Chapter Text
It was that enchanting time of the evening when sun had disappeared behind the horizon and only the faint afterglow still remained on the darkening sky. The time when the body slowly starts relaxing and readying for sleep but before it becomes too sluggish to move. Easily Benny’s favorite moment of the day.
He stood on the front porch of the Park Ranger’s cabin, leaning against a wooden column, taking in the gorgeous view. Tall pine trees surrounded him from every direction and high on their tops birds gave out their final cries, preparing for nightly rest. Although he wasn’t able to see them in dim lighting, his sharp smell and hearing allowed him to occasionally spot one carelessly moving around. He lazily followed their travels while enjoying a lungful of fresh air. The twilight air was full of various scents he’s grown familiar with over the years: bark, pine, the earthy aroma of the ground and pheromones from various animals he didn’t bother to name right now.
From a few steps away came a steady ticking of his truck’s engine as it cooled down in chilly night air. Another fulfilling day of supervising Lover’s Leap State Park had ended and with a satisfied smile, Benny turned around, away from the beautiful forest, to enter the Ranger’s Cabin.
“Welcome back,” Lenore greeted the moment he stepped in, looking up from the papers she was working on. Probably a daily report about number of visits. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Benny assured as he put the toolbox he carried inside a storage room. “I fixed that sign along the main road. Some teens must’ve kicked it down, there were empty beer cans nearby. Probably tried to impress each other.”
Lenore shook her head and the salty aroma of irritation spoiled her natural herbal Beta scent. Mischievous teenagers were the bane of their existence. No matter how many they caught, or how many fines they wrote out, it hardly changed anything. Knocked-down signs, meadows covered in trash, and disturbing other visitors continued.
But Benny didn’t want to think about that, didn’t want to ruin his good mood when he was about to kick back in front of a TV.
“I’ll write a report later—“
“Don’t worry about,” Lenore cut him off. “You’ve got till Monday. I wouldn’t want to keep you from watching your favorite show,” she teased with a knowing, gentle smile dancing on her lips.
Benny averted his eyes, painfully aware of the red-tinged embarrassment erupting hot across his face and down his neck. To anyone else, Lenore’s words might have sounded innocent, but they both knew what she really meant.
With a quick nod, Benny exited the reception and ventured down the long hallway to the bunkroom. It was decently sized and furnished with classic, slightly worn-out household items. An old-style TV, a recliner covered in floral upholstery that you could find at an old lady’s home, and a mini bar all adorned the musty bunkroom, giving it very homey feeling. This is where Benny enjoyed spending time the most during his weekends. Other rangers saw weekend shifts as a curse and gladly allowed Benny to consistently take them, even if they couldn’t understand why he wanted them in the first place. Most of the other rangers preferred spending those two days with their families and as far away from work as possible.
That wasn’t a problem for Benny though. Weekends at the Ranger’s cabin were always quiet. His only job was to respond to emergencies, which had only ever occurred twice in his seven years on duty. For the most part he could kick back on the front porch and relax with a good novel or wander around the forest when mood struck, making sure to stay close to the building.
But that wasn’t the main reason why he insisted on taking weekend shifts.
See, his cabin didn’t have a TV; the shitty signal couldn’t reach his cabin as far in as it was. And that meant Benny’s only option for catching new episodes of his favorite show – airing on Saturday evenings – was in Ranger’s cabin which as fully equipped with all the electronic gadgets and means of communication.
Benny glanced at the clock hanging above the bunkroom’s door and cursed under his breath. He rushed to sit down on the recliner and quickly turned on the TV.
Thankfully, the intro to “Alpha vs. Wilderness” had just started. He missed the opening narration, but that wasn’t a big loss; it only recapped the host’s – John Winchester – long history as a professional hunter. It was something he’d seen countless times before. Benny sighed with relief, unbuttoned the top of ranger’s shirt and stretched out his legs.
“Alpha vs. Wilderness” was a continuous hit for the past fourteen seasons. It grew from a summer filler, which received little to no advertising, to the network’s cash cow that drew millions of viewers in weekly. Alpha John Winchester was an experienced hunter who traveler around the world for the past twenty-four years. He brought his two sons – who had eventually became co-hosts – along on every hunt. The show was fast-paced, filled with action, humor and exotic locations. Perfect entertainment in Benny’s opinion.
