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It was that time of the year, November 5th to be exact. Soonyoung doesn't like remembering it but he does albeit it's happened years ago, he'll always remember it — and also because his friends remember it too.
"I wouldn't know what I'd do if I were you in that situation, Soon." Wonwoo laughs, tipping his head back as he sips from his canned beer.
Seokmin grins at him, "That's because y – I'll shut up now," he cuts himself off, grinning at Wonwoo who was glaring at him to shut up, both completely forgetting that Soonyoung still feels something about it.
"And what have you been up to?" Jihoon pouts from the other line, trying to keep the smile from coming out.
Soonyoung grins at the camera, "Nothing special, just," he shrugs, "thinking about you, meh." He teasingly shrugs as if it was nothing.
"Asshole," Jihoon mutters softly but the blush on his cheeks doesn't go unnoticed by the older which excited him even more.
He hums, "You like it anyway."
Jihoon puffs looking away from the camera, "So what if I do, it's none of your business."
Soonyoung laughs aloud, his head tipping back and Jihoon melts just watching his boyfriend's eyes become smaller and his cheeks squished together and the sound of his dumb laugh and—
"I love you, Soon," he breathes out. His chest feels like it's on fire, like a boulder planted in it but with fire. He's a mess.
Soonyoung stops laughing, unsure of what he just heard, "Babe?"
Then Jihoon's lets out a soft chuckle, he shakes his head.
"Hey, I gotta go. I have to shower — dad called me to make sure I take a shower. You know, because I just got back from the hospital. I visited her! Seems nice, it's cool."
"Baby, you're rambling, what's up?" Soonyoung takes a seat on his couch, warily watching Jihoon's every twitch on his face but there's none.
"Nothing," he drags, "call you soon? I have papers to finish and compositions, you know, for the evaluation and work, gotta work, babe. Catch up with you soon?" Jihoon smiles, which makes Soonyoung a little angry because he's doing it again.
Pretending nothing's wrong, not saying anything, having to go through it by himself. Which, makes him very thoughtful yet, too selfish as what Mingyu had told him when they fought for the second time.
"Jihoon," he sighs but the younger clears his throat.
"Really, Soon. It's fine, I can handle it this time."
Soonyoung smiles back in content as Jihoon gives him the softest smile, "Miss you, see you soon, okay?" Jihoon nods, rolling his eyes as if he's forced to give Soonyoung a virtual kiss before muttering a soft goodbye to end the call.
"My baby is always in denial," he says as his chest tightens in affection.
He whips his head to a cringing Wonwoo and an unbelieving Seokmin with their mouths agape.
"Jihoon hyung?" Seokmin whispers, astonished.
Wonwoo sighs getting up from the floor, he mutters to himself that has both of his friends chuckling, "that was so icky, I want one."
It's been a week and a half since he's seen Jihoon, real-life Jihoon, not virtual Jihoon.
Having to attend different universities was quite overwhelming but they made it work. They don't even meet at the hospital as they both work and attend universities which makes it really exhausting emotionally.
After their call last week, Soonyoung noticed Jihoon's been quite... silent, maybe? He talks a lot, but his silence always speaks volumes. It only means three things.
One, he's feeling fine not really needing to talk. Which is the best type of silent Jihoon.
Two, anxious Jihoon. The silence affects him in every way, let it be maths, work — anything.
And three, secretive Jihoon. He's always been private about himself. He may talk a lot but it's never so much about him and how he feels.
Sometimes, a mixture of both could lead into making rational decisions for himself.
Soonyoung stands in front of Jihoon's door, unfamiliarly nervous as he knocks, "Hoonie?"
"Coming." Maybe you can call him observant, but Soonyoung notices it didn't sound like his coming with a higher tone.
I mean when your boyfriend's been with you for about 6 years, including friendship years, you notice it.
Jihoon smiles brightly at the sight of his boyfriend, immediately wrapping his arms around his neck.
"Holy shit, I missed you." Jihoon breathes which makes Soonyoung hug him even closer. The latter smiles softly as he turns his head a little to the side, pressing a soft kiss on the younger's nape.
