Work Text:
Hoseok spun around. His shoes squeaked on the wooden floor as sweat was pouring down his neck. He grimaced as he watched his movements in the mirror. A head nod here, some footwork there. It was off by a half beat. It had been two hours they had been at it. His white shirt was uncomfortably sticking to his toned stomach, his sweat making the skin underneath quite visible. The other boys took a short break and went to sit on the side, grabbing their water bottles and making small conversation. But not Hoseok. He had to get it right, he had to get it perfect. He was the main dancer of the group, yet he couldn’t get this simple move correct. Jeongguk has gotten it long ago, even taking the time to help to help out Jimin. Jimin was on the cusp of getting it. His movements smoother than Hoseok’s, more graceful, more timed.
“Hey, Seok. I think it’s time you’ve taken a break. You’re going to exhaust yourself. Namjoon, Yoongi, Tae, and Jin are heading back to the complex, you should join them,” Jeongguk said between gulps if water. “Jimin and I are going to stay to practice a bit longer, but you could definitely use a break. You’ve been going nonstop, I know it’s good to push yourself, but this—” Jungkook waved his hand in a circle. “This is too much. It’s not good for your health. You need to relax.”
Hoseok’s blood boiled in his veins. He refused to give up. He couldn’t give up. He had to be as confident in his dance as Jeongguk and Jimin. Recently his fire had fizzled out to coals. “No. I can’t. I need to get this right. Please let me just do that, at least.” His voice had cracked, but at this point he didn’t care. He needed to push himself until he either passed out or he had gotten it down perfectly.
Jeongguk studies his hyung. His eyes follow a bead of sweat as it slid down Hoseok’s forehead and onto his chin. Jeongguk knows that he should show concern for the elder, but he can’t help but feel that it would only make things worse. The two made eye contact for a while before Jeongguk slides his hand through his hair and sighs.
A simple nod is all it takes, Jeongguk finally gave in. Hoseok looks over his dongsaeng, with a pressed smile formed on his face. “Thanks, Kook.” Hoseok then shakily walked towards his bag, watching his movements in the mirror from the corner of his eye. He could see the bulge of his abdomen under his sweaty shirt. Each individual muscle was defined. He hated it.
It had been several hours later, Hoseok was no closer to getting the movement down. If he was being honest, it seemed further away from his progress before. Jeongguk could see the frustration in the way Hoseok’s body was tense and the grimace on his face. Eventually, Jeongguk had finally convinced Hoseok to let him drive him and Jimin home.
As soon as he had gotten back to the complex, he ran towards his room. Seokjin looked at the man in surprise. As Hoseok sped past him, he had accidentally tripped into him. “Sorry, Jin-ah.” Hoseok mumbled and was on his way once again.
Seokjin called after him. “Hey! Hoseok, did everything go fine after we left? Do you need anything?” But Hoseok was already hurriedly closing his door.
His chest rising and falling rapidly, Hoseok turned towards his mirror. His eyes scanned all along his body in the dirty reflection. The light from his window was the only thing that seemed bright in the atmosphere. Dust floated around in the smal sunpatch, and Hoseok stared at the dust on the mirror as well. How long had it been since he’d cleaned the mirror? How long since he had been happy with what he saw frowning back at him? He didn’t know the answer, and that was depressing. Hoseok hated having his self-pity parties, but really, he couldn’t share it with anyone else. It didn’t make sense to him why he was uncomfortable in his own skin, he had very defined muscles that many men would envy, so why did he feel like throwing up every time he saw them? Shouldn’t he be very proud of them? His abdomen muscles took very hard work and dedication, so shouldn’t he be able to look at them and see how his hard work paid off?
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and turned away from the mirror. Favouring his bed, he fell face first into the soft mattress. Sleep was always a welcome distraction.