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“Well done!” Jiang Cheng hears his father say from across the training grounds.
It catches his attention immediately and his gaze involuntarily flits away from his sparring partner to where his father is standing with his hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Suibian is hovering before him, suspended in the air awaiting his command even though he had forged his sword less than a month before. It should be impossible, it certainly was for Jiang Cheng, but honestly, he can't even find it in himself to be surprised. Wei Wuxian had showed him a shadow of this same trick the day before, though he was barely able to keep it hovering for more than a second or two before it fell.
Suibian continues to hover steadily without even a slight tremor. Wei Wuxian is beaming. His father looks proud.
Jiang Cheng gets hit in the gut with a practice sword.
Stars pop into his vision as the wind gets knocked out of his lungs and his back hits the dirt hard with a muted thud. His sparring partner rushes over and is frantically apologizing, but he can’t even spare a glance. Suibian is still hovering and his father still hasn't looked away. He is still smiling softly down at Wei Wuxian with warmth in his eyes, not concerned at all for his son, and Jiang Cheng feels physically ill.
But then again, it’s always been like this. “You’re improving, A-Xian,” his father had said the week before. “Good work!” He said the month before that. Jiang Cheng can’t remember the last time his father spoke to him in such a way, maybe because it hasn’t actually happened. It’s this whole fucked up situation if he’s being honest. It’s in the way his mother fuels the fire instead of trying to smother it, the way his father never denies her claims and instead always tries to back out of the conversation. It’s in the way Wei Wuxian seems to let these matters roll off his shoulders while Jiang Cheng takes them full on like arrows to the chest.
His father doesn’t look at him him, but Wei Wuxian does. And suddenly, Suibian falls.
The proud smile on Wei Wuxian’s face immediately drops as he notices Jiang Cheng on the ground. Though in no time at all, it’s replaced by a smarmy grin that makes Jiang Cheng, not for the first time, want to hit him.
Wei Wuxian is walking over to him, leaving his sword on the ground, leaving the grasp of his father's still outstretched hand to come crouch next to Jiang Cheng. “I always knew you were a clutz,” he says with his stupid grin, “I didn't realize you were scatterbrained too!” He’s laughing, as usual, as he reaches out his hand for Jiang Cheng to grab.
Ice seems to flood his veins as he stares up at Wei Wuxian’s smug fucking face. Jiang Cheng scrambles up to his feet, batting aside Wei Wuxian’s hand, and makes the mistake of again looking for his father. His father who is now picking up Suibian, dusting it off, his eyes never looking up.
“Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian says, standing back up. His grin has cracked, he looks a bit upset which only serves to fuel the jealous festering rot that seems to have taken up residence in Jiang Cheng’s stomach. What the fuck does he have to be upset about? Everything he attempts, he succeeds at. In every competition, he is first and all the while father, HIS father, looks at Wei Wuxian like he hung the fucking moon.
With a hard shove, Jiang Cheng pushes Wei Wuxian aside and spits out, “Don't talk to me,” with as much venom and spite as he is able. Wei Wuxian doesn't fall, doesn't even appear jostled, just looks confused and hurt. In this moment, Jiang Cheng fiercely and intentionally does not care. There’s a cruel part of him that feels somewhat vindicated that he could wipe of Wei Wuxian’s ever present smirk. With one last glare, he turns on his heel and storms off back into the house.
Wei Wuxian follows him because he’s an idiot who apparently can’t read the fucking room. “Jiang Cheng!” He calls out, as he rushes to catch up. “Jiang Cheng are you alright? Did you hit your head when you fell? Oh wait, maybe your partner played dirty and tripped you on purpose? That guy always has been kind of a jerk. I can go beat him up for you! Put him on the grou-”
Jiang Cheng rounds on him, shoving him again with more force this time. Wei Wuxian stumbles back more out of shock than actual force, and for some reason that’s the last straw. “Don’t. Fucking. Talk to me!!” Jiang Cheng is yelling now, and he knows that he looks childish, that he sounds petty, but he just can’t bring himself to care. “You’re so annoying, do you ever shut up? All you do is fuck around and run your mouth, yet somehow you’re still Yunmeng’s golden boy!” Jiang Cheng realizes he has been advancing as he’s been yelling, backing Wei Wuxian against a wall where he stands with wide, confused eyes.
