Chapter Text
She stayed longer than she should have, taking a much longer shift than is normal, and she feels the after-effects now, but she really did not want to go home when she was done at first. Even so, Rei knows she can’t avoid this forever. At one point she has to go home, to face what this day means, and she has to bring another bouquet of flowers.
‘One would think that at some point I would have gotten over this.’ She thinks as she trudges down the streets. The sun is shining, people are out walking and enjoying the weather, and she is trudging along with a lowered head, mood far from being as bright as the sun above her. She dislikes today. She just wants to go home and fall onto her bed and cuddle with her kittens with a cup of hot cocoa, or coffee, whichever is more tempting when she gets home. She wonders if she should just order the flower-arrangements online and have them sent to the address, but then she looks up just as she passes by a new flower-shop and stops.
If she goes in and buys flowers immediately, then she won’t have to go to the one near her home and can consequently avoid the old lady who runs it. She is good, her arrangements are pretty, but that woman asks far too many personal questions and Rei doesn’t want to answer any of them. She’s never been inside, this shop is that new, around a few months, if she remembers correctly. She backtracks, because she really does not want to answer any stupid questions because her day is terrible enough as it is. She enters the shop, the fragrance of all the different flowers embracing her as she closes the door behind her. She can’t see anyone, but she knows what she wants anyway, or what she is going to get, so she decides to locate the flowers she wants and just get it over with. She finds the pink carnations rather quickly, but Rei only stares at them.
Her father doesn’t like pink. Rei always just got pink because she thinks it is a somewhat nice flower, and because the old lady at the other shop insisted that the pink carnations were the right choice.
Rei really doesn’t like that old lady, and it makes her feel kind of terrible.
“Can I help you?” She jumps at the voice from behind her, and turns around, not expecting what she sees. The man behind her is riddled in tattoos and piercings, his hair styled in an undercut and she can’t help but stare for a moment, because despite the pitch-black tattoos on incredibly pale skin, his clothes are all pastel coloured. The only thing alerting her that he is in fact an employee is that he is wearing an apron with the shop’s name on it. At least she thinks it is the shop’s name. She feels like hitting herself for not checking before entering.
“Oh, yes. I’d like, um, I’d like a flower arrangement, for a grave.” She says, inclining her head with a smile.
“Of course.” He says and tilts his head.
“May I ask for whom?” Rei feels what little hope she has for this shop disappear. She wonders if this man is going to be just as noisy as the old florist near her apartment. Perhaps he sees that his question bothers her, because he speaks up again.
“So I can get a better understanding of what you need.” He adds, and she nods, biting her lower lip. It happened a year ago, but it still hurts to think about.
“My father.” She tells him. “They’re for my father. I just want a nice bouquet to lay on his grave.” The florist nods and surveys the carnations she had been standing in front of.
“You want pink carnations?”
“Dad hates pink, but the symbolism is nice, or so I’ve been told.”
“I see. Were you close?”
“Yes.” He hums, and plucks a few pink carnations, then he moves over to pick a few white ones as well. She blinks, because usually she gets a bouquet of pink carnations and is sent on her way. Then he walks around the tables and stands and finds a few light blue-purplish coloured flowers she doesn’t know what means or even their names. She is even more confused now but follows as he moves towards the counter and starts decorating. She watches him match the colours together and suddenly, with just a slip of silk, she has a bouquet. Different from what she is used to.
“Is it satisfactory?” She jerks her head up to look at the florist, and stares at the bouquet again.
“What are these named?” She points at the blue flowers and he smiles.
“Hydrangeas. They symbolise heartfelt emotions, gratitude.”
“Oh.” She breathes out. That is nice. The bouquet is nice, much nicer than what she’s used to. And now she feels slightly horrible again because the lady at the other shop is nice and good at her job, but too noisy and it is not her fault that Rei doesn’t like her. She just tries to be supportive and Rei never once told her that she felt uncomfortable, she just nodded along and smiled. This time she doesn’t have to force the smile though.
“Thank you.” She says as she pays for the decoration.
“Thank you for your purchase.” The florist says with a smile and carefully hands her the bouquet. “Have a nice day.” He adds as she turns to leave, and she swivels on her heels.
