Chapter Text
He’d been to several doctors, all of them telling him his near blinding nerve pain and aches would pass in time. Lyrium was a hell of a withdrawal. If it wasn’t the insomnia keeping him up at all hours, it was the anxiety it brought with it. Hitting when he was down, making him second guess everything he’d ever done. Finally, on his way to the after-hours clinic again, he bumped into a thicker woman, unimposing looking with half frame glasses. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He tried to clear his throat as the agony wracked his body. “It’s ok, most people don’t. You… you don’t look too good. Can I help?”
“Unless you’re a doctor, I don’t know. At this point I’m willing to try anything.” Hanging his head, he was trapped. Shackled to a body failing him, with a mind beating him down further. “I might be able to. This is going to sound totally insane but come with me.” She held her hand out, waiting for him. Blinking a couple times, he placed his hand in her. What was there to lose? If she took him to the parking lot and stabbed him to death, he might actually get some decent sleep. “I… Alright. Uh, my name is Cullen.” He was still struggling to clear the thickness in his throat, that tightened and threatened to choke off his air. “I…”
“You’re one of them. I can tell. Ex-Templar. They don’t help your kind very well. Shitty bastards.” Gritting her teeth, she took her time and walked him outside. “I’m parked just over here. Did you walk or?”
“Walk. Can’t drive. Too much pain.” He was beginning to feel dizzy again, the same thing he’d been feeling for days now. Since they took him off the lyrium, since he handed in his badge and left. Now he was blearily aware of the young woman helping him into her car, passing the buckle over his hips and clipping it in. “Try to relax. I promise, I’m here to help. My name is Lara. I… I had a brother who was one of your kind once.”
“You… who…” her voice was beginning to blend together, and his pain was starting to cause him to shake. The meds they’d given him were wearing off and he was starting to go back into heavy withdrawal. Something the fourth doctor had told him about. “There will be periods of intense nausea, loss of sensation and numbness or cold extremities. Cold sweats can waver to intense periods of heat. You’ll want to crawl out of your skin. And these are all the lesser symptoms, Captain Cullen. Are you serious about going through this? You can continue…”
“I want out. I’m not a templars anymore.” He’d clenched his jaw and managed to bite out the words as his stomach flopped about. “Is there anything you can give for the pain?”
“Certainly not. Anything I can prescribe will only exacerbate the situation. Or worse, create a chemical addiction to those drugs. You will simply have to suffer through it, I’m sorry.” Signing off on some paperwork, the doctor was done with him as quickly as he’d seen him.
“Hey, stay with me Cullen.” Lara’s hand was on his thigh, trying to rub and soothe. “Not ideal, I know but we’re almost there. I promise some relief soon.”
“Relief…” his mind tried to wrap around the words. “I… it’s been…”
“Too long. I know.” Her tone had lowered, and he could feel the anger that radiated through her as she drove. “Damned Chantry, tossing it’s men and women on the streets after getting them addicted. Bloody bastards.” Pulling down a street that mirrored the last three she coasted the car into the driveway of a single-story bungalow. “Come on, I’ll help you inside if you need it.” Seeing him second guess her she sighed, “look at me. Do I look like someone who could harm you? I’m a clean thirty pounds overweight, at least half a foot shorter than you and I wheeze if I go up stairs. You, on the other hand could snap my neck in a blink of an eye, and I bet you wouldn’t even think about it.”
“I… I wouldn’t harm you.” He blinked as he clicked the release on his seat belt. “I… you are right. I… it is not easy to trust.”
“Believe me, I know.” Dropping her head for a moment she let her dyed purple hair slide over her eyes. “Come on. Sooner we get inside, the sooner you can get some relief.”
Cullen held his thoughts to himself as he exited the car and climbed the few steps to her front door. Waiting for her to unlock it, he took a look around, trying his best to memorize the street name and house number.
