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Makoto held up a hand to shield his eyes from the sun’s glare as he waited at the edge of the crosswalk in Shibuya; he was heading for the train station, and he was running late. He was also on the phone, happily chatting away as he waited for the crosswalk light to change to green, indicating that it was safe to traverse the busy intersection.
“Yeah, both Haru and Rin are in the qualifiers today,” Makoto said to the person on the other end of the conversation, “I actually help train Rin now too, whenever he’s in town. Both Mikhail-san and Azuma-san have taught me so much--”
Makoto paused, listening. “That’s not funny, Kisumi! I’m usually not running this late anymore, I swear. I got held up at home with some last minute things; I’m sure Rin will still tease me about it, though. I--”
“Sae-chan! Sae-chan, get back here!”
A flash of pink caught Makoto’s eye, and he turned towards it to see a young girl of about four or five dart away from her mother and into the busiest intersection in Japan, her eyes locked on a small toy that had been left in the road.
The mother let out a scream as the girl moved into the path of an oncoming car, whose driver was clearly not paying good enough attention. Makoto’s body moved on its own; his phone clattered to the ground as he lunged into the street, intent on grabbing the girl before any harm could befall her. He yanked her back, flinging her towards the curb and out of danger. An instant later, he registered the bright glare of the sun on a windshield just in front of him—
“Look out!”
“Oh my god, is he okay?!”
“Someone call an ambulance!!”
Unheard by anyone, a voice continued to sound from the phone on the ground. “Makoto?? Makoto, are you okay?! Makoto!!”
---((Meanwhile))---
Haru took a deep breath as he finished his final lap in the warmup pool, shaking off errant sprays of water. As he climbed up and out of the pool, he was surprised to note that a certain green-eyed trainer-in-training of his hadn’t arrived yet. He walked over to Azuma, intending to ask if he’d seen him. When Azuma replied in the negative, Haru frowned. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he couldn’t shake a strange, bad feeling.
Azuma brushed it off, carelessly throwing Haru a towel. “So he’s late, big deal. That kid is always late—”
Haru suddenly caught sight of a familiar pink head of hair over Azuma’s shoulder. Kisumi? What is he doing down here? Haru wondered. Kisumi saw the pair and hurried over to them. Haru took one look at Kisumi’s ashen face and felt his stomach drop.
Something was definitely wrong.
“Kisumi, what are you doing down here? I thought Asahi had said he’d meet you upstairs—”
“Haru!” Kisumi exclaimed, cutting him off, but he was so out of breath he couldn’t continue his sentence. He paused for a moment, panting.
“Did you run here or something?” Azuma interjected in surprise, and Haru’s frown deepened.
Kisumi desperately tried to find his words. “It’s...Makoto. I was...talking with him on the phone and...all of a sudden he stopped and there was a terrible screech and shouting—”
Haru felt as if he’d been set on fire and splashed with ice water at the same time. Makoto. “Did he mention where he was?” he asked in a surprisingly calm tone.
“The Shibuya crosswalk,” Kisumi said, finally catching his breath. “Haru, I heard people calling for an ambulance.”
As Haru stood there frozen, absorbing this information, Azuma suddenly felt as if he’d been transported back in time. Instead of being poolside, he was staring into a darkened hospital room with a single bed, a sheet covering its occupant entirely. Every second of that moment had been burned into his brain, and he’d never been the same since. He hadn’t been able to handle it, he hadn’t been strong enough to succeed. But Haru would be different. Childhood friend or not, he needed to be able to push through this. He needed to stay strong, be unwavering in ways that Azuma never could’ve managed.
Azuma turned to him with that thought in mind, staying words on the tip of his tongue. “Nanase, wai—”
But Haru was already long gone.
-------
Haru didn’t remember how he got to the hospital. Did he ride the train? A bus? Did he run the entire way? He certainly felt like he’d ran the whole way and then some. When he arrived he’d asked about Makoto at the front desk, but all the receptionist would tell him was that he was in surgery and that a doctor would come out and update him when it was over. Surgery?
Haru sat alone in the corner of the quiet waiting room with his torso hunched over his knees; his eyes were fixed on the floor, unseeing. Makoto was in surgery. Surgery on what? How bad was it? Was it his arm, his spine, his heart?
Would he make it?
Haru’s thoughts were spinning so fast he couldn’t keep up. He felt like he was going to throw up. He might never see Makoto again. This morning they were planning to meet at the competition venue, and now he might never see Makoto again. They were probably going to get dinner after the competition with all of their friends, and now he might never see Makoto again.