It’s unfamiliar to be the one causing this particular expression, in fact Jiang Cheng has beaten up people that made Wei Wuxian look like this. He acknowledges in the back of his mind that he may have to beat himself up for this later even if the festering envy wins in the short term. But right now, Jiang Cheng wants to make this hurt. So he lies, “I’m so sick of you Wei Wuxian. You never should have come to live here.”
Without a second glance Jiang Cheng walks off, knowing immediately that he went too far, knowing also that he is far to stubborn and prideful to turn back and admit he was wrong. So, he walks, past the courtyard, past the main house, past his sister’s balcony and into the lotus garden where he hopes no one will follow him. He’s shaking, all that pent up adrenaline is making him jittery so he keeps walking, running, sprinting to the outer edge of the garden, the very edge of the boundary that he and Wei Wuxian would always try to push.
The two of them used to come here all the time. It was far enough from the house where their mischief wouldn’t be seen, but still within the boundary to avoid any real trouble. The first time Jiang Cheng took Wei Wuxian here, he immediately leaped into the water fully clothed, laughing about it the whole time. And then (of course) he convinced Jiang Cheng to do the same. The underside of the wooden dock became their secret base, the lotus pedals became their meeting table. If Jiang Cheng looks, he’s sure he would see remnants of their battle plans carved out along the bottom side of the wooden planks.
Once, and only once, they decided to push the boundary together. They brought out a boat, just a small canoe filled with some snacks and a few essentials, and decided they were going to row all the way to the ocean. It only took two hours of travel before Wei Wuxian decided they had to turn back. He said it was out of hunger, that the food they brought was bad and wouldn’t last, that they needed to be home in time for dinner to eat his Shijie’s soup. Jiang Cheng was surprised and upset at the time, it was Wei Wuxian’s idea in the first place (as it usually is), why would he want to turn back? Now though, Jiang Cheng understands better, sees more. To Wei Wuxian they were leaving their sister behind, their family, their home. Their family situation is not by any stretch of the imagination ideal, but it is a family. There is love in this household, strained at times, abundant at others, but always present.
Jiang Cheng can’t leave things like this.
So, as quickly as he got there, Jiang Cheng turns back. He hadn’t even fully caught his breath from the run here before he turns right back around and heads for the house. Wei Wuxian should never think, even fleetingly, that he isn’t wanted here. His influences are everywhere, from the doodles hung up proudly on his sister’s bedroom walls, to the small wooden box hidden beneath Jiang Cheng’s bed full of treasures they collected together years ago.
So he walks, runs, sprints, back to the house to… what exactly? Jiang Cheng knows he can’t apologize. He’s tried. Apparently his version of ‘sincere’ is never sincere enough which just makes people more upset. Though if anyone were to understand the intent behind his stilted and clumsy apology, it would be Wei Wuxian.
He’s just going to wing it, maybe Jiang Cheng won’t have to say anything at all and Wei Wuxian will just know, in that way he just gets it sometimes. Though Jiang Cheng may not know what he’s going to do, he does know exactly where to go. His sister’s balcony overlooks the lotus garden and even from afar he can see that the doors are open. In all the years Wei Wuxian has lived in this house, not once has he used the actual front door to Jiang Yanli’s bedroom, preferring to instead scale the building like some sort of idiot.
Since Jiang Cheng is a smart, rational, level headed person, he does not make the vertical climb up the side of the building even though he knows he totally could do it if he wanted to. (He can’t. He’s tried. Jiang Yanli found him submerged in the lotus garden below with a sprained wrist.)
Reaching the house, Jiang Cheng slows, catching his breath and trying to gain some composure back before he attempts to make right. Sooner than he would have liked, he reaches his sister’s door which is, unsurprisingly, closed. Figuring that at this point, he can’t really sink much lower, Jiang Cheng puts his ear to the door and listens.
It’s quiet, which is an alarming statement when Wei Wuxian is involved. Neither of them are talking, and all Jiang Cheng can hear is a soft melodious hum that he recognizes as his sister. This continues for almost a minute, and Jiang Chen is considering just going in, when finally he hears, “I knew you would look good with a braid.” Jiang Yanli says softy. “It makes you look more adult, like those young men in town that always look as if they have somewhere important to be.”
“Really? You think so? Maybe if I wear my hair like this into town the old woman running the fruit stand won’t recognize me! Then I can finally convince her to give me some peaches!” There’s a pause, and a bit of movement before he continues, “Shijie, do you think I could pull it off? All I need to do is change my clothes and I’ll barely look like myself!”
