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“Live through this and you won’t look back”
“You were what I wanted. I gave what I gave. I’m not sorry I met you, I’m not sorry it’s over, I’m not sorry there’s nothing to say”
Victor stares down at Eli’s lifeless body – something he’s seen before (exactly like this before, since Eli hadn’t aged a day) and yet it still doesn’t look right. And it certainly feels all wrong. It isn’t at all what Victor had been expecting to feel. He thought he’d feel relief or joy, but no. He feels cold and empty nothingness and a lingering dull pain somewhere deep in his chest that he isn’t ready to acknowledge.
His physical pain creeps back in, reminding him that he needs to leave before EON shows up. But leaving feels like trying to force apart two magnets stuck together at opposite poles. And what an apt metaphor that was. Always opposing each other, yet always ending up back together. So similar and yet they both thought they couldn’t be more different.
Things could have been so different. They’d had a real bond back in school. Eli’s one major downfall was his religious tendencies, which is what led him to be so god damn righteous in his “mission”. If Eli could have just let that go before becoming an EO, or changed his mind when he’d died and Victor had brought him back…
Because it was Victor who had brought him back. Victor dragging Eli’s cold, lifeless body out of the freezing water. He still remembers the pain in his hands as he plunged them into the water, still bitter that Eli didn’t show any sign of pain as he’d submerged his whole body.
And yet Eli always thanked God for bringing him back. Said that it was God who gave him that second chance. But if it hadn’t been Victor’s hands pumping his chest, Victor pushing warm air into his lungs…
Well Victor sure as shit didn’t believe in God after going through hell to die and come back. Dying was dark and black and cold and painful.
Victor took a glance back at the body on the floor, looking so similar to that night. Eli had been even paler then, a chilling shade of blue under his skin. Now, red colours the floor around him. Victor has never been bothered by death, he was training to be a doctor after all. So why was the scene making his stomach turn? He is thankful that he forgets the question due to the distant calls of EON soldiers. He has to slip out quietly and make a run for it through the forest.
He runs for safety, somewhere warm to sleep where he can tend to his wound. When he finally has somewhere to rest, sleep won’t take him. When he closes his eyes, he only sees Eli. Dead.