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Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t make it to his coming of age ceremony. Neither does Todoroki Shouto. For a different reason but stemming from the same grounds. Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t see Todoroki Shouto turn 20. Todoroki Shouto turns 20 without him knowing it. His days blend in together, each day is the same as the previous, the same as the next. He was living but not living.
Todoroki remembers his blood running cold when Bakugou came home one evening at the start of winter holding an ominous white A4 envelope. He remembers the way Bakugou told him that he has been through testings lately. That he has had blood tests over and over, thinking that the results were abnormal because of other reasons.
Bakugou speaks but Todoroki can’t really understand it all, his head is all muddled. He stares at Bakugou in confusion and shock. He hopes that it’s all a dream. Lack for a better phrase, he can’t come to terms with his current situation. Their current situation.
“Shouto”, Bakugou calls out to the other, “Shouto, listen to me”. He even knows when Todoroki had zoned out and calls him out appropriately.
Todoroki shakes his head and walks up to Bakugou to hold him in his embrace. He’s listening, he just isn’t understanding.
Bakugou sighs and then tries to gently push Todoroki off, but, Todoroki doesn’t let the other go so Bakugou pushes harder and harder, he uses more force until he is somewhat free. “Shouto, this won’t end well for me”.
“Katsuki”, Todoroki has a gut feeling he should expect the worse to come out from Bakugou’s mouth, “don’t”.
“Shouto”, Bakugou says again. This time his tone is more stressed. “What are you going to do with someone who is going to die before the New Year?”
“That’s still four weeks”, Todoroki can hear himself choke up in tears and he wants to know why Bakugou isn’t the one crying. “We might even find a cure and we’ll have forever together and not just four weeks”.
“Shouto”, Bakugou sighs, “stop. You know, and I know. We both know”.
“I can’t”, Todoroki admits. He reaches around to squeeze Bakugou’s hands tightly. He wants Bakugou to understand that even though this news changes so many things, it doesn’t change everything. He still loves Bakugou.
Bakugou doesn’t apologise. Todoroki doesn’t want him to apologise. He doesn’t tell Todoroki to stop crying either. Bakugou does wear a painful expression as he wipes away Todoroki’s tears.
They don’t sleep that night. The ominous white envelope sits on their kitchen table, unopened.
“What are we going to do?” Todoroki asks as he sits next to Bakugou on their couch, their limbs touching, his hand cradling Bakugou’s own.
Bakugou’s head is hanging down. He takes his head back from Todoroki’s hold as he lifts his head up to look at Todoroki. “We should break up”.
Todoroki feels his world come to a stop again. No. He doesn’t want that. “No”.
Bakugou doesn’t look away.
“No”, Todoroki repeats. He’s probably greedy, but he wants all of Bakugou. And even more so knowing that he only has roughly four weeks left. Todoroki isn’t sure how much trust he can put into that number. Doctor or not, nothing is ever certain. “I want to be with you, Katsuki”.
“I-”, Bakugou tries to reword his thoughts. Todoroki knows that Bakugou wants to be with him too. He can see it in Bakugou. But. Why is there a but. “You have another one hundred years”, Bakugou says it slowly, “I have four weeks”.
“Katsuki, I want to spend it with you”, Todoroki tells the other, “I know you know that”.
Bakugou swallows thickly, “Do you know whether I want to spend it with you though?”
Todoroki’s lips part but nothing comes out. His heart feels painful and he wonders if that pain is the same pain that laces Bakugou’s tone of voice.
Shaking his head, Bakugou stands up, “It’s better if we break up now, before I can’t”.
Todoroki grits his teeth and his hands turn into fists. Maybe they both just need some time apart. But it’s time that neither of them has at the moment. Todoroki ends up not agreeing to their break up even as he walks Bakugou back to his family home. Bakugou doesn’t let Todoroki touch him. And it only serves to break Todoroki’s heart even more.
Bakugou clearly was holding in his tears because they all come flooding out once he arrives at his family home. Todoroki sits next to Bakugou as he tells his parents the news. Their tears, like Todoroki, won’t stop flowing.
When Mitsuki and Masaru tuck Bakugou into bed, Todoroki sits on the floor outside Bakugou’s childhood bedroom with his head in his arms and knees curled up. That’s supposed to be his responsibility. He’s the one who’s supposed to tuck Bakugou into bed every night. But Bakugou had said no.
