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The woman before him is very… sharp. Sharply dressed, perfect little body, and not a hair out of place. Her dress is cut low exposing quite a great deal of cleavage, and the skirt of her dress cut just a little too high showing off perfect, slim legs.
Even her makeup is sharp.
And her personality… her personality was honestly the sharpest part about her.
She honestly, kind of reminds him of a pointier version of his Mom, which is incredibly off putting given the fact she’s been obnoxiously flirting and given him the ‘I’m fucking you with my eyes’ stare since he got here.
He’s sure of this too. It’s the same look he gives Deku almost 24 hours of the day. When he’s not it’s only because he’s sleeping and dreaming of fucking Deku.
He likes fucking Deku, okay? It’s a thing. Their a thing. Everybody knows they’re a thing.
He made sure of that too.
He got their picture in the newspaper and everything.
So why, WHY, this lady felt it was okay to flirt with him he would never understand.
And at kid’s charity event of all places, and yea it’s an extremely fancy charity event filled with far too many rich assholes trying to make themselves look better and oddly enough no actual children, and yea maybe he thought about dragging Deku off to the bathroom and having his way with him, but… STILL!
“So, what do you say, Grooound Zero? Want to blow this joint and go have a little fun?”
Did she… did she literally just purr his name… gross.
“Listen Lady, the answer is no. I’ve already said it once, so back off and take a hint already!”
The sharp bitch pouts at him.
“But why not? I’m hot, your hot. We could have a great time together!”
“Yea, no. Firstly, and I’m sure you already know this as everybody knows this but I have a boyfriend, and secondly, even if I didn’t the answer would still be no.”
She huffs and peers behind him to where he knows for a fact (because the man hadn’t moved from that spot all night) Deku is trying to blend in with the scenery as he fiddles with his tie, and only offers awkward “hellos” when prompted. The poor man-child had never done good with fancy events like this. Events where he got to interact with actual children, and run around as they chase him and try and climb him like a tree, expert at those. Anything else. Awkward as shit.
“Are you talking about Pro Hero Deku? You two are actually dating?”
“Yea, I know. I was surprised he agreed to go out with me as well.”
“I…,” she pauses and gives him a very confused look. “Do you… I mean… you actually find him attractive like… that?”
“Like what,” he growls.
“Well, I mean … don’t get me wrong, Deku, you know… he use to be pretty hot, but now I mean… look at him … he’s… he’s so fat!”
She gestures widely in Deku’s direction, and though he knows exactly how Deku looks he takes the opportunity to give his boyfriend a good look over (also because he’s a petty bitch who’s going to gladly knock this pointy bitch down a peg).
Sure, enough Deku is standing around fiddling with his tie looking just as uncomfortable as Katsuki thought. Probably, doesn’t help that being this event literally got pushed on them out of nowhere they hadn’t really had the time to find the poor nerd a new proper fitting suit. It wasn’t too bad of a look exactly. The shirt was just a little too tight showing off Deku’s lovely softening pecks and the way his new bit of fluff spills over his belt buckle, which as well was way too tight for that matter.
In fact, though the shirt was tight it hadn’t been tooooo hard to button…but the pants.
They had to literally wrestle Deku’s squishy booty into those damn pants, and damn… just damn. They did not leave much to the imagination.
Hmmmm.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lady. He looks pretty hot to me.”
She gasps and stares at him shocked.
“Oh my god! It’s true then… you do have a fat fetish!”
Oh yea, that was the new thing the bullshit media was saying about him.
“Eh, I’d say it’s more of a dick fetish and a fetish for sweet boys that aren’t pointy fucking bitches with mismatched eyebrows who have no respect for people who are in relationships.”
The woman lets out another gasp as her hands fly up to her eyebrows in horror as she bolts away from him towards the lady’s room almost tripping over her own obnoxious heels as she goes.
Honestly though, her eyebrows had been flawless, but hey… petty bitch.
“Kacchan, you’re not being mean to people, again are you? You promised.”
Huh, seems Deku finally came out of his hidey corner. He turns to sure enough find Deku looking at him wide, disapproving eyes.
He shrugs.
“That bitch deserved it. Kept saying awful shit, and wouldn’t take no for a god damn answer.”
“No?”
“Yea, she wanted to fuck. I didn’t want to fuck. Bitch wouldn’t listen.”
“She wanted... she what?”
“She wanted to fuck, Deku.”
“And you didn’t want to … have um sex with her?”
“Of course, I didn’t! Why the fuck would I want to fuck some pointy bitch!?”
“Well, I mean your both attractive and I just thought that um-”
“That I’d want to fuck some bitch because she was thinner than you?”
“Um well … yea.”
He reaches out to flick Deku in his stupid, dumb nose.
“Would you fuck someone because you thought they were hotter than me?”
“No! Never! Nobody will ever be hotter than Kacchan! I … I only ever want you Kacchan…”
“Wrong, Deku. There is someone hotter than me and I’m looking at him.” He pries Deku’s death grip off of his poor tie, and tugs the nerd close. “And I think this hot piece of shit needs to get it through his thick nerdy skull that the only person I ever want in my life is him.”
He flicks Deku in his stupid, dumb nose again, because he can, and gives the man a soft peck on the lips.
“Now, come on my little Chubby Bunny. I’ve been watching you eye that buffet table all night. Let’s go steal us a tray of those little tart things I know you love so much, and see if we can’t get our pictures in the newspapers again.”
------
“I really wish you weren’t so proud of this Kacchan… this is not something to be proud of…”
“I don’t know what your talking about Deku. This is something to be absolutely proud of! The media likes to fuck with us, so we’re fucking it right back.”
“They’re saying you have a well… you know… and that my weight gain is your fault.”
“It’s called a fat fetish Deku. God, you’ll let me fuck your tiddies, but you cant say the word fat fetish.”
“Kacchan!”
“Come on Deku who gives a shit.”
“But what if our younger fans see these articles?”
Katsuki glances over at the newest articles he’s added to his slowly growing collection of approved media articles. It’s a picture of them from the other night. Their sitting in the back of the room away from the other guest. On the table is two stolen trays of food. Katsuki himself is holding one of the stolen treats in his hand and holding it up to Deku’s perfect little pink lips.
They’re both giving each other the ‘I’m fucking you with my eyes’ stare.
“Eh, it’s the parent’s fault for letting them see this shit. Plus, it’s not like they got pics of us after the event though…. actually …you know it would be pretty hot to have a billboard showing you with my dick wedged between those perky little tits of yours.”
“KACCHAN!!”