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Jean-Luc noticed when Beverly cut her hair. It was three months after her husband, his best friend Jack Crusher, had passed away in a tragic accident. He had complimented her on the new cut and colour and she had smiled with tears in her eyes when she thanked him. Later, after Wesley had gone to bed and the two friends were cuddling on the sofa, he asked her why she cut it and she had broken down, saying that looking at her hair in the mirror made her think of Jack and how he had loved her long hair. Jean-Luc stroked her hair and held her while she wept, and after she fell asleep against him he carried her to her bedroom, gently kissed her forehead, and tucked her in. He climbed into bed beside her and pulled her tight against his chest and held her as she slept.
Five month after Jack’s untimely death, he came to visit Beverly amidst stacks of boxes. “What are you doing?”
“Packing up Jack’s things. I can’t...I can’t bear to look at them anymore.” He frowned, but nodded in understanding. He had packed up all of Jack’s belongings on the Stargazer several months ago.
“Do you want any help?”
“Do you know what was in the boxes from his quarters on the ship?” He nodded. “I packed them myself and wrote everything down as it went into boxes. Why?”
“Just wondering if there was anything in them we need to keep.” Jean-Luc went to her computer console in the corner and accessed his private files. He perused the list. “Uniforms and other clothing in the first box, some photos and other sentimental items in the second, and the third box has books...I made a list of the books for you, too.” She grinned. “How organized, Captain. The uniform box can go straight to the recycling center unless you think there was anything important in there. The sentimental stuff....” she frowned. She should probably keep it and even look through the box, but she just didn’t have the energy to handle it. Jean-Luc patted her shoulder.
“I’ll put it in my storage unit. When you’re ready, it will be there.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks. What about the books?”
“A few novels and some reference books. Unless you think Wesley might be interested in Stellar Cartography, I think you can safely get rid of them, too.” Beverly nodded. “Thanks. That helps.” She held up a copy of a book and laughed. “Remember this?”
“How could I forget? Jack, Walker, and I were on shore leave when he spotted it in a shop. We tried to tell him not to get it for you, but he insisted.” Beverly opened the book to show where Jack had hollowed out the pages. “He put the ring box inside. I nearly threw the book at him.” She hugged the book close and let out a heavy sigh. “Put this in the box of sentiments? Wesley might want to hear the story some day....”
“Of course.” Jean-Luc gently took the book, How to Advance Your Career Through Marriage, and placed it in the box by his feet and gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Jack loved you. Remember that.” She snorted. “Yeah. Loved me enough to not listen to you when you told him not to go out.” Jean-Luc hung his head. “I’m sorry. Bev. I tried.”
“I know. I listened to the recorded comms.” She leaned against him. “I just don’t understand why he went out. Did he know it would be suicide?” Jean-Luc shrugged. “We knew it would be dangerous, but I don’t think he went out there deliberately to end his life if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No. At least, I don’t think that’s what I’m asking....” Jean-Luc gave her a one-armed hug. “Why don’t we take a break?”
“Yeah, I could do with a cup of tea.” He grinned. “Maman always said –“
“There’s no problem that can’t be solved with a cup of tea,” they said in unison.
Jean-Luc continued to help Beverly pack and sort through Jack’s items until Wesley came home from school. “Can I take you both out to dinner tonight?” Wesley’s eyes lit up.
“Can we have pizza?” Jean-Luc ruffled Wesley’s hair. “If your mom agrees.” Beverly gave her consent and after a quick shower for each of the adults, they were soon out enjoying the evening with Wesley. Wesley wanted to go to the pizza place that had an arcade and so Jean-Luc spent the evening learning how to play various holo-video games while Beverly laughed at their antics.
Jean-Luc spent the rest of his weekend when he wasn’t entertaining Wesley ferrying boxes back and forth from Beverly’s home to the recycling center, his storage unit, and her own storage unit. By the end of the weekend, it was as if Jack had never lived in Beverly’s house. Beverly sighed when she looked at the empty half of the closet and Jean-Luc wrapped an arm around her. “What am I going to do with all this space?”
“Remodel?” Beverly smacked his chest. “Funny. But seriously, I don’t know what to do with all this empty space. The closet, the dresser....my life,” the last word came out softly and Jean-Luc wanted nothing more than to gather his best friend closer and tell her he loved her, but he restrained himself. Instead he settled for giving her a kiss on her cheek. “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”
When Jean-Luc arrived eight months after Jack’s death, he arrived to Beverly openly weeping on the sofa while Wesley was at a friend’s house. Jean-Luc knelt on the floor in front of her and asked her what was wrong.
“My rings.” He pushed her hair out of her face and brushed her tears away with the pad of his thumb. “What about them, sweetheart?”
“I had to take them off. I’m not,” she paused and took a shuddering breath, “I’m not really married anymore, am I?”
“I....” Jean-Luc had no idea what to tell her. Technically, she was a widow, and would be free to pursue relationships and a second marriage if she wanted as Jack’s death would have severed their marriage vows...but he didn’t think she wanted to hear that right now. “Jack loved you,” he settled on. “He would understand...but if you’re not ready to remove them, don’t. Wear them for as long as you want. Who said you had to remove them?”
“Elsabet. She said I should remove them since he’s dead,” Beverly said flatly, referring to one of her friends and the mother of Wesley’s best friend. Jean-Luc shook his head. “Where are they?”
