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"Family is supposed to be our safe heaven. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache."
- Iyanla Vanzant
The black canvas that is the night sky was flecked with twinkling specks of white, watching over the excited townspeople and nobles flocking in to the King's Castle. The heart of the Aether Kingdom was undoubtedly brimming with life tonight.
Many came buzzing into the lavishly adorned halls of the castle, admiring the rare, expensive pieces of art and impressive decorations bedecking the walls and the pillars. The finest of garments and jewelry were worn and flaunted every now so often with no shame; nobles especially loved to boast of their newest collections of gems. Lively music encouraged people to be merry, to dance.
Trays of delectable, mouthwatering food continued to impress guests, partnered with the overflowing infamous Viresi wine that was poured into the goblets held up by the wealthy. The king only offered the best of the best. It was intoxicating; it showed in their faces, with their gleeful smiles and peals of laughter that resonated among crowds. Intoxicating happiness, satisfaction. The King, with the Viresi culture and blood in him, always made it a goal to please people, live life to the fullest and enjoy music, the arts, and beauty.
King Romulus Vitus had ensured to make the royal ball a night never to be forgotten, and be spoken of for months to come. After all, he would definitely arrange for a bigger and grander event to follow the success of this one.
A man garbed with a fancy-looking red doublet with silver linings and a black leather belt around his waist strolled into the castle. Black pants tucked in his boots, and dark leather gloves for his hands. All these elegant clothes were thanks to his charms; talking his way in with the local females around the capitol to get him clothes. The grand ball was such an extravagant event to miss. He had to dress up for it.
Ah, but Lovino wasn't there to reconcile with his family...
He may have missed them just a little bit. Perhaps as well, the Vitus son wanted to see them from afar.
But again, that was never tonight's goal. Lovino went to the party because it was a good opportunity to get bits of treasures from all the rich women here; a golden necklace, a pouch full of gold coins, silver bracelets... Things he could easily slip in his pocket.
Oh, and maybe sneak in the royal bedchambers, too. Romulus must keep some of his prized possessions... And perhaps he'd take a visit at his old room as well.
The grand hall was impressive, he had to admit. Decorations, wine, food and all the merriment contributed to the perfection of this gathering. Lovino wondered, what was the reason for all this? Was Romulus to announce Feliciano as the official King?
He snorted, shaking his head. Lovino drifted close to the walls, pretending to admire a painting of Romulus holding a golden goblet in his hand.
The thought of the heir issue just made him bitter again. Not like there was a time he wasn't. It's all so stupid. His father, his brother, the whole kingdom... and himself. The eldest son of Romulus Vitus, who made a fool of himself and could never be better than his younger brother. To be the eldest, to be the king's heir... He knows he did not deserve it, and that truth he has believed was painful.
He was never good with his hands. Feliciano was a master of creating beautiful things, be it food or art, and his warm, and he wore an amicable demeanor which pulled people closer to him, admire and respect him as a true Vitus child... He was everything that Lovino was not.
He looked down at his gloved hands. Unskillful. Useless to the throne and the kingdom. The only thing he was good at was being a pickpocket... and that is how he survives day to day in the streets of the Capitol.
Now wasn't the time to distract himself though. He needed some cash to pay his rent and a beautiful woman to satisfy his eyes. He peeled away from the sidelines, blending in quickly with the crowd, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he observed the guests. People continued to flood the castle's grand hall. Nobles of Aether's regions were everywhere, and some people from the Capitol he's already familiar with... Such as that lovely baker, seemingly alone and admiring the castle's interior.
Perfect. A pretty lady who's distracted and easy to talk to. Emma Janssens, was it? A beautiful, career-driven pastry chef fairly well-known for her bakery and heavenly creations.
As he made his way towards Emma, Lovino froze in his spot when he saw his father standing just a few meters away from him and talking with the Ritters. King Romulus Vitus wore his fanciest and flashiest garments that reeked of glittering gold and soft silk. The Ritters were garbed in their house colors of black and yellow, distinguished among the colorful guests who wore warmer and more garish hues. Ulrich had not changed at all, with that "grim" expression on his stern face and long, pale blond hair. Beside him stood a seemingly smug and proud man. Was that the boy he met years ago? Gilbert, if he remembered right, with that unique white hair and sharp red eyes.
The longer he stared at Romulus, the angrier and miserable he became. Yet he still couldn't pull away from it.
Lost in his daze, conflicted thoughts and heavy emotions, the pickpocket had not realized he caught the eye of one Feliciano Vargas.
The younger Vitus had been talking to Ulrich's son, Ludwig, but never managed to continue the conversation the moment his eyes centered on the familiar figure. Innocent, amber eyes blinked at the recognition, and suddenly, everything else was irrelevant. Ludwig's voice, the music, the merry greetings- they all drowned away.
It has been four years.
And... he's returned home. His brother.
"...Lovi?" Feliciano whispered, taking a tentative step towards the other.
