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Logan wanted to beat himself up for suggesting Jean was ready for her graduation at the latest meeting between him, Ororo, Charles, and Hank. Since he had pushed it so hard, Chuck had assigned him with creating the scenario. As soon as he tried to protest he wasn't good with any of that computer shit, Hank had to open his mouth and offer to help. Now he had to come up with the test for her, and only one memory came to mind: his worst memory of her, the one that haunted his dreams.
Ever since she came back, the memory had twisted and turned into a nightmare. Instead of the Jean from before, it was Jean as she was now. He would have to kill her again, and every time, he couldn't. He would wake up mid-disintegration, sweating and panting with his claws out. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the half formed memories his nightmares used to be, instead, it was worse. These nightmares wouldn't fade in a few minutes, they lingered in the back of his mind as he would watch her pour everything into controlling herself. She had to succeed. He wouldn't be able to kill her again, he knew it deep in his heart.
So, he set to work, writing down what he could from memory before interviewing those that had been on the mission. Rogue was upset he wasn't writing her in, but there had been so much happening so fast during the actual event, he couldn't think of a way to do it. He explained that to her to no avail, just a thinly veiled accusation of not wanting to be around her. If he hadn't been so obsessed with getting every detail perfect, he would have been more diligent in finding out what was wrong with her. She blew him off anyways and he decided giving her space was better. She was an adult now anyways and didn’t need him to hold her hand anymore.
He was surprised at how quickly Hank was able to create his vision and how accurately he was able to as well. He was more surprised at how little they bickered at each other during each test of the simulation. Logan was demanding, needing to get every tiny thing he could think of as perfect as possible. When he got to that moment, he would end the test sim, just repeating aloud to Hank what needed to happen. He didn't need to see it again. He had planned on letting Hank and Ororo make the call if she made it through.
However, when the time came, Logan couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. There was such a raw beauty in the emotions running across his Jean’s face as the programmed Jean pleaded with her. He could see the tears in her eyes as she sliced the other down with a flamed wing, something he had only witnessed from her today but that he felt belonged on her. As soon as she fell to her knees, he made his way to her slowly and carefully. He was so proud of her, of what she said. The others had left when they noticed Logan sticking around, so it was his call.
She made it. She deserved it.
At first, he had rested on hand on her shoulder, but then those big green eyes bored into him with tears threatening to spill out. His heart ached, but he didn’t know what to do. He ended up sitting behind her and holding her closely, her back to his chest. He buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent and reminding himself she was real. (She even used the same shampoo and conditioner as before.) If she minded his presence, she said nothing, but he could feel that warm, familiar mental presence wrap itself around him. He made sure to loudly think of encouraging and comforting thoughts.
They stayed that way for a while, and he had lost track of time, but she finally moved. She stood up shakily and he could tell she was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. He swept her up in his arms and it was good he did as she quickly lost consciousness. He brought to her bed, tucked her in, and stayed at her side long enough for Chuck to mentally remind him that he had classes tomorrow and needed rest too. He was so proud and the thought just repeated over and over in his mind. His Jeannie had made it. She was a step closer to conquering her fears, and he was glad to be a part of the reason.