Archive of Our Own

1.

Jihyun is drawing again. He's always drawing something, whether they're sketches in his notebooks or doodles on the side of his homework, the latter of which sometimes gets him in trouble with their teacher.

Jumin is secretly impressed by his friend’s imagination because he knows he could never think up half of the art that Jihyun puts out on a normal basis.

He makes such beautiful things that Jumin can see a bright future ahead of him.

All he has to do is find the right art college, the right agent, the right coordinator... Well, the details can be worked out later. What matters is that he is talented.

Jihyun is usually lost in his thoughts which is why Jumin doesn't believe for a second that the situation currently transpiring is anything but fictitious. One of their classmates has just told Jumin a rather concerning bit of info regarding Jihyun. He plans to get to the bottom of this.

Jumin settles himself at the base of the tree beside Jihyun and tilts his head in greeting. "What are you drawing?" He doesn't make it a habit of sitting where his clothes could get messy… but today calls for exceptions.

"Jumin." smiles Jihyun, his expression turning pensive as he angles his sketchbook towards his friend. "I was sketching that bird up there."

There are few people who Jihyun trusts enough to show his drawings to. Jumin easily tops the list. They're best friends for a reason, no one can compare to him. It makes him feel quite smug sometimes.

He glances up at the tree and spots a bird between the branches, preening itself without a care in the world. The way Jihyun has framed it within his sketchbook is wildly different than how Jumin sees it there on the branch.

It's just a barn swallow. Jumin has read about them in ecology journals. Or tried to. He's very young and large words are not yet his forte.

Barn swallows are overwhelmingly common but Jihyun makes the bird above their heads look like it is the only one like it in the whole world.

"You're really quiet," Jihyun remarks gently, returning to his sketch. "Are you okay?"

"Wujin told me that you hope my father's company goes broke."

Silence stretches between them like a heavy veil of fog. Slowly, Jihyun sets his book down in a patch of grass beside him and turns his entire body towards Jumin, not minding the fact that his uniform will be stained with grass. "I didn't say that." He says. And then, "I wouldn't."

"I know that." says Jumin, because he does. Their fathers are friends and business partners. But even if they were mortal enemies and if Jihyun was told that the Hans were awful people his whole life... He still wouldn't say such things. That's the kind of person he is.

"So then why did you tell me?" Jihyun seems genuinely concerned and the fact that he doesn't know why Jumin brought it up concerns him.

He takes a deep breath. "Don't you want to get back at him for it?"

There are so many ways that Jihyun could execute the perfect form of revenge against the classmate who's been spreading the ridiculous rumours against him. Jumin can think of three immediately with several more to come.

But Jihyun frowns and shakes his head. "There's no reason to do that."

"You're too nice." He says flatly. "People are going to take advantage of that."

"No, they won't." says Jihyun.

Jumin has always seen the bad in people and Jihyun has always seen the good. Some middle ground would do them a world of good but just the idea of a third party interfering with their friendship makes something murky coil deep in Jumin's stomach.

Jumin turns his gaze from his friend to the entrance of the courtyard. The same student who had told Jumin the story about Jihyun is watching, probably waiting to see the fight that he hoped would ensue.

He won't give him that satisfaction, certainly not after he tried to drag Jihyun through the mud.

"I have an idea." says Jumin, "Stay still."

"Jumin, what are you–"

He leans forward and kisses Jihyun before he can finish that thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Wujin stomp back into the school angrily.

He pulls back from Jihyun and nods smugly. "That'll really make him mad."

"Why did you do that?" asks Jihyun, pushing mint green hair from his eyes as he stares incredulously at Jumin.

"My father does that all the time. It'll show Wujin that we're still close." He says proudly, delighted to have cooked up that plan all by himself. And it worked because the boy had left in a fury.

Jihyun furrows his brows, “Weird.”

He goes back to drawing and Jumin goes back to watching him. Their impromptu kiss is all but forgotten.

They won't even remember it when they're older.

2.

His middle school expectations did not involve trashy magazines for girls with low reading comprehension and zero interest in current affairs.

IconaPink's Guide to Love!! Fifteen stories about magic first kisses!

Why did he ever let the girls in his class give him this? He'll have to burn it so that no trace is left behind. Such is the life of a CEO's son who has an image to keep up.

Jumin glares at the dumb magazine with as much rage as he can muster. Its colour scheme is menacingly pink and frankly repulsive with some singer from a girl group that he doesn't know on the cover.