Todoroki says no when Mitsuki and Masaru ask him to return home home so that he can rest. Their words stutter out in between choked sobs and Todoroki feels that watching two other people die before him doesn’t make much more of a difference to the grief he is already feeling. In fact, it might make him feel better. Because he isn’t the only one who loves Bakugou Katsuki.
For the rest of the night, Todoroki sits outside Bakugou’s room, his back against the door to Bakugou’s room. He can hear the muffled sobs of Bakugou’s parents Todoroki snuggles into the blanket he had graciously received from Masaru and thinks about a life without Bakugou Katsuki. It fries his brain. He doesn’t want it. The thought hurts. Knowing that it will happen is worse.
Just as Todoroki is shooting a text message to his company to file for leave, he hears footsteps from Bakugou’s room. He quickly presses the send button before he presses his ear against the door, hoping to hear more than just footsteps. There’s a thud against the door and then Bakugou’s sweet voice comes singing through. “Shouto”, Bakugou says.
“Ka-Katsuki”, Todoroki’s breath hitches and he holds his breath. “Can I come in?”
“No”, Bakugou answers straight away.
Todoroki breathing returns and he looks down at the floor in disappointment.
“We should break up”, Bakugou says again. Todoroki doesn’t want to hear those words from Bakugou.
“No, I don’t want to”, Todoroki insists, “please, Katsuki”.
“I can’t make you happy anymore, and I won’t be able to after I’m gone”, Bakugou’s voice is clear, it’s as though he wasn’t just sobbing his eyes out some two hours ago. “Please”, Bakugou pleads, “it’s what I want”.
What Bakugou wants. Todoroki swallows thickly. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply and then out again. “I love you”, Todoroki says and he expects Bakugou to say the same.
But Bakugou doesn’t, “Thank you”, is what Bakugou says.
And Todoroki wonders why it had to be Bakugou of all people. Someone so strong, so beautiful, someone who shines so bright and is the sun of the solar system, why Bakugou?
“I understand”, Todoroki says with an unsteady voice, “if it’s what Katsuki wants”.
Todoroki leaves the Bakugou household with an empty heart. His soul is somewhere and he isn’t sure he wants it back either.
Sitting in their shared home, all Todoroki has for company is the clock that ticks in their lounge. He listens to it and he wonders if he’ll ever be able to move out. He looks around the walls and sees all the photos and he walks towards them slowly and studies each photograph. He probably doesn’t ever want to move on.
It’s when Todoroki is going through the printed version of his Bakugou Katsuki album that the doorbell rings. It’s a delivery. He opens up the door, tiredly, but his fatigue is all sent flying when he is delivered a bouquet of blue hydrangeas.
His first thought is that they’re definitely not in season. He knows from years with Bakugou that they’re summer flowers. It’s winter. Where everything is bleak and life simply feels terrible for Todoroki. With a muted thanks, Todoroki takes the flowers and stamps the delivery man off.
He knows who the flowers are from. He knows the significance and the meaning of the flowers. Bakugou was breaking up with him for good.
Thank you for understanding.
Unlike Mitsuki and Masaru who patched up over a bouquet of blue hydrangeas. Katsuki and Shouto were breaking up over a bouquet of blue hydrangeas. Does he understand though? Kind of. Maybe somewhat. It was a lot of information to soak in. But even then, Todoroki doesn’t want to break up with Bakugou, he wants to continue loving Bakugou even beyond death. Is that too much to ask for? Todoroki takes out his phone and messages Bakugou.
Todoroki Shouto
I received the flowers
I want to see you.
Bakugou Katsuki
Okay.
No.
But Todoroki is stubborn. He wants to see Bakugou anyway. He quickly opens up google maps and finds that Bakugou is indeed at home. He rushes out straight away before Bakugou can catch onto what Todoroki is planning and turning off his location so that Todoroki can’t find out. And sure enough, it was only another few seconds before Todoroki was notified that Bakugou had stopped sharing location with him. He doubts Bakugou will travel far.
Todoroki doesn’t even bother politely knocking on the front door. He jumps straight up to Bakugou’s bedroom window and breaks in from there.
“Katsuki”, Todoroki says without a hitch in breath as he slides the window open and finds Bakugou standing on the other side of the room defensively.
“Shouto”, Bakugou lowers his guard before walking over to sit on the very edge. “I told you not to come”.
“I never listen well to you anyway”, Todoroki states, “and I’m not about to start now”.
