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Language:
English
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Published:
2014-05-17
Words:
528
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
287
Bookmarks:
16
Hits:
6,312

i was once a careless lover (now I love mostly undercover)

Summary:

The second time he tells her he loves her, it’s different

But it is also the same.

Work Text:

The second time he tell her he loves her, it’s different.

The city isn’t burning. There are no hidden cameras. No Slade Wilson, no grand ruse.

But it is also the same.

His eyes glisten with tears he is determined not to let fall. His voice cracks on a whisper. The look on his face is so eerily similar to what it was that night, she feels a phantom pain that starts in her throat and travels down to her chest.

‘I know, you don’t…you need to believe me. You need to know why’

He’s holding an envelope stuffed with multiple pieces of paper varying in size and color

‘I started writing these that summer, after Slade. I was so…I couldn’t tell you, then. But I knew I would. I wanted you to know’.

She can’t stop staring. At him, at the envelope, back at him.

Real or not real.

It feels real, but the first time felt real too (it wasn’t).

He’s handing her one of the pieces of paper, his familiar ridiculously tiny scrawl covering less than half the page.

‘Read this one first’.

When her eyes are able to focus on the paper, she starts reading.

Felicity,
I love you.
I meant it.
I’m sorry for any pain it might have caused you. I know you thought it wasn’t real.
I don’t know what else to say. I love you.

She reads it at least 10 times before she notices she’s crying, notices the drops staining the paper.

He doesn’t speak, simply passes her another piece of paper, this one is smaller and written with a blue pen.

Felicity,
I love you.
I love your voice. You sing, sometimes, when you have your headphones in.
I want to hear you sing, really sing, for me. Someday.

 

Felicity,
I love you.
Thank you. For everything.

 

Felicity,
I love you.
Sometimes you look at me and I could swear you know. I want you to know. I want to know what you’re thinking.
I think you love me. I’m afraid you’ll stop before I tell you I love you too.

 

Felicity,
I love you.
You talked to me about your dad today. He contacted you because he saw you on the news, with me (another in the long list of things I apologize for). I could tell there was part of you that wanted to give him a second chance, and I fell in love with you again. He is scum, Felicity, and he hurt you, but you still believe there is something good in him.
I guess he’s like me in that way.
Neither of us deserve you.

 

There are so many letters, each of them chipping away at the doubt and pain and just disbelief that surrounds those 3 little words.

She reads every single one.

He watches her.

When she’s read the last one, she looks at him through tear stained eyes.

‘OH’

It’s the same thing she said the first time he said ‘I Love You’.

It’s different this time. Now she’s smiling.

 

He loves her and she loves him. They tell each other, but more often they show each other.