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For as long as he remembers, Jihoon hated Kang Daniel. Maybe it all started when the older boy had pushed him into the pool when they were in middle school. Maybe it was when Daniel had given him a peanut butter sandwich which had caused him to break out in hives and he had to miss out on Lotte World which his parents had been wanting to bring him to. Maybe it was when he had told the girl who had a crush on him that Jihoon has smelly feet.
Maybe it was when he had told Jihoon that he liked him.
Which had to be a lie, because all he had done was make him suffer.
In fact, they weren’t even friends. If they were a Venn Diagram, they were sets which existed completely exclusively of each other. If Kang Daniel was the sun, he was the moon – in a separate universe. Park Jihoon likes dogs, and Kang Daniel loves cats. Park Jihoon was reserved, and Kang Daniel was loved and known by all the ahjummas in their neighbourhood. Park Jihoon aces all his classes while Daniel keeps getting into trouble because of all the tests he was failing. The only thing they had in common was the poorly cemented road between their houses.
So when Daniel had moved away one summer before high school, the lorry making quite a ruckus at eight o’clock in the morning right in front of their house, Jihoon had never felt happier. He can finally go to school without having Daniel pretending he wasn’t following him from behind.
**
[09:58] Woojin: Where the hell are you??
[09:58] Woojin: Class is about to start????
[09:59] Woojin: It’s literally the first day????????
[10:03] Woojin: You’re going to get into trouble, I heard the TA is a tough one
Jihoon rolls his eyes as he reads the texts and shoves his phone back in his pocket. He checks the time and notices that, okay, yeah, maybe he was going to be five minutes late. He quickens his pace enough so that he won’t be later than that, but slow enough that he doesn’t tire himself. It was summer, and he was wearing a damn blazer.
He doesn’t understand boarding schools. He doesn’t understand why his parents had wanted to send him here of all places when he could be going to a completely average university. But of course they had to be overachievers and enrolled Jihoon into a summer boarding school in preparation for his college entrance exams.
Jihoon was lucky to find a great roommate, although he does fart one too many times. Not that it smells, but it was just… uncomfortable. Especially when they were gaming on Jihoon’s bed and a soft sound erupts from underneath the other boy. Despite it all, Woojin was fantastic and he was patient with Jihoon’s antics. In another lifetime, they were probably twins.
When he had finally reached the classroom, class had already started, and the TA stops talking as he steps into the room. The TA turns around, props an arm on the board, and sends a glare at Jihoon who was trying very discreetly to enter his seat.
“Someone’s late,” the TA announces, and Jihoon pretends to look around (even though half the class were already staring at him). He regrets everything.
“Meet me after class so I can brief you about my lesson plans for the term.”
And Jihoon had scooted further into his seat, making sure that the TA doesn’t pick on him to answer a question because he definitely wouldn’t be able to answer. He was too busy trying to hide from shame to concentrate. It’s already bad enough that he can feel the TA’s stare burning holes in him throughout the lesson.
It also doesn’t help that the TA was undeniably attractive in a way Jihoon would hate to admit to himself.
He was wearing a white shirt with a tie loosely draped over his neck, and sleeves rolled so that his muscular forearms were on display. And of course he was wearing a pair of black jeans which sits nicely on his long legs, tight enough to be casual, but not too tight that it screams fuckboy, although his fuchsia-dyed hair suggests otherwise. Jihoon rests his chin on his hands so that he was leaning forward in his seat. His phone buzzed, breaking him out of his thoughts, and he shoots Woojin a dirty look when he sees that it was a text from him.
[10:30] Woojin: are you checking out our TA
[10:30] Woojin: you’re ridiculous
[10:33] Jihoon: wtf I wasn’t
[10:33] Jihoon: he’s not even cute?? We’re enemies the moment he called me out
[10:34] Woojin: sure
[10:34] Woojin: if you leaned any further you’ll end up in his lap
[10:35] Woojin: although I’m sure you’d enjoy every second
“Ouch!” Woojin yelps when Jihoon pokes him with a pen. The TA turns to look at them and Woojin shoots him an apologetic look.
It was going to be a long lesson.
**
After class, Woojin had left Jihoon to talk to the TA, muttering about karma biting him in the ass.
“Mr…” the TA trails off as he scans the student list. “Park?”
“That’s me,” Jihoon says in a bored tone. “Listen, can we forget the whole thing happened, I promise I won’t do it again-”
“Park Jihoon?”