However, none of the above was the reason why he refused to miss a single episode.
No, that would be because of John Winchester’s oldest son, Dean.
Benny’s heart sped up when the stunning Omega appeared on the screen wearing a worn out leather jacket and his usual, cheeky smile that made those plush lips even more tempting. A smile that lit Dean’s entire face up as he teased his younger brother for the amount of research he conducted about the alligators in the Great Dismal Swamp in Virginia. “Come on, Sammy, don’t be such a nerd.” Dean’s deep voice sounded like a calm song in Benny’s ears. “As if you never hunted for alligators before.” In response Sam Winchester drew his lips in tight line and started explaining why he researched every time. But Benny didn’t pay attention to Sam’s words, too absorbed by Dean.
Tall, muscular and outgoing, Dean was nothing like your average Omega. Most Omegas – male or female – preferred to mate while in their early twenties and focus on raising pups, taking care of home and their Alpha’s needs. Dean was not only unattached – despite nearing thirtieth birthday – but he was also known for solely dating female Betas and Omegas. The majority of Dean’s public photos taken by paparazzi featured him with an array of attractive women – a new one every week or two. Some of those women went online to detail their short flings with Dean and they all agreed that although Dean had a small cock, like most male Omegas tend to, he was living proof that size doesn’t matter.
Once a reporter asked Dean why he never dated an Alpha. Dean explained: “Alphas like to tell people what to do, it’s in their nature, and I’m a very dominant person myself. If I ever mated with an Alpha, we’d probably end up killing each other. No, I’d rather avoid that pitfall.”
Those words pierced Benny’s heart like an arrow, crushing any hope he had at ever hooking up with the wonderful Omega.
Doesn’t matter. Even if he was open to dating Alpha, he wouldn’t bother with such failure like you. You couldn’t even keep Andrea satisfied enough to keep her from running away with another guy.
Benny rubbed the palms of his hands against his face, willing the negative thoughts to go away, but they remained at the back of his mind, threatening to resurface when he least expected it. There was only one way to silence them. He got up, went to the mini-bar and fished out a new bottle of Jack Beam Black, which he bought a week ago and smuggled inside the cabin despite the fact that rangers are forbidden to bring or drink alcohol on the premises. At this moment he couldn’t care less about getting caught by Lenore, he needed a drink. It wasn’t like Lenore would say anything to their superiors if she noticed anyway. She’d just make the same sad expression she wore whenever she saw her friend still mourning over Andrea.
He quickly poured a double of the amber liquid into a glass and downed it in one gulp, enjoying the faint taste of brown sugar, honey, caramel, and butterscotch that seared his throat slithering down into his core. The sneering thoughts and pain in his heart slowly slipped away, becoming subdued. Good. If he can’t get rid of them any other way, he’ll drown them in alcohol. It worked wonders for him thus far, ever since the night when Andrea announced that she was leaving him for another man.
No, that wasn’t the correct way to put it. She didn’t announce it. She simply told Benny that she wanted to end their relationship and he, like a complete fool that he is, pressed the issue, begging her to reconsider, promising to try harder to meet her expectations in the future, until she had no choice but to admit that there was another man.
A man who didn’t have to ‘try harder in the future’, but already did in the present. A real Alpha.
That evening Benny decided that alcohol was the best cure for broken heart, much like right now. That night he ventured to a near-by bar where he spent hours nursing a bottle of whisky and feeling sorry for himself. At first, he was furious at Andrea for backstabbing him, then with the other man for seducing her. In the end, he understood that he was the only one to blame. He failed to be a good Alpha, he wasn’t able to keep Andrea happy and pushed her into another Alpha’s arms.
He didn’t deserve to mate with an Omega.
Leaning back in the recliner, Benny, feeling completely at peace with the idea that the stunning Omega will never be his, sunk deeper into the pleasant combination of numbness and warmth caused by the whisky. It successfully numbed everything… except Dean Winchester’s gorgeous face and deep voice. Benny watched him skillfully sidestep an alligator’s attacks. Years of experience showing in those movements. Dean was brave, tough and unique. He deserved someone who’ll make him happy, someone better than Benny.
