Archive of Our Own

The top of the Astronomy Tower wasn’t a place students frequented without need.

It was musty and winding, the stairs steep, tall, and uneven. There were easier places to go to if you wanted privacy, places that didn’t require sore legs and unsettling heights, but it was just that inaccessibility that Taehyung craved at the moment, away from the bustle of the castle and the busy eyes of other students.

 It made his stomach drop a little to peer down over the edge of the balcony, to see how tiny the sprawling grounds from his vantage point, but it was also breathtaking. The greenhouses were just specks and he could cover the Quidditch pitch with a raised thumb and he felt suddenly very large overlooking it all. But then, god, when he looked up he was nothing more than a speck. The sky was unobstructed from this height, thickly pin-pricked with stars and unimaginably vast.

 Taehyung leaned back with a sigh, probably dirtying the back of his cloak on the dusty balcony floor, eyes wide with the night sky.

 The top of the Astronomy Tower was definitely not a place people would think Kim Taehyung frequented. He was known for being cheerful and sociable, for taking homework for students who missed class no matter if they were close or not, for taking initiative at handling the stranger animals in Care of Magical Creatures, and for good-naturedly ending up in detention for experimenting a little freely with homemade potions. For being a little quirky and a little too different to fit in just right, but never letting others opinions get to him.

He was not known for taking to the quieter places in the castle and mulling over too many thoughts as he stared up at the endless sky. He was not known for wrapping the ends of his cloak tightly around himself in a pathetic attempt at self-comfort and warmth, the cool air of the approaching winter heavy around him.

And maybe that was the way he usually liked it, liked the way he was able to choose the way others saw him as this wholly bright and happy being, how others thought they knew him so well because who would look to further understand someone who presented themselves as an open book?

But it was also so lonely sometimes, especially on nights like tonight when the jibing comments of his peers felt a little too real, cut a little too deep. The teasing a tad too aggressive, too personal.

He suddenly wished for Jimin, the other boy’s absence feeling suddenly and overwhelmingly unfair. His brother was getting married and he’d be away till after Christmas, the affair taking an unreasonably long time.

Jimin would know what to say, when the thoughts in his head felt like too much, when he felt like too much.

No one would guess that Taehyung was a silent crier. If you asked the random student whose only interaction with him was in class or hanging out on the grounds, they’d probably presume that he cried loudly, perhaps even dramatically. Maybe they’d think he took great, shuddering breaths and wrung his hands, or hiccoughed loudly.

Taehyung let a few tears make quiet tracks down his cheeks before wiping them away and picking himself up off the floor.

It was late, well past curfew, and his trip back to the Ravenclaw dorms was hurried and cautious. He drew the curtains around his bed as soon as he entered it, hoping he hadn’t woken anyone up.

-

It was hard to maintain his singularity the next day, his sleepless night making him snappish and angry, emotions too close to the surface. He played it off as best he could as mere tiredness, laying his head down during breakfast and sticking his face close to his book during classes, making a show of rubbing his eyes and yawning.

He had nearly made it through the day when it finally went to pieces, during double potions with Hufflepuff.

Taehyung didn’t dislike Potions. He wasn’t bad at it either. It was just that following precise instructions wasn’t really his thing. It’s not that he didn’t know it was one clockwise turn and two counter-clockwise, more of the curiosity of what would happen if he stirred straight down the middle.

It was an exploded cauldron, an impromptu recess while Professor Slughorn cleaned the room of over-nettled boil remover, and a request to stay back after class that made it harder than ever for Taehyung to keep the tears from his eyes and the rawness from his voice.

“I’m puzzled,” Slughorn said, sitting nearly at his desk with his hands folder over his protruding stomach. “Your written components are always flawless - albeit a little...whimsical - and I’m sure if I’d ask you to recite a potion from memory, you could do it.” Another sigh. “But these practical lessons seem to always end in disaster.”

Taehyung shuffled from foot to foot, unsure of what to say.

“I’m not going to give you detention, Mr. Kim,” Slughorn said suddenly, straightening.

“You won’t?”

“These...experiments don’t seem malicious and your previous detentions haven’t seemed to do much. But I think it’s a good idea to practice outside of class.”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up.

