Work Text:
Frank was laying on the hospital bed, his back turned to the open window, looking at Gerard's chest moving as he was breathing, when he started tracing the tiny scars the needles had left on Gerard's right arm, where the IV was attached.
It was awful, seeing as he was absolutely terrified of needles. He probably didn't care anymore, though, he was used to it by now.
In the last few days, Gerard had been too weak to eat, too weak to move, even; the only thing he could do was sleep, and sometimes talk with Frank.
It was his fourth week in the hospital, and he kept getting worse and worse as time passed.
When he was first admitted in the ward, he could still walk, and he liked to spend his time with Frank in the common room or in the garden, listening to him playing the guitar and sometimes even singing with him, but now he barely had the strength to sit up.
When Gerard opened his eyes, Frank started caressing his cheek with his thumb and asked "How are you feeling, Gee?".
The other boy whispered hoarsely "Cold" and started shivering.
Frank nodded and got up from the bed, closing the window even though it was the middle of summer.
Gerard felt cold all the time, probably because he was getting worse.
The doctor said he was terminal, and that he didn't have much time left, but Frank still couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that his boyfriend was dying. It was bullshit, okay? Gerard was going to survive this, they would go through this together and they would be able to spend their normal, healthy lives together. Fuck what the doctor said.
Gerard tried and failed to sit up, his arms too weak to support him, and fell back on the bed, groaning.
"I'm so fucking pathetic.." he sighed, covering his face with his right arm and almost tearing the IV off.
Frank got to his side and slowly grabbed his arm, careful not to hurt him, pressing his lips to Gerard's sweat-drenched forehead.
He looked even paler than usual, with purple bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for weeks, but he had actually slept for most of the time lately.
Frank felt like shit, seeing how bad his boyfriend looked like. It made it really hard not to believe what the doctor said.
"No you're not, babe", he murmured, sitting on the bed and dragging Gerard in his lap, cradling him like a baby.
"Can you sing, for me?" asked Gerard in a soft voice, burying his face in the crook of Frank's neck, inhaling his smell.
He wanted to spend every single minute he had left with Frankie, he wanted to memorize all the details about the boy he loved, since he was sure he didn't have much time anymore. It was about to be over.
"Of course" answered Frank, stroking Gerard's hair with his right hand, trying to disentangle what was left of the long raven locks. He was now missing several strands of hair, but to Frank he was still beautiful.
Fuck it. He didn't care that cancer had took all of Gerard's beauty, to him, he was still perfect. He didn't care that the once chubby hips now looked sharp because the hipbones stood out; he didn't care that the once bright hazel eyes now looked sad and empty, and that the once beautiful rosy cheeks were now sunken and pale. He loved Gerard, no matter what.
He started singing the words of the first song that came to his mind, still caressing Gerard's head.
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Gerard started singing along, barely whispering the words he knew all too well.
He had written this song when he first found out that he was sick, and Frank had helped him write the music, so it was even more special than any other song, because they had written it together. It was THEIR song.
Frank was not allowed to bring his guitar, not in this ward, but it was okay. Even just hearing his voice was enough for Gerard.
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
By this point, Gerard was starting to close his eyes, his breaths becoming slower and slower, his words so soft that Frank could barely hear them.
It felt as if he was just falling asleep, but Frank knew that he wasn't. It was something far worse.
He kissed his boyfriend's lips before singing the last few verses.
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
By the time Frank finished singing the song, he noticed that his face was wet.
But when did he start crying? He didn't even realize he had.
Gerard was still in his lap, his head resting on Frank's chest and his soft hair tickling Frank's chin.
He was no longer singing. In fact, he was completely still.
The high pitched sound of the machine next to the bed filled the quiet room.
Frank held him close and started sobbing, rocking back and forth, as if he were lulling his lover to sleep.
The only problem was that Gerard would never wake up.