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When Bayley was a child, Bayley’s parents told her that she was a volcano of emotions. Bayley had the largest capacity for love, but both her parents could never comprehend it. They told Bayley she was a volcano, and that she shouldn’t let herself explode. They told her to be a dormant volcano. Bayley didn’t understand why until she took Earth Science in high school, and they got to the chapter on volcanoes. Bayley remembers being so excited to learn about them because she was one. Bayley walked into class that day and sat in the front row, eagerly took out her notebook and pencil, and forced herself to sit completely still in her seat.
On that day, Bayley learned why her parents told her never to explode. Volcanoes build up lava over thousands of years, and they keep all of it inside them. They force it all underground, and they try to keep it there with all of their might. Some succeed. A dormant volcano never explodes. Active volcanoes were made to explode though. Active volcanoes all explode eventually. They can’t be prevented. The lava builds up to the point where it can’t be controlled. It can’t be stymied, and it has nowhere else to go, so the lava shoots up into the sky and spreads across the Earth. Everyone always concentrates on the things on the Earth that the lava destroys. The homes, the animals, the trees. No one ever thinks about what happens to the volcano when all its lava is gone.
Nothing is left. It would take thousands of years to build all the lava back up. Until then, the volcano was empty. It had nothing left to give.
You see, volcanoes are really selfless. They build up lava all on their own, and they give it all away. Volcanoes created all of the land on Earth. They gave us all a home. They gave us existence, but they never get anything in return. A volcano explodes. The Earth is rejuvenated, but the volcano stands empty and alone.
Bayley was told she was a volcano of love, and she should never explode. Bayley learned what that really meant in Earth Science class. If Bayley ever exploded, then she would have nothing. She would be nothing. An empty shell. With nothing left inside her to give away. After that day, Bayley put all her energy into never exploding. She had to control the love she put out into the world.
The best volcanoes can give some of their lava to the Earth, but they have to push the rest of it down. Bayley gave a lot of love to everyone around her, but she never gave it all away. Because she was a volcano. Once her love was given away, that was less lava Bayley had. If she gave away too much, she would have nothing left. So, Bayley gave out plenty of love. She just gave it out in small bursts.
Sometimes, that was really difficult. Bayley had gallons and gallons of love within her, but she had to force it all down. She had to swallow it all and contain it in her chest. Over the years, her chest felt crowded and tighter. Sometimes, Bayley thought that all the love trapped in her chest, not allowed to be given away, would give her a heart attack. Sometimes, her chest was so tight, Bayley felt like she couldn’t breathe.
x
Bayley met Charlotte first.
Bayley had been training at the WWE Performance Center for a couple weeks when she saw Charlotte for the first time. Immediately, Bayley was starstruck. Bayley didn’t know her name, but this had to be the most beautiful woman Bayley had ever seen. The most beautiful woman in the world. She was a masterpiece. It was like she was sculpted by God. Everything, from her hair to her eyes to her body was flawless. Bayley had never seen a more perfect person. Bayley believed in soulmates, and she knew Charlotte was hers from the start.
Never one to shy away from people, as soon as Bayley was able to pull herself from her trance, she almost sprinted towards the woman. Skidding to a stop in front of her, Bayley instantly introduced herself. The angel smiled at her greeting, and Bayley thought she might have melted into a puddle on the floor for a moment. Actually, she might be okay with being a puddle on the floor, because it could make this angel smile again. Maybe even laugh. Bayley would have bet her life that this stranger had a beautiful laugh. Bayley was gazing at her almost in a trance when the woman introduced herself as Charlotte Flair.
Bayley really only concentrated on the first half of her name though, because Bayley was not a patient person. Bayley needed her first name, and then they could leap right into a conversation. It didn’t help the situation that Charlotte shyly muttered her last name, so, honestly, it would have been difficult for Bayley to catch it anyways. Even if she was listening for it. So, the fact that Charlotte is the daughter of Ric Flair is completely missed by Bayley, and Bayley immediately struck up a conversation. If nothing else, Bayley is going to make a friend of this gorgeous woman.
