Chapter Text
“Wait!”
All of Jeno’s dreams have been the same for over a week now. They started off the same, with a blurry scene occurring around him before fading to black. That was the clearest part. His eyes opened, welcoming him into what seemed to be a universe full of darkness. Looking down, there was water. In front of him was a light that, for some reason, he knew he had to catch.
He put his hand out and, just as he saw the light illuminate his fingertips, it shot forward. Jeno immediately ran after it. He ran as fast as his legs could take him, until his heart felt like it would rip out of his chest. The light never came closer. The water did begin to engulf and swallow him, though. It consumed him until he could feel the pressure squeezing the air out of his lungs.
So when he woke up, he was gasping for air. It all felt too real.
Jeno sat up as he heaved, looking around with wide eyes to take in his surroundings. He put his hands down on either side of himself and felt his sleeping bag on the floor. Renjun’s floor. Sighing, he closed his eyes for a moment. He was at a sleepover.
“You okay?” A tired voice next to him whispered. It was Jisung, his younger friend who was towering over him in height already.
Jeno nodded. “Yeah, I think so. Just a bad dream.”
His eyes gave one more quick sweep across the room just so he could reassure his mind that he was safe. He wasn’t drowning and there was no light he was chasing. Sliding down into his sleeping bag, he adjusted his pillow underneath his head and sighed. Jisung was already snoring again, which oddly made Jeno relieved. He didn’t want to tell his friends about the dreams that have been torturing him, they would only worry and ask questions that Jeno didn’t know the answers to.
-
“Why the hell did we decide to have a sleepover on a school night?” Renjun asked as he stared into space with blank eyes. He looked dead inside, which would make sense considering he had decided to chug an entire energy drink the night before.
“Well, Renjunnie,” Haechan started obnoxiously, waving his plastic fork in the air after eating a strawberry. Haechan never used nicknames unless he was trying to flirt (this was very common) or he was picking a fight. “It was your genius idea since you decided that you would rather study over the weekend.” He scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out, making Mark sigh next to him.
“I have an exam Monday!” Renjun retorted, suddenly wide awake.
Before Haechan could mock him some more, Mark narrowed his eyes, which immediately made Haechan clear his throat as if he was stopping himself. “Give me one of those.” Mark said, reaching for one of Haechan’s strawberries.
“You literally just ate your own fruit bowl.”
“Yeah, so? I want one of your fruits now.”
“The school only gives us so much, fatass!”
Mark whined. “How am I a fatass? I’m eating fruit!”
“ My fruit.”
Jeno sighed and looked at the empty seat next to him. There were seven chairs at their table, and it seemed like a little meaningless detail but he wondered why one was empty. Six people in his friend group, one extra chair. As far as he knew, the seventh chair had always been there. Shaking his head, he looked back at his friends just in time to see Haechan leaning in to kiss Mark’s cheek and Mark trying to shove him away. They made up fast.
“Jeno!” Renjun snapped a finger in front of Jeno’s face, making him jump. “What’s up with you? You’re out of it.”
Rubbing his eyes, Jeno turned his head to look at Renjun. Renjun was his best and closest friend, so it made sense to hear so much concern in his voice. “Sorry. Just really sleepy, I guess.” He offered the other a small smile, and he felt relieved when Renjun let out a breath of laughter.
“You and me both!” Renjun patted Jeno on the back, laughing as he returned to eating his food and yawning between bites.
Jeno smiled, glancing at the empty chair once more out of the corner of his eyes. There was an emptiness there, and he didn’t know why it was bothering him so much. Maybe it was the fact that everything seemed off. As soon as the dreams started, he felt like he somehow had stepped into another universe. It wasn’t just the empty seat at lunch, it was the empty house next to his, and the fact that he walked home alone when he felt like someone should be with him.
That’s why he asked Renjun to walk home with him after school.
“I can’t believe you asked me to study. You don’t even have an exam coming up and you get perfect grades regardless.” Renjun gave Jeno a playful nudge with his elbow.
