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The alleyway was dirty, trash had collected here and there, muddy puddles from last night’s rainfall were still present in the pot holes and the walls had been tattooed over the years with countless graffiti. It was no place for a child but that is where he was, it was his playground, his oasis, his haven.
Hawks was only five, had just turned five, he reminded himself very proudly. The sultry city summer was drawing to a close and the promise of school and a new world was waiting for him, escape, freedom, new horizons. His mother was having another one of her bad days and it seemed to her that five was the age when you could turn a child lose. After all he was going to go to school in a few more weeks, he could certainly play outside and not nag her.
So, he had been shoved out of the tiny apartment and into the hallway that always smelled like onions and sweat. She had looked at him tiredly, running hands through pale green hair that hadn’t been brushed or washed in a week. “Just don’t go far, when it gets dark, come back.” With that the door was shut in his face.
She didn’t bother to consider that the public housing they were in was notorious for crime and drugs. That they currently lived on the seventh floor of a walk up and there was no yard, no park, nothing even green within a three-block radius. She just wanted him out of the small space so she could take a nap, so she could try and recover from the hangover of indulging in cheap whiskey the night before.
Years later Hawks would look back on this time as some of the best and worst of his life. He couldn’t really blame his mother. If anything, he felt bad for her. She had only been sixteen when he was born. It had all been too much for her. Her family, already poor to begin with had kicked her out of the house. His father had only been a fleeting figure, coming and going at odd times and usually only bringing pain with him. When he would show up, his mother would glow, hoping that maybe this time, she could have the normal family dream. It might last for a day, at most three, then the fights would start and he would storm out. After he left, she would fall into a deep depression, hardly moving from the couch. At a young age, he learned to take care of himself, to the best of his abilities. And as he got older, he ended up taking care of her.
These few precious years were also the best, he had freedom. A freedom he would soon lose to a corporation that ended up taking over his life when he was seven. But this time, right now, he could do what he wanted, he was his own master. As long as he came back when it started to get dark and stayed out of her hair, she didn’t care where he spent his time.
That’s how he found his alleyway and his first friendship. The hallway had nothing to offer so he went to the steps, playing games with himself as he jumped from one to the next, stretching out his wings and pretending he was flying from one skyscraper to another. But this soon grew boring and he wandered outside into a late humid afternoon. Traffic flew along the street and people were bustling back and forth on the sidewalk, there was no place to really play.
He walked along until he came to the relative cool and dark of the alleyway that was formed between his apartment building and the one next door. To his young eyes, this was a glorious landscape of his own creation and he immediately claimed a corner made by a multi-colored wall and a dumpster.
He only really had one toy and it was his most prized possession. He had been with his mother at the local thrift shop while she went through the racks of clothes. In the forgotten toy bin in the corner he had found the Endeavor doll. It was worn and a little dirty but to him it looked like a million bucks. He had watched Endeavor on the TV, seen his commercials and thought he was the greatest hero ever. To him it seemed like fate that he should come across it and when his mother smiled at him and agreed to get it, he thought he might just die.
After that, he dragged him everywhere with him, usually clutched tightly under one arm. Endeavor got dirtier and more tattered but never diminished in young Hawks’ eyes. That day so long ago, he was stacking up empty pop cans for buildings and using rocks for bad guys, having Endeavor swoop in on a wave of flames, save everyone and drag the evil doers to jail.
He had been lost in his game, the outside world falling away to his land of fantasy when the shouts broke through. Hawks stopped and cocked his head to the side listening, stray blonde hair falling into his eyes. There it was again, a sing-song rhyme but there was nothing nice about it, it was taunting, it was mean and below that sobbing.
He didn’t even really stop to think, he just moved. Hawks grabbed his collection of rocks, shoving as many of them into his pockets as he could and with Endeavor under his arm went in search of whatever was happening. It didn’t take him long to find them, they were only on the other side of the dumpster. Crouched in the corner, skinny with tangled blue hair falling into his face was a boy, desperately clutching a worn stuffed rabbit and crying. Around him, slowly advancing were three older boys. One had a stick and was brandishing it. All three were chanting – “Bash the baby with the bunny, bash the baby with the bunny.”
Hawks knew what he had to do, they were older, they were bigger but they were bad guys and he was going to be a hero. A hero like Endeavor and Endeavor never backed down from a fight. He set his doll safely behind the dumpster and with a rock in each hand took a step forward. “Leave him alone!”
The three stopped in confusion and spun around and then started to laugh. The one in the middle with the stick, the leader stepped forward. “And what are you going to do about it.” He spun the stick in his hand. “I think I’ll beat a bird along with a baby.”