The tone in the TA’s voice went higher, as if he recognises him, and Jihoon stops talking as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“I had a feeling it was you," he says excitedly. "I’m Daniel! Kang Daniel? We were friends?”
Kang… Daniel?
This definitely-not-cute TA was the annoying Daniel he had sworn to be enemies with?
That Kang Daniel?
Holy shit.
“Holy shit,” Jihoon says, wincing at the eloquence of his words.
“I can’t believe I’m seeing you again,” Daniel exclaims, his eyes turning into small crescents, and Jihoon wants to flee.
Like, right now.
Because Kang Daniel was leaning against the table oh-so-casually, crossing his arms, his posture emphasizing his broad shoulders, and Jihoon swallows. The world is so unfair.
When he finally finds his tongue, the first words to come out of his lips were “I thought we had parted ways for good.”
Daniel’s face falls, and Jihoon remembers how much he hates how Daniel wears his emotions on his sleeves, and right now it was quite evident that the older boy was upset at Jihoon’s words.
Nice. You’re an asshole now.
But they were enemies, right? Kang Daniel hates Jihoon as much as Jihoon hates Daniel. So why does he feel guilty?
“I- I mean, I thought you moved away,” he offers lamely.
Daniel’s face lights up when he realizes that Jihoon hadn’t meant to insult him (a lie), and he says, “I did. I mean, we moved to Seoul. But I’m in my second year at Korea University. Thought I’d apply for a teaching assistant position during summer, and, well, here I am.”
Wow.
Where was the Kang Daniel who flunked all his tests?
Hell, where was the Kang Daniel he knew?
He must’ve been staring for too long because Daniel asks, “a surprise, huh? I know. My parents were really surprised, too. But I guess the move was a good decision. I studied like crazy in high school and aced the college entrance exams.”
“So, uh, how- how are you?”
Daniel’s question brings him back to the present, and he realizes that Daniel was asking about him. He asked how Jihoon was doing. Jihoon, his mortal enemy.
“I’m… great, yeah,” he says, stumbling over his words. “My parents sent me here so that I can ace my exams.”
“Although I’m sure you can get into the best university without having to do so.”
Why was he being so nice?
“You look- you look great, by the way.”
So do you, Jihoon wants to say back at him.
“Don't know why I doubted if it was actually you. Your eyes, um, they're still the same.”
Jihoon wishes there was a pool nearby so that Daniel can push him over to remind him how much they had hated each other. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to be complimenting each other. Was he in an alternate universe? Is this a prank?
“Hey, listen,” Daniel says again, his smile cautious, as if he was trying not to expect too much out of his following question. “I have a class now, but, uh, I was thinking- I was thinking if we can catch up over coffee?”
Kang Daniel wants to catch up?
About what?
How he had stained Jihoon’s P.E. shorts red with the flowers he had put on his seat?
Yeah, no thanks.
Jihoon slings his bag over his shoulder, thinking of a way to reject the offer without it seeming like he’s telling Daniel he ran over his cat or something. But Daniel must have noticed his hesitation because he bites his lip (a movement Jihoon definitely wasn’t staring at) and quickly says, “it’s fine, we don’t have to. I was just wondering.”
They stand there awkwardly before Jihoon clears his throat and says, “I’ll get going now.”
He turned on his heels to leave, and he definitely didn’t turn around the moment he hears Daniel call his name. He scolds himself before bringing his eyes up to Daniel’s.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Okay. Bye.”
And when Daniel shoots him a smile, his heart thunders against his ribcage, and this time, it wasn’t because he was mad at him.
**
For the next few days, Jihoon had arrived early so that he could sit at the far back of the classroom instead of the front. Because Daniel’s pair of eyes had found his way too often, and he doesn’t like how his stomach flutters every time it happens.
Thing is, he knows it was probably because Daniel hit the growth spurt really well because that man is something. Physically, anyway. Because when he almost trips over absolutely nothing, Jihoon knows that he was still the Kang Daniel he met all those years ago.
**
“Hey, did you get a really good scolding from Daniel or what?” Woojin asks him one day as they move to the back of the class for the tenth time that month. “Why are you avoiding him?”
Jihoon just shrugs, because what can he say?
That he’s somewhat having feelings when he looks at his mortal enemy? Woojin would make fun of him his whole life. And he already has enough on his plate right now.
Today, Daniel was wearing a thin white shirt underneath a blazer, and Jihoon could barely make out the washboard lines on his torso every time Daniel leans back against his chair. It was so distracting even from the 30 rows of seats back.