“It’s not much. Not since mom and dad died, but it serves it’s purpose.” Waving him in she sighed again heavily. “I should tell you about myself, it might help to put you at ease. My name is Lara Selke, my brother was a templar, like our father before him. He… they kicked him out of the order because he refused to do something, he felt was wrong. When he came home, he was a mess,” walking into the living room, she pointed him to a couch. “Withdrawal hit him hard. All the Chantry doctors tried to get him to repent and beg to rejoin the templars. He did that, and they turned him out. He….” Tears ran hot down her cheeks, “the withdrawal took him. Bastards.”
Sitting stunned and aching he went to stand when his legs gave out. “Shit… I’m sorry.” He mumbled as he struggled to get to his feet. Suddenly her arms were around him, carefully easing him up, steadying him. “Please, don’t apologize. I want to help. You aren’t the first to fall and if I could have my way you would be the last.” She had a warm smile upon her thick lips, a tint of rouge across her high cheek bones. “Forgive me, if this is upsetting to you… I… it’s instinct by now. Please, sit.”
“Alright, thank you Lara.” Allowing her to guide him into the couch he sighed. It was soft and seemed to hug him in a way that comforted his aching body. Closing his eyes, he thanked her again. Silence returned his words and slowly he cracked an eye open to see her coming back from what he thought was the kitchen, a tall glass of ice water in her hand. “Here, take a few sips. Then, we’ll figure you out.” Her smile easily disarmed any fear he may have had as he drank nearly half the glass. “Good. Now, tell me your pain.”
Cullen went into detail. It was so mechanical at this point, he’d ratted it off at least a dozen times to doctors and half a dozen more to nurses. As he spoke, he caught the look in her eyes, a deep sorrow, easily he tied it to the loss of her brother, his story must be so like his. “I’m sorry, I’m causing you pain.” He’s furrowed his brow, looking down into the cup in his lap. “I… I don’t have anyone. At least, not anyone that knows. I… I wasn’t kicked out. I left.”
“Brave.” She uttered before rising again. “I’ll be a moment. Make yourself comfortable. Have you eaten today? Recently? You look a little gaunt about the cheeks.” She flushed a deep red again as her eyes grazed over him. He was dressed comfortably, a pair of loose fitted jeans with a plain t-shirt under his bomber jacket. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, not since the withdrawal kicked in. There was a fear of cutting himself or worse and he hadn’t bothered. His hair was similar, his hands shook too badly to properly tend to it and now it had worked its way out of the product he’d used to tame his wavy curls. Running his hand through his hand, out of nervous habit he watched her smile again at him before she dipped into the kitchen.
Looking about the room there were no red alarms raised in his mind. Pictures on the wall were of family, larger ones sat upon a heavy oak mantle above an old looking fireplace. Well used and often tended to, by the look of the wood pile next to it. It was comfortable, cozy even and reminded him fondly of his childhood home. Small, too small for his large family but just right when alone. This living room felt off, empty. Looking at the picture above the fireplace he could see why. They were tight knit, and she clearly loved her brother. With no one left this was her only life. “Hey,” she smiled again sitting next to him. “How’s the pain?”
“Manageable, if you want to hear a lie. Killing me slowly, if you want the truth.” He chuckled weakly at his own gallows humor. Placing a hand on top of his she drew in a long breath, “I can’t ask you to totally trust a stranger, and I know all this must seem like some crazy dream, but I promise this will help.” Placing an odd-looking glass apparatus on the coffee table she handed him a thin hose coming from the object. “This is perfectly legal, and entirely safe. I promise you it will make you feel so much better and I will be there with you.” She slipped another glass tube filled with an odd-looking green herb into the apparatus. “Just put that piece in your mouth and when I tell you to, breath in. Hold that breath for a few seconds and let it out.”
“I… alright.” Unsure of any of it, he watched her take out a lighter and burn the herb. She had a similar looking hose and puffed a few times, smoke coiled up. “Now.” She calmly said exhaling away from his face. “It’s medicinal and I promise it will help.”