“Supervised, of course,” Slughorn added hastily. “I’ll arrange for mandatory tutoring sessions with an upperclassman. We’ll start with twice a week at least until our next practical exam.” He scribbled something on the paper in front of him. “Maybe one-on-one sessions will help curve your tendency to...draw attention.”

All relief at having avoided detention was flooded with a rush of embarrassment, cheeks burning red in shame.

Slughorn continued to talk, something about a similar situation with a student who felt overshadowed by a sister who was the inventor of the top-rated cleaning potion (and had herself been a student of Slughorn’s), but Taehyung could barely hear him.

There was blood rushing in his ear and eyes threatening to spill, so Taehyung just stood frozen until he’d registered that the professor had stopped speaking and bolted with a hasty, “Yes, Professor” and “See you next class, Professor.”

There was no way to contain it once he’d left the classroom, thoughts burning through him. Is that really what Slughorn thought? That this was a ploy to get attention? To act out and show off? Did others think that as well?

Why can’t I just do as I’m told? He thought miserably. Why can’t I just do things normally?

He was walking fast, clutching his books and his head down to hide the wetness on his cheeks. He just needed to get back to his dorm, back to his bed where he could curl up and eat the last of the chocolates Jimin had sent him with his last letter and then -

Crash.

Taehyung went sprawling, books tumbling from his hands as he collided with another body, landing hard on his backside.

“Shit, are you alright?”

Taehyung looked up to see who he’d knocked into, an apology already tumbling from his lips.

“I’m so sorry, that was my fault I wasn’t looking and -”

Taehyung stopped mid-sentence, recognizing the other boy’s face.

Of course. It had to be Min Yoongi.

One year above him, Slytherin, something of a genius in charmwork, and known as something of an enigma around the castle.

He was also the love of Taehyung’s young life.

Unsuccessfully trying to get over his crush on the older boy since third year, Taehyung had accepted his feelings were destined to linger for as long as he could catch a glimpse of the boy in the hallways between classes. For as long as could see his tousled head of hair in the Great Hall in the morning, see him absentmindedly chewing at a fingernail when he read, curled up in a corner in the library. See the way he always fed the owl that brought his mail a little bit of sausage before sending her off, long fingers scratching the hard to get to places at the top of her wings.

And the way he paused a little as he spoke, making sure his words were careful and thought out. 

And his unrestrained smile when he found something truly funny….

He wasn’t smiling now.

His face was composed, eyes narrowed a bit with worry and Taehyung remembered that his own was red and tear-stained.

“Are you okay?”

Taehyung jolted forward, bending his head so his hair flopped over his puffy eyes and scrabbled for his books.

“T-totally fine, don’t worry. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I really should be more careful -”

Taehyung’s hand brushed another as he reached for his Charms book and he snatched it back as if electrocuted.

“Taehyung, right?” Yoongi said, handing him his book.

Taehyung nodded, not trusting himself to speak, instead gathering the last book and rising from the floor, not quite meeting Yoongi’s eye.

“Let me walk you back to your dorm.”

“What?” Taehyung asked, startled.

“You’re on your way to your dorm?”

“Yes, but -”

“So I’ll walk you.”

It was said with finality, so Taehyung let Yoongi walk alongside him quietly till they reached the entrance to the dorm.

“So,” Taehyung started, attempting a smile, “this is me.”

Yoongi nodded slowly, giving him a once over and Taehyung wondered how someone could look so exquisite with simple robes and rumpled hair. He wondered if his own eyes were still red from crying.

“I, uh, messed up a potion in class,” Taehyung said, breaking the silence. “I think some got in my eyes.”

Yoongi raised a slender eyebrow.

“Really.”

Taehyung gulped and Yoongi’s face softened.

“You were crying.”

Yoongi was looking at him intently and Taehyung was taken aback by both the directness of the statement and the way Yoongi’s eyes were so focused on him, finding himself unable to lie.

“I guess.”

Taehyung waited for a clichéd “cheer up!” or maybe a sarcastic remark, but Yoongi just leaned forward and brushed some of the hair from Taehyung’s forehead, the younger boy’s heart stuttering in his chest.

“It’s okay to be sad sometimes.”

And then he was gone and Taehyung was left with his heart pounding and thoughts racing.

-

Taehyung woke up from a disorienting sleep the next morning to find that he had come to a conclusion about three things.

He would do his damned best to show Slughorn he was not a spoiled attention pig.

