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that was the last day of the campaign and yoongi knew he would have to leave. he didn't want to.
he had to.
yoongi remembered waking up at half past five in the morning - much ealier than he was supposed to. slowly putting all of his belongings (some jeans, worn t-shirts, a red bandana jungkook gave him on the very first day and so many unfinished music sheets about the melodic voice and bunny smiles and eyes he would never get tired of drowning himself into) then silently snuck out of the house - he didn't want to wake the other volunteers up, they must be pretty tired after the farewell party last night anyway.
it was cold outside, chilly. the sky was blue and pink and purple but the birds weren't singing and the sun wasn't shining; it was busy hiding behind the white clouds sleeping.
.
yoongi never wanted to leave.
.
jungkook, somehow, managed to show up not long after that. he was wearing his usual outfit: dark blue cotton shorts, an oversize hoodie which had some cuts at the collar - "there were some tears so I decided to make this hoodie look more fashionable by cutting these, guess it worked ?" . he looked a little bit sleepy, hair tousled in a perfect way - definitely because he had just got out of bed few minutes ago in order to meet yoongi (personally) one last time - but still so young and beautiful. and stunning. and otherworldly.
yoongi felt the urge to run away, wanted to just leave the four-page letter he had written for jungkook nights before (with so many "i'm sorry"s and "i'm so so sorry bun i'm so sorry i have to leave"s in it) there and then (magically) vanish into thin air. but he didn’t.
instead, he let out a normal greeting. almost a whipser.
"hi, jungkookie."
jungkook didn't reply immediately - “ maybe he didn’t even want to greet back at all”, he thought. he stared at yoongi with his starry eyes, his ocean eyes, his too-beautiful-to-be-true eyes for what seemed like a century.
"i don't want to leave, you know." yoongi continued, tried not to let his sadness linger on the trembling words.
the younger bit his bottom lip, "i know, yoongi hyung. but still..."
yoongi also wanted to tell him he would come back the next summer, or christmas if he managed to have some free days and could earn enough money for the trip. but he couldn't.
because yoongi would never be able to be here in at least two or three years. fuck geography distance and his study and his music career.
because yoongi was afraid that jungkook might not be here forever, "he's growing up and he may move somewhere else - anywhere but this poor village - to start university as a fine art major like he’s always dreamed of, or he'll be adopted by a lovely family not long after you left and move somewhere else - anywhere but this poor village - to start his new better life. he doesn't have any reasons to wait for a person who may never come back for him, what the fuck are you thinking yoongi ?" .
"come here, let me hug you one last time lil bun." the sentence came out far more raspier than he'd expected. and his heart ached so much it hurt.
jungkook quickly averted his gaze up to the blue blue sky. for a second, and then two, three - yoongi thought it might be an enternity; he didn't bother to count, anymore. then he looked down, facing yoongi while slowly taking small steps towards him. there were tears swelling up in his eyes and yoongi was just a step away from killing himself. he would never want to see jungkook cry because of this (unwanted) upcoming separation. never.
when jungkook's warm body pressed up to his and the younger's arms gently drawing small circles on the back of his t-shirt, he had to hold up a sob.
“not now yoongi, not now.”
gathered all of his strength, yoongi lifted his shaking left hand to touch jungkook's soft soft jet black hair and jungkook quickly let out a content breath like always - this was their thing. yoongi could still feel the great sorrow slipping through the thin air between them, slowly but firmly drawing out unshed tears from the corner of their eyes, but he tried to ignore it and let his hand card through the familiar silky strands while praying that this moment would last forever.
it didn't last forever, though.
"i'll remember about you, bun. jungkookie. bun. my lil bun." yoongi tightened his grip on jungkook's torn hoodie. tons of words unsaid but he didn't feel like saying them anymore.
"no, hyung. no." jungkook was shaking his head, vigorously.
yoongi felt like his chest was going to explode .
"n-, no ?"
"i don't want to say i'll remember about you back because you're already here - in my mind. your deep soothing voice, your gentle touches, your caring actions, your... everything. you have always been there. and always will, hyung." jungkook stopped a second, then continued. "but i'll miss you, yoongi. i'll miss you like hell."
"jungkooki-"
"you know i don’t make promise i can’t keep. we’ll meet again and i will proudly tell you i’m doing so well and then ‘hyung i miss you a lot’. i'll wait for you even if it takes forever, hyung.
i miss you, today and everyday."
("i'll miss you more my bun. i love you i love you i love you so much iloveyousomuch. ")