Chapter Text
Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school’s handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy’s elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful.
“Why is everything pink?” you muttered to yourself as you mounted the steps to the administration building. “It was pink in the brochure, but I didn’t think it’d be this pink.” You could feel many eyes watching your every move. “Uh hi!”
A few of them seemed to scoff. You caught words like “commoner” and “filthy”, but most of them stood transfixed. Did people like this really exist? Could people really be this sheltered?
The main building was as impressive as the campus grounds. It could have passed for a cathedral with windows two stories high, letting in enough light without making the halls unbearably hot. The chandeliers appeared covered in 24 karat gold leaf, and, given the surroundings, you were sure they were.
“Ah, you must be Mr [L/n].” A man in a pressed cream suit with a pink tie approached you with a bright smile. “My name is Yuzuru Suoh. I’m the Chairman of the Ouran Academy Board.”
“Yes, sir!” You said with a quick but deep bow. “It’s an honor to make your acquaintance.”
The chairman seemed impressed. “Your Japanese is remarkable. You must have studied very hard. We pride ourselves on work ethic here, and I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”
“Thank you, sir.” You hadn’t studied Japanese for the past year at university level intensity for nothing.
“Please allow me a bit of pleasure,” he said, transferring flawlessly to English. “It’s rare I get to practice conversational English.”
“Of course,” you smiled, instantly at ease with this charismatic man.
“I trust you had a comfortable flight?”
“Yes sir,” you said, remembering how wonderful flying in the school’s private jumbo jet was, though you did find it a little excessive. You were the only student passenger and the rest were maids catering to your every need. The simple act of asking for water was an ordeal with several types of still and sparkling water of different flavors served in gold-rimmed champagne flutes.
“You will find we take care of our students, especially guest students like you. You’ll have to tell your principal to raise your school’s standards!” Mr. Suoh laughed at his little joke. You laughed, but only out of respect. Your principal was close friends with Mr. Suoh, and the two decided on a special program to welcome an exchange student from your country.
Mr. Suoh led you into a salon that appeared to be an office where another man, the Ouran Headmaster was waiting.
“Hello Mr. [L/n], it’s an honor to meet you.”
“Please, the honor is mine,” you replied.
“I apologize it took so long for you to get here, but you understand how bureaucracy can be.” A good part of the school year had already gone by, and you were entering in November. This was due partially to the difference in school years from your home country and Japan, but also due to the sheer mountain of paperwork. Since the Japanese school year ends in March, you would be returning for the rest of the semester after the holidays, requiring a bit of an extended visa.
“Ah yes,” the Headmaster smiled. “It’s good to see that you will be joining us. This trial program I’m sure will go well.”
“My friend always had an eye for talent,” Mr. Suoh smiled. You didn’t want to tell him it was sheer luck to win the school lottery and pass the entrance exam. After all, when word got out about Ouran Academy, everyone wanted to join. “Please tell me, where are you from again?”
“[Hometown] in [Home Country].”
“Really? I haven’t been to [Home Country] in many years. I hope you bring a fresh foreign perspective to our work here.” The chairman set down his teacup. “Now, I’m sure you must be a little intimidated by the students. Please excuse them, many have lived sheltered lives. Now unless I’m mistaken, you will be in Class 1-A.”
The headmaster consulted a clipboard. “That’s correct, Chairman Suoh.”
“I’m sure some students from 1-A will be by soon to give you a brief tour of Ouran.” No sooner had Mr. Suoh finished, a knock came at the door. “Please enjoy yourself, Mr. [L/n]. Ouran is always ready to welcome greatness, and I’m sure you will not disappoint. We will see you soon.”
“Thank you, sir,” you said, bowing again. As you pushed open the doors, you had the sinking feeling that coming here might have been a huge mistake.
Outside, two twins with fiery red hair wrapped their arms around a rather feminine looking brunette boy. “How do you do?” you said with a bow. “My name is [Y/n] [L/n], it’s an honor to meet you. Please take care of me.”
The twins looked at each other then burst into laughter. The brunette waved them off and bowed. “The pleasure is ours, but you don’t have to be so polite. My name’s Haruhi Fujioka. These clowns are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.”