All the girls had been talking about how beautiful she was. The boys did the same thing but in a much more crude manner.

Jumin stares at the woman. She is... passable. Jumin just can't figure out what was so appealing about her. He's seen women that look just like her hanging onto his father at countless parties. (He wouldn't put it past the covergirl being one of them.)

Jumin exhales and opens his algebra textbook, trying hard to understand the numbers and letters scrawled across the pages. It's no use. His head is preoccupied with trivial matters.

A knock on his door stirs him from his distracted thoughts. "Who is it?" He asks.

The door opens cautiously and a head of mint hair peeks into the room. "Hi, Jumin. Are you busy?"

Jihyun... He must've come as soon as his after school club was over. Jihyun is still in choir–even though Jumin quit at the beginning of the year because his voice was getting too low.

"No, come in." He says. Jihyun smiles and shuts the door behind him, shuffling over to Jumin's desk. The Han staff already know to let Jihyun in because he is Jumin's most cherished friend.

In fact, he's willing to bet that his driver was the one who brought Jihyun to the building in the first place. They appreciate him that much.

"How was practice?" asks Jumin conversationally, scooting his chair over to make room for Jihyun who sets another one down beside him.

"Oh, ha... The instructor wanted me to have a solo part for the Christmas concert." Jihyun laments, removing his books from his bag. "But I said no."

Jumin's pen stills. Why didn't he want the solo? When they were still in their church's choir together, the two of them would compete for the most amount of solos. Was it just age that soured that?

"Let's work on the algebra first. We can start the chemistry later." says Jumin, moving from the topic. "I was about to finish page twelve." He glances over at Jihyun's stack of books and then does a double take. "Is that—?"

Jihyun follows his line of sight and grimaces. "The girls in our homeroom class gave it to me. It's a magazine about... romance, I guess. I haven't read it."

"I know." says Jumin, procuring the identical magazine from his own pile. "They gave me one as well when I told them I don't care for it." It was more like they had gasped in outrage and forced him to take it, but whatever.

Jumin doesn't appreciate being touched by people he barely knows. It was easier to simply take the magazine than to deal with girls putting their hands all over him.

Jihyun laughs, covering his mouth with one hand. He flips through the magazine to the article that was advertised on the cover. "First kisses... I don't get it."

"Yes, I agree." scoffs Jumin. "The simple act of touching lips cannot possibly be so important."

His friend looks over at him and chuckles again, this time a little softer and shakes his head. "No, no, I know why kisses are special but I don't see why everyone is in such a rush."

Jumin has overheard conversations from his peers where they gasp in surprise if someone says they've never been kissed before.

This was only middle school. What was the rush to grow up and deal with something like romance so quick?

They won't be able to carry on doing homework now that they're both consumed with this topic.

Jumin pushes his books aside. "Should we try?"

Jihyun's brows furrow, "Try...?"

"Kissing." He says.

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have said it quite so bluntly. Jihyun looks petrified–at least for a moment before a thoughtful look crosses his face.

"You can say no." Jumin deadpans, hoping to salvage the situation.

"No, I want to." says Jihyun, a bit unexpectedly. "Let's try it."

Jumin didn't foresee his friend being this excited over it but he intends to follow through. He shifts his body towards him and waits expectantly for Jihyun to stop fidgeting.

Finally comfortable, or at least satisfied, Jihyun screws his eyes shut and nods, "I'm ready."

The room falls quiet and Jumin feels uncharacteristic nervousness creep into his veins. He feels almost hesitant to be doing this although the logical part of his brain keeps reminding him that he shouldn't be.

A kiss was just an action with societal connotations that varied based on culture and context. It didn't have to mean anything. There was no reason to be nervous—

Jumin leans forward and brushes his lips against Jihyun's before he can run himself into the ground overthinking.

It lasts one, two, three seconds and then Jihyun jolts and pulls back, opening his eyes in disbelief.

Another awkward silence settles in the air as they stare at one another in the aftermath of what they'd just done. Jumin is almost fearful to broach the subject and he's even more fearful of changing topics.

He doesn't know what to do for once. Not one idea.

“I didn't feel any butterflies.” Jihyun says crossly, glancing over at the magazine opened on the desk. “What about you?”

Was that what the churning in Jumin's stomach was? He swallows harshly and averts his gaze. “No.”