Ever.
Now Haru definitely felt like he was going to throw up. The disconnect was too great; it was overpowering him. He sat up quickly, intending to stand up and run for the bathroom. However, he found himself distracted as he looked up to see a familiar figure standing before him.
Nao.
“I ran into Asahi and Kisumi.”
Nao didn’t say anything more as he sat down next to Haru. Nao was no fool; he knew that there was nothing he could possibly say to make Haru feel better. And why would he tell Haru that everything would be alright when there was a chance it wouldn’t be?
So the two sat there in silence, and Nao did his best to provide the silent support that Haru so desperately needed. They sat like that for a long time until Haru suddenly spoke, his eyes still on the floor.
“He’s always been there,” Haru started, breaking their shroud of silence. “Always. I can’t remember a time where we haven’t been together. Even chasing our own dreams, we still find a way to be there for each other, to support each other. I know that if I were to reach out my hand, he’d be there to take it. So if he’s not there...Nao-senpai…” Haru’s voice cracked, and he looked up at Nao. Nao saw the tears silently streaming down his cheeks, his face completely broken apart from the stress of the unknown. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him.”
“Haru,” Nao said, reaching out to wrap his arm around Haru’s shaking shoulders. Haru accepted the comfort, needing Nao’s steadfastness and wisdom now more than ever. “There are too many unknowns right now. First, let’s wait and see what the doctors have to say, and then we can make a plan from there. Okay?”
Haru nodded repeatedly, trying and failing miserably to calm himself down. Once the dam had opened it would not close again, and memories of Makoto continued to flash before his mind’s eye: toddler-age Makoto following after him in his yard; middle-school-age Makoto smiling excitedly as they went to class; high school Makoto reaching out his hand to pull him out of the bath; college-age Makoto giving him a silly grin, showing him how to take a selfie on his new phone—
And now it could all disappear.
Haru just leaned into Nao, trying to slow his thoughts down enough so that he might have a chance at calming down. Nao was right; they didn’t know anything yet. He just needed to wait and see, it could just be something minor.
“Tachibana-san?”
Haru looked up to see the solemn face of the doctor standing before them. Then again, it could very easily be something major. Too easily. Haru stood up, nodding to the doctor. Haru had told the receptionist that he was Makoto’s brother, just in case he was seriously injured enough to only be seen by family members. He knew ‘childhood friend’ wouldn’t be good enough. Nao, of course, assumed this and didn’t say anything, standing up next to him.
The doctor saw Haru’s worried expression and cut right to the point. “Your brother is going to be fine.”
Haru felt the strength leave his legs as soon as he heard the doctor’s words; just like that he found himself sitting in the chair again. Nao held a hand out to him to help him stand up before taking over with the doctor. “What happened?”
“Tachibana Makoto was hit by a car; witnesses reported he had pulled a small child out of the way of an oncoming vehicle before being struck himself. The damage was not as severe as it could have been: based on his injuries it looks like he was able to get partially out of the way, so he wasn’t hit head on. He has some broken ribs and bruising. We needed to take him into surgery to set his leg; to prevent permanent damage, a compound tibial fracture needed immediate attention. It will take some time and hard work on his part, but he should eventually make a full recovery.”
If Nao hadn’t been holding Haru up he would’ve fell back into the chair again. Makoto was fine, he was going to be okay. He wasn’t going to die. Haru kept telling himself this, trying to hold back the rush of adrenaline. “Can we see him?” Haru asked.
“He’s still under general anesthesia, but yes, you can see him. We’re going to keep him here a few nights for observation.”
Nao thanked the doctor and pushed Haru forward, moving to sit back down in the chair. “Go, Haru. I’ll stay here and make some phone calls.”
Haru nodded before following the nurse that the doctor indicated, heading down one of the hallways. He still felt numb. Makoto will be okay, he kept repeating to himself, trying to force himself to believe it. He will be okay.
