Chapter Text
Cole Phelps once had everything going right for him, but after a series of events, it saw him in the river tunnels of Los Angeles, realising that he was about to die without saying goodbye to his children, without apologising to his wife, without cleaning up his name. He was going to be swept away by the rushing water and it was the end of everything. Even in his last moments, he couldn’t even apologise to Jack Kelso, everything got caught in his throat and all he could force out was a laboured goodbye to him and Elsa. The water took him and he could only let it take his breath away, giving into the ungraceful death for a disgraced detective.
He woke up alone, cold, wet, and confused. He had no idea how he had got here and he had no idea who he was. Cole Phelps had no recollection of any of the things that had flashed before his eyes as he thought he would die. Thoughts of his wife, his career, his daughters, his lover, his friends, his enemies, they had all fallen away and he was a nobody. He had nothing to show who he was, either losing all his possessions in the water or being robbed while he laid at his most vulnerable. He slowly began to move, getting up to the streets, walking aimlessly as people stared at him with confusion, most of them avoiding him. He didn’t stop walking, going in circles for at least a couple of days. He finally gave in, sitting on a bench, head in his hands, trying to force himself to remember something, anything…
The walk home was usually pretty uneventful, but tonight, she couldn’t help but notice the man sat on the bench. He was wet, shivering, and all around dishevelled. There was no way that she could just walk away from him and let him sit there, especially now she could hear him sobbing quietly. Her heart was beginning to break and so she had to help him. Right now, it didn’t matter to her what was going on, he needed help and she was going to be the one who offered it to her. Quickly, she walked over and sat herself beside him on the bench.
“You okay, mister? Wait, that’s a silly question… what’s wrong?” she asked him softly.
“I… I don’t know where I am, I don’t even know who I am.”
“That sure is a tough spot. But if it helps, you’re in Los Angeles…” she smiled awkwardly, noticing no change in his demeanour. “Do you know how you got here?”
“No… I just woke up on the bank of the river a day or two ago, I’m not sure. I don’t know how I got there or anything,” he said, putting his head in his hands.
“Oh hey, it’s gonna be okay,” she put her arm around his shoulders. “I know we don’t know each other, but I wanna help you. What can I do?”
“W-what do you mean?”
“I want to help. Why don’t I bring you home, you can have a shower, warm up a bit, I can get you some clean clothes, maybe make you something to eat, how does that sound?”
“You’d really do that?” he sniffed loudly.
“I can’t just leave you here shivering and all alone, that jus wouldn’t be very decent of me.”
“You have a very kind heart, miss.”
“Thank you, now come on,” she slowly slipped her arm into his and smiled softly, getting to her feet and helping him up. “Oh this really won’t do,” she said as she felt how cold he was. She took her jacket off and slowly placed it around him and rubbed his shoulders slightly, warming him up just a little.
“Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around,” he said, finally cracking a weak smile.
“Maybe, but it’s the way it is today,” she smiled, starting to lead him off towards her apartment.
“What’s your name, I’m going to need to know who to thank after all?”
“Elizabeth, but all my friends just call me Betty.”
“So Elizabeth-”
“No, call me Betty, please,” she smiled softly.
“I’ve known you a few minutes and I’m already your friend.”
“Why not? I don’t have enough friends anyway…”
The two continued to walk down the road, turning a few times as they continued their chat until they finally arrived at the apartment building. She led him up the stairs and then opened the door to her small apartment. It wasn’t a lot, in fact, it was next to nothing; a tiny kitchen with a dining table and chairs, a living room, and a bedroom with an en suite. She closed the door behind them and gave him the grand tour, pointing at the bedroom door and saying that also led to the shower where he could get cleaned up. She wouldn’t listen to his protests and told him to get in there and she would go next door and speak to her neighbours for some help.
While the stranger went into the bathroom to get cleaned up, she stepped out, knocking on the door next to hers, knowing she could get some help there. Her neighbour opened the door, a young girl like her, the only difference was that she was married.