“I could do your makeup too if you want. And I’m not encouraging you to scam any old ladies, but I may make peach tarts if you’re successful.” She’s smiling, Jiang Cheng can hear it in her voice.
Wei Wuxian cheers, “Shijie you’re the best! You spoil me so much, what would I do without you?”
Jiang YanLi is laughing now, and Jiang Cheng can’t help but smile in return. “You would starve, I’m sure of it.”
“Hmm, you think so? Shijie,” He pauses briefly, tone still light as he asks, “What would you do if I left? Just changed my appearance and went out on my own?”
Jiang Cheng can feel his heart beating in his throat, regret and fear almost choking him when Jiang Yanli responds without hesitation, “I would go after you. You belong here, at home, and I wouldn’t stop until I had you back.” Her voice is still soft, but her words hold conviction, and Jiang Cheng knows how she feels. “I would make A-cheng help me too, if he wasn’t already out searching for you.”
“Ah,” Jiang Cheng hears the rustle of fabric, as if someone is changing position. “I don’t know if he would. I think he would have a better life if I wasn’t here.”
There’s a pause in which Jiang Yanli must be giving him a disbelieving look since Wei Wuxian continues, “What? It’s true! Madam Yu and Uncle are always fighting because of me, and he always gets pulled into it even though he didn’t do anything wrong and...” He trails off.
Jiang Yanli responds, “And you have done something wrong?” A pause, then, “That wasn’t a trick question A-Xian. Mother and father’s arguments are just as unfair to you as they are to him. It’s wrong of them to single each of you out and compare you to each other. I know that you understand it isn’t your fault that this happens.” Jiang Yanli sighs and continues, “As for A-Cheng, he would be miserable if you left. I don’t know what happened today to make you upset, but the two of you are brothers. He loves you, even if he never says it, and you love him too.”
“Shijie,” Wei Wuxian says, in a tone so familiar Jiang Cheng can picture his face clearly. He would still be smiling, though it’s probably wobbly around the corners, eyes scrunched up and a little wet, maybe a hand tugging at his bangs as he says, “I think I messed up.”
Jiang Cheng can practically feel his heart split in two. He’s about to go in, hand on the door when he hears, “He fell, he got hurt and I just laughed at him. I made fun of him Shijie, while he was on the ground I just teased him instead of… I don’t know. I don’t know what I should have done! Definitely not add insult to injury, but I just didn’t think. Why didn’t I just take a second to think?”
God, he's never heard Wei Wuxian sound that way, like he's breaking and clueless and hurt. Jiang Cheng takes a moment to push down the sickening lump that made its way into his throat then steels himself for whats next. Slowly, he draws in a breath, straightens his back, and quietly opens the door.
There he sees his two siblings sitting on the sheets that were pulled haphazardly onto the floor from Jiang Yanli’s bed, surrounded by a menagerie of hair ribbons. Wei Wuxian is in his sister’s arms, pulled close to her chest with her hand carefully undoing his braid so she can stroke his hair. He’s still talking, muffled now by the fabric of Jiang Yanli’s shirt, but it’s clear he’s upset, clear that he’s crying. He doesn’t notice Jiang Cheng standing in the doorway. Jiang YanLi,however, does. She smiles at him softly and with the hand not in Wei Wuxian’s hair, she motions for him to come over.
So he does.
He walks, runs, sprints the short distance and practically bowls over both of his siblings, wrapping them in his arms. The three of them fall into a heap atop the bedding, Wei Wuxian with a surprised shout, Jiang YanLi with a startled laugh. They land in a mess of edges, all elbows and knees, until they situate themselves properly. Wei Wuxian is in the middle of course, his head is lying on Jiang Cheng’s left arm which is probably going to go numb in a couple of minutes, and Jiang Yanli is lying on her stomach, head propped up by one hand as the other goes back to playing with Wei Wuxain’s hair. Jiang Cheng lying on his left side and he gets to watch the play of expressions flit across Wei Wuxian’s face. Shock transforms into confusion, confusion bleeds into trepidation, and then finally, another shaky grin.
Wei Wuxian speaks first, “Did you just tackle us? Jiang Cheng you don’t have to be so violent all the time! What if you hurt Shijie?” He never looks at Jiang Cheng, keeping his eyes locked on the ceiling above him.