He wills himself to complete the pop-quiz in front of him, thankful that this won’t be counted as a part of his final grade. Because he was sure he’d fail this one. He was about to taste failure for the first time in his life. And it was all because of that stupid white shirt.
**
“Jihoon, can I talk to you for a second?”
Woojin shoots him a sympathetic glance and wishes him luck as he leaves the room. Jihoon takes in a deep breath before walking over to the TA’s desk. He sees Daniel look at him in concern and he hates it.
“Is everything okay?” Daniel asks, his voice low. “I thought I was marking someone else’s paper due to the amount of errors in the answers.”
Jihoon keeps quiet.
“Are you… rebelling or something?” Daniel asks again, and Jihoon snorts at that because 1) the idea was absolutely ridiculous, and 2) it was so far from the truth.
“You really think I’m the type to rebel?”
“No,” Daniel admits. “That would be more of a Daniel thing to do, wouldn’t it? Although I didn’t need to be rebelling to fail my quizzes.”
The both of them burst into giggles at that, because he wasn’t wrong. That was what middle school Daniel would’ve been like.
“I made you laugh,” Daniel points out, but his tone was gentle, amused, even, and Jihoon quickly looks away.
“I’m sorry, I was… distracted,” Jihoon replies. It wasn’t a lie. “I’ll study harder for the next one.”
“My offer for the cup of coffee still stands if you want to talk though.”
Again with the kindness.
Jihoon just nods. When he turns around to leave, he makes sure he doesn’t turn back. Even if his heart was telling him to.
**
Jihoon aces his next quiz, to which Daniel had attached a sticker of a cat saying, “I knew it!” and Jihoon definitely wants to burn the paper before he starts thinking about how cute it is.
**
It’s becoming a thing, now, the stickers, and Jihoon would never admit it but he had started filing his quizzes neatly. Woojin had thrown him a disturbed look as if he was doing something utterly disgusting, and Jihoon had given the excuse that he wants to keep the quizzes for future reference.
It definitely wasn’t because of the stupidly cute cat stickers.
Park Jihoon was definitely not falling for Kang Daniel.
**
He’s falling hard for Kang Daniel.
He knows because when Daniel pulls a joke out of nowhere, the corners of his lips tug into a smile, even though no one else was laughing and Daniel brushes it off, only to laugh again five minutes later.
He knows because when Daniel shoots him his megawatt smile every time he leaves the room, he finds himself smiling to himself in the middle of the night.
He knows because when Daniel hands his quizzes back, the touch of their hands linger, sending sparks down Jihoon's spine.
And he realizes that now, when he sees Daniel talking to a female colleague during lunch, and he feels an unfamiliar tug in his gut when he laughed at something she said. And Daniel had seen him then, and waved, but Jihoon had already walked away.
Because they were enemies.
Park Jihoon was delusional if he ever thought he’d end up with Kang Daniel.
**
The final exams are finally creeping up on them. He’s with Woojin in the library for the fifth night in a row, trying to memorise the set of English words. But it’s been, what, five hours, and Jihoon thinks his brain might explode from the sheer stress of studying.
“Hey, I’m going to get coffee, do you want any?”
Woojin barely looks up at him to mutter a “no” before going back to his books.
Suit yourself.
Jihoon stretches his limbs, feeling so much better when his joints make small popping noises to which Woojin sends a couple of disgusted glares at him. He takes his wallet and phone and starts to make his way to the vending machine just outside the library.
“Jihoon?”
He doesn’t have to turn around to recognize that voice. That voice which already seems so familiar, so comfortable, when it should’ve set his fighting instincts on fire.
“Daniel.”
“Cramming for the exams, huh?”
“Yup,” Jihoon responds. He still has his eyes trained on the cup that was filling up with caffeine.
“How’s everything going?”
God knows how much he wants the conversation to end because he does not have the mental capacity to deal with this. He’s so, so, tired.
“It’s going fine.”
“When do you plan on going home?”
“Sometime later tonight.” He could already feel himself snapping.
“Maybe I can walk you home-”
“You don’t have to. I’m fine.”
“I don’t mind waiting for you, it’s no big deal, and it’s starting to get dark, I should walk you home-”
“Daniel,” Jihoon warns him, his voice hard as he fights back his tears that were threatening to spill.
“Jihoon-”
“Stop!” he finally explodes, turning to look at him straight in the eyes. “Stop being so nice to me.”