“Sorry to bother you, and sorry for this crazy request, but would it be alright to borrow some of your husband’s clothes? I know, I know, it sounds insane Doris, but I found this man-”
“You finally found a man, Betty, you dark horse, where d’you find him?”
“Enough, it’s not like that. He’s in a really bad state, I think he might be homeless, but he’s lost his memory, he doesn’t know who he is or even where he is. I would just really appreciate the help.”
“Are you sure he’s not tricking you? I’m not saying you’re a soft touch, but Betty, you can’t just let men into your home because they tell you they don’t remember their name…”
“I really think he’s telling the truth.”
“Why don’t you go back over there and I’ll bring some clothes with me, but I’m gonna stay with you for a bit, just to check him out.”
“I’m gonna be fine, but I also know you’re not gonna take no as an answer, are you?
She shook her head.
“Fine, I’ll see you in a few…”
Betty knew that maybe she had reacted a little over-enthusiastically, but part of her just couldn’t leave him there and there was no way she could just dump him on someone else. She wanted to look after him and if he has played on her good nature, then it was him who should be ashamed. She came back into her apartment and started to consider what she could make for them. Guests weren’t exactly a common occurrence for her and she definitely wasn’t used to cooking for two, especially when her main meal was sandwiches. The trick her mother always taught her was meat, vegetables and a stock makes a great stew when you have company. She started to prepare everything, cutting up some carrots and checking for a tin of peas, she placed them both into a pot and started to mix up the stock from powder, then there was that knock on the door.
“It’s open, Doris.”
“So, where is he?” she asked as she walked in.
“He’s having a shower at the moment.”
“Alright, you take him these,” she placed the clothes in Betty’s hands, “and I’ll keep an eye on dinner.”
“It isn’t on the hob yet, but it’s all on the counter if you wanna start cooking it,” Betty flashed her a toothy grin before heading off.
She cracked open the bedroom door ever so slightly and saw that he was out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Part of her knew that she should take a step back and knock on the door, but she could help but study him in this moment as he sat on the edge of the bed. He buried his head in his hands, sighing heavily as he sniffed loudly, choking back tears once more. Knocking on the door, she pushed it open slowly, giving him the chance to recover his composure. Once she was in the room, she smiled sweetly at him, pretending that she hadn’t seen him vulnerable once more.
“I borrowed some clothes from a neighbour, I hope they’re alright,” she smiled, placing them on the bed. “I’ll leave you to get changed,” she turned to leave.
“Betty… what am I supposed to do?”
“Oh…” she turned back, sitting next to him on the bed, “I really don’t know, I don’t think this is kind of thing you can find a guidebook for. I don’t know if you will get your memories back, I don’t know how it works. Maybe now is just when you start a new life,” she carefully took his hand.
“I don’t even know my own name… there was nothing in my pockets, I didn’t even have a jacket.”
“Well, why don’t we give you a new name? You can reinvent yourself as whoever you want.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start for a new name…”
“How about your favourite actor? Like Gregory, or Cary, Jimmy?”
“I… I don’t know any of those people,” he was ready to crack.
“That’s alright, don’t worry about that at all,” she squeezed his hand softly. “Would you like me to give you a name?”
He looked up at her. “Would you?
“Of course,” she beamed a smile at him, “now… let me see…”
The hand that wasn’t holding on to his carefully tilted his face towards her so she could see him in the light. Of course she had noticed that he was handsome, she wasn’t a complete idiot, but now she could see him all cleaned up and finally with a small amount of joy in his life, she couldn’t help but fall ever so slightly in love with him. His piercing blue eyes seemed to have see horrors beyond her wildest imagination that he would never be able to remember. He looked stern, but something about him still felt soft and gentle. She let her hand fall from his face and smiled warmly.
“What about Johnny?”
“I like it,” he nodded with a little beaming smile.
“Well alright Johnny, wanna help me out in the kitchen?”
“Maybe I should get dressed first.”
She blushed ever so slightly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll be in the kitchen once you’re dressed.”