Returning to his senses, Lovino shook his head and finally peeled his eyes away from the king. He had to move now; he didn't come here to risk himself in any way with his family. He was here as... Lovino. Just Lovino. A man who lurked by the capitol's market and approached pretty ladies who were easy to talk to.
Speaking of pretty ladies-
He turned around to search for Emma, until his eyes met all too familiar amber ones. He stopped in his tracks once more, just staring at this person- another one he knew all his life. The surprise and sudden flow of memories filled his head. Feliciano. His brother, standing only a few feet from him with... what, this tall blonde macho knight?
Lovino's lips parted, as if he had something to say, but closed it immediately. His expression quickly changed to its usual grumpy state, and he frowned. As much as he wanted to walk away, there was this feeling of wanting to actually speak with his brother. It was... Feliciano, after all. The only thing he held against his brother was jealousy, but never hatred.
He was probably the only one who wanted him to stay in this damned castle.
Lovino walked towards his brother. "Tch, so do you remember me or not?" The older Vitus spat out, folding his arms across his chest.
The minute Feliciano saw Lovino approach him, his face immediately brightened with the sweetest of smiles he could ever have. He was quick to wrap his arms around Lovino for a hug, bubbling with excitement, happiness, and relief.
"Of course! Lovi! You're... You're finally here! Ah, let me-" He then grabbed one of Lovino's arms and pulled him over more, and gestured to Ludwig as he spoke.
The older Vitus son flushed beet red; what was happening? Where was this bastard bringing him? "Dammit, s-stop touching me!"
"Lovi, look! It's Luddy! I don't know if you know him or not, but he used to be my best friend when I was younger! He came here! So many people came here, it's so amazing!" He spoke quickly, radiating like the summer sun with his chirps and smiles. "Oh, Luddy, this is my brother!"
Ludwig raised a skeptical eyebrow upon their introduction. He was fairly certain that this man was the other king's son that had disappeared nearly four years ago.
Lovino groaned as he tried to push his younger brother away from him. His cool and seemingly evil prodigal brother entrance was just ruined by this idiot who was quick enough to hug him and dragged him. As much as he hated this, he kept his voice and resistance at minimal so as to not draw too much attention, especially from Romulus.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Lovino did miss Feliciano. Much more than he had expected.
Feliciano attempted to pull one of Lovino's arms out to make him try and shake Ludwig's hand.
The younger Ritter's mind was also muddled with plentiful worried thoughts. Should someone be telling the king about Lovino's return? Should I call him 'Your Highness'? He still is technically the eldest son, but he's also not in line for the throne anymore... But returning to the castle may imply the seat should be given back to him, would it not?
The blond was torn between doing his noble duties to inform the King of Lovino and attempting to make a conversation with Lovino, as Feliciano wished. In the end, he stiffly held out his own hand, trying to keep a straight face. Hopeful that the many worries in his head would not seep into his expression. "As Feliciano said, I'm Ludwig from the house of Ritter."
Wearing an even more miserable face, the older brother slapped away Feliciano's hand and crossed his arms instead, eyeing this man curiously. Luddy, Feliciano says. Critical, hazel eyes examined him from head to toe. Well, it was no doubt about it. "You look like old man Ritter, after all." Lovino said. The same stern expression and physical features were a giveaway to who he was. "Yeah, and as this idiot said, I'm Lovino, and I am not shaking your hand."
Lovino's vulgar mouth and hostility didn't hold themselves back against the young Ritter. It may be because he's anxious with attending the royal ball and all. Maybe because he's being pressed with his nostalgia, or it just might be he felt a bit protective of his younger brother. He was almost sure there was something between Ludwig and Feliciano; with a dead hint that the first thing his younger brother did upon seeing him was introduce him to his so-called best friend.
The tall blond cleared his throat then, lowering his hand to his side. Ludwig found himself at a loss when it came to what he should do next. He had been expecting Lovino to be similar to Feliciano, however appearance was the only thing that he could mark as a similarity between the two.
This is a reunion, he thought to himself. Perhaps it would simply be best to leave these two to their reuniting? Yes, that would clearly be the best option here. He did not know Lovino that well and clearly it would be good for the two brothers to talk alone rather than to try and include Ludwig in the conversation.
"Your highnesses," his voice called, breaking the uncomfortable silence between the three of them. He had decided to create a simple lie to slip out of their space. "It was lovely speaking with you, but I think someone has just called my name, and my assistance is needed there. I sincerely hope that you enjoy the rest of the ball."
Ludwig gave a stiff bow before exiting quickly to visit the long table teeming with various delicacies and cuisines. It was not difficult for the crowd to conceal him almost immediately who were also sampling the food and admiring the architecture of the castle's grand hall.
"W-What?" Feliciano turned, saddened and confused by this sudden departure. The young Vitus heir was positive he heard no one call out for Ludwig. He gave a little sigh.
The older brother snorted the moment Ludwig excused himself, muttering, "A big bastard but a complete idiot." Turning to Feliciano, Lovino raised a brow in the obvious gloomy mood he had on his face when his so-called 'best friend' left for an invisible person calling him.
What, so he preferred the company of that man than his own brother?
