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Ash slammed into his apartment: dirty, tired and covered in someone else’s blood. The guys followed in quickly after. All of them pleasantly worn out.
Ash did a headcount as they stumbled in, watched closely for any serious injuries as they grabbed beers and snacks, settling themselves into the space considered home base.
He’d won his fight tonight, but the guys running the joint hadn’t been happy about it. When Ash had gone looking for his manager and best friend Shorter and found him with a gun pressed into his gut, the situation had become abundantly clear.
These guys weren’t gonna pay up easy.
He wondered if those guys had even watched the fight, seen how quickly he’d taken down their star fighter. No sweat, no blood on his end. They should have run. Fucking idiot babies.
It hadn’t taken long to get their piece, but the general chaos that broke out after made things difficult. It wasn’t hard to lose the cops, but to stay lost, to not get remembered while getting lost. That’s always tough.
All Ash wanted to do was crawl into bed next to his best friend Eiji and tell him all about it while Eiji patched him up and brushed his hair out. It was always a disaster trying to get it untangled after slicking it back for a fight. Sometimes Eiji would braid it for him, but it felt a little too much like appropriation, made him look like a white girl on her first trip to the Caribbean.
Eiji would tutt after him for a while, make him a snack, get him some Advil. And then he’d say he was glad Ash had made it home safe. They’d pass out in the same bed watching something dumb on Ash’s tv.
He hadn’t brought Eiji tonight cause he had got a bad vibe from the guys planning the event. Ash didn’t have to fight underground, mostly didn’t. But the money was good and he’d been wanting to get Eiji a new camera for his birthday. A really nice couple grand fancy sport kind of camera.
Ibe-san has gone back to Japan months ago, but Eiji had stayed behind. Quickly wound his way into Ash’s ‘entourage’, the photographer.
Eiji did great work, but also in general brought something a little more to the group. A sensible dynamic that they had needed.
But Eiji wasn’t in their bedroom. Ash rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
Yut Lung, Eijis good friend and Ash’s least favorite person, was lazily flipping through a magazine on Eijis bed, head propped up in his hand.
“ oh you’re back, “ he closed his magazine and gave Ash a nasty look, “ you lost then? Eiji will be sad to hear it.”
Ash snarled at the snake before him. “No, I did not fucking lose, of course not. It just wasn’t as business as usual as it usually is.”
Yut Lung huffed,” Maybe if you didn’t insist on doing things off the book, you wouldn’t end up so filthy. Honestly I don’t understand why Eiji slums it with you lot.”
Ash felt his temper skyrocketing.
“ Eiji does as he pleases, which. Speaking of, why the fuck are you hear and where the fuck is he.”
Yut sneered, and rolled so he was sitting up facing Ash. He looked into Ash’s eyes and suddenly gave him a wide smile, “ I came over to help Eiji get dressed.”
Ash’s blood went cold, “ Get dressed? Is he hurt what happened.”
If possible the grin grew wider, “ Oh no, not that dear Ash. Our sweet Eiji had a date, and couldn’t decide what to wear.” Yut Lung crossed to the open closet and looked through some of the hanging clothes. “ he didn’t want to seem like he was overdoing it, but also not like he didn’t care.”
“ I gave him a few options, but In the end he chose something simple,” Lee leered over his shoulder at the simmering Lynx behind him. “ you know those jeans he has, the tight black ones? The ones he always blushes in?”
Ash felt his heart leap, he fucking loved those jeans, the way Eiji was on display, how easy it would be to pull him towards you with those thin belt loops….
“ And he wore that sweater, you know… the lavender one. The soft one, it rides up just so,” Lee raised his hands to reach for a hat on the top rack, and traced his exposed flesh with his fingers. “ Always slides off his shoulders, Gosh his skin really is just deliciously creamy there.”
Ash gulped. His favorite pastime was burying his face into the back of that sweater, and letting his hands rest in that exposed space. Sometimes tickling the flesh there.
“He actually borrowed a pair of your shoes. I didn’t realize you two had the same size feet.”