Bakugou clicks his tongue in rude annoyance.
“I don’t want to break up after all”, Todoroki tells the other as he hops into the bedroom and slides the window shut.
“Breaking up doesn’t have to be mutual”, Bakugou crosses his arms and stares at Todoroki with a frown.
“It is for us”, Todoroki insists and sits next to Bakugou on the bed.
Bakugou scoffs. “Doesn’t even make sense”.
“I know you love me”, Todoroki has newfound confidence, he isn’t the half-ass Bakugou often accused him of back in high school. “I won’t accept you breaking up with me when you still love me”.
“I don’t care”, Bakugou insists.
“Yes you do”, Todoroki corrects, “otherwise you wouldn’t even propose the idea of breaking up”.
Bakugou growls.
“You told me you can’t make me happy anymore”, Todoroki shakes his head, “not true”.
Bakugou rolls his eyes. Even whilst facing death, he’s still so extravagant.
“I want to make you happy too, I know I can”, Todoroki reaches over to grab Bakugou’s hands tightly, not letting go even as Bakugou tries to shake him off.
“You can’t”, Bakugou says, “you can’t!” He repeats, louder this time.
“I can!” Todoroki replies with just as much force.
“No!” Bakugou is stubborn. “It hurts”, Bakugou winces as he tugs at Todoroki’s hold.
“S-Sorry”, Todoroki apologies, “my bad”, his grip loosens but he also scoots towards Bakugou.
“I don’t want to see you”, Bakugou states, eyes not meek nor looking away, “I wasn’t afraid when they told me of my imminent death, but when I came home and saw you, I was afraid of watching you die as you watched over me, each step till my final breath”. Bakugou’s tongue darts out and moistens his lips, “You looked as though there was nothing left”.
Todoroki breathes deeply.
“I can’t stand to look at that”, Bakugou shakes his head, “Shouto who looks like that, I hate it”.
“If!” Todoroki scoots closer to Bakugou, “Were I to not look like that, I can continue to stay by your side and make you happy?”
Todoroki could count on one hand the number of times he’s seen Bakugou cry. Not including sex because that’s a given almost. In this makeshift space of their own, Todoroki can’t help but let his tears fall too as he watches Bakugou’s face contort as he tries to hold back his tears. Todoroki cries even more when Bakugou lets him wipe his tears. And even more so when their kiss taste like their tears, wet and salty.
It’s when they return home hand in hand with the bouquet of hydrangeas sitting in a vase which Todoroki then sits at the kitchen table with Bakugou and they take apart the ominous white A4 envelope. Bakugou’s hand shakes as he takes out the file. Todoroki reaches over and places a warm and reassuring hand on Bakugou’s own, Bakugou looks up at him and all Todoroki can do is send him a smile.
Prognosis: Four weeks.
It’s all Todoroki reads before he thinks he doesn’t want to read any more. Dying from an inherited condition is common. Dying from an acquired disease isn’t. In today’s world where quirks bloom from all parts of the world, the hospital is no longer made up of health providers who have undergone the same or similar training, many with their unique quirks have undergone specialised training to make the health service a service even better than what could’ve been imagined.
However. Todoroki laments. Bakugou Katsuki can’t be saved. Even in this hierarchy where people are living better and longer. Bakugou has been given four weeks maximum left to live. He’s decided, he’s going to be there for Bakugou, for the four weeks and beyond.
“My next check-up is tomorrow”, Bakugou states as he skims read the files Todoroki had stopped reading.
“I’ll come with you”, Todoroki says straight away.
Bakugou pops his hand in Todoroki’s own and squeezes, “so long as they don’t tell me I don’t even have the four weeks”.
Todoroki squeezes back and brings Bakugou’s hand up to press his lips on Bakugou’s left fourth finger. He hopes that Bakugou understands that it’s a sign of his commitment and love towards him.
Masaru and Mitsuki’s red rimmed eyes feel like a broken mask to the smile they wear when they greet their son and Todoroki. Things change. Todoroki sees it but he doesn’t comment on it, because they all only have four weeks. It isn’t just Bakugou. Mitsuki wraps her arms around her son so tightly, Todoroki can’t look away. He holds tightly onto Bakugou’s hand even as Bakugou brings his arm up to hug his old hag back.