Jeno laughed, his eyes making their famous crescent shape as he did. “Exactly! I’m super smart so I’m gonna help you not be super dumb.” He nodded firmly and kicked a small rock that was blocking his path as the two walked down the sidewalk.
“Please.” Renjun snorted.
Renjun began babbling on about how he was a genius and how he himself taught Einstein everything he knew. Jeno blocked most of it out, though. He had learned to just nod along while Renjun talked like that. As the two approached his house, he looked at the vacant house next to his own and pursed his lips when noticing the large ‘SOLD!’ sign across the garage. New neighbors.
Jeno sat on the edge of his bed after walking up the stairs to his bedroom, Renjun trailing behind. He was still going on about his intellectual mind.
“And that is why I am smarter than you will ever be.” Renjun finally halted and sat on the floor in front of Jeno’s bed, digging through his bag. “Oh, fuck. I left my textbook in my locker.”
Jeno let out a loud laugh, earning a glare from his best friend. “Wow, you’re so smart, Renjun. Really.”
Before Renjun could raise a hand to threaten Jeno, the bedroom door cracked open and he put his arm down. It was Jeno’s mom, and Renjun had her completely convinced that he was an innocent angel.
“Oh, are you two studying today?” She asked with a smile. Her smile was genuine and showed exactly where Jeno got his own eye catching grin from. “I just wanted to let you know, Jeno, that we have new neighbors moving in soon. I want your help baking something for them as soon as they arrive!”
Jeno nodded. His mom was extremely kind and extremely gullible, which is why she thought even Haechan was a ‘sweet little boy’. “Sure, mom.”
She nodded, looking at Renjun. “Do you want any snacks, sweetie?”
“No thanks, Mrs. Lee. I brought my own lunch to school today so I’m full.” Renjun said with a wide smile plastered across his face that made Jeno snort.
“Okay, just let me know.” She gave a little wave before leaving the room, gently shutting the door behind her.
“You’re so full of shit.” Jeno threw a pillow at Renjun, laughing even as Renjun stood up and raised a fist. A rather small fist.
“Shut your mouth.” Renjun threatened with a glare before bursting into laughter and flopping back down onto his spot on the floor, grabbing Jeno’s bookbag so he could steal his textbook.
-
It was the same dream again. At least, it started almost the same.
The scene around him was a little clearer. He was sitting on the edge of the driveway in front of someone’s house, and he could hear crickets around him along with the distant sound of the city. The air was chilly enough to make him shiver whenever a gust of wind blew past him, making him wonder why the hell he wasn’t wearing a jacket.
Jeno felt like he was waiting for someone; although he didn’t know why and he didn’t know who. It didn’t feel like he was waiting on Renjun to show up. Shaking his head, he looked up at the sky. The stars were bright and he smiled to himself. This was the most peaceful dream yet.
The sound of footsteps suddenly approaching him snapped him out of his daydream. However, the footsteps didn’t startle him. It was like he was expecting them, and he was familiar with their weight as they came closer.
“Jeno.” A voice called out, and suddenly it was like the dark sky had fallen and wrapped itself around him. He was suddenly in that same, black endless expanse.
“No.” Jeno whispered and blinked away tears. He felt sad. He felt alone and he didn’t know why as the light appeared in front of him again. Reaching out with a shaky hand, almost as if he had no control over his movements, he tried to touch the light. It immediately darted away and so he ran. He let his feet carry him across the water until it started to rise. He was drowning again and he couldn’t reach what he was running toward.
Gasping for air as he jolted awake from his sleep, Jeno threw his covers off of himself. He was sweating bullets and there were tears staining his cheeks. “What the hell?” He whispered, looking around his dark room. He hated the dark now.
Turning on his lamp, he got up from his bed and put his glasses on before sleepily dragging his feet over to his window. Pulling the curtains aside and opening the blinds, he took in a deep breath as the moonlight and city lights poured into his room. Looking over a little, he noticed a car pulled into the neighboring house’s driveway. There were two people unloading boxes, and he raised an eyebrow. “They’re moving in rather late.” He mumbled.