She finally let go of his hand, feeling him resisting her trying to let go, almost as if he wanted to keep her here. Once she had let go of his hand, she gave his shoulder a small squeeze and then left the room, closing the door behind her. Doris had kept herself busy in the kitchen, almost being finished cooking the dinner and even taking some time out to fix some drinks. Betty leant against the kitchen counter as she looked to her, taking the short of whisky and sipping a small amount.
“Well, I’ve given him a name… Johnny, he’s just getting dressed now.”
“He doesn’t even remember his name?”
“He doesn’t even know who Cary Grant is…”
“Tough break, what does he say happened?”
“No idea, he just woke up on the riverbank with no memories.”
“You sure know how to pick ‘em…”
“I couldn’t leave him, he just looked so sad… What if he’s got a family out there who are looking for him? What if he has kids?”
“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry about it.”
The bedroom door clicked open and Johnny emerged. The clothes were perhaps a touch too big, but at least he finally looked comfortable. He smiled awkwardly towards Betty, a little nervous about the presence of Doris but he bit his tongue, it wasn’t his place to say anything, especially since this wasn’t his home.
“Johnny, this is Doris, Doris lives next door with her husband.”
“I hear you’re in quite the predicament, Johnny.”
“I guess you could say that ma’am… and thankfully Betty is taking care of me now.”
“Oh, she’s Betty already, huh?” Doris crossed her arms across her chest. “So where you planning to stay tonight?”
“I… er- I hadn’t really thought about it…” he nervously looked to Betty.
“He’s staying here tonight Doris, of course he is, I’m not just gonna throw him back onto the streets.”
“Betty, you’ve already helped me out so much, I couldn’t put you out even more.”
“Don’t be so silly, I’m not letting you go back out there with no where to go or anyone else to help you. You’re stay here, no questions.”
“The dinner is almost ready, oh, I hope you don’t mind too much Betty, but I invited Carlos over and the four of us could eat together.”
“Oh… sure, that’s fine,” she lied coolly. Part of her knew that she’d done that to keep an eye on Johnny, to protect Betty just in case, but it just frustrated her because she was old enough to look after herself, she didn’t need baby sitting any more.
“Good. He’s just getting cleaned up from after work, so he should be over soon.”
“Well, I guess we better get everything set up for dinner then.”
Betty downed the rest of the whisky and placed it on the side. She was suddenly very thankful that her parents had this idea of her being married quickly after moving to Los Angeles and having dinner parties with all of her other married friends because it meant that she had a set dinnerware for four people. She pulled the bowls out of the cupboard and made her way to the small table. Before she could get to the table, Johnny smiled, taking the bowls from her and starting to set them up on the table and Betty went back to the drawers, grabbing the cutlery and setting it down. Doris reduced the heat to leave the stew to simmer and took the drinks to the table, pouring Betty another as well. There was a knock on the door and Doris announced that it was unlocked and in walked Carlos.
The door clicked behind Carlos and he smiled warily in the direction of Johnny, shooting a quick look to Betty and then to Doris, trying to gauge whether or not this was a safe situation. He stepped forward and offered his hand to Johnny, who took it and shook it firmly. At least he wasn’t a weird limp wrested shaker.
“Name’s Carlos, Doris’ husband.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Johnny,” he smiled.
The two men sat at the table while Doris started to spoon the stew into the bowls on the table and Betty cut up the loaf of bread, putting the slices on a plate for everyone to share throughout the meal. Everything was in place and the women sat at the table.
“So, what do you do Johnny?”
“Oh… well, I’m assuming Doris didn’t tell you my situation then…”
“I found Johnny today, downtown near where I work, he doesn’t have any memories of who he was.”
“Well, that’s quite the problem. No ID either?”
“No, I didn’t have a jacket, and nothing in my pants pockets.”
“Maybe God’s giving you a second chance at something, Johnny.”
“Perhaps…” Johnny started to think.
