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Shinobu always knew. He knew in elementary when he and his friends would watch Samurai Sentai after school, and they’d all gawk at Shinken Pink. “Mako-tan is so cute!” they’d chant, but Shinobu never got it. He thought Shinken green was the cool one.
Shinobu always knew. When they were learning how to dance in middle school, all the boys would be grossed out with each other when they had to be paired up. Shinobu didn’t mind though. He liked being able to get his classmates out of their shell. The girls were too focused on impressing each other to try anything new.
Shinobu always knew, so he never thought it was important to talk or mention anything about it. “Coming out.” wasn’t necessarily anything important. He wasn’t ashamed of being gay, because it was never seen as a bad thing. Not a good thing either really. Just… something that wasn’t talked about.
Until high school came, that is.
Shinobu joined Ryuseitai in his first year as an idol at Yumenosaki Academy. Instantly, they became a close group of friends. He greatly looked up to his senpai, and his classmates were a great support too. He never thought he’d have to tell them, and even if he did, what would they do with that information? Nothing, probably. He trusted them greatly, knowing they wouldn’t tease or hate him over it.
Even when he started to form feelings over the Ryusei Green. He knew, being idols, there was no point in confessing, or outing his sexuality for that matter. It was best to be quiet, for Midori's sake. Besides, Midori still let him hold his hand and drag him around, even hug him at times! It was enough for Shinobu, those little brave moments he took around his crush. Since Midori was okay with it, there was no shame in enjoying it a little more than a friend, right?
However… Something in his mind shifted about that during practice one day.
“Alright team!” Chiaki shouted over his chatty unit mates at the start of practice, already up and at ‘em on a Monday morning. “Wake up your super muscles! We'll be doing some lifting in today's dance! Ahaha!” Chiaki stretched out his arms and legs. That's right, their latest single had some nifty acrobatics involved! Part of that being hoisted onto the other member's shoulders. Definitely an iconic group-hero pose!
“Ah… It's so early. Can't this wait till the end? The end of my life…” Midori sighed, knowing the consequence to his moping. Chiaki grabbed him by the arms to force him to stretch as well.
“Complaining won't get you anywhere, Takamine! Let's get the hard stuff outta the way first!” Chiaki tried to cheer up the green ranger, but he only groaned in response.
“T-that's right, de gozaru! You should have no trouble liftin’ me up anyways, Midori-kun!” Shinobu tried helping, patting his back.
Midori stopped himself from saying something self-deprecating about his height. He knew Shinobu got uncomfortable when he talked like that. Feeling a bit comforted by his classmate, Midori straightened out and started to stretch on his own. After everyone was ready, they got into position for their dance. Feet farther than shoulder width, everyone stood sturdy ready for the big pose.
“Tetora… sorry if my 'hands’ tickle at your 'waist’ .” Kanata spoke, squatting to lift up his underclassman.
“Ossu! That's okay! As long as you're not a weirdo like some students here, you're okay, senpai!” Tetora replied.
“... Hm~? 'Some students ’?”
“... Huh?” Shinobu's focus shifted from the dance to what Tetora was saying. What did he mean by that? Or… who ? “W-wah!!!”
Midori caught Shinobu before he could hit the ground too hard. “W-whoa, careful… No dyin’ before I do. Try to keep your balance…”
“R-right, de gozaru…!” Shinobu shook off the thought, quickly focusing back on practice. The team took the dance from the beginning again, the rest of practice went smoothly.
After a few hours, once they felt like they made practice, everyone said their “good job”s and went onto regular classes. On the way, Shinobu remembered what Tetora said early in practice. His heart felt heavy over it, despite not exactly knowing what he meant. Shinobu knew it was best to ask Tetora rather than dread on it. He knew he was just misunderstanding something!
“Oi, Tetora-kun! What did ya mean in practice earlier, de gozaru? Shinkai-dono is a known weirdo, right?” He laughed, rethinking his wording after. Kanata would probably “karate chop” him over that…
“Haaaah? No way! Not like that! I was talkin’ about guys like Narukami-senpai! Guys with weeeird intentions, ya know? Uugh, makes me sick thinkin’ about it…” Tetora, with no thought on what he was saying, casually swung his arms above his head, behind his back.