"Sorry about that, Lovi," He said, feeling a little awkward and dejected about everything that happened, but he tried to not let the events bother him. He plastered on another warm grin, his bright amber eyes fully centering himself on his brother now. "I don't know why he wanted to leave. But Lovi! I didn't think I'd even see you here! I'm so glad you came!"
His smile grew bigger, as he let himself give Lovino another big hug. He knew Lovino must've been a little happy to see "little" Feliciano again too. He just didn't show it as well, but he knew it was there. They grew up together, being good friends and playmates, looking out for each other until...
Until that time. When favoritism peaked so much it was impossible to miss.
"Sorry, yeah." Lovino rolled his eyes and clicking his tongue in irritation. "Stop the act, will ya? You know you could just follow that man instead of me, it's that obvious you'd be happier with him. And stop hugging me! People aren't supposed to know I'm here!"
His cheeks flushed red from embarrassment, his hands awkwardly on his sides, but still, he tried to squirm out, instead of pushing Feliciano away. He... couldn't bring himself to do it. He missed this kind of warmth. This love.
Finally, the older Vitus brother managed to squirm away and miraculously not throw a barrage of cusses at Feliciano. Lovino straightened his doublet and dusted off his sleeves. He threw a stern look at the younger Vitus, before the embarrassed shade of red grew even more florid. Man, this was... difficult, and awkward. "S-So... How have... you been? And... Romulus..."
Feliciano couldn't help but let out a small laugh. He hadn't changed one bit, he thought, admiring his brother and all that he was - stubborn, angry-looking, but also still caring. Perhaps, the younger brother may be the only person that could see past all of Lovino's bitter attitude to see all that love inside him. Feliciano always seemed to see the best in everybody, and he know Lovino had so much love inside that he could not show. For him, and their family.
At the question, his smile faltered a little bit.
"Well... We're good,"Feliciano glanced down, sadness seemed to have washed over him a bit. Lovino had to look away, biting down the guilt brought by his reaction. It has been years and... the weight of it all never really lightened.
We're good.
It kept repeating in Lovino's head. Just 'good'? The king and his family managed to host this lavish, grand ball, with all sorts of people coming as spectators of the kingdom's happiness and wealth.
"We miss you a lot though," His eyes looked back up at Lovino. It was different without his brother around. Sure he could be a big jerk sometimes, but Feliciano was always happy to see his brother. There was a special bond he felt he had with him, they were brothers after all. He naturally loved his brother, and for him to have been gone for so long... Things felt a little emptier at home. "You could just stay you know..?"
He gave a small smile. Lovino absolutely refused to look at him, merely scoffing and running a hand through his hair.
"I know you have lots of reasons to probably not stay, but... I miss you a lot." He gave his brother yet another hug, this one tighter, as if he knew Lovino would not stay, and it might be another, very long time before he got to see him again.
"Idiot, as if I would stay again here. Your pathetic reason isn't enough. Besides, you're doing well, it seems. No need for me to ruin everything again, right?"
The older Vitus did not try to struggle or squirm out this time. His hands hung motionlessly by his side, his expression nearly indecipherable, if it weren't for the pooling of tears that were prepared to betray him. His voice almost cracked at the last things he said.
It was nice to hear he was missed. It was nearly four years since he last stepped in this castle. But he knew it was only Feliciano who missed him. Everyone in the palace never saw him as Lovino Vitus who struggled so much to meet everyone's expectation, but as Romulus' problem child who was never fit to rule. Tears were wiped away before Feliciano had the chance to look at him.
Feliciano let go, and stared at Lovino, a little hopefully. It was impossible not to see the tinge of longing and sadness in the boy's kind, amber eyes. "But you should consider it, you know..?"
"I'm in a better place outside the castle," He smirked, hands on his waist. He wasn't going to tell him the details, but, "I'm more useful there than this hellhole."
A brief moment drifted between the two brothers. Lovino's smug half-smile faltered into a strict line, almost a scowl. A determined, pain scowl. Hopeful eyes met Lovino's stern hazel pair. "I will never come back to this damned castle. Remember that, Feliciano."
Feliciano, yet again, had to feel disappointment wash over him. Lovino would not come back to stay here. How many more people he cared about so much would leave him behind? Mama... His thoughts softly reminded him, how too early she was taken away from them, how he and Lovino wailed the night of her passing. It had become lonely in the castle without its guiding light, and even lonelier without his brother by his side. It was all that this castle was becoming... Lonely.
It must have been a rare chance for him to see Lovino at this ball at all. That thought continued to surface again from the back of his mind. Who would leave next..? He already knew the inevitable fate that his father would one day... No. He did not want to look that far into the future. He needed to fight these thoughts.
He forced a small smile for his brother. Because Lovino had his own heart aches too. He did not want to impose something that would just hurt him.
"It's alright Lovi, I understand."