At this point he was more than willing to try it, try anything that might help. Drawing in a lung full he coughed and sputtered. It didn’t burn, not like he was expecting. Instead he felt his body hum, a soft pulse as the ache began to float away from him. “Careful, not too much. I don’t want you to green out.” She giggled before drawing another puff. “Take another good lung full and that’ll be enough for now.”
Following her instructions, the second intake was smoother, and his lungs didn’t struggle. Holding it for a count of three he blow out. No smoke came out, only usual air to his eyes. “What…”
“Marijuana. It’s legal, but most people don’t know how to use it for your situation or what it can do. How do you feel?” Placing her hose down she paused. “It’s called a hookah. Useful for those who can’t pull the air or don’t know how much to take. I only filled the chamber with enough to calm your body. Nothing more.”
“I… there’s no pain.” Flexing his fingers out he smiled. “No pain at all. But… I’m hungry.”
“Good. You haven’t eaten in some time. I can tell. Nausea is one of the symptoms. You can sit here or join me in the kitchen. Either way, its up to you.” Calmly and with a practiced ease she rose from his side and went to the kitchen where she instantly began cooking a hearty meal. Cullen sat a few moments longer on the couch, absorbing the sudden easing of his symptoms.
Standing was interesting and odd. There was no initial shock of pain, or the weakness his limbs held when the withdrawal hit. Further to that his stomach was calm, and hunger ached through him. Walking down the hall he made his way towards the kitchen. Settling at the island she was working at he watched with a renewed interest as she whipped and beat some eggs. “What…”
“Omelet. Rich with protein and easy on the tummy. Need to build your strength up and it’ll break down quickly enough. Hope you aren’t allergic. Are you?”
“No. No I’m fine. I like eggs.” He felt the heaviness of his eyelids forcing them half open. “This… is a really strange but wonderful feeling.”
“Pain free. Soon, a full belly to go with it.” Her smile was bright and to him the sights seemed sharper, and more complex. That’s when he noticed an interesting side effect. “It’s quiet.” He muttered the words out softly, as the smile began to growl across his lips. His mind was still. Something he hadn’t experienced since the days he took the lyrium. It washed away his worries, and after time he knew eventually his mind. That was one of the things he couldn’t let happen. One of the reasons he’d decline half the prescriptions given by the doctors. “This is more addictive than the lyrium.” He growled staring at the letter in his hand. “Opioids are one of the most addictive substances in modern medicine.”
“That’s all we have for your symptoms. Either except it or don’t.” The doctor coldly shrugged typing away in his record before logging out of the computer and leaving him alone with the script. Cullen immediately ripped it up and threw it in the garbage before storming from the office, the anger the only thing keep him moving.
“Are you alright?” Lara touched his hand and broke him from his thoughts. “Lunch is served.” Placing the meal before him she hummed to herself as she turned to clean her mess. “Thank you,” he managed to get out in a croak, the emotions wearing on him. Taking the fork, he began to dig into the omelet. Fresh bits of chunked ham, cheese and vegetables tasted bright and fresh as he greedily shoved it into his mouth. Once the platter was clean, he looked up to see her smiling wide, a cup of steaming coffee in her hands. “How do you feel?”
“Full.” He sighed content and at peace. “But…tired.”
“Good. Follow me.” Moving around the counter she led him down the hall to a bedroom. “It was my brother’s now it serves as my little templar clinic.” Opening the closet, she took his jacket and hung it. “There are clothes in the drawers, something will fit, I promise. You can shower in the morning. Sleep will hit you hard and fast once you lay down. In the bathroom in the drawer are brand new, still in package tooth brushes and small tubes of travel size toothpaste. Clean up, change and lay down. Don’t worry about anything else for today. We’ll talk and enjoy a cup of coffee tomorrow.”