“Hm… Okay, let's go back to algebra.” says Jihyun with a shrug. With just that sentence, Jihyun puts the incident at rest and with just that sentence, Jumin's anxiety grows tenfold.

His stomach curls and twists inside of him like a hoard of tiny butterflies begging to be released. Still, he doesn't tell Jihyun.

3.

Jumin thinks that high school parties are lame although he isn't sure if he hates them more than business parties thrown by his father's friends. It might just be an equal split.

Well, maybe not. At least he can learn something from business parties. The event that he is currently partaking in is anything but educational.

“Haewon, truth or dare!?”

Jumin takes a sip of his coke and grimaces when the girls on his left side titter with laughter, cooing at their friend whose turn it was at this less than stimulating game.

He has no idea what it is about Truth or Dare that makes people so damn invigorated. What's more, he has no idea how he let himself get wrapped up in it.

Without Jihyun here, his impulse control seems to falter. They've been spending way too much time together.

Sun Haewon, the girl directly in front of him, looks down with a fierce blush, fidgeting with her hands in her lap as she struggles to choose one of the limited options. “T-Truth.” She says after a moment.

Jumin takes a moment to look around the room where, just as it had been a few moments ago, it is still missing Jihyun. He said that he was coming, but that had been almost an hour ago. Jumin checks his watch and resists the urge to frown.

“Do you have a crush on someone?” asks one of the girls as the rest of the posse shrieks with delight.

He isn't the only guy playing right now but he's probably the only guy sitting here without a motive for playing. The other boys in the circle seem antsy with barely contained anticipation.

Haewon squeaks, cheeks tomato red. “Yeah, I… like someone.” She looks up and meets Jumin's eyes, instantly looking down again as her friends squeal with joy.

Ugh. Girls. Why was she looking at him like that, stealing little glances like it was some sort of illicit activity? Jumin doesn't understand girls.

The game continues. Two more stupid dares and another subpar truth later, it's finally Jumin's turn.

He looks around at the few people who'd be choosing his fate and blinks calmly. Over the din of the music, he calls, “Dare.”

It's definitely the atmosphere of the party causing him to choose an option that he wouldn't normally entertain. That or the strange-tasting coke which might've been spiked with liquor.

The boys frown and turn conspiratorially towards the girls. They start some sort of heated discussion while Jumin begins to wonder if this was a good idea.

He glances over at the entrance to the door.

No Jihyun yet.

Jumin sighs. He chose this spot so that he would be able to see his friend come in but to no avail…

“Okay! Jumin, we dare you to…” One of the girls start, “Kiss anyone at the party.”

That was remarkably boring. They could've had him do just about anything in existence; strip down to his boxers and do a dance, prank call the Korean embassy, anything.

The creativity in this room was a zero.

“Alright.” He says and looks around. Jumin gets on well enough with people in his classes but kissing them was another issue.

Who would want to kiss him? His eyes accidentally meet with Haewon who jolts and looks away, cheeks beet red (but what else is new?)

Why was she looking at him? Weird.

By chance, his eyes gloss over to the door and his shoulders slump with relief. Jihyun is finally here, making polite conversation with someone at the doorway. Finally, he could leave.

Jumin stands up and makes his way towards his friend. Jihyun is dressed down in a grey sweater and he has a name tag still pinned to the front of it. He was definitely visiting his mother at her group home.

His ire at having been left alone diminishes. “Jihyun.” He says.

“Oh, Jumin.” smiles his friend. “I'm sorry for taking so long. I was—”

“It's fine.” He interjects, “I need a favour.”

“You–?” Jihyun pauses, confusion filtering across his face. “What is it?”

Jumin could and probably should explain it. Jihyun would completely understand and he'd be more than a little accommodating. But Jumin lacks sensibility and he hates losing even more and just the idea of losing a game like Truth or Dare makes anger bubble up inside of him.

He surges forward, cups Jihyun's jaw with both his hands and kisses him. From his peripherals, he sees the people he'd been playing with gasp and start hooting. When someone else actually starts whistling, Jumin remembers where they are and pulls back.

“I–? Jumin?” Jihyun's voice is higher pitched than normal and his expression of utter bewilderment says it all.

Jumin runs a hand through his hair and gestures to the people still assembled in a circle. “It was for a dare.”

“Oh…” There is a beat of silence. “Okay.”