-
Jeno tried to catch up on his sleep during school the next day. He knew his grades could afford it, and he also knew he sure as hell needed rest. Luckily, the teachers woke him before the dreams could take their darker turn. He didn’t have as clear as a dream as he did the night before, though. They were all blurry and the sounds were fuzzy.
He walked to the nearby ice cream shop with his friends after class instead of heading home. He had insisted on going home and taking a nap, but Chenle repeatedly argued that the new ice cream flavor was ‘so good it slaps’.
Jeno silently ate his oreo ice cream. He got his in a bowl, arguing that it wasn’t as messy as a cone. Haechan and Mark were weird, though. They would share a large cone of three scoops (different flavors), not caring if they licked from the same spot. It didn’t surprise Jeno much, though, considering he’d slept next to them at sleepovers before and heard their tiny kisses and giggles.
It was supposed to be a secret that they were a thing, but no one bought it.
“I told you, it’s good!” Chenle punched Jisung’s arm as Jisung tried the new cotton candy flavor before scrunching his nose. Chenle frowned at this.
Jisung, noticing Chenle’s pout, immediately plastered a smile on his face. “It’s delicious!” He exclaimed before going in for another spoonful. This made Chenle smile, which of course meant Jisung felt better.
It was safe to say that Jeno felt a wave of relief when Renjun showed up, sitting next to him after ordering his ice cream. “Renjun to the rescue!”
Renjun and Jeno were the only two in the group to not have a thing with each other. Chenle and Jisung made them roll their eyes at their obvious puppy love, while Mark and Haechan made their feelings so painfully obvious it made everyone cringe. Jeno argued that he just wasn’t looking for a relationship, and everyone knew Renjun had a crush on someone in his calculus class. Besides, that would be weird.
“Thank god you showed up. I was feeling like a..” Jeno pursed his lips as if he was counting in his head. “Fifth wheel?”
“I don’t know if that’s how it works, but you’re welcome.” Renjun thanked the worker once they brought his bowl of ice cream over. He immediately dug into it with his spoon as if he hadn’t seen ice cream in ages. “Fuck, this is good.”
“See, Jisung? Renjun likes it!” Chenle whined to Jisung, and Jisung whined back. “I like it, too!”
Mark and Haechan were only quiet because they were too busy whispering to each other while sharing their germ-infested ice cream cone. Jeno wasn’t complaining, though. He loved them but their bickering gave him a headache sometimes.
Jeno looked at the spot on the other side of him, and immediately sighed. It was another empty spot. “Do you guys feel like someone’s missing all the time?”
Everyone grew quiet, except for Haechan.
“Oh, Jeno.” Haechan sighed with concern, smiling mischievously as he reached across the table to touch Jeno’s arm in a way that was supposed to be comforting. “Are you lonely? You know I offered to set you up with Yukhei, but you-”
“Shut up!” Jeno groaned and pulled his arm back. “I’m not lonely. I just feel like someone is supposed to be here.”
Haechan nodded. “Okay! When I call your name, say ‘here’!”
Haechan cleared his throat before sitting up straight.
“Mark?” “Here.”
“Jisung?” “Here.”
“Chenle?” “Here.”
“Renjun?” “Here.”
“Haechan? Here.”
“Jeno?”
Jeno was glaring at Haechan from across the table, and Haechan felt himself leaning into Mark’s side when noticing this. “Can you take me seriously for once in your life?” Jeno begged, sticking his spoon in the ice cream he didn’t really have an appetite for anymore. “I haven’t gotten good sleep in weeks and the last thing I need is for you to add to my headache-”
“Whoa, calm down.” Mark frowned. He was frustrated, but he didn’t let it show. He was usually the mediator whenever there was an argument or a disagreement, which was perfect for them. “Haechan was just joking. If you don’t feel well and you haven’t gotten any sleep, why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I knew you would act like this!” Jeno snapped. He was angry, and he opened his mouth to speak again before Renjun touched his arm in a calming manner.