Daniel’s face falls, and Jihoon hates this, hates himself, hates Daniel for being, well, Daniel.
“You hate me, so why- why are you so nice to me?”
Daniel shoots him a confused look. “Why would I hate you?”
“I thought you hated me,” Jihoon says, his voice shaking in anger. “All those things you made me go through in middle school?”
“Like what?”
“You pushed me into a pool.”
“There were bees chasing you! I heard that’s what you’re supposed to do!”
“I couldn’t swim!”
Daniel grimaces at that. “I didn’t know.”
“And that time you gave me the sandwich? I had to go to the hospital.”
“I overheard that you wanted homemade food instead of the cafeteria bread, so I thought I’d share mine with you,” Daniel frowns. “Sorry.”
“What about the flowers? My shorts were stained so badly my mom had to buy me a new pair.”
“I didn’t know roses could stain that badly,” Daniel admits. “I’ve never given them to anyone.”
And you told me you liked me.
The words sit on his tongue, because he doesn’t want Daniel to explain that. He doesn’t want Daniel to explain it away like he did with everything else. He had wanted that to be a lie, so it’ll be easier. Easier for him to move on and continue to pretend that they were enemies.
“Jihoon.”
He refuses to look up, refuses to look into the eyes of the man he was starting to have feelings for. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to be reminded of how much they disliked each other, how much the possibility of them being together wasn’t much at all.
“Jihoon,” Daniel says again, and Jihoon hates how nice his name sounds when Daniel says it. Hates the way it stirs something in him, hates the way it was soft, and gentle, and kind.
“I’m sorry if you thought I hated you all this time. I was a kid who was hopelessly in love with you. I was a mess.”
There.
He said it again.
Except that this time the confession was that he was in love with Jihoon.
“We were both messes,” Jihoon chuckles softly. “I still am.”
“I like you.”
The words had escaped so naturally from Jihoon’s lips that he thought he was dreaming. Because did he really say that out loud? To Kang Daniel? His supposed-to-be-enemy?
The confession clearly shocked Daniel, too, because he was quiet, and Jihoon doesn’t think he’s ever seen Daniel so quiet.
“You don’t have to reciprocate,” Jihoon says quietly. “I was mean to you since we were kids, and you probably moved on since it was ages ago, so, really, you don’t have to give me an answer. I get it.”
And he doesn’t realise how much his face was burning until Daniel holds his face in his large hands. It was cold, but it feels nice, it feels natural, and Jihoon almost chokes back a sob.
“Your eyes always look so pretty do you know that?” Daniel says softly. “You’re my first love, how can I ever say no to you?”
Daniel leans in then, and Jihoon’s eyes widens as the other’s face grows nearer to his own. He forgets to breathe, because that was how breath-taking Daniel looks right now, with his eyes staring straight into Jihoon’s own, his chapped red lips parted.
The kiss was soft, so soft, like a whisper, and Jihoon melts into it right away. There were no alarm bells ringing in his head, and instead all he hears was the pounding of his heart. And unlike his cold hands, his lips were warm, and it was more than anything Jihoon had thought it'd be.
Their noses brush for a moment, and Daniel pulls Jihoon closer against him until their chests were flush against each other. He nibbles on the younger's bottom lips, enjoying how Jihoon responds with soft mewls, his breath hitching with every little bite. Daniel lets a hand rest against Jihoon's nape, and another on his waist. Their breaths mingle messily, and yet, they were in tune to each other's moans, letting their tongues slide over with a kind of frenzy, mapping the walls of each other's mouths.
And at that moment, Jihoon realises that maybe Daniel wants him too, as much he wants Daniel. He brings his hands to card through Daniel’s hair, enjoying how soft the strands feel against his fingers. He tugs at it, and Daniel lets out a soft whine which had Jihoon smile into the kiss. When they remember that their lungs needed oxygen, they break apart, only to rest their foreheads on each other’s, and Jihoon blushes when he sees Daniel look at him with pupils blown, his lips red, and his breath ragged.
Yeah, Jihoon was utterly and absolutely in love with this man. There wasn’t a hint of doubt now. He doesn’t want to push him away anymore. The hate that had resided in his lonely heart was now filled with happiness he couldn’t begin to describe, and he was giddy at the thought that the reason for that was Kang Daniel.
“I hate you,” he says, and this time his words weren’t laced with bitterness at all. And Daniel knows, because he presses a kiss onto Jihoon’s forehead and says, “I hate you too.”