu: Then what did you do before we met??
Yumoto: Why is IoRyuu-senpai still fighting?
Atsushi: They'll figure this out on their own
At this point En has dug up his phone and is recording the scene to show it to ioryuu's potential future children
Ryuu: But Io, I like the life we have together here...
Io: Well I already bought the plane tickets...
Ryuu: asdGFSF YOU NEED TO STOP DOING THINGS FOR US WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST
Io: WELL I TRUSTED YOU TO WANT TO BE WITH ME
Ryuu: ... Low blow, man. Low blow.
Io: Look, I know what I did. It's just... you're the only person I've ever been able to trust this much. It won't be forever, I promise!
Ryuu didn't reply because he died (inside, of love).
They went to Switzerland for a few years.
*meanwhile*
Yumoto: Are we ever gonna see IoRyuu-senpai again? :c
En: Whomst? Never heard those names before.
Atsushi: Stop that Enchan. Yes, Yumoto, they'll come back once Io gets his sh- act together.
*on the plane*
Ryuu: Are you sure we'll be fine?
Io: Don't worry, I already got us a house
Ryuu: That's not what I meant
Io: Yes, I'm using a VPN and an IP blocker for telecommunications, I speak a little French and once we land I'll get plastic surgery so I won't be recognized out of house.
Ryuu: WHAT?
Io: That was a joke, I won't leave the house.
Ryuu: Remind me why I tolerate you.
Ryuu: Does this mean I have to do all the shopping?
Io: Yes but I'm going to have to have a word with what you buy.
Ryuu: Dammit.