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The door to Louis and Harry’s place was open, so Liam let himself in, joining the crowd in the cramped living room. He didn’t go far before Louis bounded up to him, KISS makeup already a bit smeared, and grabbed the bottle of Bacardi from his hands.
“Liam! You’re here, finally! The fuck’s your costume, mate?” Louis yelled over the music as he gave Liam a once over.
“I’m a bear,” Liam said, doing a turn. “Can’t you tell?” He’d thrown together his costume at the last minute, but had to admit he thought it rather clever. He was wearing a studded leather cap, fake moustache, ripped blue jeans, and leather suspenders over a white vest with a deep v-neck, and he’d glued brown fake fur to his chest with spirit gum and had it spilling out of the v like a mane of chest hair. The final touch was a sort of shrug-like faux fur hoodie with bear paws at the end. He stuck his hands in and curled his lip, trying to look tough.
“Ohhh, I see it now!” Louis said, slapping him on the shoulder. “It was just hard to get since you’re such a twunk.”
“I’ll maul you, Gene Simmons, I swear,” Liam said, grabbing his bottle of Bacardi back from Louis and pulling it to his chest.
“Ugh, I’m obviously Paul Stanley. Honestly I don’t know if we can even be friends anymore,” Louis said, shaking his head.
“Not my fault I thought you’d want to be the one with the big mouth, is it?” Louis rolled his eyes, and Liam stuck out his tongue as far as it would go, wiggling it at Louis until he got a laugh in response. “C’mon, show me where I can hide this so I only have to share with you and Harry and Zayn.”
Louis led Liam through the living room and into the kitchen, which was decidedly less crowded. He pulled open a cabinet and took the Bacardi from Liam’s hands, shoving it behind a few boxes of pasta before shutting the door. “That’ll do,” he said decisively. Behind them, someone cleared their throat noisily, and both Louis and Liam turned around to see who’d caught them stashing away liquor.
“Ah Hazza, it’s only you,” Louis said, poking him lightly in the stomach. “Promise not to tell anyone and you can share the rum with us.”
Harry looked around before leaning forward, steadying himself against Louis’ shoulder as he whispered, “it’ll be our secret.” He was wobbly, and Liam wondered if it was from alcohol or from the absurdly high lace up boots he was wearing.
“Sorry Harry, but...what exactly are you tonight?” Liam asked. Harry’s costume was a hodgepodge of elements: the tall boots, a tiny brown and white fur skirt that was absurdly short, and a tannish brown and white fur collar that hung in a loop around his neck. Nut-brown and white body paints dotted his ribs and chest, and his face was painted in black and brown and white. “I mean you’re some kind of animal, yeah?”
“He’s Bambi,” someone said from behind Harry. “Ya didn’t see his tail,” the person said, slapping Harry’s bum and getting him to turn around.
“Niall you ruined it! I was gonna make Liam guess in exchange for rum,” Harry said, pulling his friend into a hug.
“Hey, Liam? I’m Niall,” he said, sticking his hand out for Liam to shake. “And before you ask, I’m Barb. From Stranger Things.” He pushed his glasses up on his nose and made a serious face, and Louis laughed.
“Too fuckin good, Nialler. Christ,” Louis said, laughing. He turned to Liam. “Can’t believe you’ve not met this little arsehole yet,” he said, pointing his thumb at Niall. “You really have to come ‘round more often. You know me and Harry are around just watching telly or playing video games most nights.”
Liam raised his eyebrows at Louis with a smirk on his lips, waiting a moment before he turned back to Niall and Harry to respond. “I bartend as a second job, so I don’t make it out much. But yeah Niall I’ve absolutely heard Harry talk about you.”
“Same here, mate. Any time Lou’s got a good work story you’re a featured character!” Niall laughed, and Liam shrugged.
“Why am I not surprised?” Liam asked, turning to Louis, who was too busy batting his eyes at Harry to even notice that Liam was playing at being annoyed with him. Liam turned back to Niall with a sigh. “So. Drink?” Niall nodded and Liam turned around, grabbing the rum and looking around for cups. He nudged Louis. “Lou. Cups?”
Louis turned from looking at Harry, staring back at Liam blankly. “Didn’t catch it, sorry?” he said, cocking his head to the side. Liam rolled his eyes and laughed.
“Wanted some cups,” he said. “For drinks?” He tilted the bottle of rum back and mimed drinking it.