The nurse opened a door for him and Haru stepped inside, his eyes coming to rest on Makoto asleep in the hospital bed. He wasn’t on oxygen, but the variety of other wires and tubes he was hooked up to did not indicate he was completely fine, either. His leg, heavily bandaged and bound in place, stuck out starkly against the pink of the covers. The heart monitor beeped steadily, indicating to the room at large that Makoto had a steady pulse. Haru collapsed into the chair next to the bed, gingerly taking Makoto’s hand into both of his. Makoto was both taller and broader than him by a large margin, and yet here in this bed he looked small, fragile. Seeing Makoto so broken really brought home for Haru just how easily he could have lost him. Makoto just couldn’t leave him: Haru had so much he needed to say, so much he wanted to do with Makoto and only Makoto. Haru gently ran his thumb over Makoto’s fingertips, reveling in the warmth of his body. There was still time. Makoto wasn’t going to leave him. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Haru brought Makoto’s hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to his fingertips this time. And Haru wasn’t going anywhere, either.
A short while later Makoto shifted slightly, and Haru sat bolt upright, focusing on keeping his grip on Makoto’s hand gentle. Makoto shifted around a little more before his green eyes fluttered open, confusion evident in his gaze. “H-Haru?” Makoto asked upon noticing him, his voice slightly slurred, “What’s going—”
“Don’t move,” Haru said firmly, cutting him off when he noticed Makoto trying to get out of the bed. “You were in an accident. You were hit by a car,” he said in a tone void of emotion.
“I…what?” Makoto frowned for a second, trying to remember. He had been in Shibuya talking to Kisumi, and he’d seen a little girl—
The rest of his memories came back to Makoto in a rush. “The little girl, is she alright?” He shifted again, distressed, and winced in pain as he jostled his broken ribs. Haru put a hand lightly on Makoto’s chest to steady him.
“She’s fine. You’re the only one who isn’t,” he pointed out, a slight tinge of upset in his voice. “When Kisumi told us that something had happened, I…I didn’t know what to think.”
“I’m sorry, Haru,” Makoto said, hearing the intense emotion in Haru’s tone.
Haru rushed to reassure him. “No! Don’t apologize. I’m not mad at you or anything, Makoto; you always put others first—that’s who you are, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when I got to the hospital, they wouldn’t tell me anything except that you were in surgery and…” he paused, staring intently into Makoto’s eyes. To his utter annoyance, he found that he was on the verge of tears again. “I was terrified,” he admitted, squeezing Makoto’s hand. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”
“Haru—”
“Makoto, my greatest fear in the world is losing you. I need you beside me, supporting me when I need it most. Your presence in my life is so natural, so important that I think I’d lose my mind if you weren’t around. I wouldn’t be able to eat, sleep, think, swim—”
“Oh no, Haru,” Makoto said, remembering suddenly, “The race, you need to—”
“I don’t care about the race!!” Haru said in a burst of emotion. He immediately calmed down, regretting his outburst. “I’m sorry, Makoto. What I mean is, I don’t care about some damn race when I could lose you forever. I…I love you so much, Makoto; please don’t ever leave me. Please.” The tears he’d been holding back finally broke through, and he didn’t even try to stop them as he brought Makoto’s hand to his cheek, holding it there. “Please,” he repeated in a whisper.
“Haruka,” Makoto said in reply, pressing his hand to Haru’s cheek as well, “It’s not fair of you to say all that when I’m stuck in this bed. Come here. Please.” Makoto took hold of one of Haru’s hands and tugged, pulling Haru to stand and lean over him on the bed.
“Kiss me,” Makoto all but begged, “If I don’t kiss you right now, I might die.”
“That’s not funny,” Haru said but leaned down anyways, closing his lips over Makoto’s in a tender kiss. The kiss wasn’t long, but the emotions shared between them said more than enough: I love you, I need you, Stay with me.
Haru pulled away slightly, and Makoto cupped his cheek with a hand again. “Haru…Haru, I love you too. I need you just as much; you always help me push forward when I’m ready to give up. Your support is invaluable to me, and I don’t think I’d last a minute without you beside me, cheering me on. I’m not going anywhere Haru, so promise me you’ll stay by my side.”
“I promise,” Haru replied emphatically, turning to press a kiss to the inside of Makoto’s palm. “I’m not going anywhere, either.”
Makoto smiled a tender, watery smile, and Haru returned it, content to bask in the moment. “Although…” Makoto said after a beat, “I wouldn’t mind if you went and competed this afternoon.”
Haru stiffened. “No.”
“But Haru, you can still make some of the qualifiers—”
“I said no,” Haru repeated with a tone of finality, his stubbornness out in full force as he resolutely sat back down in the chair. He took Makoto’s hand in his, squeezing it firmly. “There will be other races.”
“But Haru—”
“I’m not going, Makoto.”