They’d realized recently. Sitting on opposite ends of the couch, knees bent up so they both could fit while leaning into the corners, Eiji had started a game of pushing his foot into Ash’s until they were heel to heel pad to pad, and they could lift their legs up into the air and do funny wiggles and stretches as long as the pressed lightly.
It was really dumb, some sort of bored footsy. But the two of them had really gotten into it, trying to see who could force the others knee to buckle first, the silliest ways to make their legs push and pull, how far up they could stretch before they lost contact. They’d laughed like high schoolers for a long time, but eventually settled down feet to feet, just chatting easily, occasionally wiggling their toes against the others.
Eventually Eiji let out a startled laugh and leaned forward over their feet, “ look!” He’d giggled,” We are the same!”
Ash had leaned forward too, ” Mmm, sure looks like it pipsqueak.”
Eiji swatted at Ash and laughed, “ I must not be such a pipsqueek after all, the rumors about Japanese men do not hold up in my case.”
Ash shot him a confused look, so Eiji gave him a saucy wink and continued,
“ If you are the big dick around here, and my foot is your foot, then I also am a big dick!” He’d given Ash the biggest proudest grin and Ash lost it.
“Holy Shit Eiji, you’re such a nerd.”
They’d laughed for a while, it was nice. Thinking about Eijis … well. That was sorta nice too, but he’d better not. They were friends and while yes, he was maybe attracted to him, he’d already caused Eiji a world of trouble. Dating? Being more than they already were… he’d just end up hurting Eiji. Ash knew that he was no good for that kind of pure innocence.
But still, thinking about Eiji with someone else?
“ Which shoes..” his teeth ground at the memories.
“ Your stomping boots, the black ones,” Yut Lung waved his hand around as if swatting away a bad smell, “ it really opposed the soft and sexy look I wanted for him, but I suppose the contrast was nice. Eiji said the boots made him feel powerful. There was a choker too,”
Ash’s eyes bulged at the thought.
“ Of course Eiji flat out refused.”
A relieved sigh fell out of Ash's mouth.
“ But he did let me style his hair, and his makeup.”
The silence was sickening, crackling with energy.
Yut Lung was unphased.
“ Just a little bit of mascara and smudge around his eyes. They’re already so big and bold, but the shadows made him positively doe-ish. It was surprising to hear he’d finally accepted an offer from one of his many suitors, happy to help.”
Shorter came in to lean on the door frame. Assessing the dangerous look on Ash’s face, and the Cheshire grin on Yut Lungs.
“ I guess you heard about the date then.” Adjusting the peas on his head ( he hadn’t made it out as easily as the blond cat before him), he tried to look as nonchalant as possible.
Ash turned to Shorter faster than quick, “ You knew about this?”
Shorter shrugged, “ I had to show him how to use his Uber app. You were busy.” In fact, Shorter wouldn’t have known at all but he’d left his wallet and had to run home to grab it. Catching Eiji and Yut Lung arguing over Eijis hair in the bathroom had been a surprise. That Japanese boy really had no sense of Ash’s feelings.
At first Shorter had been pissed for Ash, but then sorta realized how stupid both of these kids were and decided to help. Making sure he could track Eijis phone while downloading the Uber app had been an easy trick. He was sure that he’d made the right choice now, seeing Ash’s mouth gaped open like a fish.
“ Why didn’t anyone think to tell me that Eiji was going on a fucking date tonight.”
Yut Lung tsked and Shorter rolled his eyes.
“ You’re positively boorish,” Yut Lung sighed as he exited the room, “ Shorter, do remind Eiji to text me when he’s home safe won’t you?”
“ Yeah, no worries.”
Shorter showed Yut Lung to the door and then turned back to face his boss.
Ash was staring into his and Eijis bedroom as if he’d never seen it before. It was sorta lame. But Shorter felt for the guy, maybe one too many hits on the head. He wasn’t sure why Eiji had finally accepted one of the offers sent his way, but if his goal was to shake Ash out of his stupid non romantic stupor- it was working.