Bakugou doesn’t crack a smile, a smirk or a laugh when the variety shows are broadcasting on the TV. He tries though. And Todoroki can really tell. Because the Bakugou who lounges with his feet in Todoroki’s lap with a cup of tea in hand as he scoffs at the variety show is aloof and his form is all too telling of the power he has over Todoroki. Unlike now where Bakugou is consciously making an effort to reciprocate the attention his parents were giving him. And not the TV.
The hospital is a place Todoroki is use to. His mother was in one after all. He also knows it’s a place in which Bakugou absolutely loathes, after all, Bakugou has never had any good memories of the hospital. But then, who does? And now, it only serves as another stage for more memories for Todoroki to file later on. Todoroki places his hand on Bakugou’s knees as they both look away from the injection that presses into Bakugou’s arm. And then another and another and another.
Was it really necessary? The doctor speaks but it’s as though he’s speaking in a foreign language. Todoroki tries to understand, but he doesn’t really, all he hears is that the prognosis is still the same, that Bakugou still needs to come for check-ups – useless – and still needs to take regular medication – painkillers – and still needs steroids injected… it’s… it’s upsetting. He looks at Bakugou and thinks that Bakugou is the one who is the most upset, Bakugou who is filled with life will have that taken from him at such short notice. And, it’s Bakugou who is the most terrified.
Todoroki regrets not asking for good health at the shrines. They had even trekked through many during their Izumo trip, so why did he not ask for good health? It was a typical wish, it was something people wished for by default. Todoroki hates that he may have taken it for granted. He hates the fact that Bakugou is to be taken away from him. If it was a person, he could still defeat them, punch holes in them and burn them and take Bakugou back. But an illness… a sickness, how is he even going to defeat that?
He can’t.
They’re no longer able to go on long trips together. Todoroki regrets not taking Bakugou out on holidays more. Because now that time is running out, they can’t. Todoroki thinks about what they can do during this time, because there’s still so much left he wants to do together with Bakugou. He wants to go on more hiking trips, he wants to go snowboarding with the other, he wants to go onsen, he wants to go visit more towns and cities around the world. He wants to go on food tours with Bakugou and take all the selfies they can. And it’s not just travelling, he wants to just spend time with Bakugou, whether it’s on patrol, at the scene, at home, in the bath, all of it, he wants more and more of it.
But there is still something he can still do with Bakugou. And he will do it.
Todoroki waits for Bakugou to fall asleep on the couch after he eats with his parents in his family home before carrying Bakugou up to his bedroom to sleep more comfortably in. He quietly goes down the stairs again before he kneels in front of Bakugou’s parents, his hands are sweaty even as he places it on his knees. He looks up from the floorboard and towards them with a determined face, “I would like to marry Katsuki, please give me your blessings”.
It’s silent as Masaru and Mitsuki look at each other and then at Todoroki.
“I will look after him”, Todoroki blabbers out, thinking of how else he can convince Bakugou’s parents and receive their blessing.
“Todoroki-kun”, Masaru interrupts as he kneels on a knee and places a hand on Todoroki’s shoulder, “thank you”.
Todoroki looks at him with a smile.
“But”, Masaru shakes his head.
Todoroki’s smile drops just as quickly, “Why?” Todoroki’s hands grip tightly, “Am I not fit?”
Mitsuki covers her face and turns around. She breathes in deeply over and over again.
“No, you’re perfect”, Masaru reassures Todoroki, “it’s just, Katsuki-kun is leaving soon, we wouldn’t want you to tie yourself down like that”.
“If that’s the only reason, then please let me be selfish”, Todoroki almost best, “I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, I want to show him that”, Todoroki breathes in deeply, “that I still love him”.
“Both Mama and I really appreciate it, Todoroki-kun”, Masaru nods, “but for your sake, you may want to reconsider”.
Todoroki shakes his head, “Katsuki makes me happy and I can make him happy”. Todoroki swallows loudly, “I want Katsuki to be happy”.
Masaru looks away from Todoroki and then with some awkward movements he leans in and wraps his arms around Todoroki, “Thank you, Todoroki-kun”. Masaru repeats himself again, “Thank you so much, Todoroki-kun”.
Todoroki returns the hug, when he looks up at Mitsuki, she still has her back towards them both, but her gratitude is heard in between the sobs. He feels happy. He hopes that Bakugou will feel just as elated as he does at his proposal. Once things calm down, Todoroki returns to Bakugou’s room and he sits on the floor next to Bakugou, watching as Bakugou sleeps. He’s beautiful.