Hawks grit his teeth and threw his biggest rock. Dumb luck or providence guided his hand and it flew straight and true and smacked into the bully’s eye with a hollow thud. The leader stumbled back, dropping his stick and suddenly wasn’t very confident anymore. He grabbed his eye, tears starting to flow. “You hit my eye! You hit my eye!” He turned and fled up the alley, shouting back over his shoulder. “I’m telling!”
The other two froze, looking from their fleeing friend to the small challenger who had somehow chased him away. Hawks let out a battle cry and jumped and then he was airborne, wings flapping and supporting him. He dove at the remaining two, pelting them with rocks and they were soon running, screaming after their friend.
He landed, a little roughly beside the boy in the corner who was now looking up at him with wide red eyes. He laughed, tossing his rocks aside. “I flew!”
The other boy was wiping the tears away. “You did! It was pretty cool!”
Hawks smiled, strutting now with his wings out behind him. “It was bad ass!”
He at first gasped at the use of the forbidden word and then was laughing along with the strange bird boy. “It was pretty bad ass.”
Hawks reached down and pulled the other boy to his feet. “Do you want to play?”
He tucked the rabbit under his arm, following the other boy back to his corner where he had constructed his trash city. “What’s your name?”
The blonde smiled, stretching his wings out as far as they would go. “You can call me by my future hero name, Hawks.”
They sat next to each other side by side, Hawks now with his Endeavor doll back in his grasp. The blue haired boy seemed to be considering something and then looked up at him. As the too long curls fell away from his face, Hawks noticed for the first time the scars, the smudged dirt, traces of old bruises that were just starting to fade and the hand me down clothes that were a size too big for his skinny frame. It was a common sight in this neighborhood, he had found a kindred soul in the dirty back alleyway.
“Why hawk? They don’t have red wings, they have brown ones.” He thought for a minute before snapping his fingers. “Cardinals have red wings!”
“There is nothing cool about a cardinal.”
“Their wings are pretty.”
Hawks cocked his head to the side, looking more bird like than ever. “Yeah but they aren’t special. A hawk is a bird of prey. I saw a special on TV.” He turned back to the other boy. “Hey, what’s your hero name?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I really don’t want to be a hero but my name is Tenko.”
Hawks nodded enthusiastically. “Then your rabbit gets to be the villain and I’ll be Endeavor and come and save the day.”
“Only if you can get past my cleverly laid traps and my rabbit’s killer quirk first!”
After that day they were friends. They would meet by the dumpster and both transport to a world far away from the reality that they each had to deal with every day. The next few months were great. Hawks had a friend, a confident, a brother almost. They would sit in the shade of the alley and share their secrets, their fears, their hopes and any candy that they had happened to get their hands on.
One day Hawks went downstairs and the alley was empty. He sat by the dumpster and waited, minutes slowly turned to hours and he eventually went back home. He never saw Tenko again. He disappeared and he was never sure why or how.
To this day Hawks still remembers him. His shy blue haired friend who would play heroes and villains with him for hours, share the stale pocky he had found in a back cupboard and talk about his dreams. It was the first time he had every flew, ever used his wings, ever saved someone, ever had a real friend. He wonders some days what happened to him, if he is okay and wishes that they could meet again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
“Where are we going?”
“Just shut up and follow me. You and your endless questions.” Dabi stepped over a puddle and turned down yet another alleyway.
Hawks was pretty sure he was lost by now. He had tried to keep a mental map but they kept twisting and turning and the last few streets didn’t even have signs. They were in the middle of an industrial no man’s land of abandoned buildings and burnt out cars. They had left civilization and any chance of assistance behind long ago.
Dabi looked up at another nondescript building and then down at his phone. Hawks thought he must have some kind of GPS leading him here. Then he ducked down and stepped through a broken lower window. Hawks quickly looked around trying to get a feel for its size and shape before ducking into the darkness to follow Dabi.
Dabi held a blue flame in his hand now, lighting their way over and around piles of thrash and rotten furniture. Hawks kept count in his head as they went from one room into another. They finally made one last turn and there was an old-fashioned oil lamp sitting in the corner, flame turned down low. To the right of it was an old couch that had seen better days, and a folding chair setup across from it. A figure shrouded in black sprawled across it. Dabi pointed at the chair and Hawks realized that was a command. He extinguished his flame and walked over to the far end of the room, leaning disinterested against a wall and lighting a cigarette. Hawks looked from the chair to the figure and took the last few steps, sitting down, perched on the edge.
Tomura raised his head and he could see the hand now that covered most of his face under the black hood. “Well hello number two hero.” The voice wasn’t too friendly.