Soonyoung pushes their bodies back inside Jihoon's flat. He pats Jihoon's ass, getting a glare in return. Soonyoung smiles cheekily before leaning down a little to give his boyfriend a kiss they've both been waiting for.
"Hmm," Jihoon hums and smiles as Soonyoung holds his neck softly but smiles along.
"We really cant kiss properly if we're just going to smile on each other," Jihoon mumbles, his lips brushing on Soonyoung's.
The older giggles, pecking Jihoon's bottom lip, "You talk too much."
After a day of basically squeezing a week and a half in 18 hours since ten a.m., Jihoon pulls away breathlessly from Soonyoung's lips, both with smiles on their faces.
"I really should get going," Jihoon mumbles hazily. Soonyoung brushes his now short black hair back, kissing his lips once more getting a smile in return.
"You're lucky I love you so fucking much, I'd drop your ass if you didn't you dumbass, this is your flat." Jihoon chuckles lazily, shaking his head.
Every twitch of the muscle.
"Hoonie, what's wrong?" Soonyoung narrows his eyes at Jihoon who shakes his head. His eyes not looking at Soonyoung's, but at his fingers which traces the older's brows, dragging it softly down to his eyelids. The older's lids flutter close as he hums, enjoying every second he spends with him, every second of admiration from the boy he deeply loves.
Jihoon hums a tune — a tune Soonyoung's heard once after the visit at the hospital — from one his compositions, What Kind of Future.
Soonyoung feels the younger's finger softly tracing its way to his lips, and then he opens his eyes.
The sight in front of him breaks him, his Jihoon completely broken and face wet with tears.
"I wrote that. It was impulsive, really. I thought of losing you and I just —"
"You have me, Jihoon. Always will. Completely yours, a hundred and six percent, baby. All yours."
Then it hits him.
Jihoon's anxious about something.
He pulls the younger closer to his chest as the other sniffles silently, "I love you, okay? I really do, Soonyoung. So much. I know I don't say it as much even if you deserve so much more, but I do," Soonyoung's eyes sting at the thought of Jihoon constantly doubting himself without knowing what goes through his head or when the thought hits him.
"You are for me, Jihoon. Always, you and me." Soonyoung leans down, giving Jihoon a heavy kiss, enough to make him understand that he always thinks of the future with Jihoon smiling along with him. Always.
He reaches over for his phone from the night stand, seemingly alone as he reads Seokmin's message that he's gone out with Wonwoo and Jeonghan to grab late snacks.
He furrows his brows as he hears knocks on their front door, a familiar pattern to it he smiles before he opens the door widely to greet his boyfriend with a huge hug.
Except he doesn't.
Jihoon looks at him with a stoic face. Uneasiness washes over him as he instantly recalls what he might have done wrong.
"Wha—"
"I want out, Soonyoung."
"O-out?"
Right then, he understood what it felt when Mingyu talked about how he felt like the world stopped spinning when Wonwoo ended things.
Right then, he finally understood how it felt when he broke up with her. Right then, as young as he is, knew he wasn't just into Jihoon. He's not just in love with Jihoon.
He's entirely, completely, so very in love with him.
His world stopped.
"No, Jihoon." Soonyoung's voice wavers, his eyes watering in pain. He shakes his head firmly, "No."
"Soonyoung—"
"I don't know what the fuck fed your thoughts but I love you, you love me. You do okay, you wouldn't tell me otherwise if you didn't because the word itself grossed you out before but no. So tell me what the fuck happened because I know this isn't what we both want. Not now, not even someday." Soonyoung's heart beats thrice faster as he looks at how Jihoon crouches down, completely tired and defeated.
He sobs shaking his head, "Soonie, please."
And fuck right there, Soonyoung can't let Jihoon go, not when he knows something's eating him inside enough to let go of what Jihoon had confidently verbally wanted. Jihoon wouldn't let something like this go, no. Not Soonyoung.
Soonyoung clears his throat before leaning down to help his boyfriend up, "Baby, what's wrong?"
At that, Jihoon's frown deepens and suddenly stands up to wrap his arms around Soonyoung's waist, burying his face on his chest.