He wanted to both throttle Jimin for being absent and write a ten-page letter lamenting recent events.

And he could never face Min Yoongi again.

All euphoria at having his longtime crush notice him was immediately snuffed out by the circumstances. In all his fantasies about Min Yoongi, he was cool and composed. Flirty and confident. Yoongi was impressed by his ability to handle Blast-Ended Skrewts without getting a single eyelash singed or maybe coincidentally passing by the Potions room just as one of Taehyung’s concoctions actually succeeded.

He was not a blubbering emotional mess with puffy eyes and clumsy feet.

So Taehyung decided it would be best to pine from afar. The universe had been trying to tell him that from the get-go, he thought miserably. He should’ve taken his failed confession in fourth year where he had gathered the nerve to approach him in the spot he knew he often occupied in the library only to stumble upon him kissing Gryffindor prefect, Kim Seokjin. Or maybe he should’ve taken the hint in fifth year after hearing that Yoongi was single again and persuaded Jimin to leave a bouquet of charmed rosebuds on Yoongi’s bed.

That one almost succeeded if his charmwork hadn’t unraveled last minute, the roses exploding instead of romantically blooming.

Taehyung couldn’t quite bring himself to reveal himself as the sender after Yoongi had to spend the night sleeping on a common room sofa till the house elves came the next morning to replace his bed.

So that was that.

The day passed thankfully fast, almost a little too smoothly after yesterday’s mess, so Taehyung was barely surprised when he saw his house’s head boy heading towards him at dinner, holding a slip of paper.

“Hey, Namjoon,” Taehyung greeted. “What have you got for me today?”

“Summons from Slughorn,” Namjoon answered, handing over the paper. “He didn’t seem upset or anything, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung accepted the paper with a sigh. “I know what it’s about.”

Namjoon ruffled his hair with a sympathetic grimace. “Just make up some cousin that’s about to become some minister in Romania or something,” he suggested. “Slughorn’s sure to back down.”

Taehyung managed a small smile. “Thanks, Joon.”

It was written in Slughorn’s curly script, telling him to be at the smaller Potions room after dinner for his first session and Taehyung folded the paper into a tiny square before flicking it moodily across the table. Maybe it won’t be so bad, he let himself hope. He wasn’t sure who would be tutoring him, but it was bound to be someone from Slughorn’s house. Maybe it would be one of Jimin’s friends.

He didn’t have much of an appetite anymore so he pushed himself from the table, heading down to the dungeons. Slughorn was already there when he arrived at the classroom, puttering about with some ingredients in the oversized cabinet, and Taehyung knocked awkwardly on the open door to make himself known.

“Err, Professor?”

Slughorn turned around, smiling widely. “Ah, you’re early. I’m happy to see you’re taking this seriously. My student should be here any moment and I’ll introduce you two. Make yourself comfortable.”

Taehyung nodded, and had barely seated himself at a desk when he heard someone else enter the classroom. He turned to see who it was, breath catching in his throat.

Min Yoongi.

Fuck. Of fucking course.

Yoongi met his eye, surprise flitting across his face before Slughorn’s voice interrupted.

“Ah, Mr. Min. Right on time, right on time.” Slughorn extricated himself from the cabinet. “Mr. Kim, this is Min Yoongi, one of my brightest students. He’ll help you do all those potions without any funny business.”

Taehyung wished he knew a spell that would make the ground swallow him.

“Mr. Min, this is Kim Taehyung. He’s a quick learner, but he has a tendency to,” Slughorn paused dramatically, “stray from the instructions.  We all know, the text knows best!”

Taehyung could feel Yoongi staring at him and he studied the scratches on the top of the desk intently, ears burning.

“I’m sure we’ll work well together,” Yoongi was saying.

Slughorn then lowered his voice to talk to Yoongi, presumably giving him instructions and further embarrassing Taehyung, before sweeping from the classroom and leaving the two boys alone.

Taehyung forced himself to look up once Slughorn had gone, pulling his mask determinedly on and flashing a bright smile that he hoped was reaching his eyes.

“Sorry that you’re stuck with me,” Taehyung chirped. “I’ll work hard though.”

“Taehyung…”

“Really! We’ll finish quickly and you can go have the rest of the night to yourself. Promise.”