They clicked from the first meeting. Bayley felt butterflies from that first conversation. Charlotte was so kind and intelligent and beautiful. Bayley could already tell that her personality was just as beautiful as Charlotte was physically. Maybe even more beautiful. Either way, Bayley was captivated from the start. And, Bayley was determined to get to know Charlotte more. So, Bayley just slotted herself into Charlotte’s life. Charlotte could be a little hesitant and shy sometimes, but that’s alright. Bayley could be outgoing enough for the both of them. Bayley would reach out to Charlotte when Charlotte was too nervous to reach out to her. That was no problem, really. Bayley knew she would do anything for Charlotte.
Over the months, Bayley and Charlotte only got closer. They trained together, ate together, and slept in the same bed together some nights. Charlotte would even cuddle with Bayley on the nights when they shared a bed! Bayley felt like she was living in a dream. And, it was definitely the best dream Bayley ever had. Which is saying a lot, because Bayley once had a dream that she and Randy Savage won the WWE Tag Team Championships at Wrestlemania. The crowd was chanting her name, and Randy Savage told her she was the greatest partner he ever had. Anyways, Charlotte was so much better than all of that.
Bayley couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate. Charlotte was everything she could have ever wanted, and they spent all of their time together. Sometimes, Bayley would just gaze at her and think about how lucky Bayley was to have such a wonderful person in her life. Charlotte needed to know how much Bayley appreciated her. So, Bayley showered her with praise and compliments constantly. She didn’t do it to make Charlotte like her more. It was all just so true! Bayley liked to tell the truth. She told Charlotte how talented, smart, beautiful, and amazing she was constantly. Charlotte would always get a blush on her face and go all shy. It was the most adorable thing Bayley had ever seen.
But, sometimes, Charlotte didn’t look like she believed the things Bayley would tell her. That worried Bayley, so she just complimented her even more. That didn’t seem to do the trick though, but Bayley just thought it would take a little more time. Bayley knew she would make all the time in the world for Charlotte. Charlotte would believe her. She just needed a little more time.
And maybe some more compliments. She’s just so beautiful.
Bayley can’t help herself around Charlotte. Sometimes, though, when Charlotte was looking especially beautiful or she laughed so freely at one of Bayley’s jokes, Bayley felt a small burning sensation in the back of the throat. The burn would start sliding upwards. Lava was bubbling up, and Bayley thought she might drown in it. Then, Bayley would blink and look away. Bayley would give anything to Charlotte, but she had to have something to give. She swallowed harshly, and the lava sunk back into her chest.
Charlotte was the first of the four Horsewomen that Bayley met, and Charlotte was the first one Bayley fell in love with.
x
Bayley met Becky second.
Actually, Bayley met Becky through Charlotte. Charlotte and Becky had become friends, and Charlotte really wanted Bayley to meet her. It was cute because Charlotte was kind of nervous that they wouldn’t get along. But, Charlotte didn’t realize that any friend of hers was already a friend of Bayley’s too.
Bayley was really excited to meet Becky because Charlotte seemed to like her so much. From what Charlotte said, Bayley just knew she would like her too. Bayley hoped that their duo could become a trio. Maybe Becky would even be Charlotte’s maid of honor when Bayley married her. Wow, Charlotte is going to be so beautiful in her wedding dress. Bayley can’t wait.
So, Charlotte introduced Bayley and Becky. Bayley was floored when she first met Becky. She knew instantly that Becky would be an amazing maid of honor. Bayley just had to remember to tell Charlotte not to let Becky wear anything too extravagant. Becky was just so pretty, but the bride is supposed to have all the attention on her. Not that Bayley’s attention would be on Becky. No one could possibly outshine Charlotte. She’s magnificent. But, Becky was just really pretty too. That’s all.
Becky stuck out her hand as a greeting, but Bayley swept her into a hug instead. Charlotte’s friend smelled really nice, and she was super warm. Bayley coughed to clear up a tickle of heat in her throat.
Bayley turned out to be completely right when she assured Charlotte that she would like Becky. Bayley liked Becky right off the bat. Becky was not only really pretty, but she was from Ireland and had the coolest accent. Actually, pretty much everything about Becky Lynch was cool. That only became more apparent as all three of them started spending more time together. Becky was just awesome. At the time, she was totally convinced Becky had a leather jacket and was in a motorcycle gang at night. A nice motorcycle gang though. Because Becky was nice too. She wouldn’t have been in a mean motorcycle gang.
