Chapter Text
[October 9, 8:09 AM]
Cloud: who made this and how have i not realized we had this until now
Palutena: Me, and I used my divine powers to hide the notification from everyone’s phones.
Cloud: why
Palutena: I wanted to see how long it would take for someone to notice this.
Cloud: understandable
Zelda: Just for curiosity’s sake, how long was that?
Palutena: About three months. Give or take.
Cloud: oh my god are you serious
Palutena: Very
Cloud: i don’t know whether to laugh or not
Marth: Oh this is why my phone was going off during the match.
Roy: and why i won HA
Ike: leave him alone you idiot
Pit: woah what
Cloud: i thought you couldn’t read
Megaman: I taught him
Megaman: and it only took four years but hey better late than never
Cloud: palutena did you even try teaching him how to read
Palutena: I’m a goddess, you think I have enough free time to teach the captain of my army how to read?
Cloud: clearly you have more free time than you claim to if you had enough time to add every single one of us to this thing
Palutena: Okay I did try but he didn't pay attention so I gave up
Cloud: understandable. pit does seem to have a short attention span
Cloud: which makes the fact someone actually taught him how to read all the more impressive
Megaman: I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment.
Roy: he was complimenting u tho???
Megaman: and also calling my bf an idiot
Roy: well i mean
Roy: he's not wrong
Pit: hey!
Cloud: pit you once asked me if mixing flour and water was bad and when i went to the kitchen you were covered in flour and the sink was overflowing.
Pit: that wasn't my fault! i didn't know the sink was broken!
Cloud: i told everyone it was broken that morning
Roy: i may not be smart but im smarter than pit
Marth: Not by much.
Roy: ( •̀ㅁ•́;)
Megaman: okay can we stop picking on pit now
Cloud: nope
Pit: this is bullying
Megaman: cloud, you and me, final destination, no items, one stock right now. i’m fighting for pit’s honor
Pit: (>ω<)
Sonic: oh hell yeah id love to see cloud get beat up
Sonic: make sure you finish him with an uppercut because thatd be epic
Ryu: I could teach you the Shoryuken to make it better
Sonic: DUDE YOU SHOULD
Megaman: I’m good, thanks.
Sonic: R O C K COME ON
Sonic: ITD BE SO COOL
Megaman: No.
Sonic: do it for pit you coward
Megaman: I’d like to learn the shoryuken please
Ryu: Of course!
Sonic: wow i cant believe that worked
Sonic: cloud prepare to perish
Cloud: bold of you to assume i’ll lose
Robin: has anyone seen chrom and lucina
Ike: training room
Robin: oh gods they’re gonna wreck the place
Samus: Important announcement, Ridley managed to get inside, nobody is safe, hide immediately
Ike: samus, ridley and peach are having a tea party
Samus: what the fuck
Ike: oh daisy’s joining them
Sonic: oh my god i wanna see this
Ike: they got snake to join them too
Ike: and isabelle
Ike: huh
Sonic: pictures or it didnt happen
Ike: {file: bold_of_you_to_assume_im_lying.jpeg}
Sonic: oh my god hES GOT A TINY HAT THIS IS AMAZING
Sonic: shadow needs to see this where is he
Shadow: I already saw.
Sonic: oh he’s here
Palutena: I also added some of the assist fighters and the people that help in final smashes
Sonic: is zero one of them
Palutena: Yes
Sonic: excellent
Sonic: hey zero
Sonic: {file: hi.mp4}
Zero: if it’s that stupid video of you crumpling a paper bag i’m going to kill you
Sonic: idk man you should watch it to find out
Zero: you’re dead
Sonic: IT WORKS EVERY TIME YOU THINK HED CATCH ON BY NOW
Sonic: oh shit hes running down the hall full speed hes serious
Sonic: wheres his man
Ike: is he even in here
X: Zero, calm down please!
Zero: i’m sick of his shit i have to
X: Zero, don’t make me come over there.
Sonic: listen to your man
Sonic: i wont send the video ever again if you do
Zero: i have a hard time believing that
Sonic: someone please help me
Sonic: DID CLOUD TEACH HIM HIS DUMB BLADE BEAM THING
Cloud: yes i did
Sonic: why do you hate me so much
Cloud: i hate everyone
Sonic: of course
X: I’m on my way, hold on.
Sonic: thank you my lord and savior
Megaman: okay I have mastered the shoryuken I am ready to fight
Pit: you can do it i believe in you!!!
Megaman: Pit believes me in I can’t lose now
Zelda: This is the sweetest thing I’ve read all day
Cloud: she says as chaos happens in the background
Sonic: anyway when's that fight
Cloud: oh right now we're just starting
Sonic: are either of your bfs gonna watch you get your ass kicked
Cloud: shut up
Link: We believe in you!
Shulk: you can do it!!!
Palutena: That's adorable wow
Cloud: shulk do i win
Shulk: my future vision doesn't work like that cloud i've told you this
Cloud: dammit
Sonic: i have popcorn i'm so ready to see cloud get fucking owned
Ike: ok wtf do you have against cloud
Sonic: he keeps beating me in mario kart
Ike: i
Ike: wow
Palutena: I can't say I'm surprised.
Palutena: I've watched both of you play and 90% of the time Sonic drifts either too much or not enough meanwhile Cloud's doing like ten tricks per jump and acing the tighter turns
Cloud: so basically i'm the best mario kart player ever
Palutena: I wouldn't put it exactly like that, but close enough.
Sonic: also i'm kidding we're buds but i enjoy watching him get beat up
Cloud: our relationship is one built on pettiness and entertainment gained from watching each other get beat up
Ike: ooooook then
Megaman: Cloud the match is starting
Cloud: oh yeah
Pit: you can do it rock!!!!!!
Link: Even if you lose, we'll still love you, Cloud!!!!!
Shulk: WIN FOR US CLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Palutena: so many supportive boyfriends.
Zelda: Today's a good day.