“I don’t have anything else to do tonight,” Yoongi said, seating himself at the desk next to Taehyung and pulling out a Potions textbook. “If we finish early I’ll just be bored.”

“O-oh.”

Yoongi was flipping through the textbook, finally landing on the page for boil-remover, the last potion he had botched.

“Slughorn said to start with this one. Do you remember what gave you trouble with it last time?”

“Didn’t Slughorn tell you?” Taehyung blurted out, unable to keep the sharp edge from his voice.

Yoongi glanced up at him briefly before skimming through the recipe and Taehyung shrunk under his eyes.

“I try not to take anything old Sluggie says too seriously,” Yoongi said casually. “Let’s just gather the ingredients to start, I’ll read them off to you.”

Taehyung blushed and did as he was told. Maybe he could convince Yoongi to let him make an Obliviation Potion instead and they could forget that any of this ever happened.

But the mood settled after a bit, and Yoongi let Taehyung work quietly by himself, watching closely for any errors and pointing out anything he thought could be improved.

Yoongi’s proximity was getting harder to ignore, and Taehyung found himself growing nervous. The older boy looked so delicate up close, his features an amalgamation of hard lines and soft edges. It was the longest he’d been in the other’s presence - and the closest - and he hoped the warmth he felt in his cheeks wasn’t turning him a beady shade of red.

And then he was leaning even closer to watch Taehyung chop up the nettles, close enough that Taehyung thought he could feel a ghost of a breath against the side of his face -

The knife slipped, ruining his even chop and nearly nicking his finger.

“Careful there,” Yoongi murmured, suddenly aware of how close he was standing to Taehyung and taking a step back.

Taehyung wasn’t sure if the breath he released was one of relief or disappointment.

“My hands are just a little clammy,” Taehyung said with a weak chuckle.

“It can happen to anyone.” Yoongi swept the ruined nettle into a bin. “Besides, you should have enough here to work with."

Wiping his hands on his robes, Taehyung nodded. The rest of the potion proceeded smoothly and it was barely an hour before the potion was simmering nicely, the exact shade of yellow described in the book.

He poured a sample into a glass bottle and stoppered it, handing it to Yoongi for inspection.

“It’s perfect.”

Taehyung ducked his head at the praise.

“Thanks. Thank you for helping me.”

“I didn’t do much,” Yoongi snorted. “You don’t seem to need much tutoring.”

“I...I guess so,” Taehyung whispered.

For all his initial panic at having Yoongi tutor him, it was undeniably nice to have an excuse to be so close to him. Was Yoongi going to suggest they not continue?

“I guess it’ll be relaxing to have these sessions,” Yoongi continued, sending Taehyung a smile.

And god, if Taehyung’s heart would beat any faster he’d end up in the Hospital Wing.

-

The next few sessions passed similarly to the first, with murmured comments from Yoongi when necessary, but mostly consisting of Taehyung working quietly, somehow growing comfortable with the Slytherin boy’s calming presence.

It was during their fourth session when Taehyung finally screwed up.

He was supposed to be making a Swelling Solution and he wasn’t sure whether or not he should be offended at being assigned to make something the second years were doing. Offense aside, it was one Taehyung could probably make in his sleep.

So maybe he got a little too comfortable, a little too lost in his musings of what would happen if he added a second bat spleen. Would it completely destabilize the potion or just change the intended effect? Perhaps it would overly-enhance it completely neutralize it -

Boom.

The air snapped as the second spleen went in and the cauldron shuddered for a moment before imploding, the contents splashing over the edge.

“Shit!” Yoongi yelled at the sound, and Taehyung couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked when he was surprised, eyes going wide.

“Ah, sorry,” Taehyung said sheepishly.

“No, no, I should’ve been watching more closely,” Yoongi said gingerly stepping around the spilled potion and retrieving his wand. “You’ve just been doing so well I’ve let myself slack off.”

Yoongi started muttering a few cleaning charms and Taehyung couldn’t help but notice how Yoongi’s fingers were wrapped around his wand, his wrist moving so carefully and precisely.

He was startled from his reverie by Yoongi looking expectantly at him, as if waiting for answer.

“Um, did you say something?”

The edge of Yoongi’s mouth quirked. “I said it was curious that the most basic potion you’re given is the one that went wrong.”

“Oh, yeah. Weird.”

Taehyung looked down, realizing some of the potion had landed on his hand and frowned.

