Work Text:
>Equius: Arrive at LOLCAT
You cannot arrive at LOLCAT because you have already been there for several minutes, scouting the area around Nepeta's hive. Despite your moirail's request that you reach the cave as soon as trolly possible, she has been nowhere to be seen. Whilst you were worried for her, a quick scout of the area showed the black, inky remains of imps but no other signs of stuggle, which could only mean one thing.
She is hunting you.
This is an odd occurrence which only ever happened if Nepeta wished for you to do something, but was not certain that you would agree. (As if you could refuse your moirail anything so asinine as what she would ask of you.) By stalking you and catching you off guard, she fulfilled some sort of promise to herself and demanded her relatively simple wishes be met.
>Equius: Be pale as snow for your huntress.
You cannot complete this command either as it, too, has already been fulfilled, if not surpassed. There are sugar cubes around your feet that were darker than your feelings for your moirail. Snow is no match for your STRONG feelings of moirallegiance, not even the freshly fallen type of flakes yet to be ruined underfoot. Lusus' strove to match the colour of your feelings, paler than white as it is.
>Nepeta: Quick, Equius is distracted by inner monologuing! Pounce!
You not only pounce, you pouncegr33t! Despite not needing your prey to be distracted as you are a legendary huntress, known across the universe, with something you do not want to kill or maim it is admittedly quite helpful. The troll in question topples like a felled tree underneath you, a glance at his face being both a key factor in knowing that you had indeed caught him off guard and he was not simply humouring you, and being exceedingly comical. Dozens of sugar cubes are ground to dust underneath him. It is a tragic affair.
"Nepeta." He greets, in that faux-annoyed tone he takes when he knows that he should not encourage your 'childish actions' but cannot quite bring himself to actually be upset by them. Your only response to it is a grin when he finally turns over to look at you.
"We've got a game to purrlay!"
======>
You sit. And stare. And seeth. You hate that autistic bitch. She does not deserve him. The cool one with the shades. But not the 'cool guy'. Or his 'bro'. With extra enclosure talons because. Fuck her. (You hate her even more than your sister. Because she makes you think. Things. And it makes you feel. Grody.)
You decide this bitch needs some place-putting. Oh yes. You are going to put her. In her place.
undyingUmbrage [uu]
began jeering
arsenicCatnip [aC]
uu: YOu.
uu: STOP HOGGING ALL OF HIS ATTENTION. FAT BITCH.
uu: HAA. HAA. NO.
aC: :33 < *the huntress watches the limeblood(?) warily from afar and asks in a cautious voice* Do I know mew?
uu: YOu ARE A FAT CAT. A LITERAL FAT CAT.
uu: NO. BECAuSE. YOu AREN'T IMPORTANT ENOuGH TO KNOW ME.
aC: :33 < *she rears up from the insult, both mouths open wide in an impressive roar*
aC: :33 < *stalking closer, she demands* Who do you even think mew are?!
uu: I AM THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO TAKE 'YOuR MAN'. FROM YOu.
uu: ENCLOSuRE TALONS AROuND 'YOuR MAN'. SINCE HE IS NOT. IN FACT. YOuR MAN.
uu: ALSO STOP. WITH THE STuPID STARS. AROuND YOuR WORDS. WHICH ARE ALSO ACTIONS.
uu: FOR SOME DELuDED REASON.
aC: :?? < wait
aC: :?? < Are mew being serious?
aC: >:KK < Are mew talking about Equihiss??
uu: THE BADASS IN THE SHADES. YES.
uu: AND THERE IS NOTHING YOu CAN DO.
uu: SOON. ALL OF HIS ATTENTION. WILL BE ON ME.
aC: >:KK < Are mew threatening to steal my meowrail away furrom me???
uu: IT IS NOT A THREAT. IT IS A PROMISE.
uu: YOu WILL uNDERSTAND THIS SOON.
aC: >:KK < ugh! Who are mew?!
aC: >:KK < If I efur m33t mew face to face I will claw your eyes out!!
aC: >:KK < And not even in the good way!
uu: OH NO. IT WILL DEFINITELY BE. IN THE GOOD WAY.
uu: THIS IS ANOTHER THING. THAT YOu WILL SEE.
aC: XOO < You cr33p!
aC: :?? < Have mew just concocted hiss as an excuse to hit on me?
aC: >:KK < Mew totally have!
uu: WAIT
aC: >:KK < Stay away from my meowrail!!
arsenicCatnip [aC]
blocked
undyingUmbrage [uu]
uu: WAIT.
uu: WHAT JuST HAPPENED.