Haechan frowned, and Jeno immediately felt bad. He knew Haechan didn’t have bad intentions and that he just wanted to make everyone laugh. His nickname was ‘Full Sun’ for a reason. “Look,” Haechan started with a more serious voice this time, “I’m sorry. What do you mean someone’s missing?”
“I-” Jeno felt his heart drop. He knew exactly what he meant but he couldn’t explain the emptiness everywhere. “I don’t know. I just- I’ve been having bad dreams lately, okay? And I just notice that everywhere around me, there’s an empty spot like someone should be there.” Jeno looked at the empty chair again. “Forget it. I just need sleep.”
Mark glanced around at everyone as if reading their expressions so that he would get an idea of what everyone wanted to say but didn’t know how to. “Maybe you’re just stressed. We’re all seniors now, so there’s a lot going on for each of us.” He was speaking gently, which soothed Jeno a bit. “Your subconscious is afraid of losing us, maybe? Once we all graduate, I mean?”
Haechan frowned at that. He knew Mark talked about going back to Canada for college, and he didn’t like the idea for reasons that everyone pretended not to know.
“What I mean is,” Mark started as he wrapped an arm around Haechan’s shoulders, keeping his eyes on Jeno. “We’re here for you, okay? All of us are here and no one is missing. It’ll always be like that.”
Nodding, Jeno smiled a little. Mark had a way of making each of them feel better. That’s why he was named as their leader years ago.
-
When Jeno got home and walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, he paused in his steps. There was a basket full of cookies on the counter with a note next to it.
‘Jeno, I was called into work so I won’t be back until morning. Take these to our new neighbors, please! Love, mom.’ The note read.
Blinking, Jeno put the note aside and stared at the basket. Great , he thought. He knew this would be awkward. His mom was known in their neighborhood (or possibly in the entire city) for being so kind. That meant that when it came to greeting new neighbors, she usually did the talking while he hung back or just stayed at home. Now he had to gather both his social skills and his courage just to deliver cookies.
Jeno, however, was not expecting a handsome boy in his twenties to open the door. He shuffled his feet awkwardly, clutching the basket of cookies in both hands. “H-Hi” His voice cracked and he swore at himself in his mind.
The boy chuckled and looked over his shoulder. “Jaemin, I think our neighbor has something for us!” He called before stepping to the side to allow Jeno to walk inside their freshly furnished home. “My name’s Jaehyun. I live here with my younger brother who’s probably about your age.”
“I’m Jeno.” Jeno wanted to give a little wave, but his hands were occupied with the basket. Why a basket, mom? Why couldn’t you just put them in a bag or something?
His thoughts were interrupted as he looked toward the staircase when hearing hurried footsteps. He caught his breath in his throat while looking at the boy who was now standing in front of him.
He was pretty.
The boy smiled, and Jeno swore he saw him glow for a moment.
Jaehyun awkwardly cleared his throat and took the basket of cookies out of Jeno’s tight grasp. “I’ll let you two introduce yourselves. Thanks for the cookies, Jeno.” He chuckled and walked towards the kitchen.
“I’m Jeno.” Jeno’s throat was dry and he put a hand out toward the boy with round eyes and a pretty smile.
The pretty boy laughed as he shook the hand between them. “My name’s Jaemin. It’s nice to meet you, Jeno.”
Jeno did not expect to be standing awkwardly in the middle of the boy’s- Jaemin’s room five minutes later. The other was extremely friendly and had absolutely no issue talking his head off. That made it easy for Jeno, though.
“So, I can walk to school with you if you want.” Jaemin sat on his bed, crossing his legs underneath him and looking up at Jeno. Jeno honestly didn’t hear anything Jaemin said before that.
“Oh, yeah. Okay.” Jeno nodded. He was fiddling with his fingers, a habit he had when nervous. “I usually walk by myself, so that would be nice.”
Nodding, Jaemin smiled and looked around his room. “Sorry my room is kind of plain. I haven’t finished decorating yet and Jaehyun won’t buy me the fairy lights I’ve been begging for.” He looked back at Jeno just in time to catch his gaze before Jeno’s eyes darted somewhere else. Jaemin chuckled.