“Yes! You t-too!” She says, embarrassed, and then less than gracefully flees the shop. She wants to kick herself. She is exhausted, and her day isn’t good just because today is today but forgetting to show basic courtesy is no excuse. She takes the bus directly to the graveyard and notices a few other people wandering the dismal place. Rei hates the graveyard, but she can’t help but come back every anniversary, every birthday… She got no one else. Okay, that is a lie, she’s got plenty of friends, but she has no other family. Her family lies here.
‘What a depressing thought.’ She thinks as she stops before her father’s grave. She gingerly places the bouquet at the base of the stone, and claps her hands together, offering a small prayer. She never really has anything to say when she comes here, nothing she wants to convey to her father’s spirit, if something like that even exists. Her father used to tell entire stories to her mother’s grave, and Rei had enthusiastically joined in when she was younger, but now... She’s unable to move on, even though it’s been a whole year already. She wonders if she’s a terrible friend, why Hitomi and Sayaka bothers with her when she’s so depressed all the time? Jun certainly had not.
After only a month of her struggling to come to terms with it, he had left. He did not much care for the nightmares either. He thought she was too broken, and perhaps she was. Rei can’t say she was too sad to see him go, really, considering she had bodily thrown him and his mistress out herself. That had felt good, ending a chapter of her life she no longer felt much passion about, and throwing him out herself, and feeling something other than sadness. She had been angry then, so angry she felt warm again. And then it was over, and Hitomi and Sayaka had rushed over when she called them. They had tried to console her and cheer her up, thinking that this had just been the icing on the cake for all the bad things that had happened to her lately. She still isn’t sad about that, but she had appreciated their attempt at cheering her up. She was especially happy when they set the bed and sheets on fire and helped her buy a new bed. That had been somewhat fun.
Perhaps this is something she should talk about? People say talking to the grave helps.
“Hey.” She jumps. How many times have she been startled today? Rei turns and sees Sayaka and Hitomi and notices the bouquet in their hands.
“We thought we might find you here.” Hitomi says as they walk up to her.
“Yes, well… I have nowhere else to be. Or did we have plans? Did I forget something?”
“No, we haven’t made plans together for today.” Sayaka smiles and puts down their own bouquet. “We don’t want to bother you today, but we thought we’d bring some flowers too.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Rei tells them sincerely and sighs. “But I don’t have any plans today either, and I don’t feel like sitting home alone tonight. I’m free tomorrow, how about we go out for a drink tonight?” They stare at her like she’s grown two heads. Rei never proposes going out to drink, and they worry she might not be okay, but she’s waiting for a response and they jump at the chance. This might help them help her get her mind off of things. This might be a chance at getting her out of her shell again, to get her to socialize again. Even a chance at helping her move forward. To make her open up enough to make her understand she can’t stay alone forever.
There is nothing wrong with grieving, but she needs to move forward.
“Yes! Let’s go out and go wild!” Sayaka says and they both link their arms with Rei’s, before Sayaka covers her mouth. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have yelled that here.” But Rei laughs and shakes her head.
“I don’t think he’d mind. Everyone else, maybe, but I don’t care about them.”
“That’s more like it!”
Rei doesn’t regret throwing the idea out there, but she has severely underestimated how excited her proposition had made her friends. Half an hour after she returns to her apartment and they are at her door with bags filled with clothes and make-up. Her room looks like someone dropped a bomb in there by the time they’re done and out the door. She can’t say that she’s entirely comfortable with the amount of make-up they’ve applied on her face, considering she’s used to walking without it because of her studies… Her former studies. Walking around with make-up when working on baked goods is stupid.
Still, she is determined to somewhat enjoy her evening. She is the one who proposed that they’d go out, after all. They find a club, and it is fun. They drink, they dance, she and Hitomi pulls Sayaka away from a potential disaster of a one-night-stand, but Rei enjoys it all. It takes her mind off of things, and she forgets her misery for a moment.
And then Jun is there.