“In my jewellery box on my dresser.” Jean-Luc rose and squeezed her hand. “Be right back.” Jean-Luc rummaged around in her jewellery box and retrieved the simple gold band from her wedding and the solitaire Jack had given her eight years prior tucked inside the silly book. Jean-Luc picked up an empty chain in her jewellery box, and he threaded the rings onto the chain. He found Beverly in the same position he left her in, so he gently pried open her hand and dropped the chain onto her palm. “Why don’t you wear them around your neck? You can tuck it under your uniform and no one has to know they’re there. Then, you can remove them when you feel ready.”
“Thank you.” Jean-Luc kissed her forehead. “Of course.”
When Jean-Luc arrived eleven months after Jack’s death, Beverly had clearly not been taking care of herself. Her hair was matted, and she looked as if she hadn’t taken a shower in several days. When he enquired about Wesley, she had shrugged. “He’s with Elsabet. He won’t be home for a few hours.” she let out a nervous laugh. “I must look a fright.”
“Shh, you’re beautiful. Do you want me to run a bath for you?” She nodded. Jean-Luc picked her favourite bubbles and filled the bathtub. He gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. “Go. Indulge. I’ll get Wesley his dinner when he gets home, and put him to bed. After, I’ll make you Maman’s special ratatouille. Do you want me to get you anything to drink? Wine? Or a cup of tea?”
“A cup of tea would be nice.”
“I’ll bring it to you.” Five minutes later, Jean-Luc was knocking on the bathroom door. “Bev? Sweetheart? I have your tea....I didn’t really think this through, did I?” He could hear Beverly laughing through the door. “It’s fine, everything is under bubbles. Come in.” He grinned and opened the door. His breath hitched when he looked at Beverly in the bubbles and he quickly looked away.
“Uhm...I, ah, brought you your tea?” Beverly rolled her eyes. “I’m under bubbles, Jean-Luc. It’s ok to look at me.” He slowly raised his head to look at her face. “Sorry. I’ll leave your tea and get out of here.”
“Jean-Luc...I don’t want to be alone.” Tears filled Beverly’s eyes and she shook off the bubbles from her hand to swipe at her eyes.
“Alright, I can stay and talk to you until Wes gets home if you’d like.” Jean-Luc knelt on the bathmat in front of the tub. “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want to be alone. Jack and I...we were supposed to be forever. Raise Wesley together, maybe have another child...grow old together...and I can’t...I don’t think I can do this on my own.”
“You can. You’re strong. And...you have me. Walker. Elsabet...we’re all here for you.”
“But you’re not...I mean...we cuddle on the sofa, occasionally kiss, and you sleep in my bed when you’ve been visiting me, but...”
“But what, Bev?” Beverly sat up straighter in the tub, bringing her breasts out of bubbles. Jean-Luc averted his eyes. “See?! You won’t look at me!”
“I’m just giving you the respect you deserve,” he said to the floor.
“Look at me.”
“Bev, please...sweetheart....”
“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me. I want you to look at me!” Jean-Luc raised his head and his eyes roamed over her breasts before he looked at her face. She was beautiful when she was angry and frustrated. He wanted to tell her, but he was afraid to.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had sex?!” Beverly slammed her fist into the water and sent a spray of water at Jean-Luc.
“Well...Jack and I had shore leave a few months before he...”
“It’s been well over a year, Jean-Luc! How long has it been for you?!”
“Er....”
“Don’t answer that, but I bet it’s been more recent than me!” Beverly scowled at Jean-Luc. It had been far longer since Jean-Luc had slept with anyone, but he didn’t feel as if now was the time to tell Beverly that his last sexual partner had been over five years ago.
“Beverly,” he spoke quietly, “are you asking me to sleep with you?”
“Yes! No. I don’t know! Do you want to?” She took a sip of her tea and resisted smiling. He had made her favourite blend of green tea mixed with black.
“I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it.” He reached for a bubble covered hand. “I just...well, you are my best friend...you were married to my best friend, so I just...”
“Stopped thinking about it?”
“More like I put my feelings aside for the sake of our friendship.” Beverly guided his hand to her breast and rested it there. “Jean-Luc, Jack’s dead.”
“I know.” His hand closed around her breast and she closed her eyes as he gently massaged. “Beverly...if all you want is release I will give you that, but I warn you, I might want something more.” Her eyes opened and she licked her lips.
“More?” He nodded. “Beverly, I don’t think I would be able to let you go and be a one night fling. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.” He leaned over the bath and captured her lips in a slow kiss. Beverly lifted both her arms out of the bath and snaked them around Jean-Luc’s shoulders and kissed him back. “Your uniform is getting wet.”
“You have a dryer. Besides, I don’t need it until Monday.” She grinned against his lips. “Help me out of the tub?” Jean-Luc slid an arm under her legs in the water and lifted her into his arms. He kissed her again and stood her on the bathmat. He gently dried her off with a fluffy towel and she laughed as she tried to remove his uniform. She dragged down the zip on the jumpsuit and laughed again. “Well, I guess we know why Starfleet changed the uniform style.”
“Indeed,” Jean-Luc kissed her before he released her to remove his jumpsuit and boots. “Better?”
“Much.” She reached for his hand and tugged him out into her bedroom. She began to pull down his shorts, and he rested his hands on hers. “Beverly...last chance...are you absolutely sure this is what you want? Do you want to sleep with me and have a relationship with me? See where this takes us?” She nodded and slowly finished tugging off his shorts.
“Jean-Luc, I’ve fallen in love with you over the past few months. I didn’t know what I was going to do if you didn’t return my feelings. Yes. Please. Make love to me.” He crushed their bodies together and they fell back onto the bed amidst laughter and smiles.