“Wei Wuxian,” He starts, not quite knowing how to finish. It really doesn’t help that Wei Wuxian his looking anywhere but him, eyes flitting from the ceiling to Jiang Yanli and back in rapid succession. Jiang Cheng lets out a frustrated huff, “Wei Ying, look at me.”
Finally, he turns his head, his hair brushing against Jiang Cheng’s arm, and meets Jiang Cheng’s gaze. Wei Wuxian looks muted, careful, afraid that he might get yelled at again. Jiang Cheng hates it.
“You didn’t mess up,” He says before he realizes he’s given away his eavesdropping. God damn it, it’s been two seconds and he’s already fucked it up. Jiang Yanli must see it on his face because she’s laughing again, softly and not in a mocking way, just enough to let him and Wei Wuxian know that they’re both being idiots. It makes Jiang Cheng smile.
He starts over. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I didn’t mean what I said.” He pauses, “Well most of it. You’re still annoying, there’s no fixing that.” Jiang Yanli starts to laugh harder, leaning down to bury her face in Wei Wuxain’s hair.
Finally Wei Wuxian smiles, it’s small and slow to form, but it’s there, and it’s real. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath. “I want you to stay here. It would suck here without you, it wouldn’t feel complete. I’m just… I mean…” He blows out the breath he’s been holding, making Wei Wuxian’s bangs flutter back. “I’m jealous of you sometimes. You know that, I think everyone knows that. It’s not your fault at all, I just… you know, it gets pent up or something.” Jiang Cheng makes a face at his own poor choice of words.
“You’re really bad at this whole apology thing, you know that right?” Wei Wuxian replies, and there it is, the light is back in his eyes, the soft edge has returned to his smile.
Jiang Cheng feels his core snap loose, his whole body relaxing. “I do know.” He replies without any heat. “But you get what I mean anyway.”
Wei Wuxian is beaming now, smiling so wide it reaches his eyes. “Yeah, I get it.” Then without warning, Jiang Cheng is being crushed as Wei Wuxian wraps his arms around Jiang Cheng’s middle and pulls him in with a vice grip. He’s nuzzling his face into Jiang Cheng’s shoulder and gripping him so tightly he can feel the air get squeezed out of his lungs.
“Wei… Wuxian, let go of me you idiot!” He wheezes, smacking Wei Wuxian’s back and trying to wriggle out of the hold.
He can feel Wei Wuxain’s head moving back and forth against his shoulder. “No. This is your punishment for making me cry. Shijie help me out!”
“On it!” Jiang Yanli replies. Carefully, she stands up, mindful to not step on Wei Wuxian’s hair, before she flops back down on top of them both effectively pinning them to the ground.
Wei Wuxian starts to laugh into his shoulder, a full on belly laugh that shakes the whole pile. His hands are now tangled into the back of Jiang Cheng’s shirt and the top of his hair is tickling the underside of Jiang Cheng’s chin as he continues to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Jiang Yanli joins him, it’s a sweet fond laugh rather than anything with mirth, one that maybe only Jiang Cheng is able to hear. And Jiang Cheng can’t really help it. He presses his face to the crown of Wei Wuxian’s head and laughs along with them, laughs until he’s close to tears and Wei Wuxian has to let him go so they can both properly breathe.
Jiang Yanli shifts back so her weight is no longer overbearing, just a comfortable pressure resting across both of them, her soft lilting hum floating through the air. The two of them eventually catch their breath, now just sharing space together as a family. Eventually Wei Wuxian turns to Jiang Cheng, his face still stained red from laughter and his eyes bright with mischief. “Be careful what you wish for Jiang Cheng, at this rate you’ll never be able to get rid of me.”
“I think I’ve made a mistake,” Jiang Cheng says immediately, “Why would I ever want to have an asshole like you for a brother.”
Wei Wuxian’s smiles widely with put upon innocence as he says, “Because you love me!” He turns back to the ceiling and closes his eyes, his grin turning serene. Jiang Cheng thinks he might be done when Wei Wuxian lightly punches him in the arm. Before he can retort, Wei Wuxian continues, “And I love you too.”
Jiang Cheng stares for a bit at this side of Wei Wuxian’s relaxed face. He lets himself relax a bit further, then he returns the punch a bit harder because that’s what brothers are for.