Work Text:
You hummed as you tended to some flowers on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. To the left of you Chopper was peacefully swinging while Robin sat in a chair to the side reading a book. Behind Chopper, a lone arm was pushing him as he giggled in happiness. You smiled at the lovely sight. Peaceful days like this were rare and you had to enjoy every second of it until the Strawhat crew was thrown into another round of chaos.
Turning your attention back to your daisies, a warm breeze blew across your skin. You sighed content as you pulled weeds from the small patch. Franky had been kind enough to make you a little plot of land where you could tend to any flowers you wished. You had chosen daisies because they had always been your favorite.
As the minutes passed the rays of sunlight beat heavily on your back. With a huff, you sat back onto your heels and looked around to check on everyone. Havin grown tired of the swing, Chopper was now constantly curled into Robins lap as she read on. A little bit always from your garden, Zoro was snoring away with a bottle of some alcohol or another in his lap. Luffy and Usopp were up to something.. You couldn't see what but you did see some paint, paper and a bunch of... you couldn't actually tell what those were. Nami was om the upper deck soaking in the sun. She was clad in only a bikini and that made you wilt with envy. Sanji was no doubt in the kitchen preparing some delicious meal and Franky in his workshop tinkering away.
The thought of the blond chef made your cheeks turn rosy. Ever since you joined the crew you had a deep crush on Sanji. Shaking your head to rid your thoughts of him, you go back to pulling weeds vigorously. You couldn't let yourself think like that. Not of him. You knew you'd never be enough for him. You weren't a beauty like Nami or Robin. You were just you. Plain old you. Boring brown hair, boring brown eyes, pasty pale skin. Your body was less than desirable. Chubby with stretch marks and scars everywhere. You thought the whole "find someone who likes your personality" thing was utter bullshit. The man you loved clearly loved girls with slim figures and nice perky boobs. Due to your weight and genetics, yours were anything but perky and your shape made it hard to find flattering clothes.
You felt something trickle down your face. At first you thought you were just swearing but you soon realized it was tears. Tears from the realisation that you'd never be desirable or loved. You'd never be enough. You kept your head bent and dig your hands into your thighs. You didn't want the others to see you like this; you wouldn't be able to explain why you were cryin and if you did, they'd only say the same things.
"You are pretty, stop worrying about it!"
"You aren't worthless!"
"Just keep your head up, you'll find someone!"
Lies. You knew they were nothing but lies. As more tears trickled down your face the kitchen door swung open. Out came Sanji carrying a tray of drinks. You turned away as he passed you and went up to give Man I hers first. He did the whole "Nami-swan~!!" thing and you gave out a tiny sob at hearing it. Then he danced over to Robin and gushed to her. She, as usually, politely took the drink and complimented it.
Then, he went over to you. You knew he had just made yours out of politeness. It wouldn't be fair if he only made the two other girls drinks and left you out. You made yourself look busy and too involved in your work when you heard his footsteps come closer to you.
"Y/N-chaaan! I brought a refreshing drink for you!" Sanji all but sang.
You fought to keep your voice under control and keep the fact that you were crying hidden, "Thanks, Sanji. You can just set I down right there," you gestured in a vague direction and kept pulling at the weeds. To your relief, your voice had only cracked the tiniest bit, but enough to catch the ear od a certain archaeologist.
Sanji did as he was told and went along his way back to the kitchen. Deciding that you were done, you took your gloves off and walked off to somewhere private to calm down. A pair of blue, knowing eyes followed you as a hand absentmindedly stroked the small crew member on their lap.