Rei feels her good mood crumble. She feels like hurting someone but takes a deep breath and turns away. He hasn’t noticed her yet, too busy with some woman she doesn’t recognize, and she has no intention of drawing his attention and causing a scene anyway. She came here to have fun with her friends. It is nearly midnight when Hitomi calls it a night, claiming her boyfriend has come home and she promised she wouldn’t stay out too late when he is finally home. Rei accepts that, because she likes Kenta. He’s a decent man, good for Hitomi and Rei and Sayaka wave her off when he comes to pick her up.
“If you want to call it a night too, I can drive you both home.” Kenta offers but Rei and Sayaka shake their heads.
“We’re going to keep going a little while longer. Drive safely.” Rei tells him and they are off, going back inside. Sayaka doesn’t last much longer, because she started a shot-contest with someone, and has to be sent home later. Rei helps her outside and finds her a cab. Sayaka lives some distance away, but Rei only has to walk down a few streets and she’ll be home herself.
“Take it with me~.” Sayaka slurs but Rei shakes her head.
“That would be a waste of money.” She tells her friend before giving the driver the address. She hugs her jacket around herself and sighs. It has been a fun evening, but the clock is barely over one in the morning. She doesn’t want to go home just yet.
“Rei!” But on the other hand… She scowls and glances over her shoulder, immediately wishing she hadn’t. Jun looks confused, and he takes a few steps towards her. No, no she is not about to have her evening ruined by this man. She refuses to answer him, and it might make her look dramatic when she starts a brisk walk away from him, but she doesn’t care. He hurt her, he is a stupid man, and she doesn’t owe him anything.
“Rei!” And he has no right what so ever to speak her name so casually. She ups the speed when she hears him close in, and soon she is sprinting down the streets. She’s glad she was in the track-club in high school and kept up her morning-run regiment. She takes sharp turns and tries to lose him but he’s keeping up and it is pissing her off. She regrets wearing heels to her jumpsuit, because they are slowing her down considerably. And she might be a bit drunk and unsteady, but she won’t admit to that. She sees the bar located not far from her home. Jun knows where she lives, but he hasn’t turned the corner yet, so if she ducks in here, she might lose him. She can hide in there until it’s safe to go home, or call Kenta and ask him to come pick her up after all. If she tells Hitomi why, she’ll chase her boyfriend out to come to Rei’s rescue.
There is no time to think, she yanks the door open and slips in. The lady behind the bar looks up as she hurries up to the bar counter, smiling and about to ask what she can do for her, most likely, but Rei cuts in before she can say anything.
“Please, can I hide here? I’m being chased.” It is not like she is scared of Jun, but she is angry, hurt and doesn’t trust that he’ll listen because he is visibly affected by the alcohol he’s been drinking. If he doesn’t take the hint when she outright runs away from him, then she doubts he’ll understand if she tells him she doesn’t want to see him. Or scream at him that she doesn’t want to see his face ever again. The door opens, and she tenses, turning her head to see that it…
Is not Jun walking in the door, but a couple. She visibly relaxes and turns back towards the redheaded woman with a pleading gaze and the bar lady nods and smiles.
“U-chan, mind helping me out here?” She calls and someone sitting further down the counter looks up.
“Hm?” Rei turns towards the voice and blinks. Of all the people in the world.
“Back booth, now. Take her with you.” That sounds ominous, but the man gets up with a glass and grabs a bottle behind the counter as he gestures for Rei to follow as the bartender shoves a glass into her hand too. She quickly follows and sits down with the man in a dark booth that hides her view from the door. She feels herself relax a bit as the man fills her glass with wine and slides it towards her.
“Hello again.” He says and she laughs quietly.
“Hello.” To think that she would meet the florist outside of his shop. She shakes her head. He’s dressed differently now though, he’s dressed in black pants, a soft yellow dress-shirt, and a black vest. A far cry from the casual, comfortable-looking clothes he wore in the flower-shop. He looks good though, despite the uneven locks. The only thing that is kind of odd and stands out is the cute little hairclip keeping his hair out of his face.
“I might have heard that you’re in some kind of trouble, miss?”
“Not exactly trouble, but… well I don’t want to deal with the man, and he won’t leave me alone. No use going home, since he knows where I live. I thought about hiding and calling a friend.” The man nods at her explanation.