“Now, now, sweetie,” Doris cooed at her husband, “maybe it’s just something bad happening to a good man,” she said, lighting a cigarette.
“Either way, I don’t think it should matter all that much, you’re here now, in this moment, that’s what we’re going to deal with,” Betty said softly, placing her hand on top of his.
“You’re right, there’s no point dwelling on a past I can’t remember.”
“Exactly,” she gave his hand a little squeeze, “we’ll get you on the right path.”
“You gotta make a living in this town if you’re gonna get by,” Carlos chimed in.
“How would he even do that without an identity?” Doris asked.
“I can’t make any promises, but I can speak to my boss, he hires illegals on the down low, so I can’t see why he wouldn’t mind all that much,” Carlos shrugged.
“Would you talk to him? That would be a real help,” Betty smiled brightly.
“It’s very decent of you to offer,” Johnny smiled slightly.
“Like I said, I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to him,” he offered with a wave of the hand.
“Thank you,” Betty said honestly.
“Well, once he’s getting money and on his feet, he can get on with his life elsewhere.”
“That’s a long way off,” Betty side-eyed Carlos before turning to Johnny with a soft smile, “don’t worry, I won’t throw you out just because you got a little money.”
“Of course, once I have enough to get out of your hair,” Johnny said, half serious, half sad.
“No, once you’re on your feet, just because you have cash doesn’t mean you’ll be okay, I’m not having you out there still struggling with your memories,” she said firmly.
“Just hope the neighbours don’t talk,” Carlos snarked.
“Carlos!” Doris tapped him on the leg.
“If they want to gossip, let them. I’m not going to let their words stop me from helping someone in need.”
“And rightly so,” Doris backed her up.
“So you’re not worried that they’ll talk about the single girl who suddenly has a man living with her, a man no one has ever seen before, and he lives here, sleeping here, while there’s no sign of a ring?”
“It’ll be none of their concern, they can keep their noses out.”
“They won’t though, will they? You know what the people around here are like.”
“Carlos, please, she’s trying to do a good thing.”
“How much do we really know about this bum? What if this good thing turns around and bites her in the ass?”
“I’m an adult, if it does, I’ll take responsibility for that. But I trust Johnny.”
“You trust a man who’s real name you don’t even know?”
“Yes,” she said firmly, staring him down.
“Doris has always said you’re soft, but I didn’t realise it was like this. A pretty white boy comes along and all common sense goes out the window.”
“Sweetheart, your worry about Betty is sweet, but I really think trying to get her to change her mind about this is a losing battle.”
“I’m not just looking out for her, I’m looking out for all of us. What if he’s a con-man, or even if he’s a serial killer or something?”
“Well, we don’t know, but what if he is a good man who is just in a bad spot right now?”
“Fine, but the first whiff of something off, and I will go to the cops.”
“That’s understandable,” Johnny offered, trying to stop this argument.
“So, you really don’t remember anything?”
“No, I don’t even know what my family look like,” he said sadly, looking down into his lap.
“We’re gonna figure this out, I promise,” Betty tried to comfort him with an arm around his shoulders.
“I’m sure there’s gonna be someone out there looking for you,” Doris offered.
“Exactly, it’ll all be fine.”
“What if the memories never come back? They’ll remember who I was and I wouldn’t be able to offer whatever I used to…”
“C’mon, let’s not dwell on maybes and what-ifs, let’s deal with what we have now, yeah?” Betty smiled comfortingly.
“Okay, yeah,” Johnny looked to her, smiling weakly.
A slightly awkward silence fell over the group as they continued to try and finish their meal, not quite sure if they should keep speaking or what they would even say. Carlos kept a slightly watchful eye on Johnny, measuring all of his movements from the way he barely seemed to look up, to the genuine warm smile that cracked his lips when Betty comforted him. Maybe this guy was being honest, but part of him couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong, then again, that could have simply been his cynical look on most of the world. It didn’t help that they lived in the town of the movies and actors who lied for a living walked around, he could have just been an out of work actor looking for an easy meal ticket.