When the hunt was finished and the Winchesters celebrated another victory, Benny downed his glass and capped the nearly empty decanter. He should probably get up and put it away, but he felt too relaxed to move. Maybe he’ll take a short nap in the recliner…?
Someone’s voice was pushing on the whisky-induced haze that surrounded his mind, sounding like little more than a whisper. Benny focused his eyes on the TV where it seemed to be coming from as John Winchester spoke directly into the camera: “…an enormous success in past fourteen years and we wouldn’t be able to do it without your support. That’s why this year we’ve decided to give a special reward to three of you. As you might know, every Christmas me and my boys go to Connecticut to spend holidays together. We catch our food, cook meals, exchange gifts and stories… For those three days we’re simply a family and it’s a very special time for all of us, because… family is everything.”
John Winchester paused. Even in his current state, Benny could clearly see the affection the older Alpha felt for his two sons, affection that lit his entire face and briefly made it impossible for him to speak.
Benny remembers the tragic story of why John Winchester became a professional hunter. Twenty-two years ago, John was a car mechanic, leading an average life in Kansas with his mate and two sons, earning just enough money to provide a simple, but comfortable life for them. One night a broken electrical outlet started a fire that consumed their entire house. John’s mate, Mary Winchester, was rushed to the hospital with serious burns and smoke inhalation. Despite doctors’ best efforts, she died two days later.
While that was heartbreaking on its own, what truly pushed John to become a wanderer was the reaction of Mary’s parents. They always disliked John and blamed him for failing to protect their daughter. They took the alpha to the court, claiming he was an unfit father for Dean and Sam. When it became clear the judge indented to grant Mary’s parents full custody, John packed up their remaining belongings and flew out of the country with his pups. It was no wonder that spending Christmas together meant so much to the Alpha.
“This year we’ve decided to celebrate that special time with our fans,” John continued, “and so, for the first time in show’s history, we’re going to shoot a Christmas Special. We’ll show a hunt for a deer, dinner preparations and various traditions like carol singing. And that’s where you,” John pointed a finger straight into the camera for emphasis, “come in. Each of you can send us a letter or an email explaining why you’re a fan of the show and why you’d like to meet us. From all application, we’ll chose three fans to join us during the filming of Christmas Special. You’ll stay for six days in our cottage in Connecticut…”
John Winchester kept going, but Benny couldn’t hear him anymore, excitement pounded in his heart, drowning the older Alpha’s words out.
This was an opportunity of a lifetime! Benny spent the last three years admiring Dean Winchester from afar, telling himself that he was at peace with the idea of never dating the gorgeous Omega. But there was a small ache in his heart exposing that lie for what it was. He would never be fully okay with it, because Dean was everything he ever wanted in a mate and he didn’t believe he would ever find anyone nearly as amazing as this omega. Not even Andrea, as wonderful as she was, could match Dean’s merits.
Andrea.
Those thoughts he fought so hard to drown out had reared their ugly head again. He failed to make Andrea happy… Why would he succeed with Dean?
“You should apply,” a warm voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
Benny jerked his head toward the half-opened door where someone was standing and watching him. It took a second before his blurry vision sharpened enough for him to recognize Lenore, now dressed in casual clothes and with a bag hanging over her shoulder.
“It would do you a lot of good if you met with Dean,” Lenore continued. “You could confront your image of him with reality and, who knows, maybe even start something more meaningful.”
A moment ago that was what Benny planned to do, but thankfully regained his sanity and remembered why it was an awful idea. “What for?” he responded, shrugging his shoulders. “So he’d eventually realize I’m not good for him and abandon me for someone better? No point in wasting his time like that.”
“Benny.” He hated the mournful way Lenore said his name. It reminded him how much of a failure he was and that they were both aware of it. “It’s not healthy for you to be sitting here and reminiscing about what happened. You have to move on—“
Of course she meant well, she always did. But right now Benny couldn’t listen to her, not when wounds in his chest were freshly torn and bleeding, Lenore’s every word feeling like a claw grating over them.
“That’s none of your business!” he snapped.