“Riiiight, yeah, living room actually. Have a whole set up,” Louis answered with a wave of his hand. Harry volunteered to go get cups, and Louis offered to go with him, wrapping his arm around Harry’s waist and shepherding him through the crowd carefully.
“Jesus, I wish they’d go on and fuck already,” Niall said as soon as they’d walked away. Liam burst out laughing, then offered his hand to Niall for a high five.
“Thank God you said it! Watching them eye fuck each other is...like…”
“The most uncomfortable thing possible? Try sittin’ between ‘em during a movie. They don’t stop tryin’ to touch each other, they just put their arms and legs over, around, behind, in front. Feels like you’re watching ‘Love, Actually’ with an escaping octopus,” Niall said with a shudder.
Liam was still laughing when Louis and Harry returned. “I like him,” he said, pointing at Niall.
“Ooh, sorry Lima, you’ve fallen for our token heterosexual I’m sorry to say,” Louis said, shaking his head and giving Liam a pitiful look. Liam responded by smearing the edge of Louis’ star, which earned him a slap on the arse before Louis ran to the bathroom-- Harry in tow --to fix it.
Niall moved to Liam’s side as he made the drinks, and Liam looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “So. About Harry,” he began, turning to check that Louis and Harry were both still out of the room. “Has he said he likes Louis? Or. How much he likes him?”
“Has Louis said?” Niall asked, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.
“So. Much.” Liam said, turning away from the drinks and grabbing Niall’s arms. “He talks about him all the time. Harry said this, Harry did that, Harry’s so fit, I wish Harry felt the same way that I do.”
Niall threw his head back and laughed. “You should hear Harry though! Louis is so funny, Louis is so smart, Louis smells like actual sunshine, how does he do that? He smells like any other guy to me! And meanwhile they’re spendin’ every night together, eating dinner together, basically moonin’ over each other nonstop.”
“But neither of them will say anything!”
“No! I know! They’re both too far up their own arses to see their own shite. But Harry won’t listen.” Niall shook his head sadly.
“Can’t even tell you how many times I’ve told Louis to just say something,” Liam said, turning back to finish making the drinks. “And every time he has an excuse.”
“Yeah, but they’ll have to get to it eventually,” Niall said with a shrug. “Nobody’s that stupid.”
Liam laughed. “They might be.”
Louis and Harry reappeared, Harry resting his chin on Louis’ shoulder, his hair sticking to some of Louis’ white face makeup. “What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Me, of course,” Niall replied. “As always.”
Liam passed out drinks to them and they shared a toast to a good party and no hangovers before Harry dragged Louis into the living room to “get the dancing started,” leaving Liam and Niall in the corner of the kitchen watching them go. Louis’ hands were on Harry’s hips, his eyes on Harry’s bum in his little fur mini-skirt, and Liam sighed, shaking his head as he turned to Niall.
“He’s gonna crack, I just know it,” Liam said. “Days, weeks, maybe a couple months. But it’s coming.”
“We should bet on it,” Niall said, gesturing toward them with his drink. They were on the edges of the crowd in the living room, Louis grinding his arse into Harry’s front as Harry gripped Louis’ black t-shirt tightly. “Like, when it’ll happen.”
“I like that!” Liam said. “You’re on. Terms?”
Niall considered for a moment. “Eh, doesn’t need to be much. 20 quid? We each say when we think it’ll happen by and whoever’s closest without going over wins?”
“Sounds fair,” Liam said with a nod. “They’ve been living together for what? A year now? Year and half? How long can they be this oblivious?”
--
When Liam got the text from Louis telling him that mayyyybe his plan had worked, he immediately swiped into his contacts and dialed Niall, who answered on the first ring.
“Meet me down the pub,” Niall said before Liam could even speak. “Celebratory beers for the both of us.”
“I’m bringing Zayn too. He’s been in on this since almost as long as we have,” Liam said, giving himself a look in the mirror and pronouncing himself good enough to go to the pub with Niall and Zayn.
“Can’t fuckin’ believe those idiots finally went and did it,” Niall said. “Don’t even remember where we left the bets.”
“At this point, we’re all winners,” Liam said, grabbing his keys. “Alright, Nialler. See you there in ten?” Niall agreed before ringing off, and Liam shot a quick text to Zayn: “Z-- it finally happened! Larry Stylinson is a go. Get your arse to the pub immediately for celebratory drinks with Niall and me!!” He was grinning so hard it nearly hurt his face, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.