“I’m Fujioka Rei, by the way.” She tells him and he nods again.
“Uta.” Not very talkative, is he?
“You didn’t even ask the bartender what she wanted you to do. This isn’t the first time you’ve done this, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. It’s happened a few times, but not too many. I just know that if Itori-san mentions the back booth here, someone wants to hide. It is either me or a common friend of ours who do this.”
“I see. It isn’t a bother, is it?”
“Not at all.” He assures her. “Did you like the bouquet?” She blinks, before nodding.
“Yes. It was really nice, it fit very well. Thank you.”
“I’m glad.”
“Is it your shop?” Rei asks, just to keep the conversation going and he nods. She asks a bit more about it, tries to have him tell her why he became a florist, but then the door opens again, and she freezes. She can’t see anything, which makes it worse, because when it all comes down to it, if Jun walks in and sees her, what are the chances of him leaving her alone? Uta leans a bit outside, before glancing at her.
“Tall, dark hair, fancily dressed?”
“Oh god, he came here.” She groans, and her anger is slowly coming back. She wants to punch him or set him on fire like she did the bed and sheets. Suddenly she doesn’t feel like it isn’t such a big deal anymore. She wants to humiliate him like he humiliated her.
“Don’t let him come near me, I will murder him.” She growls and Uta blinks. If he is surprised by her sudden anger, he doesn’t comment on it. Perhaps it is because he doesn’t know her and doesn’t feel it is his place to do so. Then again, she shouldn’t growl at people who she doesn’t know. Instead of saying anything, Uta leans out to get a quick overview again before retreating back into the booth and shuffling over to sit closer. Rei is not sure she appreciates it, but when she hears footsteps closing in on over the quiet music and hears the bartender call out to the new customer only to be asked a question in return, she throws caution to the wind, grabs her glass and shuffles closer too.
“Arm around me.”
“Pardon?” He raises a thin brow in question.
“Arm around me, please.” It’s not something that’s common, especially not between people who’ve just met, but she’s thankful to the florist for complying with her rather unreasonable request. He wraps his arm around her shoulder, not putting much pressure, actually, she can barely feel his arm there at all, and relaxes in his seat like they’ve known each other for years.
“Tonight is a special date-night at my bar.” Rei hears the bartender say. “There are only couples in here tonight, sir. No one is sitting alone, I’m afraid.”
“She couldn’t have gone anywhere but here.” She hears Jun say and Rei tightens her grip on her glass.
“He’s not giving up, is he?”
“He is nothing, if not persistent.” Rei says and takes a sip of wine. She wants to hurt him. So bad. She can hear him walk further inside the room, coming closer to where she’s sitting at. She is seriously contemplating about grabbing the bottle and hurling it at him should he come around the corner.
“Is it really date-night?” She asks to distract herself from her violent thoughts and Uta nods.
“Yes. Itori-san throws them once a month for her regulars. This place was used for speed-dating once, and a lot of couples emerged from it, believe it or not. They became her regulars afterwards.”
“Oh, that sounds nice. I, uh, didn’t pull you away from your date, did I?” She feels embarrassed now, wondering if she might have crashed his whole evening and that is not a great second impression, not that she gave him the greatest first impression either. He just laughs quietly, shaking his head.
“No. I was here to help Itori-san out a bit. Her second bartender called in sick. I was actually on my way out when you came in.”
“Oh, good.” She relaxes visibly, and he chuckles quietly again before looking up and Rei follows his line of sight, eyes landing on Jun. Rei really wish that he had listened to the bartender and left, spared them all the trouble.
“Rei-“ His voice alone pisses her off, especially when it is coupled with that lost and sorrowful look on his face, which won’t do anything to sway her ire.
“Hamasaki-san.” She says, voice chilly. She sees Uta glance at her from the corner of her eyes, but she doesn’t look away from Jun. She is far from happy, and she shows it. Why hide it?
“Who’s this guy, Rei?” She feels like laughing at the man, because who the hell is he to ask her that in such an accusing tone of voice, as if she is the one cheating on him? Who the hell does he think he is, using her first name like that?