After the first meeting, Bayley and Charlotte’s duo instantly turned into a trio. Again, Bayley was right. Bayley was usually right about these kinds of things. Becky was better than Bayley could have ever imagined though. She would totally be an amazing maid of honor. Sometimes, Bayley thinks that if she hadn’t met Charlotte first, then she would be convinced right now that Becky is her soulmate. But, you can’t have two soulmates, right? And, Charlotte was here first, so she got dibs.
The only thing that made Bayley doubt her decision was how well Becky understood Bayley. Becky understood Bayley in a way that even Charlotte didn’t get her. After a few weeks, Bayley and Becky started hanging out alone when Charlotte was busy. It was so much fun! Bayley sometimes talked more than Becky, but Becky always listened. Becky remembered what Bayley told her too.
One day, Becky was going to pick up lunch for the girls from Bayley’s favorite Italian place. Bayley had been obsessed with the place for months and had told Becky everything about it through extensive rants on its greatness. Becky was about to walk out the door when Bayley remembered she never told Becky what she wanted to order. Panicking, Bayley yelled out for Becky to wait, and Becky, ever the dutiful gentlewoman, paused obediently.
Bayley went to tell Becky what she wanted to order, but Becky waved her off. She told Bayley that she mentioned her favorite meal from there weeks ago, so Becky already knew what to order her.
Becky listened to Bayley, and she always remembered. Becky also always let Bayley curl up against her side when they were watching a movie. She didn’t even have to ask. Becky just opened her arms and Bayley dove right in, inching as close as possible. And, Becky always ran her fingers through Bayley’s hair just like Bayley liked.
When Charlotte was away one night to visit her father, Bayley invited Becky to stay with her. They were laying in bed together. Bayley was cuddled into Becky’s side, and she started to run her fingers through Bayley’s hair while humming a light tune. Instantly, Bayley felt the burn encase her throat again, and she knew she was in love with Becky.
Becky was kind and attentive and accepting. She understood Bayley. Becky doesn’t like fanfare. She isn’t the type for grand gestures. Becky shows that she loves Bayley through the little things. And, that’s all Bayley needed.
Bayley needs Becky. But, Bayley thought she needed Charlotte too. When Charlotte came back from her trip, Bayley and Becky were waiting at the airport for her. Riding back to Charlotte’s apartment, Charlotte and Becky were singing along to a song on the radio with wide smiles on their faces.
Bayley watched both of them, and the lava slide up her throat faster and hotter than ever before. Bayley froze, and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. The lava climbed higher and higher. Bayley glanced at Charlotte sorrowfully and then turned her gaze to Becky.
Bayley couldn’t be in love with two people at once. Even when Bayley was alone with one of them, the lava would start bubbling upwards. Being in love with both of them? Well, there was no way Bayley wouldn't explode. She decided that she was wrong about her feelings for Charlotte, and Bayley only loved Becky. With that, she was finally able to shove the lava back down her throat.
Bayley met Becky second, and she fell in love with Becky second.
Bayley met Charlotte first, and she fell out of love with Charlotte first too.
x
Bayley met Sasha last.
This time, Sasha was introduced to Bayley by Becky. Bayley had heard Charlotte talk about Sasha in the past. The things Charlotte said were not very complimentary, but Becky spoke about Sasha like she was a superhero. Bayley was kind of confused. She trusted Charlotte and Becky fully, but they had two very different opinions on the same person. Bayley decided that she would be cautious around Sasha until she could make sense of her. Bayley trusted the opinions of Becky and Charlotte, but she would form her own opinion on the matter. So, Bayley would be cautious. Careful. She had to be. What if Charlotte was right about Sasha, and Sasha hurt Charlotte or Becky? That’s not acceptable. Bayley doesn’t want to project that on Sasha, so she kept an open mind.
Becky introduced Sasha to Bayley and Charlotte like she was announcing that Elvis had arrived in the building. Haha, get it? Because Elvis usually has left the building? Man, she’s got to tell Becky that one some time. She would love it.
The second Becky entered the room with Sasha, Bayley could see Charlotte tensing up out of the corner of her eye. Wanting to comfort her friend, Bayley wound herself under Charlotte’s arm and snuggled into her neck. Charlotte instantly began to relax and slid her arm further around Bayley’s waist to grip her side. Bayley smiled.
Then, Bayley tuned back into Becky’s introduction and turned her head to look at Sasha for the first time.