Lovino wouldn't be gone forever, I will still see him! Yes... And... Maybe Lovino is just taking a really long vacation right now! And he'll come home soon, for good...! It wasn't the most believable thing Feliciano could think of, but it certainly helped chase away those sad thoughts for a little while. He couldn't help but pull his brother for a tighter hug again. He wanted to hold him longer. Forever, if he could, if it meant that he could stay with him here.
In all honesty, the older Vitus brother expected another round of "Brother, please stay!" from Feliciano, but instead, this response just sort of surprised him- in a way it made his features and heart soften quite a bit for a brief moment.
"Y-Yeah, alright, g-good..." Lovino replied awkwardly, for once surrendering himself to the hug and patting Feliciano's back lightly. It felt warm and nice, he had to admit.
As the two Vitus siblings were caught up in their own affairs, King Romulus jovially welcomed further guests and took time to speak to them. The Ritters have gone on to enjoy the rest of the festivities. The Vikings and their new female companion entered; he had invited them despite the region of Forbitrelse out of the Aether Kingdom's governance. This was a ball meant for everyone, after all. He would have to greet the Earl and his crew later on. Romulus scanned the room, finding the Czars of the north returning to the bylines.
Just as they moved from the center, he finally managed to get a glimpse of Feliciano once again. Hosting the balls like this made it difficult to keep track on where his heir had gone off, or who he was talking to. Romulus did remember Feliciano whisking away Ludwig to catch up. This time, his sweet Feliciano was talking to another of his children...
"Lovi..." He breathed out. Remorse written all over his face. How would he even approach them?
"Lady Czarina, Lord Czar." The king met them with a greeting once the Czars approached. "Lord Ivan, I'm glad you have come safe from your travels. I was anxious to see Lady Natalya alone earlier, but alas- Sir Alfred was kind enough to keep her company." He grinned, avoiding to see Feliciano and Lovino from the distance while talking to them.
He could not postpone this for longer. His heart was heavy. "Now would you please excuse me, I'll be right back." Bidding them with a respectful nod, Romulus stirred himself to the younger Vitus' direction. His pace slow and anxious, hands clenched into fists that he attempted to hide by resting them behind him.
"So... Where are you staying now..? I'd really like to come visit some time... I don't want us to not get to see each other for years at a time... It's not as fun here without you." Feliciano smiled a little, it wasn't as powerful as his smiles normally were.
If he could have some reassurance he could see Lovino a little bit more, that would be more than enough. Part of him was so tempted to tell his father Lovino was here, so maybe he could make Lovino stay, but... That wouldn't be fair to Lovino. Who knows? Maybe Lovino is living in a big palace of his own somewhere! That was a nice thought.
While Feliciano's thoughts were focused on those matters, Lovino was in an urgency that he needed to break away from this nostalgia and sentimental thoughts to find an escape now. No way was he in the condition to be stealing from pretty ladies at the moment. His train of thinking was quickly interrupted by Feliciano's question, and he blinked at him.
"W-What," Lovino's face returned to its sour frown, and took another step back. "I won't tell you, of course! I'm not a fucking idiot!"
What, he'd let himself be found in the taverns drunk as hell? Or sleeping with bandits and stray cats in the outskirts of the Capitol? Or be dragged back to the kingdom?! "What's the sense of running away if I tell you?!"
His face remained annoyed for the next few seconds, before a scarlet color swept his cheeks again and the older brunet had to look away.
"I-If you w-wanna see me, though... W-We can meet up somewhere, sometimes... Just don't tell Romulus about it." He couldn't look at Feliciano comfortably now. He hated to admit that he wanted to see his younger brother again after today.
"... Don't tell me what?"
Lovino stiffened at the voice.
Even without turning, Lovino knew. His face was rigid, his hands went cold. The sudden gush of emotions made him so fragile right now. All the anger, frustration, shame and betrayal were taking over even if he did miss his old man.
The king raised an eyebrow, a kind but hesitant smile on his face. So, he's finally seen Lovino. After all these years. Romulus wouldn't lie, he would want to hug him and smother him with love. But obviously, that wouldn't be what the younger would wish for. It was rather too late for him now, actually. A number of years too late.
An obviously startled jump occurred before Feliciano turned to see Romulus, smiling brightly as always, and hugging him happily. "Oh...! H-hi papa! I didn't even see you there! You kind of scared me!" He smiled, a little awkwardly, laughing it off a bit.
"Feli," He returned the quick hug, then pulling out to ruffle his hair. It was painful for Romulus to turn his head and see Lovino up front, but at the same time he felt grateful to have the chance to see him more than anything else tonight so far. "Lovino..." He breathed out.
Worry reflected in Feliciano's face, his eyes seemed to be pleading for his brother not to go as he looked at him. He knew this was probably a rather uncomfortable situation for Lovino to be in... Possibly for his father as well.
Why couldn't Lovino just stay..? Everything would be easier if he would, but... He couldn't make Lovino do anything really.
If he could just... stay.
Lovino met Feliciano's gaze for a second, and he returned it with a furrow of his brows and a frown before looking away again. God fucking dammit, Lovino, He thought. Don't fucking cry. Don't you dare fucking cry in front of this old jeezer.
