Chapter 1: Darwin's Arrival
Chapter Text
Tommy remembers the day he left. He was 15. She was 12. They fought. It wasn't his best moment, and he always wondered if she still hated him. She had cried briefly in the beginning, and then at the end.
She lived next door, moved in with her parents after the old man before them passed. He remembers that too. It was his birthday, his mom made a cake for his brother and him. He didn't have a lot of friends, didn't have anyone to invite for whatever kind of party they might've tried. But his dad wasn't there, probably passed out at a bar or in some woman's house, so it would be a good day. And then there was a knock, and when his mom opened the door, he could see a tall, dark, disinterested man, a small kid nervously tapping their feet this way and that, and a chipper woman who greeted his mother with a smile and a homemade pie of some sort. And then his mother was inviting them in, explaining that it was his 13th birthday, that they were having a small private party for him, and then starting in - like all parents do - on how he has a hard time making friends, how he's a quiet kid, but good. They made their way into the living room where he and his brother sat watching a wrestling match on their small television.
His mother smiled at the two and cleared her throat, indicating that they should stand, as she introduced their new neighbors. Emily, the mother, Bernard, the father, and then the kid, who she introduced as Darwin. It took him a moment to figure out that she was in fact a girl. She wore a baggy black muscle tee and jeans, and her hair was cut short - but her nose was small and had a lift to it, and her eyes were round, and her lips were thick and pouty. The adults shifted into the kitchen to cut the pie and get drinks, and Darwin stayed behind, awkwardly shifting in the center of the room as the two older boys looked at her.
A moment passed between them, and then "what's with the name?"
He immediately received a light smack to the back of the head from his older brother, who gave him a disapproving look - and gave her an apology.
"It's fine" she mumbled, "I get it a lot. I know it's really a guys name mostly. They named me after the evolution guy, wanted a boy more." He stared at her for a moment, her voice was small and light, like she wasn't really talking, more like taking a long breath. He liked it. "Can i- can I sit with you guys? My mom likes to talk, she'll probably be a while with your mom..." She shifted uncomfortably on her feet as they both gazed quietly at her for a moment.
Tommy looked to his brother then, almost hopefully, waiting for him to make the decision, back when he still had a brother that he looked up to.
"Sure." Brendan nodded, scooting down the couch to make space between them, and just like that she slipped quietly into their lives, and then it was like she was always there.
She was a few years younger, but she was quiet and kind, and actually very funny sometimes, and when she jumped up two grades to be a freshman with him after summer, they all ended up at the same school, so they were always together. But Brendan was older, and he met a girl, and so he was there less and less after a few months, and he was home less too. But Tommy was only 3 years older, and occasionally in desperate need of her help with homework, and she saw what others didn't and she understood. He liked her.
And now, sitting on the bus, head against the window, Tommy thinks back again to the first time he saw her, and the last, and wonders what he regrets more, letting her in so easily or leaving her.
Chapter 2: The Ghosts
Notes:
This story is gonna deviate a lot from the movie just to be clear. A new character in their lives means a lot of things will be different than how it happened there so just be open to that.
Chapter Text
Tommy was haunted by ghosts.
His father, screaming. His mother, withering away. Brendan, abandoning him. His brothers, bombs raining down on them. And Darwin, carving her name into his heart.
The drinking helped to keep them at bay. But not tonight. Tonight, it almost feels like they're real. He moves restlessly in his sleep trying to fight them off.
"Is he drunk?" There she is.
"Are you drunk, Tommy?" Haunting him again. It's strange, but he finds himself leaning into it. It may be torture but the truth is he'd give anything to hear her voice again.
"...yeah." Paddy? He feels his chest tremble with a growl. He wasn't supposed to be here. It was just supposed to be her. Just her alone for a moment.
"You are." There. She was angry, but she was there.
"Oh, Tommy..." God, the things he'd do just to hear his name fall from her lips again.
"I was wrong." His body tenses in his sleep. No. Don't do that. Not yet. Wait.
"You are like your father."