Yoongi’s gaze followed Taehyung’s and his expression immediately grew worried, grabbing at Taehyung’s affected hand.

“I didn’t realize it got you, does it hurt?”

Taehyung startled, voice disappearing because Min Yoongi was holding his fucking hand, and managed to shake his head.

Yoongi let go of his hand and Taehyung took a breath. 

Now that he was looking, the skin that the potion had hit wasn’t swelling at all, just a bit pink from the heat.

“Completely neutralized it then,” Taehyung murmured to himself.

Yoongi looked up sharply. “What was that?”

“N-nothing,” Taehyung said quickly. “Just that...well, that the extra bat spleen made the potion go flat.” He wiped the potion from his hand with a drying cloth, revealing the unaffected skin. “See? Nothing happened.”

“Taehyung, did you...did you add the extra spleen on purpose? To see what would happen?”

 Yoongi’s gaze was sharp and scrutinizing and Taehyung wanted to crawl away. It would be easier to lie than to explain, just say that it was an accident, but there was something in Yoongi’s expression that said he would immediately sense any bullshit. And Taehyung found that he couldn’t bring himself to lie any more than if he had taken a swig of Veritaserum.

“I wasn’t trying to act out or anything, I swear!” Taehyung said, voice a little desperate. “Or - or to get attention, really! It’s just Swelling Solutions are so basic and I’ve made them so many times so I was curious what would happen if I changed it up.”

He was speaking too quickly and a little breathlessly and Yoongi was staring at him with his too perceptive eyes.

“I was just curious,” Taehyung finished, focusing on scuffing his shoe into the side of the desk. “Please don’t be upset.”

The silence felt heavy and Taehyung was ready to see what would happen if he added himself to the potion before Yoongi shrugged, settling back into his seat.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi said, tucking one foot underneath himself. “I mean I think it’s pretty obvious at this point that you don’t actually need Potions help and Slughorn has a permanent Swelling Solution on his head -”

Taehyung giggled and Yoongi gave him a half-smile that made his heart jump.

“- so if you want to use this time to try out new things, go for it. You can be a good, little robot for Slughorn and do what you want here.”

“Seriously? You don’t think it’s, well, weird?”

“Nah, it’s cool. As nice as you look making potions, it would be more interesting for me to see something different. Who knows what could happen?”

“I mean, y-yeah, I thought -” Taehyung’s ears caught up with his brain - “…I look nice making potions?”

There was the slightest blush on Yoongi’s cheeks, so faint Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was imagining it because his voice seemed so nonchalant when he answered.

“You have nice hands. It’s nice to watch you prepare ingredients.”

Taehyung couldn’t help the bright smile from spreading across his face.

“Thank you.”

Yoongi busied himself with doodling on a scrap of parchment and Taehyung returned to his cauldron, feeling a little giddy and wondering what would happen if he left out the bat spleen completely.

-

Taehyung’s bi-weekly sessions with Yoongi became something of a highlight of the week.

Without the pressure to actually make successful potions, they usually just ended up talking and getting to know each other a little better. It was strange, for Taehyung to think that Min Yoongi, the boy he’d resigned himself to only looking at from a distance, was interested in knowing him, Kim Taehyung - odd Ravenclaw misfit with a propensity for experimental concoctions and a strange likeability.

Yet he really did feel like Yoongi was genuine. He didn’t think he knew how to be anything but, honestly. Two weeks and four sessions passed by quickly and Taehyung was trying to figure out if it would be too pushy to ask Yoongi to hang out outside of the small classroom when he bumped into Gregory Lee leaving the Great Hall after dinner, another Ravenclaw in his year who’s teasing often felt a little too hostile. The books Gregory was holding tumbled to the ground and Taehyung immediately bent to collect them.

“Yah, Kim. Watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry,” Taehyung apologized, handing over the fallen books.

“Always such an airhead,” Gregory smirked as he took his books.

“Um, I guess,” Taehyung said, not really wanting to engage him further. “Sorry.”

“Where are you off to so quickly, anyways?”

Taehyung really didn’t want to be having this conversation.

“Just...just some extra potions practice,” he whispered, unable to think of a lie.

“Extra potions?” Gregory repeated, voice loud. A few other students had started to pay attention and Taehyung felt his cheeks burn. “What sort of Ravenclaw needs extra lessons to keep up?”