Lenore stopped talking and Benny refused to look in her direction, focusing his eyes on the screen even if he wasn’t actually paying attention to the commercial playing. The cheerful music and excited voices of actors praising the product provided a sharp contrast to the heavy silence filling the bunkroom. Benny fought the urge to speak first, to apologize for shouting when Lenore only tried to help. He was sick to death of everyone looking down on him, a useless Alpha who chased his Omega away. Why won’t people just let him live in peace instead of constantly reawakening the shame he felt?
“Right…” Lenore eventually said, her voice quieter. “I’ll see you on Monday then.”
She turned away, but paused for a few seconds longer as if she considered saying something else. Whatever it was, remained unspoken and she walked away. Soon after Benny heard the sound of front door opening and then closing.
With shaking hands, he unscrewed the bottle and poured the last of the whisky into his glass, leaning his head back against the headrest and keeping his eyes closed. Benny nursed the liquor trying to forget about the guilt of the way he treated his friend, about the painful break-up with Andrea that still haunted him, and about the contest he wanted to join.
None of it mattered. He was just a sad, defeated Alpha who couldn’t do anything right.
What was the point of trying to change it?
***
It was two months later, the beginning of November. It was another calm Saturday after Benny’s shift had ended. The alpha was grooming his beard when a phone in the reception started ringing. Benny glanced over his shoulder, surprised by the sound – in the years he spent working as a park ranger, the phone rarely rang. He dropped his scissors in the sink and rushed out of the bathroom, hastily drying his beard on the way to the front desk.
He picked up the receiver and started talking before it was even properly pressed against his ear: “Lover’s Leap State Park, Park Ranger’s Office. How can I help you?”
“Hello,” came an official-sounding response. “This is Ellen Harvelle, an executive producer of ‘Alpha vs. Wilderness’ TV show. May I talk to Benjamin Lafitte?”
“S-speaking,” Benny faltered. Was he hearing it right?
“Good to hear you, Mr. Lafitte. I’m calling to announce that you’ve been selected as one of three winners of our contest and you’ll be joining us in December to shoot Christmas Special. Congratulations!”
The firm, but polite voice still resounded in Benny’s ear for a couple of seconds after she stopped talking and he stood there, frozen in place, staring out of the cabin’s front window. A drop of water hung dangerously from his half-trimmed beard, threatening to drop down if he doesn’t wipe it off.
Selected in the content? Joining them in December to shoot Christmas Special? It didn’t make any sense. No, he must’ve misunderstood what she was saying.
“Mr. Lafitte?”
The drop of water split away and landed on his bare chest, where it continued its slow descent downward.
“There must be some sorta mistake,” he finally managed. “I didn’t enter the content.”
A muffled shuffling of papers came from the other side, followed by Mrs. Harvelle’s confused voice as she read: “’Benjamin Lafitte, age 30, Alpha. I’ve worked as a Park Ranger in Lover’s Leap State Park for past seven years and I’ve always took weekend shifts my co-workers despise, specifically to catch new episodes of ‘Alpha vs. Wilderness’, because I don’t own a TV at home. I’ve always loved nature and had interest in hunting, so John’s show deeply resonated with me. To me it’s not just a TV show I watch out of boredom. It offered me comfort in dark moments and allowed me to forget how lonely my life sometimes feels.’ Is this correct?”
Everything she’s read was right, but the words sounded alien to him.
“Yes, but… I didn’t write it.”
“In that case you must have a good friend who made you a surprise,” Mrs. Harvelle concluded.
Benny closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath.
Lenore.
“Would you be interested in filming the Christmas Special with us even though you didn’t personally enter yourself?” Mrs. Harvelle asked warily.
He opened his mouth to say “no”, because how dare Lenore apply in his name?! She probably thought she was very generous by setting him up to meet a guy he had a crush on for years…
But then he remembered about Dean.
That beautiful, tough as nails Omega who ventured around the world, hunting dangerous animals while wearing that stunning smile. So different from other Omegas Benny met throughout the years. He wanted so desperately to hold Dean in his arms and kiss him until they both run out of breath, then explore every inch of his body hardened by years of hard work.