“So, you’re another commoner, right?” Hikaru – or was it Kaoru? – said. “You’re just like Haruhi then!”
“Pay no attention to them,” Haruhi replied, leading the way. “Welcome to Ouran.”
The tour went quickly, but each stop was more impressive than the last. Why a school would need multiple five-star cafeterias was beyond you, but considering the delectable aromas coming from them, you wouldn’t complain! That wasn’t even counting the several athletic facilities, the gigantic rose hedge maze, the numerous fountains, the health clinic, the Big Ben replica that actually served as the bell system; it was all so much it sent your head spinning! You found yourself walking with light steps, fearful that if you scuffed the floor you would have to pay some kind of fine for repairs.
Your new companions seemed pretty friendly. The twins appeared to be close to Haruhi and not exactly trusting of you. Haruhi on the other hand, while a little dry at times, was actually very kind and helpful.
“And this is Music Room 3,” Haruhi said, trying to pull you away.
“What’s in there?” You asked. The twins had a rather conniving look while Haruhi winced.
Before anyone could respond, the doors swung open with a gentle breeze carrying little flurries of rose petals towards you. A gentle fragrance blew your way, putting you at ease, though Haruhi acted as if it were a siren’s song. Not a siren’s song as in he was attracted to it, but rather he was trying to save you from certain grisly doom.
“Welcome,” came several voices.
As the petals cleared, you saw several beautiful men all in magazine-cover poses before you. You felt blood rush to your cheeks, never seeing so many handsome men all in one place before. Suddenly, staying at this school didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
“Oh, a boy?” the tall blond one commented, almost with a sigh like a graceful prince. “That’s rather unexpected.”
With that, the fantasy tumbled down. You remembered that despite its usually progressive views, Japan wasn’t the most accepting of homosexuality yet – strange, considering the popularity of various entertainment genres like shonen-ai, shojo-ai, yaoi, yuri, bara/gei-komi, gachimuchi, and so on. Then again, yaoi wasn’t exactly the best representation of the homosexual community, but, hey, you took what you could get.
A little blond boy clutching a pink bunny cocked his head. “Well, he certainly seems like a guy, but Ha-” He was cut off by a tall muscular guy with short black hair.
“Regardless,” the fourth and final member, muttered over the top of his notebook, “business is business. I’m afraid you’ll need an appointment. We are booked solid for today’s activities.”
You turned to Haruhi. “Activities?”
Haruhi rubbed his temples. “This is the Host Club where we entertain guests through romantic roleplay and other activities.” He raised a hand to cut off the obvious question that popped into your mind, which was more than enough to mean “No.” He then turned to the others. “[Y/n] is not a customer. I was just showing him around.”
“And, of course, you couldn’t help but introduce him to Daddy!” The blonde princely guy cheered, embracing Haruhi. Were their views on gays were more relaxed than you thought? Then again, prince-boy seemed more “twink” than “daddy” to you.
“[Y/n] [L/n],” Book guy cut in, making a check in his notes. “You’re the new exchange student. Since our fearless leader is distracted, allow me to welcome you to the Ouran High School Host Club. My name is Kyoya Otori.”
“I’m Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but you can call me Honey! This is Mori!”
Mori looked at you and gave you an approving nod.
“And I am Tamaki Suoh.” The tall blond seemed to almost glow as he moved, though it came off as a tad narcissistic.
“Actually,” Tamaki mused, studying you. “With a little polish, you could be quite attractive.” You weren’t sure whether to thank him or punch him, so you stood still as he ran a finger down the center of your face, as if drawing a line. “Yes… your proportions are almost Vitruvian! And you have very nice features, a sort of classical handsomeness if you will. The perfect addition to our host line-up!” He stopped. “But alas, we don’t have room for you. You’re the wrong type.”
“I’m sorry?” You said, completely unsure of how to respond to that. Was everyone here insane?
“As you can see we have several types to offer. Mori-senpai is the strong silent type, while Honey-senpai is the boy Lolita. The twins are the mischievous type. There’s also the cool type like Kyoya or the princely type like me. And of course, you can’t forget our Haruhi, the natural type.” Tamaki sighed. “I’m afraid that as it stands now, we’re balanced, and we don’t have one for you. We’re just out of types.”