Ah, so Shinobu didn't get the wrong idea… that's really what he meant? But… “I thought Naru-senpai was a girl?”
“Ha! He sure acts like it… Someone should show him how ta be more manly! Maybe Taishou, ossu!!” Shinobu could tell his eyes flamed up, even though he kept looking straight.
“... Yeah, maybe.” Shinobu looked down at his feet, instead of wide eyed at his classmate. He couldn't believe what he was hearing from his unit mate, from his close friend! Maybe he should take it up with Chiaki? But if he were to do that… Would Chiaki think he was weird too? Shinobu's chest tightened at the thought of that. Chiaki was kind, accepting to everyone! But… this topic has never come up in Shinobu's life before… he wasn't sure how to handle this. And Midori… has he been thinking he's weird this entire time? If Midori were to find out, he might feel uncomfortable with Shinobu being around.
And if…. Then that… so then….
The day was flooded with irrational fears. They came home with Shinobu, and even to the next day.
They had dance practice Tuesday morning. Chiaki's voice boomed again to motivate everyone, but it didn't help Shinobu's case. Instead of being excited to perfect their dance, Shinobu wanted to avoid his team more than ever. Having to hold Tetora's hand, being lifted up by Midori… he felt guilty for it.
Am… I weird for enjoying this? I have so much fun looking cool as idols with my friends. But… is that sick? Because I like guys?
“Shinobu-kun!” Midori toppled, his knees giving out from Shinobu's teetering weight on his shoulders. “G-gaaah… my ankle…”
“Whoa! Green, yellow! Are you two alright?” Chiaki paused the music, rushing over to his younger unit mates. “That was quite the fall!”
Shinobu felt fine, Midori broke his fall after all. He was going to apologize, but he realized how this looked. He had a bit of joy in him, hovering over his crush… But he knew Midori was only uncomfortable.
“Um, I-I'm okay! I'm… gonna go take a break, de gozaru!” Pushing his leader aside, Shinobu ran off out of the practice room.
“Yellow! Wait!” Chiaki called for him, too late to chase him down. Kanata held him back from doing so anyway.
“Chiaki… let him take a 'break’. Shinobu has seemed 'troubled’ these days…”
“Jeez, what's his problem?” Tetora checked out into the hall, the yellow ranger was out of sight now. “I hope he ain't cryin’ somewhere alone…”
“Wouldn't be the first of us to do that…” Sighed Midori, getting up to stretch out this ankle.
“... Let's not dwell on it anymore team! As the leader, I'll find him if he's not back by the end of practice. Let's all take 5 for now!” Chiaki put on a smile for his unit, and they continued practice without their Ryusei Yellow. It wasn't as successful as the previous day… only worrying Chiaki more. He had to make sure Shinobu was doing okay!
After practice, Chiaki went on a hunt for Shinobu. It would be hard, to find a ninja. But with his sense for justice, Chiaki had confidence it wouldn't be any trouble!
“Sen-go-ku! If you dilly-dally too long, you'll miss class!” Chiaki howled outside. It wasn't unheard of for Shinobu to hide in trees, after all. “And get a cold, in this weather!”
“Ni!”
“Huh!? Is that the wail of my Ryusei Yellow?! Show yourself, Yellow!”
“...”
“Ah, um… Sengoku, please. You can't avoid stuff like this!” Chiaki called to the open air, looking up to where he heard the noise. Rustles from the trees filled the silence, appearing from them was a small, dreary ninja. “Sengoku… What happened today? Are you getting enough sleep?”
Shinobu froze, Chiaki's hand rested on his shoulder, but it did not help relax him at all. Before, he felt like he could tell Chiaki anything. He was like a second father to him, after all. He came down because he thought it'd be easy to tell his leader everything was fine, but his look of genuine concern stopped him. There was no way he could lie or keep secrets from Chiaki… not with that face of his.