Jumin won this game, as far as he is concerned. That means he can leave this party with a sense of accomplishment and his head held high. “Let's go.” He says to Jihyun, slinging on his jacket.

Really, he shouldn't have done that. Not with Jihyun at least, who was also the counterpart of his first kiss. And he should have gotten his consent for it too.

Now he feels like an asshole.

When he turns to look at Jihyun, he sees that his friend is more or less unfazed, walking beside him down the hall like it had never really happened.

He wants to apologize but if it didn't really bother Jihyun, maybe there was no point.

“You made your driver wait?” asks Jihyun as they approach Jumin's limo. “How long have you been at that party?”

“Too long.” murmurs Jumin as he climbs into the vehicle. “How was the meeting with your mother?”

Jihyun's mint eyes brighten as he climbs in after Jumin, shutting the door as he begins to recount his retelling of the day's events.

Jumin decides to blame the uncomfortable sensation in his stomach to the alcohol-laced coke he'd been nursing. But he knows the truth, deep down inside of him.

It doesn't matter. It was just a kiss. It didn't have to mean anything.

4.

College. Freshman year.

It was more or less expected of Jumin to go abroad and study business at a prestigious school–all part of succeeding the Han family tree.

What wasn't expected was for Jihyun to come with him. It made things easier but it also made things much harder.

England… changed him. It changed them both, really, in the short while they've been here but it changed Jihyun the most.

For one thing, he was no longer Jihyun.

Now he goes by V.

They're only nineteen and hundreds of miles from home and the photography degree Jihyun—V, god that was going to take some getting used to—is pursuing has earned him a handful of new artsy friends.

Jihyun might be handling this abroad thing better than him because Jumin has friends but he doesn't have friends.

He has V, though. That won't change.

“Juminnnn.” trills a blonde girl beside him. She nudges him with her foot, “Drink some wine with us. You have wine in Korea, right?”

Whether it was girls in middle school or high school or college, Jumin would never be anything but annoyed. He sighs. “Yes. We have wine.”

“Oh, good.” She says. “I heard you guys had sake.”

“That's Japan.” hisses another girl.

“Oh, oops.” The blonde in question fills his glass and smiles boldly. “Merry Christmas!”

Jumin takes a sip of the beverage and frowns. There's a few days left until Christmas but Jumin's exams have just ended for the semester.

He would have loved to fly home for the upcoming winter break, but V wanted to stay so Jumin was going to stay too. They were a package deal.

V's barely noticeable undercut was a good look on him, Jumin observed after nursing his glass for a bit. He hadn't changed his hair colour but the slight difference in hair style complimented his features nicely.

“Jumin, can you say something in South Korean?” asks a brunette who is much more drunk than she reasonably should be.

Even if he were to tell her that South Korean was not a language, it would probably go over her head due to how smashed she is. “Like what?” He inquires, staring at V in hopes of garnering a response.

(It doesn't work. V is way too immersed in his conversation with the artsy boy in the jean jacket.)

“Like, uh…” She furrows her brows. “Teach us a curse word.”

The blonde beside her nods excitedly and leans forward, the wine in her glass sloshing to the rim.

Jumin shrinks back, not interested in getting his shoes soaked in red wine. He contemplates what he should teach these girls as he glances at V again.

He's laughing now, hand poised over his mouth as his eyes crinkle up in pleasure. Ugh. He's having way too much fun while Jumin is suffering.

Jumin gives up and teaches them the word for meatball, telling them that it means something way more profane. The group of girls repeat the word a few times, as if scandalized, batting their eyelashes at him.

In the least narcissistic way possible, girls like Jumin way too much. It's probably because he has a trust fund but there are other factors to be considered as well.

The girls clamber towards him, asking him to teach them more words, and Jumin feels his patience dwindle rapidly.

He looks over at V, one last time, and manages to catch his gaze. His friend looks surprised for a moment before he smiles and says something to his friends, shrugging his jacket back on.

Oh, thank god. Jumin stands up, placing his empty wine glass on the table and curtly excuses himself before the girls can protest.

“Sorry.” says V, “You looked so uncomfortable. I didn't realize…”

“That's… fine.” Jumin replies. He has no intention of nagging his friend about this. “Let's go now.”

After another round of parting remarks, V heads to the door with Jumin. The two of them freeze when the occupants of the otherwise chill party begin cheering loudly.