Everyone had finally finished their meal and that was usually a cue for something social to happen. Betty cheerily got up and started to pick up the empty dishes when Doris began to help and shooed the men to the living room. Carlos grabbed one of the glasses that still had alcohol in it, Johnny’s glass, and Johnny left the room empty handed.
“I’m sorry about Carlos, you know how he can get sometimes,” Doris said in a hushed tone.
“It’s okay, honestly,” Betty replied at the same volume, keeping their conversation from the boys.
“Do you want us to get out of here?” she asked, picking up the cutlery.
“I think it might be best, it’s been a weird day, I think Johnny could really do with a good night’s rest, you know?” she said as she placed the bowls in the sink.
“Yeah, and hopefully he’ll start feeling a bit better, I noticed the occasional shakes coming back during dinner.”
“I can’t even imagine what he went through for him to forget everything.”
“It must have been pretty bad… but at least now he’s got you,” Doris nudged her playfully.
“I meant what I said, I can’t just turf him out,” she said as she poured the undrunk whiskey back into the bottle.
“I know, but you also know that men have emotions and things like that, Carlos doesn’t believe in weakness. In his eyes, Johnny would go and just fix this by being a man.”
Betty stifled a laugh. “Sure, because that would work…” she gave the table a quick wipe down with a damp cloth. “Can you make sure he does ask his boss about that job though? I think it could really help Johnny not feel so useless, you know?”
“Of course, I’ll remind him before he goes to work.”
“Thanks Doris,” she gave her friend a tight hug.
“Right, we’ll get outta your hair now,” she announced a little louder so Carlos could hear her.
“Is that your hint for me to get up?” he asked her playfully.
“Yes, it is,” she said with a playful eye roll.
“Thanks for the food and the drink, and for this one of a kind story,” Carlos couldn’t resist but snort a little.
“And thank you for the clothes,” Betty smiled.
“Once I get a little income, I will repay you, I promise,” Johnny said, outstretched hand.
“Don’t sweat it,” Carlos took Johnny’s hand and shook it, “consider it a gift for my new neighbour.”
“Thank you so much,” Johnny said, genuine thankfulness in his voice.
“Right,” Carlos let go of his hand, “we’re gonna get off then.”
“And don’t forget, if you need anything, at any time, within reason, we’re just next door, okay?” Doris said as she held Betty’s hand.
“How can I forget about you two?” Betty winked.
“Good night, you two,” Doris said with a wave.
The door clicked behind the married couple and Betty and Johnny were left alone in the apartment. She smiled a little awkwardly at him before finally sitting on the sofa, and he then sat down next to her. She couldn’t stop herself from watching him as he sat down, noticing the tan line on his wedding finger. Without warning, her heart sunk in her chest and she couldn’t even explain why that was. She had known him barely a day and she was already upset that he was unobtainable, or perhaps it was the fact that now she knew there were people out there looking for him and for now, there was no way to get him back.
“I really am sorry for what Carlos said to you.”
“It’s fine, you can’t control what someone else says, you don’t have to apologise.”
“I didn’t even want him to come over because I knew he would do something like this, he always thinks people are criminals without even knowing them.”
“I guess it is all a little bit unbelievable, so I can understand where he was coming from.”
“I know, but still, what happened to just being polite until you know that person is doing something heinous.”
“He obviously doesn’t have time for politeness,” he chuckled softly.
“But he will be asking about that job, don’t worry, and then you can start whenever you feel comfortable to do so, don’t rush it, okay?”
“You’re so kind,” he said, looking at her dead in the eye, thinking for a moment, “I promise, I will try and get out of here as soon as possible, I don’t want to cause any troubles for you.”
“Are you referring to what Carlos said? Because if you are, I couldn’t give a damn, you’re a person in need of help and I’m going to help you. You don’t have to rush out of here before you’re ready, it’d be like a man with a broken leg walking before it’s healed, you hear me?”
“You really have a way with words as well,” he smiled.