He jerks awake suddenly, chest heaving, fists clenched, her name on the tip of his tongue. His eyes dart around, panic rising for a moment before he realizes where he is, the conversation with his father coming back to him hazily. He had been at the bottom of the bottle when he got to his childhood home last night, and what he had seen in blurry forms then now were clear before him.
Steadying his breathing, his eyes wander about the room, sober mind now registering details missed the night before. Very little had changed, aside from being cleaner than he ever remembered it. Slowly, he begins to pick out things that are new. A full-length mirror by the hall. The kitchen table repainted. Some framed art along the walls. Pictures of him and Brendan above the T.V. A pair of woman's heels by the door. A kids toy car and a single blue sneaker by it.
Despite his claims, it seemed that Paddy had moved on. How long had that taken?
Gripping the arms of the chair for a moment, Tommy shoved himself out of the chair and stumbled out the door, kicking over the heels as he did.
Tommy needed a drink, or a fight, or a fuck. Probably all three, but at this hour, the best he could do was to blow off some steam at the gym.
The fight at the gym hadn't been the best idea, he realized later. He was supposed to be looking to make money, not make a scene or a name for himself. But Tommy had never been good at controlling his anger, his impulses. And his willful need to protect his pride combined with that created situations he often regretted. He knows exactly where he got that from.
"You are like your father."
He shakes his head with a scowl, trying to push her out. He didn't need that shit right now. Maybe now was a good time to get that drink.
The last thing he expects to see at the bar is her. He's frozen at the door for what feels like a lifetime when he sees her. Because it's her but it's not her at the same time. The girl he knew was a skinny little stick, curly hair cut messy just under her ears, always drowning in clothes too big for her. The woman before him was someone else. Still small, probably couldn't even reach everything on the shelves of the bar, curly hair still messy but now reached almost to her shoulder, and wearing a dress that he's fairly sure was meant to be a shirt.
He's not sure if he wants to run to her or away from her until he hears the door behind him and his feet move forward instead of back. He rolls the toothpick in his mouth nervously back and forth until he finally sits at the bar. He doesn't call her over, knows he needs time to compose himself, but instead watches her move, more like glide, back and forth filling orders and flirting with the men at the bar.
Who was she now? He wondered. His Darwin had never been provocative, couldn't flirt if her life depended on it, but here she was before him providing all the right touches and laughs to make all the eyes at the bar follow her every move.
He watched then as she pouted at a man, playfully scolding him for a moment before turning to kick something out from beneath the bar. A small stool which she pushed with her foot over to the liquor-lined shelves behind her. He felt more than saw the way the eyes at the bar all shifted to stare at her intently. He realized why when she stepped onto the stool, and even with it, had to stretch up and onto her toes, the flimsy excuse for a dress riding up to reveal the underside of her ass.
Tommy's anger at the other men leering didn't stop him from doing it too, and his eyes trailed over her body hungrily for a moment until they reached her face, and realize that she's looking right at him. In his surprise, he accidentally snaps the toothpick in his mouth in half, and he quickly reaches up to pull it from his lips. He turns his eyes back down to the bar, still not sure he's ready for her. But it doesn't matter, because in seconds she's finished making the man's drink and has wandered over to stand before Tommy.
When she doesn't speak for a moment, he lets himself look up to meet her eye, but his eyes are quickly sidetracked by this new close-up chance to take her in. They follow the line of her hip to her chest, the deep v lace-up on the front of her dress showing off her freckles and the edges of her breasts. The sweet sweep of her collar bone, and elegant line of her neck, her small chin and plush lips. But there is something new to her face that he wasn't expecting, the thin white line of raised skin that runs from the edge of her cheek bone to just under the corner of her mouth. A scar.
His mind runs wild with questions, but they are all silenced when he finally meets her eyes. Wide, dark brown eyes full of knowing and understanding. At least those haven't changed.
They stare at one another for a long moment and her eyes seem to turn sad then as she slowly reaches out to gently touch his jaw.
"Oh Tommy," she whispers, because it's just for him, "Where've you been?"
Rosie020 on Chapter 1 Wed 12 Dec 2018 07:46PM UTC
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hrm083 on Chapter 2 Tue 17 Jan 2023 02:56AM UTC
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