He crossed the room and put his arm around his buddy, together they looked out the massive windows and onto the beautiful city beneath. Taxis shifting through the tide, pedestrians doing the dance that was late night Manhattan.
“ I guess if you want,” Shorter ventured, pulling away from his pal, “ we could always date crash.”
Ash's pupils dilated in the reflection. Whole body tensed up, and then a quick but firm head nod.
“ I need to change first.”
—- NoMad Bar, Manhattan —-
Eiji was surprised to realize he was actually having a really great time.
Charlie has seemed a little lame at first. Even the Japanese know that cops are lame. Poor choices for romantic interludes. But he’d helped Eiji out of quite a few sticky situations in the last few months since moving here to America. He didn’t mind that Eiji still messed up his translations, or the crowd he hung out with. And his hair was such a nice shade of red. Like fall leaves. Eiji didn’t know any other redheads.
So, when he’d asked Eiji to grab dinner how could he say no? Of course he hadn’t even grasped the potential romantic motivations of the dinner until he’d casually mentioned his plans to Yut Lung.
His friend had practically yelled at him over the phone, “ You’re going on a date with a cop?”
And no it couldn’t be like that right? But NoMad bar was pretty.. datey. He’d looked it up and the vibe was steamy, room for dancing, but not a lot of room if you had to get a drink. Plus the hotel connected. Yut Lung had been aghast at the bold implications, but Eiji still didn’t know.. he had Yut Lung help him pick out what to wear anyways.
Briefly, Eiji has worried what Ash might think of this escapade.. he knew that he had feelings for the blond beauty, but also that he shouldn’t ever act on them. Ash went to the people he wanted, not vice versa. And he was so much more than Eiji in every way. Who wouldn’t fall in love with Ash Lynx. Just getting to be by his side was enough.
But still, it would be nice if this maybe was a date. None of the men that had asked him out before seemed like someone he could trust. Eiji knew that American gay men had an Asian kink that wasn’t to be trusted. Or at least that’s what Yut Lung and Sing had been warning him about all this time.
Charlie was a white American but also a friend! A handsome one!
They’d grabbed dinner in a tiny booth, sorta away from the chaos of the dancefloor. Had a few drinks. It was all so good! Eiji felt warmed up and giddy with all the alcohol in his tummy. He and Charlie talked about the fights, his photography, Charlie’s dream to make detective. Eiji knew it wouldn’t be a long wait for the keen officer.
There was a gentle touch here and there, a refusal to let Eiji pay for anything. It was almost certainly a date. And Eiji was sorta glad, he was human after all. Months of running around the New York underground, trying to capture images while being jostled by crowds of screaming people. This was softer, easy.
They’d made their way over to the dance floor. Bodies pulsing and mashing to the beat. Charlie’s hands had found Eiji's hips and stayed there. Eiji twisting and dancing freely. Alcohol allowing him to freely move to the beat. Let his mind wander away.
He knew in his heart, whose fingers he wished were touching him. Thoughts of how Ash would absently rub that spot of exposed flesh that Charlie was rubbing right then. A reminder of why this was his favorite sweater.
He wished that the slight intake of breath, the closeness, the hard impression pressing on him from behind were from Ash instead.
But it wasn’t as if Eiji wasn’t allowed a fling!
But no, Charlie was kind, Eiji would need to look elsewhere for something like that. Even the alcohol couldn’t distract him from that.
Eiji slowed down his dancing, turning to look at his date. Charlie’s eyes were clouded with lust. His hand reaching up to tuck a strand of Eiji's hair away from his eyes, leaning in slightly. Eiji could practically see Charlie debating whether or not he should kiss him right there,
“ be right back,” Eiji mouthed instead. Placing a warm hand on Charlie’s arm, a comforting smile.
He needed some air.
——-
“Thank god New Yorkers love to wear black huh.”
Shorter and Ash were looking over the bar from the second floor balcony. It had been too easy to track Eiji. To spot the purple sweater in the sea of black bodies. And honestly it was a little fucked up. An invasion of privacy.
