Chapter Text
Real A/N: God bless the anon on Tumblr for sending me this prompt: concept: tomione time travel fic but with Tom's POV and written in the style of My Immortal. I'd give some sort of trigger warning, but just mentioning 'My Immortal' is trigger warning enough. Brace yourselves.
This story is written in the style of My Immortal, the famous, horrendously bad HP fanfic circa the early 2000s. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BAD. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. IT IS A CRACK FIC. I know I have never written a comedy before, but trust me...it's probably the funniest shit you will read in a while. I couldn't breathe while writing this, because I was laughing so god damn hard.
In no way is this fic supposed to be taken seriously. If this is the first story you have ever read by me, my other stories are nothing like this. This was written to make people laugh. I LOVE YOU!
AN: omg r u lyke, a prep or sumfink!?1 i mean like, u asked me so here u go i guess. MCR 4EVAAAAAA!1! They RoXxOrS my SoXxOrS! (get it, coz im goffik lolz)
Chapter One
Hi my name is Tom Riddle and i have luxurious dark hair the color of ebony (black like my soul, get it). I am in seventh year and I am seventeen years old. I am six feet one inch tall and my eyes are this dark grey color, like the perfect rainy day at a funeral. Everyone thinks that I'm this perfect PREP but really I am filled with self-loathing RAGE because i am DEAD on the inside, like Helena from that My Chemical Romance music video (and if you don't know who that is, then get out of here and don't let the door hit u on the way out!). So yeah, I guess you would say that I'm a GOTH, not a PREP (get it str8), but you know how society is. whatever. If you call me a prep, I will put my middle fingers up in the air in ur general direction.
"Hey Tom, did you just see that chick get sorted into Gryffindor in the middle of the school year?" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Abraxas Malfoy talking to me.
"No." I said. I continued eating my breakfast because my name is Tom Riddle and I don't give a fuXxOrs.