He turns around and gives them an inquisitive look, noticing that they're staring at something above him. Jumin looks up at the same time that V does and spots a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorframe.

“You have to do it!” yells one of V's friends toting an entire tattoo sleeve on one arm.

“It's part of the rules.” adds the blonde girl who Jumin had been sitting with.

He looks over at V who appears mortified, cheeks and ears ten shades redder than they should be. Jumin is immensely tired and he just wants to spend what remains of his holiday with V.

So, Jumin does the only logical thing he can think of—he kisses V.

His hand cups the back of V's neck, fingers skimming over his undercut which he admits has fascinated him for a while. Maybe this was just an excuse to touch it.

V doesn't do anything, too stunned to react.

Noting that the room has gone a bit quiet, Jumin breaks from the kiss and takes a step away from V. He fixes the sleeve of his shirt as he says, “Merry Christmas. Goodbye.”

He starts walking because he knows if he turns back around, someone will say something. Maybe someone will manage to voice the thoughts that Jumin has been keeping at bay since he was twelve. He doesn't want to listen to it. He can't.

He hears the patter of footsteps behind him and realizes with a wince that he'd completely left V in the aftermath of that mistletoe disaster.

“Let's get dinner.” Jumin declares, glad for the winter air chilling his very warm face. “I know a place.”

“Sure.” says V, reclaiming his place at Jumin's side. He touches his undercut, uncertainty in his expression. “Are you okay?”

His stomach is twisting itself into knots, like a beast begging to be let out. How long is he supposed to keep this up?

He's not okay. Not even a little bit.

Jumin thinks he might like men. Worse than that, he thinks he might like V.

“Yes.” He answers. “I’m fine.”

5.

His last few days of university went by like a blur—his graduation day, even more so.

Jumin could barely recall the moment he'd walked across the stage in the billowing robe to receive his diploma but the fact that it was in his hands was proof enough. These past few years had flown by.

The ceremony was finished and the last remaining dredges of the afternoon were slipping by, too quickly for Jumin's liking.

He'd been congratulated by so many people, patted on the shoulder so many times. His father had even come to see him (along with several bodyguards).

It was time to get going. After graduation, he had to return to Seoul for the rest of his life to begin. He'd take over a portion of C&R and then his life would finally have order.

Having parted from his father about half an hour ago, Jumin's legs carry him to the courtyard where the bright summer day casts a radiant glow on the grass.

His hope was for the walk to clear his head but then he spots V up ahead, being congratulated by a small group of his friends who wave and then prance off.

He hasn't said much to him today besides congratulations of his own, but V makes his heart both calm and erratic.

“V.” He says and his friend glances up at the call of his name, shoulders relaxing when he sees that it is Jumin.

“Hey.” He smiles, and Jumin notices a camera in his hands. “I was just taking some pictures… I'm going to miss this place.”

Jumin looks around, “We only came here once.”

“I meant the university.” clarifies V, “We have so many great memories… The lecture halls, our dorm… I feel sad to leave it.”

To a lesser extent, Jumin can understand how he feels. There are certain memories of school that he will remember forever and some which make him embarrassed beyond belief.

“We get to return home now, though.” Jumin says pointedly. He's missed South Korea dearly during his stay abroad. Just seeing his father today was enough to remind him of the home that he'd been away from.

V looks away, a guilty look passing across his face. “Jumin, I'm… actually not going back to Korea.”

A pit settled in Jumin's gut. His brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

“There’s so much out there in the world to see. I can't go home without experiencing more.” He admits, looking at the camera fondly. “I'll come back… but not this year.”

Jumin felt empty. He hadn't known that V had been thinking about backpacking across the world, living an exhilarating life, leaving him… It felt worse that V had never confided in him about his plans until now. Until it was too late.

“You know, if you wanted to…” V looks up at him, expression soft and almost hopeful. “You could come with me.”

He tries to imagine it; backpacking through Europe with V at his side, living life on the edge, good food, good company, new experiences. It's a far-off dream that Jumin cannot entertain because he knows if he wants too much, everything will backfire in his face.

“I can't.” He says and leaves it at that. He can't disappoint his father.

If V is dejected by this, he doesn't show it. Instead, he lifts the camera and turns it around so that the lens is facing him and Jumin. “One more picture before we leave?”

He nods. Jumin schools his expression and waits for the camera to go off.

V suddenly frowns, adjusting the camera in hand, “Hm… can you move in a little?”