Hed spotted Eiji almost instantly, that purple sweater luminant in the flashing lights of the dance floor. Jesus Christ, where did he learn to move like that?
“ oh yikes,” Shorter laughed,” is that Officer Charlie??”
Ash narrowed his eyes and leaned over to get a better look, “ That mother fucker.”
Shorter laughed, “ I can’t believe Eiji agreed to go on a date with a cop.”
Ash steamed, “ I knew we shouldn’t have trusted that dirt bag, he let us go so he could try and get into Eijis pants.”
Shorter frowned, “ I don’t know, I mean maybe, but that’s pretty low, he seemed alright then.”
Ash felt ashamed watching Eiji like this, but still, the way Charlie was touching Eiji, the way Eiji pressed into him, around him. Ash was seething.
“ I’m leaving.”
“ What!? Ash we just got here?” Shorter followed after him, watched as tension built and built in his shoulders and then suddenly released. They’d made it to the stairwell, it was quiet, empty. Ash turned to look at Shorter, emotions crawling across his eyes.
“ I was impulsive, we shouldn’t have come here. Eiji trusts us. And he, “ a huge sigh escaped from Ash and he buried his face in his hands. “ he deserves something good like this.”
Shorters heart dropped at the implication,
“ Ash, you could be that for Eiji. It’s always been you for him. And the same goes for you. You two haven’t looked anywhere but towards each other since you met.”
Ash shook his head no, and straightened, shaking the emotions off.
“ Have you ever seen Eiji like that before? So relaxed, so free?”
Shorter practically balked, “ Are you an idiot?” He grabbed at Ash’s arm, forcing him to look him in the eye. “ Eiji is like that with you! The two of you make each other happy, sure it’s not always,” he gestured wildly towards the bar, “ sexual like that, but that tension is there, please Ash open your eyes.” But Ash was already pulling away.
They made their way outside slowly. Shorter felt desperate, something felt pin knife do or die here. What if Eiji didn’t come home tonight? It certainly wouldn’t be good for Ash. He’d play it cool, but ice would form between them. Eiji wouldn’t understand why, he’d assume that Ash had finally tired of him, and seek solace in others like he was doing tonight. Fuck, this was a disaster.
They exited into the loud New York streets. Women winked and giggled their way. The smell of booze drifting out of the sidewalk. People were gathered around each other to keep warm while they smoked. Flushed faces, smiling and flirting.
Everyone looking towards who’d be their comfort that night. Shorter watched Ash take it all in. It was all so normal, so separate from anything either of them had ever been allowed. Shorter wondered if Ash had ever made love before. Probably not.
He’d caught them, Ash and Eiji, twisted around each other, late at night. Holding hands, each other, whispering. It was the most intimate thing Shorter had ever seen, and the two hadn’t even kissed. Well except for that once, but it had been a farce, a way to cheat at cards and get over on a bunch of fools.
That kiss had pretty much told Shorter everything he’d needed to know about the strange relationship that had formed between his boss and the Japanese stranger.
He didn’t wanna watch the consequences of tonight. “ We should get a drink,” looking around he knew a good shitty place close by. “ let’s go to Desmond’s.”
But Ash was rigid, not looking at Shorter. Phone open to messages. A text from Eiji.
Oh.
Oh
Eiji: I’ll be home soon, I’m sorry If you made it home before me, I spent all night worrying about you. Xx
Shorter paused and then looked over to where Ash was staring. Eiji was stood leaning on the wall across from them, phone clutched up to his heart, a deep blush coating his cheeks.
Holy shit
Shorter patted Ash on the back gently. And made his escape. He’d let them sort this out on their own.
——
Ash felt Shorter pull away and stared at the boy across from him. Eiji was cold, little puffs of air escaping from his lips. Hands sorta shaking where they clutched the phone. And no wonder, the boy was out in November with no coat. He watched as a single tear escaped, and as Eiji gently swiped it away. Careful of the charcoal that lined his eyes.
Eiji really was beautiful. Slight, and soft, surprisingly strong due to years of athletic training.
