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Dean has always felt bad for the hookers who bond with their johns. He’s seen it happen a few times and it usually ends messy. The kind of people who pay for sex aren’t generally the ones you want as soulmates. As fond as Dean is of some of his clients, he wouldn’t wanna get stuck with any of them.
Not that it really matters what Dean wants. At twenty-eight, he is way past the average age for soulmate bonding. For some people, it just doesn’t happen, and Dean’s made his peace with being one of them.
Besides, a soulmate would just distract him from the job.
*
Dean is just about to turn in for the night when he gets a call on his work cell. It’s an unfamiliar voice but he says one of Dean’s regulars recommended him. He sets up a meeting at the motel Dean frequents, eager for his services as soon as possible. Dean tells him he’ll be there in ten.
The guy who meets him in the lobby is handsome. Enough so that Dean wonders just what he needs a hooker for; he’s got a potent combination of pretty blue eyes, artfully mussed hair, full lips and a strong jawline.
When he introduces himself as Castiel, Dean realizes he’s not the one he talked with on the phone. It sets off some alarms in his head but there are people who know where he is and this guy looks harmless enough. He doesn’t even touch Dean at first, just watches him warily as he orders them a room for the hour.
Once they’re behind closed doors, Castiel still doesn’t make a move to touch him. He sits down on the bed, looking at Dean with about as much enthusiasm as a kid at the dentist.
“Try not to get too excited,” Dean says. He doesn’t mean to, knows it’s bad business to snark at a client, but it’s late and he’s stressed. It’s been a slow week.
“I apologize,” Castiel says, not looking particularly sorry. “This wasn’t my idea.”
Dean raises an eyebrow. “No?”
“It was my cousin’s.” Castiel glances away, a scowl on his face. “He is of the opinion that I’ve been a virgin for too long and need to ‘get laid’ before I ‘explode’.”
Judging by the finger-quotes, those were not Castiel’s words.
“Waiting for your soulmate?” Dean guesses. Castiel nods curtly, still not looking his way. “That’s… sweet?”
“It hasn’t benefited me so far.” Castiel doesn’t sound bitter, so much as resigned. “My cousin has suggested this to me before but it’s not until recently that I’ve given it much thought. Maybe he’s right, maybe I need to get this over with.”
Dean clears his throat. As much as he needs the money right now, he’s not comfortable getting it by pushing Castiel into something he’s not ready for. “You sure you wanna go this way about it? It’s a pretty big leap from only wanting to have sex with your soulmate to paying to get it from a stranger.”
Castiel sighs, placing his elbows on his knees and running his hands through his hair.
“I’m not sure. At my age, it seems unlikely that I will bond with anyone. Maybe if I didn’t put so much stock into finding a soulmate I could…”
Dean waits for him to finish but he just trails off with a frustrated groan.
“Look, man,” Dean says, “I’m not an expert on this stuff but you might be thinking too hard about it. Just… ignore whatever you cousin said or that voice inside your head that says you should have a soulmate by now. Try to focus on what you want.”
Castiel looks up at him, dropping his hands. His hair was already messy but now it’s sticking up everywhere. There are heavy bags underneath his eyes and a scruff that’s looking more shabby than sexy. Somehow, none of that detracts from his good looks.
“I think…” he stands up, walks over to Dean in slow, deliberate steps. “I think I want to kiss you.”
Dean’s breath catches in his throat. It’s ridiculous; he has sex for a living but just having Castiel in his personal space, not even touching him yet, has him dizzy with want.
“Then kiss me,” he says.
Castiel’s eyes drop to his lips. Then he’s leaning in, closing the gap between them, and at the first touch of their lips Dean is lost. He’s never felt it before but it’s unmistakable. The bond.
Castiel is his soulmate.
There’s warmth, spreading from Castiel’s lips to his, lighting up his insides. Dean is overcome with a sudden rush of affection and joy he’s never felt before. He doesn’t even know Castiel yet but in this moment, he loves him.
Then it dwindles and reality hits Dean like a blast of cold water.
They part and Castiel is staring at him with something like wonder in his eyes. Dean feels filthy under that look. Castiel’s been waiting for his soulmate for god knows how long, saving himself for them, and then the poor bastard gets stuck with Dean.
“You…” Castiel is breathless when he speaks and it’s too much, Dean can’t take it.
He backs away, shaking Castiel’s hands off when he tries to reach for him. “Get out.”
Castiel frowns. “I don’t understand.”
“What’s there to understand?” Dean puts his hands on his hips. He feels sick to be sending his soulmate away when he just met him but he already knows he can’t be what Castiel wants. “I want you to leave. So leave.”
“I- did I do something wrong?”
Dean flinches at the pain in Castiel’s voice. “’Course not. Not to sound like a cliché but it’s not you, it’s me.”
“Is this because you’re a prostitute?”
Despite himself, Dean snorts. “If you wanna be blunt about it, then yeah, that is one of the bigger issues.”
“I don’t judge you for that,” Castiel says. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here in the first place.”
As if Castiel would be the only john looking his nose down at Dean while paying for his services. It’s also easy for him to say now. Dean doubts it will still hold up in a couple of weeks when Castiel still has to deal with a soulmate who has sex with other people for a living.
“Just leave,” he repeats.
“Dean-”
“Jesus Christ, what part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”
Castiel draws in a sharp breath. He looks like he wants to protest again but decides against it. Finally, he says, “Alright. If you want me to leave, then I will.”
He reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and plucking out a business card, which he hands to Dean. It reads, ‘Castiel Novak, development director’. Where, it doesn’t say, but it confirms what Dean already knew. Castiel is way too good for him.
“Please, call me,” Castiel pleads. “Give me a chance to change your mind. If you don’t believe I’m serious about this then you can loose my number and I won’t bother you again.”
Dean smiles sadly. “I know you’re serious about this. And I’m sorry you got stuck with… it would be better for you just to forget me.”
“How could I?”
Castiel’s eyes are huge and sad, and impossibly blue. Dean already loves them, knows he’ll be seeing that shade of blue wherever he goes now. Unable to resist, he grabs Castiel’s arm and pulls him close.
This kiss is nothing like their first. It’s desperate, angry almost. Castiel wraps his arms around Dean, holds him tight like he never wants to let go, as if Dean might slip away if he did.
But when they part and Dean pulls himself out of Castiel’s embrace, Castiel lets him. Dean wants to apologize, either for the kiss or for turning Castiel away, but he can’t decide which so he doesn’t.
“Goodbye, Cas.”
“…Goodbye, Dean.”
Dean closes his eyes, listens as Castiel walks out the door and closes it behind him, removing himself from Dean’s life. God, it’s only been ten minutes since they met, and Dean feels his absence like a hole in his heart. Is this what having a soulmate is? Because it sucks.
He looks down at the card in his hands. It’s printed in pristine white, elegant gold letters spelling Castiel’s name, title, and contact information. If Dean tosses it out, Castiel won’t bother him again. Not that Dean has anything to go on but his word, but for some reason that’s enough. He feels like he could tell if Castiel was lying to him.
Stupid soulmate bond.
Dean’s fingers tighten their hold on the card. He should just rip it into pieces, be done with this mess once and for all. Castiel will be hurt but he’ll move on. It will be better for both of them in the long run.
He shoves the card in his pocket.