The fleeting thought of thinking how amusing it was to watch Todoroki’s slumbering face passes through Bakugou’s mind as he wakes up to see Todoroki lying beside him, asleep but holding his hand. In this moment, he hates it. He hates that he won’t get many chances to see Todoroki sleep. And already he feels envious of the person who will.
Todoroki stirs and Bakugou wipes the pout off his face. A frown naturally settles on his face. Todoroki gives him a smile and tries to press the frown out of Bakugou’s features with feather light kisses. They stare at each other with their hands connected in a warmth they have created for themselves.
“Just like how you are watching me”, Bakugou squeezes Todoroki’s hand lightly, “watching me die right now, I want you to have someone who will watch you die too”.
“Katsuki”, Todoroki brings their connected hand up and he presses his lips against the back of Bakugou’s hand.
“I wanted that person to be me”, Bakugou acknowledges, “I dreamt of us growing old together, watching each other die”.
“We can”, Todoroki reassures Bakugou, “we can still”.
Bakugou chuckles and Todoroki knows he will miss that beautiful sound.
“I promise you”, Todoroki whispers to Bakugou as he brushes his lips against Bakugou’s knuckles, “so, marry me, Katsuki”.
Bakugou studies Todoroki’s expression after his proposal. “Shouto, you do remember I don’t even have four weeks left, right?”
“Yes”, Todoroki answers confidently.
“Are you an idiot?” Bakugou asks with a frown.
Todoroki shrugs, “You call me that all the time but I don’t often associate myself with stupidity”
Bakugou rolls his eyes.
“I can be your idiot”, Todoroki offers, “I already am though”.
“If you’re sure you’re fine with me”, Bakugou murmurs, comforted by the gentle fingers that stroke the back of his hand.
“I am”, Todoroki perks up and gives Bakugou a smile, “you?”
“Me too”, Bakugou looks at Todoroki through his fluttering lashes, he tilts his head slightly and Todoroki knows to press their lips together.
They go shopping for wedding bands soon after they send out the very short notice for a small wedding ceremony held just amongst family and friends. Todoroki beamed when Bakugou seemed genuinely excited. Todoroki thinks he can give up so much for Bakugou, for him to continue with his confident attitude and wide smirks. It pleases Todoroki.
Todoroki has gotten to the point where talking about the future tugs at his heart and leaves him feeling pain tingle through his limbs. He could tell you all of his nerve endings at this point in time. But they do talk about the future, about if Bakugou does make it to the new year, how they’d spend it out on the streets amongst the crowds at the temple even though Bakugou hates people. They talk about how they’ll line up at the temple waiting to ring the bell and pray in the cold all covered up from head to toe. They talk about maybe sending the media a notice ahead of time just so the media can take photos of them together at the temple. Fun? Definitely not in the past, but now, yeah.
The hospital becomes routine after several visits. Todoroki doesn’t need to hear it from the doctor, he can see it himself, that Bakugou isn’t doing any better. They don’t expect him to.
On the day Bakugou tells Todoroki that he probably won’t make it to Todoroki’s twentieth birthday, Todoroki finds it hard to tell Bakugou how he feels. He can’t even reassure Bakugou, because he knows that Bakugou probably won’t make it to his birthday.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Bakugou asks.
Todoroki can’t have what he wants. He presses his forehead against Bakugou’s own and looks into the other’s tired eyes. What he wants is in front of him right now, but he can’t keep Bakugou by his side.
Their noses nudge gently and Bakugou speaks again, “Doesn’t matter, I already got you something”.
Todoroki raises his eyebrows.
“What? You don’t want a present?” Bakugou asks, a teasing tone to his voice.
“I do”, Todoroki answers quickly. But what he wants most is for Bakugou to be with him forever.
“Sorry”, Bakugou whispers very quietly. Todoroki barely catches it. “I can’t give you what you really want”, Bakugou explains.
Todoroki holds Bakugou close and presses kisses all over his face, “You can’t give me something I already have, because I already have what I want in my arms”.
And Bakugou laughs and tells Todoroki that he loves him.
Even when Bakugou was teased mercilessly by his friends for the sudden wedding and accusations of it being a shot gun wedding, he takes it like he normally does, a fiery temper and chewing on anyone who dares imply that he was pregnant. Not possible.