Ancient auburn eyes scanned the older Vitus brother from head to toe. "My, my. You've grown..." Romulus's anxiety was building, but he managed to suppress it and pull the prodigal son into his arms with rusty movements.
"O-Of course," Lovino replied rather quietly, still not looking Romulus in the eye. What he didn't expect though, albeit awkwardly and stiffly, was Romulus pulling him into a hug, which elicited a small gasp from him.
"L-Let go," Lovino hissed, struggling to push away the king's rather big frame from him. "Romulus, stop it...!" So close to crying, so close to venting out his anger again. He wanted to punch his father in the face, but he knew he'd end up with broken knuckles instead.
Oh, Romulus knew he was about to cry. It made him shake off his remorse and paint a smile on his face to realize that the old man still has an affect on him. Maybe he doesn't hate him, after all. Or maybe it wasn't just as intense as he thought it would be. Still, he remained oblivious to whatever it was and decided to let the sun shine down on him.
The king hugged him even tighter, practically already lifting him off the ground with his embrace. "Don't you dare cry! You know I'll cry next!" He wept. "I missed you too."
"Who m-missed who?! I didn't say I missed you, y-you old fart!" Lovino retorted, still in the midst of struggling in his clingy father's embrace. All his punches were in vain; the king might be old, but his strength was one that was still unbeatable. And the fact that Lovino was quite a weakling himself even if he acts so tough and hostile. "Damn, put me down! This is embarrassing...!"
But more than the embarrassment that drew almost everyone's attention to their place, it was Romulus's words that finally pushed him to tears. "God fucking dammit, don't cry, you old jeezer...!" He sniffed, covering his face with a gloved hand and the other still trying to push the other man away. He wouldn't dare face anyone now with this kind of image.
What kind of idiot was Romulus?! Wasn't he supposed to be angry at him because he ran away and disappeared for almost four years?! Wasn't he supposed to confront him with all the bullshit he told him before he left?!
"Romulus, p-put me down and stop sobbing like a little baby...!" Said the son who was not sobbing like a little baby himself. He could not help it. He cried. He cried until his eyes were hurting, until his cheeks and neck were burning.
"I-I'm sorry-" The older man sniffed, neglecting Lovino's complaints and thrashing easily because he was obviously stronger. "S-stop crying first!"
Lovino kept his hand on his face. His glove was soaked with tears. "W-Why... Why... aren't you... mad... at me..."
"I haven't seen you for years, how can I be mad?!"
Romulus's strain and hurt just melted away into the radiance of his sun that always managed to glow despite the darkest times. With one last squeeze, he finally placed his son to the ground and removed his embrace, but clasped his hands on his shoulders. "You thought I was angry?! At whom? You?" He cried, sniffing and laughing.
If there was one person he was mad at, then it was at his own self for being a failure as a father. Not at all at Lovino. What kind of father would resent his son, anyway?
"That's s-stupid...!" Lovino wailed, pounding him on the back one last time weakly before the king put him down, his knees actually trembling as his feet touched the pavement. Do you mean Romulus didn't have any sort of grudge in all these years he left the palace?!
His face went beet red again and he couldn't stop himself from shouting now, really. "Why aren't you mad at me y-you old fucking fart?!" The older son demanded.
Many of the bystanders had come to seek what was happening. However, Ulrich and Ludwig had arrived, shielding the family and urged to the people to stay away. Feliciano tried to usher his father and brother to the corner of the hall, away from curious eyes.
The three of them shuffled awkwardly to the side, close to the huge draperies that hung by the tall, intimidating stained windows of the grand hall. All of their eyes were red. The sniffling had not stopped.
"Stop being silly," Romulus then wiped the tears off Lovino's face before pulling him once again in a hug, and grabbing Feliciano in an embrace next.
"I'm not silly; you're the one being-" He wasn't even done speaking when Romulus trapped him and Feliciano in another embrace, drowning all the complaints coming from his own trash mouth. "...I hate you... I h-hate all of you..."
The king neglected his pleas and knew that the kid never meant that he hated him. Not while he's crying his heart out as he did. "We love you too." He laughed.
Once caught up in the hug of their father, and in Lovino's constant struggling and being stubborn, Feliciano laughed a little. Lovino said he hated them, which meant he loved them! So that definitely brought a smile to the youngest Vitus's face. He enjoyed this little group hug, it was a little family reunion, which made him happier than anyone could ever know.
"My boys..." He laughed loudly, little streams of tears on the corner of his eyes. It was as if the presence of his wife and their mother is so close now. So close that he could feel her warmth.
God, if only this could last a little longer. Forever. He just wanted his sons here with him by his side. In their home, together.
Romulus finally decided to let go. The king was fortunate enough to be much stronger than either of them. But then again he wouldn't be a king if he wasn't. "My queen would be so proud," he breathed out. His smile much, much sincere this time than ever tonight though little tears brimmed in the corner of his eyes.
"If mother were still alive, she wouldn't let me feel the need to run away..." Lovino grumbled in a low tone, unsure whether anyone heard it.