“This is Uta-san.” She offers no more explanation than that. She doesn’t have much more to go on either, really, other than that he is the florist owning the flower shop not far from the coffee shop she works at herself.
“Why are you here with him?”
“Date-night.” Uta answers this time, holding up his glass in greeting. Jun doesn’t seem at all satisfied with that answer and turns towards Rei, holding a hand out. She eyes it like it’s riddled with disease and everything else she finds disgusting. Like himself, for instance.
“Rei, come with me, I need to talk to you.” She wants to laugh. He really is without shame, isn’t he?
“Funny, I don’t want to listen.” So what if she sounds like a petulant child? What Jun did is unforgivable, and she listened to him trying to explain as she threw him out along with his stuff and that woman who did not know he had a girlfriend. She feels pity for the lady, more than anger. She had seemed so mortified and ashamed when Rei threw them out.
“You have to give me a chance at explaining what happened. You changed the locks and locked me out.” Rei loves her landlady for being so understanding, for living just down the hall and hearing and watching Rei bodily throw the bastard out, and silently cheering the young lady as she did so.
“I thought it was pretty obvious what was happening. I was grieving, I needed support and you were sleeping with another woman, in my bed, in my apartment. Is it really rocket science to understand why I changed the locks?” She smiles, though there’s no mirth to it, as she crosses her legs and arms. People have probably turned around to look in their direction and she’s causing a scene, but she doesn’t care.
“I made a mistake-“
“Several ones, from what I heard from the poor girl who came crying to me days later, apologizing for being a homewrecker.”
“Rei-“
“Hamasaki-san.” She cuts him off. “You have long since lost the right to speak my name, let alone be in my presence. I get that I am no more special than anyone else, but I do not have to take this kind of treatment from you.” She says sternly.
“Rei-“
“Hamasaki-san, read my lips. We are over, we were over months ago.” He looks like he wants to argue, but Uta cuts in.
“Sorry, but you are kind of intruding on our date and souring the mood. Do you mind leaving?” It doesn’t actually sound like a request, but a demand from the soft-spoken florist and Jun looks like he wants to make a rebuttal, but the bartender approaches and gently pushes Jun back.
“Sir, you are disturbing my customers. I have to ask you to leave.”
“But-“
“Sir.” She insists, and Jun finally leaves. Rei heaves a trembling sigh before she slumps in her seat, falling against Uta without meaning to. She jerks.
“Oh, sorry.” She says, and tries to sit up straight again, but the florist shrugs and she slumps again, feeling physically and emotionally drained.
“I don’t mind. He sounds like a real piece of work, and you sound like you need support.”
“I have support. That is why I was out tonight. I usually don’t go out partying, but I wanted to do something else than sit on my couch the entire weekend, so I went out with a few friends. They’ve been sent home though, and I was on my way home too, when he saw me.”
“Hm, did you have fun though?” It is very courteous of him to ask, and she smiles.
“Yes, I did. Sorry to have dragged you into this, but thanks for playing along.”
“Well, it made my night a bit more interesting.” He says and for the first time since she saw Jun that evening, Rei laughs. A proper laugh. She can’t remember the last time she laughed like this, and she feels tears press on too.
“Oh dear.” She takes a deep breath in an attempt at stalling the waterfalls, and it works. “Thank you, so much, but I think I need to go home. Before I make another, entirely different scene.”
“You didn’t make a scene as much as you stood up for yourself.” And Rei thinks it is very nice of him to say that, because she thinks she did make a scene and that she also made quite the fool of herself, spilling everything in a bar and perhaps ruining the evening for other guests. She should apologize, but she isn’t in the mood for it, far too embarrassed.
“Do you want me to walk you home? He didn’t seem like the type to give up.” Rei thinks about it for a moment. No, Jun has most likely not given up, and if he is still lurking around, Rei doesn’t want to see him.
Rei doesn’t want to see him ever.
“If it’s not too much trouble.” She must be mad to allow a stranger to take her home, but the florist has been nicer to her this evening than Jun had been for months before their breakup. If worst comes to worst, she will just have to step holes into his feet with her heels and make a run for it.