It’s a cold wintery day when the ceremony is held. Their vows are exchanged and they both choke up in tears as they hold each other’s hands and recite their honest feelings towards each other. Death is a touchy subject for them both. Todoroki won’t love Bakugou till death. He will continue to love him beyond death. The same amount he has for him at the moment, and maybe, even more. Love after all is versatile and will continue to grow. Bakugou was once hesitant but he accepts it with Shouto’s hands in his own.
The wedding bands on their ring finger is a symbol of their devotion to each other. Weddings are a beautiful ceremony, the ties that bind two together, forever is something that is much celebrated. Yet as Todoroki and Bakugou press their lips together knowing that they soon won’t be able to kiss each other anymore, they’re not terrified.
Even the stubborn wind can’t make the day bleak for them both. Even as they take photos with a bare tree, Todoroki doesn’t think that it symbolises death, but instead, a chance for growth. It doesn’t matter if the day is covered in grey clouds, Bakugou stood out brightly and shone radiantly, he made everything light up in Todoroki’s eyes.
Todoroki chuckles when Bakugou pulls out snacks hidden in his pocket and munches on it in between photos, he offers Todoroki some and Todoroki cheekily takes more than just a small bite, easily gobbling up all the snacks in Bakugou’s hand.
The number of tears shed at the wedding overwhelms Todoroki when he realises that apart from Bakugou’s parents, Todoroki himself and his now husband, no one else in the room knows that Bakugou will soon be leaving them all. When All Might arrives to congratulate them both, Todoroki eyes Bakugou and sees the way he lights up as though he still had all the time in the world. Todoroki won’t admit that he is kind of jealous of the admiration Bakugou has for All Might.
When Endeavour approaches them with a small smile and a pat on their shoulders, Bakugou looks up at him with the similar admiration he had for All Might. This time, Todoroki doesn’t mind letting his jealousy seep through as he sticks closer to Bakugou like glue, he feels stupid for being jealous of his own father.
When Midoriya comes up to congratulate them, Bakugou obviously does not even shake Midoriya’s hands despite him being Todoroki’s best man. Though at the end of the night, Bakugou lets Midoriya hold his shoulders gently. But that’s all he’ll get. And only for two seconds before the hands are brushed off and Bakugou winds his arms through Todoroki’s again.
That night, Todoroki discovers another new mole on Bakugou’s back. Their scheduled appointment at the hospital then gets pushed forward. The irregular hyperpigmentation is examined. Its removal was offered. Bakugou’s expression doesn’t change as he denies the offer, “I’m dying soon anyway”.
It’s words that Todoroki understands as acceptance.
Todoroki finds it difficult to be asleep for too long because he wants to keep watch over Bakugou just to make sure the other is still there with him. He’s scared of losing Bakugou despite knowing that they will soon part.
Together, they watch TV coverage of their wedding together and flip through magazines detailing their sudden marriage. Todoroki is technically not even twenty yet and it becomes quite the topic that is discussed. Bakugou muses over the fact that once this wind blows over, he will eventually become a pro-hero who will be forgotten. It’s not like he’s a highly ranked hero. A popular one, infamous, nefarious, sure.
“But not one celebrated enough for people to remember me once I pass”, Bakugou sighs and rests his head on Todoroki’s shoulder, he plays with Todoroki’s fingers as the TV plays in the background. “Shouto, will you remember me?”
Todoroki nods, “How can I not?” He loves Bakugou after all. They’re married. “Your personality is a personal attack on me, of course I won’t forget you”.
Bakugou snorts before he changes the tilt of his head so that he can press his lips on Todoroki’s jawline, “You idiot”.
“Your idiot”, Todoroki corrects.
Bakugou looks down at their intertwined fingers before he next speaks. “I get jealous easily”.
“I know”, Todoroki agrees, “I do too”.
“But”, Bakugou squeezes Todoroki’s hand, “after I’m gone, I promise I won’t be mad if you… if you, you know…”
Todoroki looks at Bakugou who doesn’t look at him. He thinks that if Bakugou were given the chance, this is where he’d give him another bouquet of blue hydrangeas. But he won’t, because even though Todoroki does understand, he doesn’t at the same time.
Bakugou takes a sharp intake of breath and then finishes off his sentence, “If you find someone else, someone who will watch you die”.
They say that love is watching someone die. But as Todoroki watches over Bakugou whose breathing is shallow and brows knitted up together, he thinks for Bakugou, love is watching the pain he goes through himself as he lets his loved one watch him die.