Gregory was smiling condescendingly, a show of playful banter, but his eyes were hard.

“I…”

“C’mon, Kim. Gotta hit the books and make sure you’re not dragging the house down, yeah?”

He clapped Taehyung on the back a little too firmly and he stumbled a little, thankfully catching himself before he fell. There were murmurs as Gregory turned and sat back at the table and Taehyung saw Namjoon making a beeline for him so Taehyung fled from the Great Hall, eyes burning.

He didn’t feel like he could face Yoongi just then, not with the tight grip on his emotions slipping and his hands shaking, so he let his feet carry him to the Astronomy Tower, barely feeling the burn in his calves as he climbed the ancient stairs. He hoped Yoongi wouldn’t be mad that he wasn't showing up, but then again, maybe he’d been expecting it. After all he was an airhead…

Taehyung slumped to the dusty balcony floor, shivering a bit in the cool, night air.

Gregory would never be so bold in the Great Hall if Jimin had been there. He’d been on the receiving end of one too many of Jimin’s cold, intimidating stares to dare try and push Taehyung around when he was but a table away. Those remarks were usually reserved to the privacy of the Ravenclaw common rooms, where at least Taehyung was saved from the stares of the entire school.

He let himself wallow a little more, let a few tears escape as his backside slowly became numb, when he heard a rustle behind him. Taehyung jumped, never having been disturbed here before and pulled out his wand warily.

Yoongi’s face appeared at the entryway, cheeks a little flushed from exertion.

“Yoongi?” Taehyung gasped, lowering his wand.

“The one and only,” Yoongi said dryly, catching his breath. “You don’t pick easy spots to get to.”

“That’s...sort of the point.”

Look only slightly abashed, Yoongi settled himself on the floor next to Taehyung.

“You didn’t show up.”

“Um, yeah. Sorry about that.”

“I went to check the Great Hall to see if you were still at dinner and I bumped into Namjoon. He said there was some sort of argument and he was looking for you.”

“It wasn’t an argument,” Taehyung mumbled. “How’d you know where to find me anyways?”

“You mentioned it.”

“I did?”

Yoongi nodded, hair flopping a little into his face. “I was telling you that story about walking in on that couple making out in the Owlery and I said how if you find a good place in the castle to get some privacy, chances are ten other people know about it already.” Yoongi paused, looking at Taehyung who had drawn his knees up to his chest. “And you said, ‘Not the Astronomy Tower.’”

“Oh,” Taehyung whispered. “I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

The two were quiet for a moment, staring out at the grounds below them before Taehyung spoke again.

“Yoongi, do you...do you think I’m a bad Ravenclaw?”

The older boy turned to look at him and Taehyung was suddenly very aware of the dried tears on his cheeks and the tremble in his hands, but somehow, it felt okay to be a little vulnerable at the top of the Astronomy Tower.

“I feel like I’m in the wrong house sometimes,” he continued. “I don’t really fit in there. All my other housemates, they always know the answers and I only have more questions.  It’s not like I don’t get along with them, but I always feel like I can’t get too close either. Like, it’s okay when I’m smiling and bubbly ‘cuz then I’m just the strange, happy kid. I’m fun to be around. But that’s all I’m allowed to be.”

Taehyung couldn’t tell if he had started crying again, his cheeks too numb to feel the moisture slipping down them, but Yoongi shuffled a little closer, wiping a thumb under his eye and then leaning back, shoulder just brushing Taehyung’s.

“One time I stayed up all night trying to make a drawing of my dog,” Yoongi said suddenly.

A laugh escaped Taehyung’s mouth unexpectedly and he clapped his hand over it as Yoongi turned to him, smiling wryly.

“Did it - did it come out good?” Taehyung managed.

“Nah, can’t draw for shit,” Yoongi responded. “But I spent the whole night trying. Dunno why, I missed her I guess. Stupid school will let a shitty toad in before a dog.”

Taehyung laughed and Yoongi pressed his shoulder a little closer.