Makoto let out a sigh of defeat as he gave in, recognizing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere. “Alright.” The two then sat in comfortable silence, with Haru gently running his thumb over Makoto’s hand in a soothing rhythm.
Before long Makoto’s eyes started to droop, and when Haru saw him startle awake, he reached out with his free hand to arrange the covers more snugly over his chest. “Get some rest, Makoto. I’ll be right here.”
Makoto let out a contented sigh before he gave in. “Okay, Haru-chan…” He soon drifted off to sleep, and Haru continued to caress his hand, assuring himself of Makoto’s presence. The next few months weren’t going to be easy for Makoto, but Haru would be there every step of the way, ready to take on all of the obstacles right by his side.
They’d pull through it the same way they always did: together.
---((Four Months Later))---
“Haru, hurry up! We’re going to be late!” Makoto stood in the entryway, yelling back into his apartment. He leaned on his crutch as he kicked at his one shoe, toeing it on the rest of the way. His phone rang as he adjusted his walking boot, and he looked to see the name ‘Rin’ flash across the screen. He pressed the green button and put the phone to his ear.
“Rin, hey! Yes, we’re coming. Sorry, we got a bit of a late start today. No, it was my fault—Yes, I’m fine. Yes, I took my medicine. Yes, Haru’s going to drive; we’re not walking to the station. Rin, I’m fine—”
“Did you take your medicine?” a voice called from the back of the tiny apartment.
Makoto laughed merrily in response. The two were worse than his own mother sometimes. “Yes, I did!” Ever since he came home from the hospital, Haru had been staying at his place; then, once Makoto became more mobile, the two occasionally stayed at Haru’s place as well. Soon, Makoto would be able to stay in his apartment on his own (he already could to be honest, but Haru wasn’t having it). However, Makoto could tell that Haru had other plans for their future living arrangements. He had caught Haru on several occasions looking at searches for bigger apartments on his laptop. Makoto smiled to himself. He wouldn’t mind permanently coming home to his Haru-chan every day; he wouldn’t mind their welcome home kisses becoming a permanent addition to their routine, either—
“Oi! Makoto, are you there?”
Makoto snapped back to reality. “Yes! Sorry, was spacing out.”
“Just be careful once you get here, alright? It’s really crowded, and this venue has a lot of stairs—”
Makoto laughed again. “Rin, thank you for looking out for me. I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it. I appreciate the warning.” Haru finally appeared in the entryway, and he bent down to put on his shoes. “I have to go now Rin, we’ll see you soon!” He hung up the phone as Haru straightened, reaching for his keys.
“What did Rin want?” Haru asked as he opened the door, holding it open for Makoto to navigate through with his crutch and walking boot.
“Nothing really. Just called to warn me about the venue—”
“The venue?” Haru jumped on his words immediately, his concern evident. “What’s wrong with it? Did he think it’d be too difficult for you? Dammit, I knew I should’ve checked it out first—”
“Haru,” Makoto said with a fond smile as he made it through the door, balancing on the crutch so he could put both hands onto Haru’s shoulders. “It’s going to be fine. I’m fine. Some stairs aren’t going to impede my recovery.”
Haru pouted a little but relented, letting go of the door so he could put his hand on Makoto’s cheek, trailing it up into his soft hair. “I know you’re fine, I just…need some extra convincing sometimes.” Haru still occasionally woke up in the middle of the night from persistent nightmares of Makoto broken on the floor, unmoving, his unseeing green eyes never to crinkle up at him in a smile, to glare at him in exasperation, to look at him at all ever again. He’d wake up in a cold sweat and look over to see Makoto beside him, peaceful in his sleep. He’d hold him close and try to settle down again, try to get his subconscious to accept that Makoto wasn’t going anywhere, that he was safe, that he was with Haru.
Focusing back on the present, Haru watched Makoto let out a little sigh and lean forward, kissing Haru softly. “I’ll convince you as much as you need,” Makoto replied tenderly, kissing him again. Haru didn’t know if Makoto knew about the nightmares, but he was pretty sure that he did. In response, Haru tightened his grip on the back of Makoto’s head, holding his lips to his so he could deepen the kiss; he bit Makoto’s lower lip, teasingly slipping his tongue inside Makoto’s mouth just enough to make them both want more. Makoto let out a pleased gasp of surprise, unconsciously leaning closer. Reluctantly, Haru pulled away before Makoto lost his tenuous balance on his crutch. He grinned slightly at Makoto’s glazed expression before clearing his throat.