Jumin inches closer to V, close enough that their cheeks are nearly touching, and this is the closest he'll ever willingly get to someone else but V is special so he doesn't mind.

He stares into the lens, waiting for the click. This picture has to be perfect because it will be the last that they will take in a very long time.

Jumin turns towards V and he doesn't know why but his heart is pounding in his chest.

As if sensing his eyes on him, V turns his head but the distance between them is too little and Jumin greatly misjudged what would happen now and—Their lips meet.

It's an awkward half-kiss, barely on the corner of his mouth, but it counts.

Jumin jerks back, though not before the camera can make its clicking noise, having already snapped the photo of them in one of their least proudest moments.

“Sorry.” says V, whose ears have gone red. He coughs. “Let's just… try that again.”

This time, they take the picture right. Jumin tries to smile but it falls flat of hiding what he feels internally.

“Have a safe trip home.” says V, clapping him on the shoulder. “I'll be sending you photos. Keep watching your email.”

Jumin nods automatically. Part of him is still lamenting his decision to decline V's offer, the other half is telling him that it isn't too late.

“Be safe.” Jumin says, “Come back to Seoul in one piece.”

V chuckles, “I will. I promise.”

There are so many more things that Jumin wants to say. He wants to go with him, so bad. He doesn't want to leave V's side.

But he can't bring himself to say any of it. So he turns and walks away.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To: Jumin Han
From: Jihyun Kim
Subject: good news

Hey Jumin, thank you for coming to my art show the other day. I'd love to hear what you thought of it. Let's get coffee soon ^^

I have good news too. There was a girl who came to my show a few times and I finally managed to talk to her. She's an interesting person, the way she looks at the world haha. Her name is Rika... I want to ask her on a date. maybe one day I can introduce you to her :)

Your friend, V

This isn't how things were supposed to go.

If only he had been upfront with him. If only he'd told V the truth. Rejection was worse than never knowing what could have been.

To: Jihyun Kim
From: Jumin Han
Subject: re: good news

I love you.

He never clicks send.

+1

As a businessman, Jumin sees the numbers associated with something before he sees the item itself. It is both a blessing and a curse. Sentiment is lost when he is involved.

Jumin is a businessman which is why he can admit that V's house by the sea is prime real estate.

There were no neighbours, no cars, no smog. He would never have thought to build a home here but V's eye for design was ever-perceptive.

He inhales the lingering smell of salt that persists through the house and realizes that a window is opened somewhere because he can hear the crashing of waves against the rocks below the cliff. The sound is both relaxing and daunting.

It must be nerve-wracking to live by the sea when monsoon season comes around.

Against his better judgement, Jumin stares at the photo frames that litter the coffee table in front of him. How could V stand to have these little reminders of Rika everywhere he looked? It feels invasive, sitting here and staring at something that he shouldn't.

Reluctantly, Jumin tears his gaze away and focuses on the quiet man sitting in front of him. “How are you?”

It feels foreign to say those words to someone who he's known for so long. V is no stranger, he isn't an acquaintance who visits every now and again—he is Jumin's best friend. He should know how he is doing, especially during times like this.

“I'm okay.” says V, and Jumin is struck by the overwhelming urge to protest that. V just lost his fiancée a few short months ago. He shouldn't be feeling okay when something so horrendous has happened.

The distance between them feels like a mile. If Jumin so pleased, he could reach out and touch V's hand.

“It's been a long time since you were here.” begins V.

Guilt turns his body tense. It's his fault for never having the time to come and see V. During the last few months, he's met with him enough to count on one hand.

“I'm sorry.” Jumin says and he means it. He can't manage anything better.

He has never seen his friend look so haggard, like the weight of the universe was on his shoulders when it absolutely should not be. His face is gaunt, cheekbones sallow. The way his shirt fits him leads Jumin to believe that he's lost a substantial amount of weight…

He doesn't know what to say.

If this was any other person, perhaps Jumin would even be put off by the fact that V is wearing sunglasses in his own house.

Less of a fashion choice and more of a suspicious action, Jumin knows that V is hiding something.

That would explain why his best friend has not looked him in the eyes once.

Something is wrong.

Needling V into spilling his guts would do more harm than good but Jumin is out of options. “How are you?”

“You just asked me that.” V says, raising a brow weakly. “Come on, Jumin. Your memory can't be that bad.”