He really wanted a feather in his hand now but knew he couldn’t make any sudden moves. Dabi had finally brought him to meet the boss. He settled for rearranging his wings so he could have easy access if he needed them. “You can just call me by my name. I think I’ve proven myself enough to have earned that.”
“Hawks, so tell me, what is it like to have wings?”
“What?” He was confused, this wasn’t the sort of topic he thought they would be discussing on their first meeting. He had figured they would ask him why he was doing this, why turn against the hero community and he had all his talking points in order. He was ready to talk about his childhood or lack thereof and how he had been forced into this position, about the corruption in the system and the people who fell through the holes.
“How does it feel, to fly?” Tomura leaned down and picked up two glasses. He filled both half full of an amber liquid and leaned over passing one to Hawks.
This was a test like so many others. Dabi had already made him drink till he was sick and take God knew what pills. He had somehow made it through all of those, always in the back of his mind afraid he was going to black out and mess it up, say something wrong and end up a pile of charred bones behind a convenience store. He took the glass and drank it, grimacing as the harsh liquor burned a trail of fire down to his stomach. Shigaraki downed his, setting the empty glass on the floor beside him. Hawks figured that was another silent order and he did the same.
He shook his head. Whatever that had been was already making him feel loopy. “Flying, well, for me, it’s the best thing in the world. You always have an escape route you know? I can always just spread my wings and be airborne. Then up in the sky, you’re all alone and you’re free.” He rubbed his head; the world was starting to tilt. “I’m, I’m, what was I saying?” He slipped from the chair onto the floor, his body weightless and numb. He was willing his wings to move but nothing worked. Then he was looking up at Dabi from the floor. “You drugged me?”
“Night, night little bird.” A black boot kicked him onto his stomach but the room was quickly losing color and he couldn’t keep his eyes open, he blinked two more times and darkness overtook him.
When he woke up, he was some place completely different. The floor was clean tile, the room dark with air conditioning purring in the background and he couldn’t move, at all. He tried to flex his wings, to will his feathers to move but they were strapped tightly. Dabi leaned over him, hands burning through his jacket. “I clipped your wings pretty bird. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Why? What did I do wrong?” He was fumbling with his hands trying to pull them free but they weren’t moving. “Everything I did was for the league.”
Tomura knelled down beside him now. “Liar!” He removed the hand from his face and leaned closer, smiling down at Hawks.
The blonde gasped, recognition slowly dawning on him. “Tenko?”
“Not anymore but you do remember.” He drew four of his fingers down one of Hawks’ bound wings and he shivered beneath the touch, his skin crawling. “I always did like your wings.”
Another voice, deeper, more strained spoke above them. “Tomura, are you sure you want to go through with this?”
“I do.”
There was a heavy sigh and All For One walked over. Dabi quickly moved a chair in front of the prone Hawks so he could sit down. “Come here then.”
Shigaraki moved over until he was kneeling in front of him and beside Hawks. Hawks was looking from Tomura to AFO. “What are you going to do?”
They both ignored him and AFO laid a hand on each of their heads. Pain shot through Hawks’ body, more pain than he had ever felt before, a burning fire running through every limb. When he could finally open his eyes again, he felt empty, like a hollow shell. He realized Tenko or rather now Tomura was collapsed beside him, wispy blue hair was tickling his face. He moved his head slightly and at first thought he was free because a wing was spread out above both of them but then he realized that the color was wrong. These were ebony black feathers, not red.
“What did you do? Fuck, what did you do to me?”
Tomura lifted his head, he could still see the pain in the red eyes but there was also a very satisfied smile on his face. He rose up to his knees, looking behind himself and admiring his new wings. Then he turned back to Hawks, now just a short, blonde, quirkless man. “I stole what made you, you. Now you’re nothing. Did you for one second think we believed your ruse? We used you and now I’m done with you.”
Dabi came up and pulled Tomura to his feet. “I’m glad they’re black. Fuck babe, I didn’t think you could get any hotter but you just did.”
Tomura gently pushed him away. “Later.”
Dabi kicked Hawks but he hardly felt it. Tomura was right, what was he now. Nothing. Dabi looked down at him like a snake considering a mouse. “What do you want me to do with him now? Do you want to kill him or should I?” He stepped closer, this time kissing Tomura’s neck. “Or do you want to kill him together?”
This time Shigaraki didn’t push him away, he let him continue but never took his eyes off Hawks lying prone at his feet. “No, go dump him in front of his hero agency. We’ll show the world what happens when someone tries to fuck with us. Killing him would be merciful, we’ll let him live and suffer every day.”
The last Hawks saw of him was as he left, now with his stolen wings spread out behind him, a beautiful, deadly raven walking away.