“Further convincing will have to wait until we get home,” Haru stated in a serious tone. “We’re already late.”
Makoto could see the teasing glint in Haru’s eyes though, and his jaw dropped at Haru’s blatantly flirtatious jibe. Then, the end of his sentence fully registered, and Makoto checked his watch. “Oh no, it’s that late already? Haru, we have to hurry—”
“We’ll get there when we get there,” Haru replied resolutely as he took Makoto’s free hand in his, heading for the elevator. “We’re going to take our time.”
Makoto smiled at Haru’s consideration for his condition, but he still moved as briskly as he could. “Rin will still never let me hear the end of it if we get there any later than this, injury or not.”
Haru stiffened on reflex. “Leave him to me. I’ll shut him up by leaving him in the dust during our race.”
“Hmm, I can’t quite remember, but didn’t he almost win last time?” Makoto couldn’t help but ask in mock-innocence. Teasing Haru when he got competitive like this was so much fun.
Predictably, Haru jumped at the bait. “He did no such thing.”
Makoto chuckled and pressed the button for the elevator. “Whatever you say, Haru.”
Haru frowned at him. “You don’t think I’ll win?”
“I always think you’ll win, Haru,” Makoto said sincerely. “I know how hard you work, and I will always be your biggest supporter.” Haru’s heart warmed. Of course Haru knew that Makoto wanted both himself and Rin to achieve their respective dreams; he loved the endless boundaries of Makoto’s heart. But still, when it came down to it…he wanted his boyfriend cheering him on. Selfish or not, he didn’t care.
“I know,” Haru said with a smile, reassured by Makoto’s words of encouragement and love. Makoto returned the smile as the elevator arrived and the doors opened.
Just when Haru was finally mollified, Makoto couldn’t resist riling him up just a little bit more. It was horrible of him, Makoto knew, but sometimes Haru was just too easy to tease. “Rin has been working hard lately though,” Makoto added thoughtfully, trying not to laugh, “I admire his work ethic and dedication.”
“That’s it,” Haru said, finally cracking as the two entered the elevator, “What do I get when I beat him?”
Makoto blinked. Maybe he’d pushed him a little bit too far. “Get?” he repeated, nonplussed.
“I’ll prove to you that I’m better, that I’ve been taking your advice and training more seriously, that you’re better off dating me.”
“‘Better off dating—!’ Haru, are you jealous? That’s not what I meant at all!” Clearly he’d pushed Haru off the deep end. He tried to backpedal, “I was only kidding—”
“When I win,” Haru continued as if Makoto hadn’t spoken, “you will spend the entirety of tomorrow in bed.”
“Haru—”
“With me.”
“Haru—”
“Having sex.”
“Haru!” Makoto blushed, scandalized at the suggestion. “We can’t—”
“We can, and we will.” Haru said it like it was a foregone conclusion. Makoto stared at him in embarrassed amazement, and he continued to do so long after the elevator doors opened. Haru, holding them open from the inside to let Makoto go out first, finally had to clear his throat to get Makoto to move. Makoto finally spurred into action, angling himself safely out of the elevator. Haru was definitely serious about this little wager.
Fine then, he’d play along. “Well, what do I get if Rin wins?” Makoto pressed, wondering what Haru would say.
Haru brushed Makoto’s question away. “It doesn’t matter; he won’t.”
Makoto spluttered in surprise. “But—”
“He won’t.”
And during that afternoon’s freestyle competition, Haru set a world record.
Makoto stood with Azuma on the sidelines, his blush reaching his ears as Haru first checked the scoreboard, then shamelessly grinned at him. Azuma didn’t miss the exchange, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that was about; he wouldn’t ask though, of course not. Haru had made one thing very clear when he had taken off at a dead sprint out of the competition venue all those months ago. His friends were his priority, not the pool.
And despite that—no, because of that, he’d just set a world record. Easily.
Azuma shrugged to himself as he watched Haru climb out of the pool and immediately make a beeline for Makoto. Makoto started to walk slowly towards him as well, and the pair ended up out of Azuma’s earshot. Whatever they were discussing was a very spirited conversation: Haru continued to grin up at Makoto while saying something; Makoto only blushed harder in response. Azuma sighed, shaking his head at their antics. He didn’t want to admit it, but he’d been wrong. Apparently Haru didn’t need to give up anything in order to succeed. Rather, the key was just the opposite: to hold on and never let go.
---((The End!!))---