“I was just giving you the opportunity to change your answer.”

V frowns at this. “I feel fine, though. Really, I'm–”

“Jihyun.”

Silence settles between them again, heavy and unforgiving.

Jumin's nerves felt like they were going to burst from his veins, fizzling out after that bold move.

Instead of saying another word, V removes his sunglasses, setting them down on the coffee table beside the photographer of Rika.

An apology is on the edge of Jumin's tongue but it dies in his throat as soon as his eyes properly meet V's and he sees—

“What happened to your eyes?” He asks but his voice is like the ghost of a whisper, so quiet even he did not realize he had said it.

V opens his mouth to say something but a stuttered sob halts him in place. Before he even realizes what he is doing, Jumin moves from his chair so that he can be beside V.

His hands find his shoulders and he takes a deep breath. “V, tell me what's wrong.”

He should be calling him Jihyun, as he has done for two decades of his life. Jumin has no idea why he's switching between the two names like that.

“I can barely see, Jumin.” He manages between gasps, the grief in his voice palpable.

What happened during the last few months? What went wrong to cause V to steadily lose his vision like this? That eye wound was very obviously the result of something physical.

“Tell me everything.” He says seriously, wrapping his hands around V's wrists.

He'll get to the bottom of this one way or the other. He won't let V suffer alone anymore.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

— ZEN has entered the chatroom —

ZEN:
Just got back from my run
How is V??

707:
No news yet……

Jaehee Kang:
Mr. Han hasn't responded to any of my calls.

707:
Kind of messed up how we found out about Rika, huh

ZEN:
Yea… I can't believe he hid it for so long.

Yoosung★:
Even though we only have V's word to go on abt it

707:
You were so quiet I thought you left.
I don't think he'd lie about something like that, Yoosung lol

Yoosung★:
I know that but it's still kind of shocking.
Rika was so kind. I never thought she would hurt V

ZEN:
Oi.
Let's just think positively

707:
ya!!!!
When the surgery works, V can take photos again

Jaehee Kang:
Every time he tried to use his camera, Mr. Han would take it away ^^;;;;;

707:
Lol, theyre so cute together

Yoosung★:
???????
What do you mean together?

— Jumin Han has entered the chatroom—

Jumin Han:
You are all very loud.

Jaehee Kang:
How is V doing?

Jumin Han:
Still in the doctor's office.

707:
Gaahhhh, the suspense >w<

ZEN:
He already did the surgery, you know…
He's just getting the bandages off

Jumin Han:
My C&R doctors are very capable.
I have no doubt that they
Oh
A nurse just came out.
Excuse me.

707:
Wait!!!!!!!!

— Jumin Han has left the chatroom —

“Mr. Han?” says the female nurse in a gentle voice as she approaches him cautiously. He gets to his feet immediately, tucking his phone into the pocket of his suit. “You can come in now.”

Her disposition and tone of voice tells Jumin that everything is just fine. It has to be. He allows his shoulders to relax by a fraction. They stiffen again when he realizes he will need to find something to say.

The corridor is littered with nurses who part and bow at him when he passes. The courtesy is appreciated but Jumin's head is swimming with so many thoughts that he completely misses it. The nurse stops in front of the door with the nameplate “Dr. Yi” whom Jumin knows quite well.

He knows everything about this doctor in particular; where he got his degrees, his license to practice, how long he'd been a doctor, why he was a doctor.

He knows everything about Dr. Yi because he led V's surgery. Jumin had only wanted the best for V and that included a thorough search for the best doctor available from the C&R group.

V is seated atop the examination table when they enter the room, legs dangling off the edge as he chats pleasantly with the doctor.

His bandages are off.

Jumin hasn't seen his eyes in months. All the words he could possibly say escape him, just like that.

“Mr. Han, good morning.” says Dr. Yi, “Mr. Kim has made a remarkable recovery.”

“Thanks to you.” says V bashfully. Is he talking about Jumin or the doctor?

Tentatively, V looks up and his eyes connect with Jumin's. The surge of electricity that runs up Jumin's spine is anything but ordinary. He doesn't know what to do with himself so he turns away from V and looks at the doctor.

“So everything is alright?” He manages, “No complications?”

“None. Mr. Kim's eyes are fully functional again. He should stay out of direct sunlight for the rest of the week as a precaution but otherwise, everything is perfect.”

