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Ruby was a light sleeper. She had learned to be one in the camps, the six years of torture that she spent there. Through her weeks of traveling in Betty with Liam, Chubs, and Zu, she should’ve been used to sleeping in the seat of a car.
When they called her parents, Cate, and Harry, they had compromised on one night they could sleep together one last time before heading back home. The second row of seats went all the way back, into the wide trunk and blankets with pillows formed a bed. Chubs, Vida, and Zu slept back there now; Vida on her side facing away from Chubs but allowing him to rest a hand on her waist, Chubs sleeping in the middle on his back with Zu’s head on his chest. Liam slept in the driver’s seat, facing Ruby who laid in the passenger’s. They held hands, which rested on the armrest of Ruby’s seat, Liam's arm resting on a spare pillow comfortably.
Ruby slept lightly, and her sleeping patterns in the car were choppy, so she felt when Liam's hand fell away from hers. She felt him jerk in his sleep, from the position he was in. Her eyes slowly opened and landed on the boy sleeping across from her. Liam's eyelids twitched and the small, quiet no he let out was what woke Ruby up fully.
“Liam,” Ruby murmured, her arm reaching sluggishly across the center console to shake him awake. “Liam, wake up.”
He turned away from her, making her hand drop. His mouth opened and Ruby braced herself for a shout, but Liam said something much worse.
“Cole!”
Right after, his blue eyes opened and tears dropped down his cheeks. His eyes landed on Ruby, before he turned away, sitting up and putting his head in between his knees. His back shook while he cried, tensing and then relaxing as sobs left his mouth. Carefully, Ruby glanced to the back of the car, checking on her other friends and if they were still asleep. When Zu only stirred, Ruby's eyes went back to Liam and she reached a hand to sit on his back. She rubbed her thumb back and forth in an attempt to soothe him. Seconds later, Liam was turning toward Ruby, his face hidden in her neck before she could glance at it.
“It's my fault.” He said, his voice a harsh whisper on her skin. “It's all my fault, Ruby.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, Ruby lifted a hand to run her fingers through Liam's hair. She kissed the side of his head, wrapping her free arm around his waist. Warm tears wet her t-shirt and Ruby said, “Nothing is your fault.”
“I miss him.” Liam’s voice was full of grief. “I never fixed anything between us. It’s my fault I never forgave him. He’s dead.” He lifted his head, staring at her with sad eyes. “Cole is dead, and I’m left with this guilt.”
It was silent in the car after, tears dropping quietly from Liam’s eyes. There was no sound, so Ruby heard when the movement against blankets in the back.
“Lee?”
Ruby glanced to the thirteen year old, now sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She was surprised when she saw Vida and Chubs awake too. Zu’s eyes widened when she saw Liam’s face in the moonlight. Quickly, Liam wiped his cheeks and turned away, pulling out of Ruby’s hold and avoiding Zu. “I’m okay, guys. Go back to sleep.” He faced the car door, readying to open it. “I’m going to go take a walk--”
Before he could get out of the car, Zu reached into the front and moved her arms around his neck. “Don’t go, Lee.” She squeezed her arms, hugging Liam from behind. “Don’t go.”
Vida’s mouth was in a tight line when Ruby glanced to her, and Chubs rubbed the back of her neck. Leaning forward, he squeezed in between the front seats and hugged Liam too. “You don’t have to be okay for us anymore, Lee,” he said.
Being told that by anyone else, Liam wouldn’t believe it. Ruby saw the moment the burden was released from his shoulders, even if Liam always will be strong for the people he loves. Chubs assuring Liam that they were safe now, Zu telling him not to go and be by himself, got rid of some of the grief sitting in Liam’s chest.
Vida moved closer to Ruby, watching the hug with a strange look on her face. “I knew Liam was too selfless for his own good, but does he really not even cry in front of them?”
Ruby turned in her seat so her talking didn’t disturb her friends. She leaned her head on her hand, eyes on Vida. “He wants to be strong for all of us, no matter the cost.”
Vida didn’t say anything else, looking back to her boyfriend and Zu holding Liam up--becoming his anchor. Ruby turned to them again and Liam’s eyes opened right as she looked to him. He smiled and she returned it, mouthing I love you and making his lips widen.