“You’re so stiff.” Jaemin said, patting the spot next to him on his bed. “Come here.”
“What?”
“Sit next to me. I’m not gonna attack you.”
Jeno pursed his lips, hesitantly walking forward and crawling onto Jaemin’s bed. He sat next to him and got comfortable, but he didn’t sit too close.
“Tell me about yourself, Jeno.” Jaemin was turning to face Jeno and he had the brightest smile on his face. Jeno blinked, looking over Jaemin’s face and feeling a little bit of heat rush to his cheeks.
“Uh, what do you want to know?”
Jaemin pouted. “Whatever you want to tell me, I guess. I can find out more as we become friends.”
Become friends ? Jeno raised an eyebrow. This kid was definitely friendly. “Okay,” Jeno started, glancing around the room, “I like cats.”
“That’s it?”
“I’m allergic to them, though.”
“Oh. You could get one of the hairless ones though, right?”
“Yeah, I guess I could.”
“What else?”
“I used to play basketball. I stopped because I sucked.” Jeno admitted. He jumped a little when Jaemin bursted into laughter, but he found himself laughing too.
Jaemin touched his cheeks as if he was trying to massage the pain out of them from laughing too hard. “So you aren’t sporty.” He nodded. “What weather do you like?”
“Is this an interview?” Jeno chuckled.
“I’m just curious!” Jaemin whined and playfully shoved Jeno’s arm. “I like it when the sun’s out but it’s a little chilly. Now, what do you like?”
Jeno pursed his lips. He never really thought about his favorite weather. He knew his favorite season, but he never found himself complaining over the clouds or sun. “I like that too. The rain is nice sometimes, I think.”
Jaemin smiled as if he was happy with that response. “Awesome. What kind of movies do you like?” He was reaching for his remote to turn the TV on that sat on his dresser across from his bed. “We can watch one and hang out here if you want.”
“I’m not too picky.” Jeno shrugged. In truth, though, he really did enjoy horror movies. Jaemin only nodded, scrolling down to the horror section as if he read Jeno’s mind.
Jeno learned a lot about his new neighbor that night.
First of all, he hadn’t complained about watching horror movies but he was jumpy and Jeno swore he heard Jaemin whine like a puppy whenever he got scared. Second, he really liked candy. He had a stash of different assortments of candies next to his bed that he offered to Jeno, and Jeno denied because it was too late for candy. Third, Jaemin was clingy. Physically clingy. By the end of the movie Jaemin had his arms wrapped tightly around Jeno’s waist and he was glued to his side. Jeno didn’t really know how to react.
He didn’t complain until the movie was over and Jaemin fell asleep attached to him.
The situation reminded Jeno of sleepovers with his friends. They never clung onto him like this, but sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and Jisung would have a long leg thrown over him so that he couldn’t move or even roll over.
“Jaemin?” Jeno wiggled around in an attempt to gently wake Jaemin, but the boy didn’t budge. He stared down at him, chuckling to himself while thinking that this was the most quiet Jaemin has been since he had met him just hours ago.
Jaemin was really pretty, though. That’s what Jeno kept thinking. They were about the same height so it was easy for Jeno to take in Jaemin’s appearance whenever he looked at him. He had dark brown hair long enough for the ends of his fringe to touch his very long eyelashes. Speaking of his eyelashes, Jeno couldn’t get over how pretty they were on his cheeks as he slept.
Clearing his throat, Jeno took himself out of his thoughts and gently held onto Jaemin’s arms, unwinding them from around his thin waist. “Goodnight.” He whispered once he managed to escape from Jaemin’s embrace. Grabbing a throw blanket from the bed, he placed it around Jaemin, careful not to wake him so that he could take his leave from his bedroom.
As Jeno walked the few meters towards his own home, he glanced back at Jaemin and Jaehyun’s house, smiling. He couldn’t wait to introduce him to the others.