“Anyway, I was completely exhausted the next day. Nearly fell into my bowl of cereal at breakfast and fell asleep in the front row of Transfiguration class. By the next day, there were three rumors circulating: I had either spent the night in the Forbidden Forest gathering some rare potions ingredients, gone to meet with some powerful foreign wizard who was secretly teaching me dark arts, or was serving a night-long detention for something that only Dumbledore knew about.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi sighed. “People always seem to think that everything I do is mysterious. Or super deep. But sometimes I’m just tired, or moody, or happy. And I guess people do the opposite when it comes to you. You’re only allowed a single emotion when there’s so much more.”

Yoongi turned to him, meeting his eye squarely.

“You’re allowed to be complex, Taehyung. You’re allowed to have layers and feelings and likes and dislikes. And it sucks that people are so intent on seeing what they want to see instead of what’s actually there. You’re a great Ravenclaw - where’s the cleverness in knowing the answers that anyone could memorize from a book when there are still so many questions to be asked?”

Taehyung couldn’t answer because his lower lip had started wobbling and his throat felt like it was tight - tight with everything he had shoved deep down into his chest. And then Yoongi was pulling him against him in a gruff hug and Taehyung couldn’t help but bury his face into the front of Yoongi’s robes. It was only once his face was hidden against the dark fabric that the dam burst and Taehyung couldn’t stop the tears, didn’t want to stop the tears.

He felt Yoongi running his fingers through his messy hair a little awkwardly, but it felt nice. And they sat like that until Taehyung was dried out and a little warmer from the heat of Yoongi’s body.

There was a fondness in Yoongi’s eyes when he finally pulled away, rubbing at his face.

“Let’s get inside,” Yoongi said, standing. “My ass is numb.”

Taehyung chuckled weakly, letting himself be pulled up by Yoongi. And somehow, their hands stayed linked even after Taehyung had risen.

-

“Yoongi! Stop adding ginger root to everything!” Taehyung complained as the elder dumped another handful of the chopped ingredient to the cauldron and peered at it expectantly. “And don’t stand so close! What if it explodes in your face?”

Taehyung pulled on Yoongi’s robes and he backed up reluctantly.

“But Tae, ginger root makes it smell nice,” he protested.

“Yes, but I wanted to test stirring variations,” Taehyung said, making a notation on a piece of parchment. “If we change more than one thing we can’t be sure what’ll cause any potential change.”

“Oh.”

Yoongi dropped another piece of ginger root in.

“Oh, look! It’s turning green.”

Taehyung tried to be angry but Yoongi looked so happy, eyes wide and mouth a little open as he smiled, and he peered at the potion which was indeed turning a putrid shade of green.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Taehyung muttered as he re-dipped his quill.

The air suddenly felt a little warm and Yoongi turned to him.

“Did you just call me cute?”

“Umm,” Taehyung looked up tentatively. “Yes?”

“You think I’m cute?”

Yoongi was suddenly very close to him and the quill dropped from his hand.

“I...yes?”

“Oh.”

Yoongi looked down and Taehyung could see that his cheeks had gone a pretty pink, and he wasn’t exactly sure what to do with the flustered Slytherin in front of him, save hold his hand. So he did.

It was almost an unconscious movement. Yoongi had brought up one hand to fiddle at the clasp on his robes and they were standing so close already so it was so easy for Taehyung to just take his hand and hold it. Yoongi’s eyes flicked to their clasped hands and then up to Taehyung’s face which was wearing a matching blush.

“Is this okay? Last time you took my hand and it was really nice so I thought I would take your hand this time and mine is probably a little sticky from cutting the dandelion -”

“Can I kiss you, Taehyung?”

Taehyung’s mouth dropped open, aghast.

“You’re asking if you can kiss me?”

“I am,” Yoongi said slowly.

“I should be asking you, I mean I must’ve asked in my head a million times since the damned third year and then you just, just…”

“Since third year, huh?” Yoongi asked his eyes glinting.

“Ah, I may have had a slight crush on you and maybe those roses that blew up your bed last year were supposed to shower you with petals and - ”

Taehyung was cut off by a pair of soft lips on his own and warm hands wrapping around his waist and his mind went blank. He let his eyes flutter shut and oh god, they were kissing, mouths moving gently against each other, bodies held close.

It was almost painful to draw back, but air was scarce and their face remained mere inches apart holding each other’s gaze tenderly. The air smelled heavily of ginger.

“I think the potion is burning,” Taehyung murmured.

“Let it,” Yoongi said.

 And he leaned up to draw Taehyung back into another kiss and it felt a little like coming home.