For the first time in a long while, Jumin feels he might cry. V without his eyesight was a V that he could not begin to imagine, especially when he has such a unique view of the world.

But he was going to be just fine. V could see. Jumin bows low at the waist, probably lower than he ever has in his entire life.

“Thank you.” He says. “Thank you very much.”

He can hear both Dr. Yi and the nurse gasp in astonishment. It was not often that Jumin Han put himself in this position—to be so greatly indebted to someone that he would bow like this.

But V is his most precious friend; he would lower himself to the ground for him, pride be damned.

Jumin raises his head as the doctor stands up from his chair, wheeling it back to his desk. “You have a very kind friend, Mr. Kim.” He says, speaking to V with a knowing look. “Please continue to take care of one another.”

“Of course.” replies V with a smile. “Thank you for everything.”

Dr. Yi nods, “I have another patient to consult with so I'll be taking my leave now. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Forgive my meddling but I think–if I'm right–that you two make a lovely couple.” says the nurse before she too leaves the room, pausing only to close the door behind her.

Left in the wake of whatever that was, Jumin huffs and fidgets with the cufflinks on his suit, suddenly all too aware of where he is. “A couple…”

V chuckles. “Is Jaehee outside?”

“No. She stayed behind at the office.” At his request, of course. She'd actually asked to come along with Jumin but due to the nerves currently plaguing him, he'd refused.

“Ah.” V nods, “I'm sorry, you probably want to go back. Let me get my jacket.”

“Wait. I'll do it.” says Jumin before he can help himself. He reaches for V's tawny coat folded on top of a chair and lifts his eyes, accidentally making contact with V again.

“Jumin, my legs weren't broken.” chuckles V, “You don't need to worry about me that much.”

He hands V his jacket anyways.

He's only acting weird because V's gaze is unnerving. For the past month since getting his surgery and wearing the bandages so that it could heal, Jumin had been unabashedly stealing looks at V.

Now that the bandages were off, he could no longer do it quite so openly. Now, he had to be honest with himself.

V slips his jacket on and cocks his head to the side, “Ready to go?”

Heart drumming up a rhythm in his chest, Jumin swallows his nerves and reaches forward to V's collar. “Wait a moment. It's crooked.” He states, hoping that it could be a coherent enough excuse to explain his actions.

(It probably isn't.)

“Thank you.” says V, his voice quieter than before.

Jumin isn't looking at V because he doesn't know what he'll do if he does. He knows that V is watching him, though, because he feels the heat of his gaze on him.

It frustrates him how he cannot put his feelings into words and act on them.

“Jumin.”

He tenses up when he feels V gingerly touch his wrists. Jumin's eyes flicker to his face and his heart sinks when he sees the dour look on his face.

“I… had a dream last night. Well, it was probably closer to a memory.” He starts, “From when we were in elementary school. Do you remember that?”

“Vaguely.” Jumin responds. Specific details were hazy but he certainly remembers playing with V through their younger years.

“Haha, I figured as much.” He exhales a laugh, “I remember that someone had made up a rumour about me regarding your family... and although you knew it was a lie, you wanted to help me get revenge.” A fond look passes through his gaze. “It was a bit misconstrued but I suppose it seemed right at the time.”

“What did I do?” asks Jumin.

“You kissed me.” He answers, “That was the first time.”

Jumin had… forgotten about that until now. The memory is hazy but it's there. That had all been happening during his father's divorce from his mother, a time when Jumin was too impressionable to know that kisses were supposed to be associated with positive emotion.

“So that was the first.” He snorts, “Perhaps the nurse was right. We've managed to kiss enough times to constitute a marriage.”

V laughs. “Hm… I've lost count.”

“Five.” says Jumin, his mind racing through the various incidents of their past. “Five times.”

“No.” says V, releasing his wrists. “It's something like six times.”

His brows furrow, “No, I counted to be completely sure. It was definitely five t—”

And just like that, V steps forward, cups Jumin's jaw in his hands, and kisses him before he can finish his sentence.

Two decades of pining, of not knowing, of being terrified of his own feelings dissipate as Jumin registers the feeling of V's lips on his.

He'll be damned if he lets the only thing he's ever wanted in his life slip away.

“Six.” He whispers when they part, “You were right, Jihyun.”

V, no, Jihyun, laughs and Jumin feels his entire world light up like dawn washing over the day.

There is nowhere else that Jumin would rather be than right here with Jihyun.