Stumbling back as soon as Romulus released them, Lovino wiped off the snot and tears on his face and gave a groan. Looking at these two men, he asked himself why he didn't inherit that sort of cheerfulness. Then again, that's what made them idiotic and stupid, so he's partly thankful for being the rude bastard he was.
Feliciano looked up at his brother, this time his amber eyes more hopeful, cheerful. "Lovi, you should really stay now! Please? See! We all miss you!" He gave a smile, this time, he was really sure that Lovino would want to stay. Of course he would, why wouldn't he want to stay after this? He had to!
"I'm... not... ugh, no." The older Vitus argued with Feliciano's plea of staying here, straightening himself up. He took a deep breath before looking over his small family again. "I don't want to... stay."
He didn't have a place in the kingdom. He knew that. "I'm... The world outside the castle has more use for me than in here." He explained rather quietly now, careful not to slip out a word of his new profile as a smooth-talking thief amongst the townspeople. "Outside of these premises, I'm simply just... Lovino. With no ties to any of you."
His head hung low with the next thing he was about to say. "B-but... I-I... Even if I don't wanna live here... a-anymore... C-Can... I visit sometimes...?" Because he certainly, unquestionably, did not miss these two fools. Nor the beautiful maidens serving them. Certainly not.
"Pfft, this is your home, you can come here anytime." Romulus motioned his hand by flicking his wrist at Lovino. However, his energy visibly lowered, with the frown on his face and the dulling of his bright, auburn eyes. "You could have told us everything before... It would have saved me from worry."
Of course, having a son leave your nest wouldn't be the greatest. But if Lovino would have notified him of what was going on instead of just running away, then it would at least lessen the king's wary. It wasn't at all hard to envision his son leaving for an adventure to find himself and pay visits every now and then instead of waking up one morning, learning that his eldest had left without knowing when he'll see him again.
The king sent his people to find him. But when he knew that Lovino ran away with his own wishes, he decided to take a step back and have him guarded from afar instead. He figured that the lad would even resent him even more if he forced him to return in the castle. And to what? Lock him in his room until he would get tired of sneaking out?
Romulus valued free will the most before anything else, the entire five realm knew this fact surely. Generally, because he despised being caged himself. Chaining his own sons would be the most horrific thing that he can do towards them.
"Alas, what's done is done," he sighed, shaking off the slight disappointment. "You can come by and have dinner with us anytime. Or, ask the kitchen for some meat and wine to last you for a month. Whatever you need- food, wool, cloaks, whatever!"
Lovino's entire 'rebellion' didn't exactly make sense if he was to rely on the castle's supply of reliefs, but Romulus didn't mind at all. Better to know that one of his own kin isn't starving off to some cold corner to help him sleep at night.
The older Vitus son could only shake his head at his father's sentiments. His heart hurt. The emotions could not stop, he could not hold back all the pain and frustration. It was far too harrowing for him to keep it all in after tonight's events.
"Home, you say... You should've at least let me feel like it was." He grumbled again, rubbing the back of his neck as he rocked his heels uncomfortably. He looked at Romulus with stern eyes, a frown on his face again. "It wouldn't have made a difference," He replied, a lot more easier now after crying his eyes out.
"What, you expect me to tell you, 'Hey ya old jeezer I'm leaving this place once and for all because you're obviously being unfair to me'? Nothing would have changed, right?" For a moment his gaze lingered on Feliciano, pained and dejected, before turning to his father again.
"'Nothing would have changed'?" Romulus' smile became stern, but still it remained. When it comes to killing the mood, he has to give it to his son. "You should have thought about that before coming here tonight."
"I... just wanted... to check up on... Feli." He motioned his head to his younger brother, a slight blush rising to his cheeks.
It was true that Lovino resembled his father more than Feliciano, but... Nothing. The similarity absolutely meant nothing at all. There was nothing for him here. He had years of growing up and watching his siblings- even those who were his father's bastards- become more respectable people. A heir to the throne, a bureaucrat, an admiral, a lord of other houses... where was his place?
Lovino was convinced that if he stayed again here, all the insecurities and inferiority he's tried so hard to ignore will come crashing again.
Romulus clenched his fists, but hid them behind his back before the boys could even see. Despite being a person of bliss and sunshine, there's still a hard part to every man that no one would want to cross. And he found that no matter how much love he poured out to Lovino long before, it still wasn't enough to reach him.
Though Romulus did have a flaw- that one single flaw that was enough to ruined him as a father. And that's his favoritism of Feliciano.
The king is well aware of that, but was it enough to degrade him like one of the worst in the history that made him appear like he couldn't even moderate his own kin? And what more on ruling a kingdom? Clearly, whatever misunderstandings he had with Lovino wasn't of something he was glad about. If for a split second, the younger would think that it never costs him anything; not only emotionally, as well as raising the questions of authorities about his ruling, then boy would it stir the wrath in him.