Fuck, it was all so much, and that text. He really shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t do what he was about to do but fuck.
Opening his eyes just as Ash began to move towards him, Eiji was caught in the intense gaze of his best friend. Shock covered Eiji's features quickly, and then embarrassment. How long had Ash been there watching him? But then why was Ash here, what was going on.
Deft fingers found Eiji's chin, the other hand landing on his hip. Cold Jade eyes inspecting Eiji's body,” I was worried about you when I got home and you weren’t there.”
Eiji returned Ash’s look, noticing the little cut by Ash’s eye, “ Did no one think to patch you up? Are you hurt anywhere else?” His fingers reaching up in a mirror of Ash’s, gentle probing the injury.
“ I won, they weren’t happy that I did.” Eijis features shifted into something smug:
“ Of course you won.” He smiled, “ they were foolish to doubt you.”
Ash could feel his resolve shaking, his fingers desperate for more, knowing he had to be honest.
“ Eiji I was. I was so jealous when I heard you’d gone on a date, I followed you here, I didn’t even know what I was going to do, I’m so ashamed, but then you texted me and I , I was leaving, but I couldn’t.” Ash tried to explain, thoughts crowding over themselves. Embarrassed Ash tried to turn his head away, but a gentle hand guided his head back.
Eiji looked surprised, but also hopeful, a little bit desperate. “ Ash,” he paused gathering resolve. Both hands settling on Ash. One curling into Ash’s shirt, the other his neck. “ Ash, I’m in love with you.”
Oh. Ash’s breath swooshed out of him all at once, oh god.
Was he going to cry?
Eijis hands pulled him closer, “ I’m sorry, I Know it’s a lot to hear, but I had to tell you.” Ash found himself pulled into a tight hug.
How could Eiji not realize. Ash was clutching the smaller boy now, all tangled limbs and warm breath in this cold New York alley.
“ Eiji,” it was a whisper, a whisper as he pulled back slightly, catching the smaller boys eyes, “ you’ve been everything to me. You’re my home. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Don’t ever apologize to me, I was afraid.” Ash was crumbling ,” I was afraid you wouldn’t want me.”
And then there was the kiss. The softest kiss Ash had ever received. God what a relief. To be kissing Eiji. Eiji with those soft full lips, with the long eyelashes and warm smiles.
Ash put himself into the kiss, deepening it. Putting his longing. His love into it. Eiji sighed against him, arms wrapping around his neck, legs spreading slightly to allow Ash to press against him fully. Lips parting slightly, allowing curious tongues to meet.
It lasted forever, and it was faster than light. Both boys parted dizzy, smiling. Holding each other with everything they had.
Giggling, Eijis eyes brimmed with tears, “ I love you so much it’s foolish.”
Ash smiled back and placed a quick kiss on Eijis forehead, “ I love you so much it’s dangerous. Don’t ever leave me Eiji.”
“ Forever.” Eiji agreed.
It was a bit awkward, going back into the bar. Lips full from kissing, cheeks red. Charlie looked up from his phone, saw Ash, and realization crashed over his features.
Laughing, he grabbed his drink and finished it in one swig, “ I should have known.” He crossed over to Eiji, placed a kiss on his cheek, “ let me know if you ever tire of this cat.”
With Charlie gone, Ash was able to fully commandeer Eiji to himself. He draped himself over the boy, nipping at his ear.
“ I saw you dancing Eiji,”
Eiji turned, red faced to look at Ash.
The look was feral, “ I saw you dancing and I want it too. I want to feel you against me like that.”
Eiji gulped, he didn’t know if he’d had enough alcohol for that. But then again.. Ash was his home. Eiji remembered how he’d wished it was Ash clutching him earlier.
They’d danced until the bar closed, kissing and moving together like experienced lovers. They knew each other’s bodies after all. They spent the night learning what the other liked best, a devilish cab ride home where Ash tipped double the fair as apology. And then they were home. Home in their bed. Home where they could spend eternity wrapped up together.
Same as it’d always been, but so much more.
They had forever.