Bayley’s first thought was immediate, ‘Why the hell is everyone here so beautiful?’ Her second thought was, ‘How did Sasha manage to look even more uncomfortable than Charlotte?” That thought made Bayley pause for a second. Charlotte had described Sasha as an arrogant sociopath who neither cared for nor acknowledged any person around her. But, to look this uncomfortable, Sasha had to care a little bit. Sasha came here despite being uncomfortable. Why would she do that other than because Becky asked her to come? Sasha did it for Becky.
Bayley can relate. She would do anything for Becky too. Or Charlotte, for that matter. Well, almost anything. She can’t do anything for Charlotte, because that would mean Bayley was still in love with her. And, she had decided she wasn’t anymore.
After having this realization about Sasha though, Bayley felt herself relax a little. Some of the caution began to dissipate. Most people think Bayley had her head up in the clouds, but that’s not true all the time. When she wanted to, Bayley could be pretty observant. And, really, Sasha was pretty easy to read. As Becky brought Sasha around even more, it only became easier for Bayley to read her. Sasha was like the greatest, most complex novel ever written. But, not too complex for Bayley. Reading Sasha felt like something she had practiced for all her life.
Sasha tried to put up this front of apathy. Sometimes, Bayley thought Sasha did it so well that she even convinced herself that she didn’t care about anyone else. Bayley knew that was a lie though. She didn’t really know how much of a lie that was until after one of their NXT shows. Bayley and Sasha had been put in a tag match, while Charlotte and Becky were off the show that night. After the women’s locker room had dwindled out, Bayley was alone with Sasha for the first time. Bayley had known Sasha for a couple weeks at this point, so Sasha felt comfortable enough to make light conversation with her as they left the building.
Bayley was listening to Sasha speak (and not concentrating on how pretty her new friend looked) when they were interrupted by a small voice. Both girls looked over and saw a parent rushing to grab their child, who had stopped in front of them. The little girl, who could not have been older than seven, was tugging lightly on Sasha’s shirt. She was also decked head to toe in Sasha’s NXT merch. She had the shirt, the glasses, and the Boss ring on her finger. It was the most adorable sight Bayley had ever seen in her life. The parent had finally arrived and apologized profusely to Sasha and Bayley for disturbing them after the show. Bayley went to accept their apology and reassure them it was alright when Sasha beat her to the punch.
Bayley watched as Sasha crouched down to be at eye-level with the little girl. A soft smile came upon Sasha’s face that Bayley had never seen before. For the second time in her life, Bayley felt like she had melted into a puddle. Sasha had a short conversation with the adorable little fan, before asking the parent if he wanted to take a picture of the two of them. The father excitedly agreed and fumbled to get his phone out while thanking Sasha for her time. Bayley stood to the side as Sasha turned back to the girl and asked if she could pick her up. The girl shyly nodded her head, and Sasha gently lifted her into her arms. They posed together for several photos before Sasha placed her back on the ground.
Before leaving, the little one quietly asked Sasha for a hug. Instantly, Sasha wrapped the girl up in her arms. Sasha whispered something in the girl’s ear, but Bayley was too far away to hear it. After they let go, they all said their goodbyes. The little girl and her father walked away as Sasha watched them with a small smile on her face. Bayley stared at Sasha as if she had seen her for the first time.
Bayley and Sasha didn’t say much after that. Bayley stayed quiet because she felt scorch marks streaking across her throat. The lava in her chest was burning hot and sent bursts of fire that climbed upwards, leaving behind tracks of Bayley’s burnt love in her throat.
But, after that display, Bayley couldn’t help but sweep Sasha up into their first hug. Sasha froze for a few moments before she slowly relaxed some in Bayley’s arms. Bayley probably held on a little longer than she should have, but Sasha didn’t pull away. Sasha allowed her to hold on. Honestly, that could sum up the beginning of Bayley and Sasha’s relationship perfectly.
Bayley held on, and Sasha allowed her. Sasha didn’t allow anyone else. That was more than enough for Bayley.
When Bayley got home that night, she remembered she was in love with Charlotte once. But, she had to give that up to love Becky. Bayley couldn’t love two people at the same time. Bayley remembered Sasha holding that little girl in her arms with the softest smile on her face, but she remembered the feeling of Becky’s fingers gently running through her hair too. The burn in Bayley’s chest got brighter, and the hot liquid began to ascend her airway, choking her.