In any way, Romulus knew he did not mistreat him. He knew well that he cared too little or rather loved too much to even mistreat even a single soul of those outside his own home. He thought of all those reports that he heard in the small council- how a father of those in the bottom of the social class would make their own sons and daughters do labor. Worse, sell them to the slaver's bay. Still, he refrained on pointing this, having not the intention to spark a fight.
He drew in a deep breath, trying his best not to worsen whatever kind of crease this is. "I know I have my flaws as a father, I apologize. Truly." His tone was sincere, but still with the hint of authority a father would have.
'I may have not given you the same attention and praises as I did with Feliciano, but was that even reasonable enough to cause a scene? Was it enough to deem me as the worst father in the realm in your eyes?' How he wanted to say these thoughts in his mind, but kept them for himself instead.
Lovino's eyes locked on his old man's face, and bitterly thought of the time he chose Feliciano over him for the throne. That was, perhaps, the trigger that set him to leave the palace. That time in his younger years, he had hoped that maybe his father would still help him get his shit together and tell him he could be better than he was. Something their mother would have done if she were still alive.
Romulus hung his head low. "If one day, you would decide that I am worthy enough of being your father, you would know where to find me."
Afraid of burning everything, Romulus decided it was best if he was the first to keep distance. There was a bitterness in the words he have left him, hopefully enough to make the younger understand the situation his father was in instead of focusing on his own intentions.
The king's apology though certainly made Lovino snap up from his suffocating thoughts, rendering him completely speechless. He blinked, the surprise in his face too obvious. At the bitter end of his response, it almost made Lovino break into tears again but tried to steel himself.
"I'm..." He croaked out. "I... n-nevermind. Just... I'm... sorry to be such a f-failure, father."
He wasn't prepared to tell him in detail how sorry he was for being a spoiled brat, an insensitive jerk for making the king feel that he failed as a father. So, to apologize for being a failure of a son was the simplest and easiest he could do.
"I... I'm sorry, Feli." Lovino mumbled, before letting himself wander someplace else where he could just think his life over. He can't do this now. He... can't.
The king stopped on his heels after hearing his son's apology. He bowed his head, hiding the torment on his face.
"Why would I think of you as a failure?" He said, calling out to Lovino in hopes his words will help him from thinking that way. The boy stopped in his tracks to listen to what else the king has to say. "You're surviving entirely on your own. How is that counted as a failure?"
Self-reliance may be one of the most important thing a man or woman born of a high family could never know. And here he is in a pilgrimage entirely on his own, without a squire or a handmaiden. That did count as something important to Romulus' eyes. Not everything is about wealth or authority after all.
"You're my son. I'd never think of you as one." Romulus called to his behind one last time.
Lovino never bothered to turn around, hot tears pooling at the corners of his eyes yet again. Shaking his head, Lovino fled the castle, pushing by curious spectators who murmured amongst themselves.
Feliciano watched helplessly as his brother Lovino left, a hand reached out to make an attempt to stop him, but he quickly withdrew his hand, knowing full well there was no point. With everything that had just occurred here, Lovino probably just wanted to be left alone for now, and Feliciano could understand that.
His wistful gaze went back and forth between Lovino and his father, until his brother had fully left the halls with no trace.
He was so sure that for a moment, he had succeeded in persuading Lovino to stay, but it seemed all of that went up in smoke. Not only was he sad that their family couldn't enjoy a few moments of being reunited, but he was worried too. They had lived such a comfortable life growing up in the safety of their kingdom. How could Lovino thrive in those dangerous streets out there?
It worried the little brother greatly, but he can't help but feel a little angry as well with the decisions Lovino has made.
Feliciano sighed. Now he was left alone standing by the window. Tired, hazel eyes peered through the stained glass, watching the stars in the dark sky. Ludwig would approach his friend from behind, however, he could not help but feel somber at tonight's events. He observed Feliciano longingly looking at the heavens outside.
Mama...
The town square was a place busy, lively and grand in the day especially, but with the grand ball held at the castle, it was empty and quiet tonight. Just right for Lovino at the moment; he needed some time out.
Somehow, he was relieved to have seen his family once more. But with how things ended up, he partly regretted going to the ball.
"Why would I think of you as a failure?"
'Why would you not, Romulus? If you knew the truth...' The Vitus runaway thought, walking slowly, dazed. The short journey from the palace to the square he spent on letting his tears out once more after that last response from the king. If he knew that by being useful outside the castle was an occupation as a pickpocket, Lovino was sure his old man would be very disappointed. As if all his failures were not enough.
He took his place at the edge of the fountain, burying his face in his hands between his knees. In the quietness of the square, Lovino's frustrated wails broke the silence.
Nothing he did was ever right.
Nothing he did was ever good.
He was pathetic. He was useless. He was... he was lost. His hazel eyes desperately sought guidance from the stars above. Tears would not cease to stream from them. Lovino searched through the endless ocean of stars for answers, for comfort, for... love.
Mama... Are you watching? What... What do I do?