"Soonyoung you deserve someone so much better, I can't fucking say I love you unless I get so overwhelmed but I do love you, you know? I really really do and I know she'd shower you in affection and I love yous, sure. I'm sorry I could never be like her."
Then it clicks.
Soonyoung's heart feels like bursting, never thought he could love the boy so much more than he already does but he always ends up surprised.
"I told you to stop visiting her, you know I only go there because of her mother. Plus, she's a pathological liar. You know how she works around."
Jihoon sniffles, "I know, but when she gets better, I want her to be okay with me."
Soonyoung sighs, pressing a soft kiss on his hair, "Baby she cheated on me remember? You know what you told me?" Jihoon nods, but stays silent so Soonyoung continues. He brings one hand on Jihoon's cheek to comfort the soft sobs, "You don't deserve that, why bother?"
"That moment, as cringey as it is, I realized you treated me way better than anyone did. You make me happier than anyone ever did or will do." He sways them left and right, hoping it would comfort the smaller.
Jihoon's sniffles have subsided as he places his chin on Soonyoung's collarbone, his hands holding Soonyoung's waist comfortably, "But, she needs you, Soon."
The latter snorts, "But I want you," he says looking down. He leans down pecking Jihoon's lips before Jihoon smiles softly.
"You're right," he kisses his collarbone, "you want and need me, I fucking want and need you, but she needs you though you don't need and want her. It's 4 points against 1 and two more negatives, majority wins." He gently places both his hands on Soonyoung's neck, then closing their eyes, leaning down immediately complying to his boyfriend.
"Do not ever try breaking up with me again," Soonyoung mumbles with a smile as his lips brush against Jihoon's.
"Sorry, my bad." Jihoon shrugs, hopping to wrap his legs around Soonyoung's waist.
Wonwoo places his can on the table, "And the rest is history," Soonyoung shrugs mindlessly.
"Home!" Mingyu screams as he opens the door and finds two more pairs of eyes looking at him than the usual one.
"Why are you two here?" Mingyu's eyes widen at his two other friends.
"What's wrong?" Wonwoo's brow cocks up in confusion.
Seokmin rolls his eyes before walking over to Mingyu, "You're still the ever dramatic." He pats the younger's cheek before a raven haired pulls him to the couch.
Soonyoung cringes, "You two won't fit."
"This is our house, watch us," Soonyoung rolls his eyes at Wonwoo anyway, two dramatic people as one living under one roof and having them as your best friends isn't always too shabby.
"You said you were going to come back for me!" Soonyoung smiles at the voice and looks over at a terrified Mingyu as his little can of hearts walks in the room.
"Hi baby," he leans down for a quick peck only for Soonyoung to meet him halfway, "Mingyu!" He glares as if nothing just happened.
Mingyu pouts and points at Wonwoo, "I swear I was going to help but this dickhead pulled me."
"And you followed?" Jihoon retorts, dropping the bags to the floor.
Wonwoo snorts, "Right?"
Mingyu would laugh at Seokmin's tiny 'hyung, the eggs.' if he weren't on Jihoon's hit list at the moment.
"Anyway, shouldn't you two be separated by now?" Soonyoung looks at Seokmin disbelievingly, "Now?"
Jihoon ignores Mingyu, walking around to get to the couch and lie on Soonyoung's lap.
"The rule says 24 hours before the wedding, Seok, not a week." Jihoon says as he grabs his phone from his pocket.
"What's the point?" Seokmin's face distorts in confusion, giving Mingyu a look to answer him. The youngest shrugs, "I don't know? Tradition?"
"You two should seal the deal, too." Soonyoung shrugs as he plays with Jihoon's hair, the other on the latter's chest as Jihoon twirls the ring around his fiancé's finger.
"Ugh, wedding talks," Seokmin groans rolling off the couch before Mingyu or Wonwoo could even say anything, he picks up the bags throwing the two couples oranges.
Mingyu smiles as he mouths what his best friend is about to say, he's been hearing it since they were fifteen, "So expensive."
should i do a minwon spin off fldjhshsgs