Bayley couldn’t love two people at once. Bayley must have been wrong about Becky, just like she had been with Charlotte. Bayley decided that night that she only loved Sasha. Her throat cooled down.
Bayley met Sasha last and fell in love with her last.
Bayley remembered loving Becky second, but now she had to fall out of love with her too.
x
A few months later, Bayley was staying with her three friends in Charlotte’s apartment. Hers was always the most spacious and nicest of the group, so they would usually stay over there. Charlotte’s apartment smelled the nicest too, and she always kept everything so clean. It was perfect, just like Charlotte. That night, Bayley felt like she couldn’t contain the lava within her. Her chest was so tight. She looked at all of her friends, and, suddenly, she couldn’t breathe at all. It was happening. Bayley was going to be empty.
Charlotte told her afterward that Bayley had a panic attack. In the midst of the attack, Bayley felt a body curl up against her side, and two hands grabbed each of hers. A voice whispered into her ear and told her to concentrate on the voice and the squeezing of her hands. The voice was so pretty, so Bayley complied. Eventually, her chest loosened and breathing came easier. Sasha and Becky were holding her hands, and Charlotte had been whispering soothing words into Bayley’s ear. The girls were all looking at her with scared, worried expressions on their faces. Becky was stroking her thumb gently across Bayley’s right hand. Charlotte was smoothing her hair back into place and shaking a little bit. Sasha had a death grip on her left hand and would hardly look away from Bayley long enough to blink.
After Bayley had finally calmed down, she explained to her friends what Bayley’s parents had told her when she was young. That she had to control how much love she gave to the world. She said that sitting here, surrounded by all her best friends, she felt like she was exploding. At that moment, Charlotte asked if Bayley felt empty now.
Blinking in surprise at the question, Bayley looked at each of her best friends again, trying to see if she still felt the same she did before. Bayley was terrified because she knew that all she was going to feel was emptiness. It was all going to be gone.
Bayley looked at Charlotte first. Charlotte, who was her first friend at NXT. Charlotte who was intelligent, kind, protective, and still the most gorgeous woman Bayley had ever seen. Charlotte, who always stood by Bayley’s side no matter what. Charlotte, who could be a little aggressive but had never said a mean word to Bayley. Who would always try to protect Bayley, even when Bayley didn’t need it. Charlotte, who told Bayley once that Bayley was the first person she ever trusted. Who gave that to Bayley, of all people. Charlotte is the most magnificent person Bayley had ever met.
Then, Bayley looked at Becky. Bayley remembered how Becky shows her love in the small gestures. She always listens. She always remembers. Becky always laughs at her jokes. She doesn’t just let Bayley cuddle with her, but Becky pulls Bayley under her arm before Bayley can even get settled. Becky always told the best jokes and had the perfect puns. The coolest person Bayley could imagine. Bayley thinks about Becky and how she is the most fiercely loyal friend who would never abandon her.
Finally, Bayley looked at Sasha. Bayley wished Sasha was smiling right now because she had the most beautiful smile in the world. It was always a little hesitant, but soft. With her eyes shining. And Bayley could gaze at Sasha forever when she is like that. Sasha, who always pretended to be tougher than she is but is so kind when she wants to be. Sasha, who always lets Bayley. Who gave to Bayley by acquiescing to almost anything Bayley would ask, even when Sasha didn’t really want to.
Bayley looked at all three of her friends, and she felt so full. Still. Bayley had exploded, but everything was still inside her. But, it wasn’t trapped. She wasn’t pushing anything down anymore. Her chest wasn’t tight. Her breathing came easy. There was no lava licking at her throat anymore. But, she didn’t feel empty either.
She felt everything for them at once.
It was the happiest moment of Bayley’s life. God. She was in love with all of them. She had been for so long. So long that it had felt like always. But Bayley had never felt it like this before. Had never allowed her love for all of them to wash over her all at once.
Bayley thinks back to her Earth Science class. And, now, she remembers talking about rivers. Rivers, who have an endless supply of water if left untouched. Who give so much to the valleys around them and all the life surrounding them, but are always replenished. Bayley’s parents had it wrong. Bayley was never a volcano.
Bayley was a river. She could love all three of them because her love was replenishing. An endless stream. Bayley could love them until the end of time.
And, she did.