“Out of types?!” A voice shrieked out of nowhere. The floor trembled as you heard a powerful motor start-up, lifting a platform – and a young lady. What kind of music room was this?!
“Renge Hoshikuji,” Kaoru – you think – whispered in your ear. “She’s in Class 1-A too. She’s an otaku.”
That… sort of explained more than you expected.
“Tamaki, I’m really disappointed in you,” Renge scolded. “There are far more types than what the Host Club has!”
“What did you have in mind, Renge?”
“Oh Tamaki, don’t you know? Ladies love variety, and nothing provides a better variety than a hot exotic foreigner!” She pointed dramatically to you. “The accent! The slang! The looks!” You were quickly learning what a slab of meat at a deli must feel like.
“But aren’t I a foreigner?” Tamaki asked.
“You’ve been around too long,” Hikaru (maybe?) added.
Kaoru (probably) snickered. “Yeah boss, you’ve lost your exotic side.”
Tamaki sent death glares to the twins while Kyoya stepped up. “To be fair, [Y/n] represents a nationality that typically isn’t common at Ouran. It could do well for sales. Would you be interested [Y/n]?”
Honestly, you wanted to tell him exactly what you thought of being swept into what was apparently not a brothel and where he could shove his precious sales. Yet, one look around the room at the attractive men and your higher brain functions hit a critical failure. Lizard brain kicked in and you slurred, “Sure.”
Kyoya made a quick notation in his book. “Then it’s settled, you’ll be the Foreigner Type.”
Tamaki wore the smuggest smile you’d ever seen and settled into his chair, crossing his legs. “Well men,” he said with a snap of his fingers, “let’s get to work.”
In a flurry of makeup and hair products, you found yourself facing a mirror looking like you walked off a Parisian photo shoot. You’d never seen yourself look so attractive before. You couldn’t tell exactly what they did, but your eyes were striking, your hair stunning, and your smile could steal a heart at fifty paces.
Haruhi tapped you on the shoulder. “You’re looking great, [Y/n].”
“Thanks, Haruhi,” you blushed. “I… it’s just a bit overwhelming.”
“It was for me too. It’s a lot easier than you think, just smile and have fun with it.”
“Right,” you said, walking back into the main room. It felt like you were walking in a bubble with everything as white noise around you. Was this even real life? You just got here, and now you were some kind of escort! Before you could protest further, several students – who Tamaki insisted were to be called Princesses – were sat across from you.
“Hello [Y/n]!” one of them greeted. “You’re our new foreign student, right?”
“Are you from a rich foreign family?”
“Do you travel often?”
You took a deep breath. Just smile and have fun with it… “A pleasure to meet you ladies,” you said, leaning in with hooded eyes. “This is my first time to Japan, but I have to say meeting you has already made it the most memorable trip I’ve ever taken.”
“Ahhh!” The three squealed. “His accent is sooo sexy!”
Your first day had been successful. You sat with several different groups and told them about how life was back home, how much you enjoyed being in Japan, and what you did for fun. They also loved all of the questions you asked them. You knew they were mostly interested in your accent, which seemed a bit shallow, but you were here to entertain them. It wasn’t like you were dating them, even if it outwardly appeared so. Besides, they were all sweet and kind. If anything, you were all hanging out as friends who happened to flirt with each other. As you cleaned yourself up you saw one of the two twins waiting. “You did pretty well today,” he smiled.
“Uh, thanks… Kaoru?”
He laughed. “Lucky guess. I didn’t think Tamaki would try to draft you, but everyone seems happy to have you. Welcome to the family.”
You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by family, but you smiled all the same. “Thanks.”
Takashi, do you think [Y/n]-chan is fitting in well?
Seems so.
I hope so, but something seems different about him. It’s like he’s not that interested in the customers like Tama-chan, but he doesn’t seem like Kyo-chan either.
Hmm.
He likes doing the work and all the customers love him, but he acts like he’s on edge. Maybe he’s getting sick?
No.
I don’t understand Takashi. Did we do something wrong?
You’ll see Mitsukuni.
Next time: The Host is a Homosexual! The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you…
We’ll see you then!