At the same time at the grand hall, the king rushed to find comfort in isolation to refresh his mind. It was more of a conflict, but the man took it as another rejection to his face. He's the father, after all. It was his responsibility to straighten things up. That was his chance! Finally, Lovino has been the one to appear willingly around his presence, and yet he screwed it up. Part of him wanted to get out of here and find the kid, but the other half wanted to drink the night away.
And so, he filled his goblet with wine and chugged it down. The warmth of the finest of Viresi wine reaching his veins that awakened his soul to drink another.
Romulus was just about to walk to the dais before seeing Ulrich in a conversation with his own sons. Roderich has arrived, apparently. It made him stop for a moment to realize that at least he has been able to reconnect with his family. A lazy smile crept to his face while watching them- glad for Ulrich's sake, before it diminished to a frown, remembering how he finished his own conversation with Lovino. He returned to the dais, watching the guests mingle about absentmindedly with the goblet of wine in hand.
Ulrich excused himself from his sons, returning to Romulus' side. Stern blue eyes centered on his face. The despondence of the king also caught the attention of Matilda Vita, Romulus' daughter and the kingdom's brilliant bureaucrat.
"Your frown might cause worry amongst the people," Ulrich spoke when he approached his king. Matilda nodded in agreement.
"Your highness, is something troubling you? It is not often you choose to distance yourself in such a gathering as this." She said in her polite, soft tone.
Cut from his inattentive gaze and deep train of thoughts, the king looked up to see Ulrich and Matilda reach to him on the dais. For a second, his auburn eyes blinked at the both of them to process what they were planning before shaking his head.
"Oh. Sorry," He chuckled. "I'm doing well, I appreciate both of your kindness. Especially you, my sweetling." Romulus smiled at his daughter. It was enough of a notion to calm himself knowing that the two somehow cared. "I hope the both of you are enjoying! I'd be disappointed if not..."
"Hmmmm..." Matilda hummed, not entirely convinced on his father's well-being, but far be it for her to decide how he felt. "Of course. I'm quietly enjoying myself, as is usual." She answered, smiling sweetly back at him. "It is quite an impressive gathering, after all."
Romulus expression brightened, even just a little. "Spectacular!" He cheered. A grin forming his lips sooner, slowly gearing his mood to positive without much of his notice. The joy of a short attention span... "I hope it helps divert your thoughts from your stressful work, as how it was intended to be."
The Lord of Adlerhorst stood by the two, his attention turned to the conversation they had. He didn't have any intentions in interrupting, it was more than clear that his word would not suit in something the two of them talked about. Not that it was that rare for him to be quiet anyway.
The king watched the party unfold, before realizing something that hardened his bright features. Matilda's work- it was enough to garner information within the Capitol, was it not?
"Can I ask of you a favor, my dear?" His sincere eyes found hers, but without the warm smile on his face whether it was a fake or not.
The young Vita lady raised a curious brow. This was intriguing. Even Ulrich had his curiosity on the matter. "What favor would that be?"
Romulus glanced at Ulrich for a moment and smiled at him before returning to Matilda. The three were at the dais, confirming that no one else is within earshot to eavesdrop. "It's not as complicated as your job, I assure. But it's important to me..." He began. "Can you keep an eye on Lovino? Possibly report what has he been up to?"
Unfortunately for him, he had no idea that his son was a thief. A very good and stealthy one, even. May this be a step on the right way or a disastrous one, he did not know.
"Yes, of course. However... Is something the matter with Lovino now? I did see him earlier..." Matilda was certain she had offered her services during the earlier times of Lovino's disappearance... So why now?
"Thank you," Romulus flashed a smile to Matilda before turning to his other companion. The Lord of Adlerhorst already had his eyes glaring at him.
"Don't tell me-" Romulus shook his head at Ulrich as if to stop him before saying anything else in disapproval. "I'm doing this as his father, before anything else."
Ulrich understood that the King was worried about his son, but spying on him might not result in being the best move to make. He could understand him, though. Perhaps it was because he was a father that was separated from members of his family too, or maybe it was just easy to understand the meaning behind the brunet's actions.
"I know you are, and it's not in my right to stop you. However, I hope you do realize it might not end so well, especially if he wants to keep his actions hidden from you." The blond man warned. He didn't know Lovino that much, but he could imagine the young Vitus would not like it if he was to find out his father was more or less spying on him.
"Is there another option for me to take? ... Unless it included me completely forgetting that I had a son." He frowned. But then remembered to liven up, so he sighed and forced a mask. He has to focus on the greater things, the happier side of matters.
A soft, nostalgic chuckle left his lips. Ulrich and Matilda would share a look of confusion as the king went on a small ramble. "Lovi... He's grown up so much in the years. He's become so self-reliant, and... the way he speaks that he's found a role that outside of the castle, without my aid or using the Vitus name..."
Romulus paused, auburn eyes looking out at the open doors of the grand hall beyond the merry crowd. He could see the dark horizon outside, dotted with bright, twinkling stars. A softer, gentler smile graced his lips. He remembered telling his sons several years ago that their mother was up there in the heavens, fondly watching over them.
His beloved wife would surely be guiding and protecting their son. She has always been.
"...I'm proud of him."