And now he had a chance at fulfilling that dream. It wasn’t what if anymore, but something that was happening right now. Was he seriously going to turn it away, because he was annoyed at Lenore for sticking her nose in his love life – not out of malice, but out of genuine concern?
He closed his eyes, letting his burning attraction for Dean and the bubbling anger at Lenore rage against one another. He didn’t know how long he stood there, waiting for a winner, but probably not that long, as Ms. Harvelle hadn’t interrupted him once to ask for an answer or offer to call back later. In the end it wasn’t a hard choice to make.
“Yes, I’m in.”
There was an audible relief in Mrs. Harvelle’s voice. “I’m glad to hear that. Welcome aboard, Mr. Lafitte. The shooting starts on Monday, December 10th and you need to be here on Sunday afternoon at the latest, so we can give you a crash course on how things are gonna work: shooting, what we expect from you, what’s not allowed. Very standard stuff. I’ll call you in a week to discuss a few more details. Is next Saturday alright?”
“Fine by me.”
“It was a pleasure, Mr. Laffite. I’ll talk to you soon.”
With a soft click the line went dead and Benny slowly put the receiver down, his mind in desperate rush to digest what he’s just heard. In a month and a half he’d be seeing Dean Winchester in real life, and have a chance to win his affection, exactly as he dreamed for such a long time. And all thanks to…
A faint wave of anger once again resurfaced in his mind and Benny quickly dialed the familiar phone number, punching buttons with more force than necessary. He didn’t have to wait long for connection as Lenore picked up after only two signals “Hello?”
“I told you, my love life is none of your business!” Benny growled.
There was a pause, during which he squeezed the receiver hard enough to make the plastic crackle in protest in his white-knuckled grip.
“You were invited into the show?” Lenore deduced eventually.
“Yes,” Benny confirmed, his annoyance subduing a little at the sound of her careful tone. “Thanks to application I didn’t send. After I specifically told you to leave it alone.”
Lenore sighed on the other end. “I’m sorry for overstepping here. It’s just… what happened between you and Andrea—“
“I don’t want to talk about it!”
“I know and I understand,” she placated. “The problem is that you also don’t do anything to deal with your emotions. You spend all of your free time at work or drinking and it’s clearly eating you from the inside. I’m worried of what’s going to happen to you.”
Somewhere in Benny’s chest a thread of shame awoke, causing him to wince. Lenore tried to help him since that night Andrea walked out of his life and he got wasted in a local bar. He wasn’t in a state to get up from a table without help, let alone return to his now empty home. So the barman borrowed the alpha’s cell and tried calling someone to collect him. Lenore was the only one to pick up. She walked in fifteen minutes later and saw the sad lump left of him thanks to hours of stubborn drinking. He was laying on the table, alcohol spilled all around him and slurring some words he didn’t recall later.
At least that was the lie he repeated to Lenore and himself. In reality he remembered quite a bit of what he said: pathetic apologies to Andrea for failing her and helpless promises to do better if she gave him another chance. Benny wasn’t sure Lenore believed his lie. Probably not, but she never brought it up.
Throughout those three years Lenore always offered a silent comfort and spent as much time with Benny as possible, allowing his tired mind some relief from constant longing. But he saw subtle signs: the more his thoughts became subdued, the bigger the pain grew in Lenore’s eyes. He didn’t understand it. He was slowly getting over the break-up in his own way, so why had Lenore looked at him like he was on a death row? Sad. Disappointed. Pity. Shouldn’t she be happy he was able to go through his days without a problem? Why had she felt the need to meddle in his life as if there was still a huge problem to resolve?
“You had no right,” Benny repeated, this time he’d run out of steam.
“Please, just enjoy your time on the set, alright?” Lenore’s voice was warm like a honey, slowly enveloping Benny’s heart in protective embrace. Under it the anger and shame he felt disappeared, leaving him tired. “Meet Dean, talk to him. Isn’t that what you wanted? I’m sure it’s going to be good for you.”
“Sure. I’ll do that.”
Afterward he cleaned the bathroom sink, deciding to leave trimming his beard for later, and he ventured to the bunkroom to fish a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the mini-bar. Several glasses of the drink helped him slip into that pleasant numbness and let him focus on the prospect of meeting the beautiful Omega who frequently appeared in his sweetest dreams…