Ah… but… any other guy would be able to. They wouldn't care how big his puppy dog eyes were. Any manly guy would be able to blow him off.
“... Gah! Leave me alone! It's none of your business, so don't worry about it! Got it!? Ninininini! ” Shinobu hashly pushed his leader's hand off of him, sprinting back into the school building.
The rest of the day, Shinobu couldn't focus on anything in class again. He knew he couldn't keep this up. Just as Chiaki said, this wasn't something he could avoid… As much as he wanted to. He wanted to yell at Tetora for saying what he did, to somehow prove him wrong. At the same time, he just wanted to sulk about it and let this wave wash over. He thought about confronting Tetora about it, but what good came from that last time? And doing so would definitely bring suspicion onto Shinobu. Once again, Shinobu found himself unsure what to do.
After school, Shinobu practiced in his one man ninja club. This involved practicing stealth in the trees around school grounds, and gathering the latest info. Though unmotivated to do so today, a ninja's training is never finished.
He noticed two students leaving earlier than regular club time, almost in a rush to get somewhere.
“Like I said, I don't like when ya use -chan for me!” The shorter of the pair complained.
“Hm~? Oh, that's right. Kinda like how I don't like being called manly?” Teased the other.
“Gaah! Right… right, sorry 'bout that…”
… Was that… Tetora-kun and Naru-senpai?
Ryuseitai's practice was at the end of the day on Wednesday. Shinobu was indifferent about anything going on that day. He was a bit scared to go to even go to practice, but he knew he had to! His unit mates had been sending him concerned texts with supportive words. He knew this was the right thing to do, even if it would hurt him. He wanted his unit to know, for both his and their sake. At the end of practice, he called for everyone's attention.
“Um… I-I think everyone has a right to know this, de gozaru! So… p-please listen…”
Without much noise, everyone turned to Shinobu. With all eyes on him, he felt all the bottled up fear build up in his throat.
“... Um, I… I'm gay. I'm gay, and if anyone has a problem with that, then I'm fine with taking my leave!”
“Sengoku…” A voice chimed.
“... That's ‘fine’, Shinobu. Do not leave, I am ‘gay’ as well. So do not ‘tear up’.” Kanata spoke, approaching the boy and embracing him into a hug.
“H-huh?”
“You're surprised? Fufu~, is it because I don't 'look weird’ ? You don't either, Shinobu. 'There there.’~ ” Kanata pat his head, holding him close to his heart. Shinobu heard its steady beat, Shinkai-dono wasn't mad at all! In fact, he was quite the opposite. Shinobu felt another hand on his back, giving him a hard pat.
“That's right! Thank you for telling us, Sengoku! I'm glad that you can now feel comfortable around us.” Chiaki grinned brightly and contagiously.
“Morisawa-dono… I'm sorry about yesterday! It was silly of me to be so frustrated over this…” Shinobu turned, now to hug his leader.
“Aw, don't sweat it!! When I came out to my parents, I was the same way! Aha, those bad thoughts even get to the best of us, so no need to apologize!” He gave Shinobu a few more slaps on the back, getting a laugh from him in response.
Midori joined the hug fest, followed by Tetora quickly after. “You're totally fine, Shinobu-kun. It makes me happy that you told us…”
“I should be the one apologizing.. I said some pretty mean junk to ya before, but Narukami-senpai showed me that stuff like that isn't gross at all!” Tetora budged his way through to Shinobu, giving him a tight hug.
“A-ah? Is that why you two were hanging out yesterday, de gozaru?”
“Gah, you saw us? Yeah, she made me dress up and shit. But I think I learned a lot 'bout her and myself! I can totally see how what I said before could hurt… Shinobu-kun, please forgive me~!”
“O-of course, de gozaru! You're crushing me though~!” Shinobu laughed, squirming out of Tetora's grip.
“Ha… what a relief… Now, what's everyone doin’ afta this? Let's go to that new Chinese place!!”
The whole gang agreed, and Shinobu couldn't help but to feel so much more relieved, and closer to his unit more than ever.