Work Text:
Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away, there lived a very lonely king. He had no queen, nor princes or princesses. He had no subjects, either.
One day, when the king was surveying his land, he came across two interlopers: a prince and his knight. The prince begged for mercy, they were lost, he'd said, but it was the knight's handsome visage and heart of gold that intrigued the king and persuaded his leniency.
After many years and countless trials with the knight coming to the king's aid without hesitation and despite great fear, the king began to value and respect the noble knight.
Now, the king was aware of a great many kingdoms and lands outside of his own borders, but he had explored only one before he met the stalwart knight. That mysterious land was full of smooth plains and supple, rolling hills; it was beautiful, but treacherous.
He was lured to a deep cave within a haunted forest by an evil bi— witch. It was filled with lush treasures and greater pleasures, but when he returned to his family lands, it was to find them in ruins and ash. From that day forward, the young king vowed never again to explore foreign lands.
But our noble and headstrong knight wouldn't stand for the solitude so desired by the king. He wished with all his heart to draw the king out of his shell, to get him to visit the knight's own lands, to live in the world once again.
It didn't help that his immediate attraction to the king would be neither quashed nor ignored. It arose in reminder at the most inopportune times. The knight found himself frozen with it, nearly dripping in anticipation from being near the handsome, fearless king. He wished to be close to the king at all times, to visit the king's royal chambers and be wrapped up tight in the king's opulent cape with him.
The turning point came one day when the knight and the king joined forces to aid the prince in a quest to slay a dragon. Little did they know, the dragon had a master and had no command of his own actions. But the master was cruel and cunning and he locked the brave knight and dashing king up together—nary an inch of space between them. They wriggled against each other in a frantic, fruitless bid for freedom, and it was at that moment that the knight first—finally, thankfully—felt the king's attraction for him.
This was no trivial attraction, but seemed to consume the king fully, straightening his back and ruffling his cape about. This was temptation and desire personified. At long last, their passion acknowledged, things began to change between the rugged king and his spunky knight.
Their ardor professed, the king finally began to explore the knight's estate. It was vastly different from the witch's lands he had previously surveyed and which had cost him so much. These lands were lavish and plentiful; dotted with stiff peaks, and sharp outcroppings. But the lands were also fertile and brought the king great comfort.
It felt like weeks before the king was ready to plunge into the greatest depths of the knight's lands. And when the king finally entered the knight's—
"Stiles, why are you talking to my penis?"
"I'm telling it the story of how I finally got you into bed."
"Is— is the king my dick?"
"Yup. And now that the king is awake, maybe he wants to plunder my dark tower?"
The king did, indeed, spend many hours displaying great strength and stamina plundering the knight's dark tower. And would again for many months and years to follow, as they lived happily ever after.