“I moved to L.A. to try and become a screenwriter, I just love writing, and I love movies, but no way in hell did I want to be an actress. But writing work for women, it barely exists, unless it’s typing it out the script,” she said a little sadly.
“I bet you’d make an amazing film writer,” he carefully took her hand.
“I like to think so,” she placed her other hand on top of his, “but breaking the business, that’s gonna be the hardest part. I gotta really knock their socks off to get their attention.”
“Well, if anyone can do it, I bet it’d be you,” he smiled.
“We’ll just have to see what the future brings us. For now, let’s deal with at least this week,” she said with a little chortle.
“And what does this week bring next?”
“Well, I have three more days of work, and I’ll have to go out for some more food,” she smiled a little awkwardly.
“Where do you work?”
“It’s a small office, just as a secretary, it’s nothing exciting. But it’s where I met Doris, so I can’t complain too much.”
“Oh, so she didn’t live here when you moved in?”
“No, there used to be some awful creep next door. But Doris and Carlos met about two years ago, the place he works isn’t far from out office, so the two of them would make eyes at each other and then they started dating, then when they got married, they decided to move out and the creep had left about a month before after enough people complained to get him evicted.”
“At least it means you have a friend close by,” he offered with a smile.
“Yeah, it’s alright, but now I am the only unmarried girl in the office, so pressure’s on…” she seemed to drift off into a little cloud of sadness.
“A girl doesn’t need to be married to be someone, you’re probably better off without a man anyway,” he shot her a goofy grin.
“Well, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to bring you home if I had a man around as well,” she returned his grin.
“See it’s all working itself out,” he smiled, followed shortly by a yawn.
“Oh gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been sat here talking at you, forgetting everything you’ve been through, you must be exhausted. Let me grab some blankets and then you can have the bed and I’ll take the sofa.”
“No, I can’t let you not sleep in your own bed,” he protested.
“It’s fine, you’ve been through a lot, you deserve a decent night’s sleep.”
“But you have work, you need to be well rested to be able to work well.”
“Honestly, it’ll be fine, I can just sleep out here, and then you’ll have a comfy bed to yourself.”
“No, please…” he looked away from her before slowly looking back up her. “I really just don’t want to be alone. You can have the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor, I really don’t mind,” he almost pleaded with her.
“Oh Johnny,” she said softly, squeezing his hand tightly, “of course, I can get you some pillows to lay on, and lots of blankets, and it’ll all be alright,” she brought him in for a hug.
He couldn’t help himself as he leant into the hug, burying his head into her shoulder and he tried to stop himself from crying. The thought of being alone once more just played so heavily on his mind, this idea that he would wake up and everything would be gone again, and he couldn’t go through that. It sounded so stupid and he wished that he could get over this new fear, but he didn’t seem to be able to deal with it. If he slept in the same room as her, maybe it would mean that the universe couldn’t take her away like it had with the rest of his life.
She brought him to his feet and the two of them made their way into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she started to grab things from the cupboard that he would be able to sleep with for the night. While she started to sort the things on the floor, he couldn’t help but watch and just feel utterly useless, wishing there was something he could do, not just in this moment, but just in general for her. Once the bedding was set out, she told him she was heading to the bathroom to get changed into her pyjamas and handed him a big dressing gown to wear so he could change out of the clothes. She disappeared for a few moments, moments that felt like forever, like she wouldn’t come back, but she did and he could relax once more.
He watched as she settled into bed and then she peered over the side, smiling down at him and then leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. Every part of him told him that he was intruding and he shouldn’t make any more requests, that he should just lay down and sleep, but he couldn’t help himself. With trembling voice, he asked if she wouldn’t mind him holding her hand, just while he tried to fall asleep. It was childish, but he just wanted some kind of comfort, a level of comforting from another human being that he had no memory of and hadn’t been shown the few days he had been on the streets as he shivered and cried. She had been the only one to offer a hand and she did it once more, letting him feel the warmth so he could finally get some rest.