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Bucky sat down at the kitchen counter with his mug of coffee just like he did every morning. He wasn’t a morning person. He never had been and the years hadn’t made him less grumpy in the early hours. With you, it was different though. He didn’t have to respond to anything you were saying. You’d just carry on with your conversation for the both of you until he was ready to join in.
Bucky sat quietly, just like every morning for the past year he had been living in the Tower. He was holding his cup, right below his face letting the smell, as well as the sips, wake him up slowly. The sound of your voice calmed his mind from the nightmares of the night, without him really having to pay much attention to what you were saying before he wanted too. You didn’t expect anything from him. You never did. His company seemed to be enough for you and that brought Bucky a strange sense of peace.
His lips tugged up a little as he watched you sway to low music coming from the radio as you stood in front of the stove, happily chatting away about your grandmother’s recipe. You always seemed so happy and at ease. So much so it couldn’t help but rub off on Bucky a little.
From the first day he had arrived at the Tower, you had treated him just like anyone else. You hadn’t walked on eggshells around him, but you had never pushed him either. You had helped him more than he thought you’d even realized and you had quickly become one of his best friends.
Steve was Steve. He’d always be his best friend. He was a reminder of his past, good and bad. He never judged him for anything and he tried to help Bucky in whatever way he could. Bucky knew he wouldn’t be sitting here if it wasn’t for Steve. He had believed in him and brought him back when no one had thought it was possible. He owed Steve more than he could ever repay, even if he also knew Steve didn’t see it like that.
Natasha was a reminder of a different part of his past, a past he’d rather forget but knew he couldn’t. She was more than that though. She understood him in a way other people didn’t. They couldn’t, not unless they had known the forces of the KGB and HYDRA from the inside. There was a lot of wounds between the two of them, but she had forgiven him. She had never held any of the bad memories they shared against him and she was committed to letting him start anew. She had gotten a fresh start and she appeared to believe Bucky deserved one too.
Sam, he had met close to the end of his time as the Soldier. He had a few memories of Sam he’d rather forget too, but nothing as violent as the ones involving Natasha and Steve. Sam was a new friend. He treated him like a person, normal. He had from the moment they met as Bucky and Sam. The banter was consistent between them, but it was a sign of respect and admiration on both their parts. It wasn’t hateful in the slightest. Still, with Sam, as much as Bucky enjoyed spending time with him, he was often expected to react. Even if he wasn’t he always did.
You were different. He had never met you as the Soldier. Memories of you were completely fresh and even if the banter with you were rarer than with Sam you had never treated Bucky differently than anyone else.
The first weekend he had spent at the Tower you had come knocking on his door with a huge smile on your face, inviting him for movie night with the rest of the Avengers in the common room. Bucky hadn’t taken you up on the offer that night, nor had he the next two times you asked which he regretted instantly when he on the fourth weekend had snuck into the common room after the movie had begun. He quietly sat down on the couch next to Steve, taking the beer his friend had handed him with a smile. It hadn’t stopped him feeling out of place though, and he had been ready to leave until he had looked up accidentally meeting your eyes. The smile on your face had made him relax so much he had without meaning to return it. After that time Bucky had never said no when you came knocking on his door to invite him to movie nights. Actually, they had quickly become Bucky’s favorite night of the week and he hated when missions pulled him or other members of the team away from the routine.
It was movie nights that made Bucky feel more at ease in the other rooms of the Tower aside from his own. After a few weeks, he had started using the common areas. The gym was the first place he went. It was here he started learning of the other team members routines. Sam and Steve always got up way too early to go for a run. Whereas Nat and Clint didn’t run anywhere unless forced. You, however, did. Just a lot later than Steve and Sam. Actually, you were always just about to head out when they came back to train in the gym.
Bucky had never been one for running so at first he had just figured Sam and Steve’s routine fit him well. He was ready to join them after his morning coffee. Every morning you had asked him to join you for your run. Every morning for a month Bucky had declined.
Aside from never being much of a runner, he hated leaving the Tower, except for when missions required it of him. He felt like people stared at him and judged him. They had every right too. Bucky had done a lot of horrible things in the past seventy years. He still didn’t think he was worth what Steve, Sam, Nat, T’Challa and eventually Tony had done for him. He wasn’t deserving of the pardon he had been granted. He knew he had no choice in all he had done, but that didn’t change the fact he had done it. It was his hands that pulled the triggers of the guns ending the life of men, friends, and fathers who had gotten in HYDRAs way. It was his hands that squeezed the life out of women, loved ones, and mothers that had spoken the wrong words and become a threat to the organization he had been forced to work for. Memories of children taking their last breath before he snapped their necks, merely for being in the wrong place at the wrong time still haunted his memories. He had never wanted to hurt any of those people, but he had done it.
You seemed to know what he was thinking without a word and the first time you had ever confronted him about his past and own insecurities had taken him completely by surprise. You had stepped out of your room dressed for your run, just as he headed towards the gym. You blocked his way in a way you never had before. Your voice had been soft but firm as you spoke, your eyes resting on his face while Bucky tried to look anywhere else but you. He had felt vulnerable and naked as if you had looked right through him and into his soul.
“Bucky… I know you don’t like leaving the Tower, but you can’t stay here forever. Sooner or later you have to get back into the world. I know you don’t feel like you deserve a second chance but I do. Steve does. Sam and Nat do. You wouldn’t be here if every single one of us didn’t believe you deserve to be. Most of the world agrees. You just have to forgive yourself and allow yourself to live again. I am not pushing you. I promise never to mention any of this again, but just know you’ll be safe with me. If anyone is a jerk I’ll punch them in the face. I don’t know anyone that deserves to live a full happy life more than you do. It’s okay if you say no but I’m also not going to stop asking you. Do you wanna come for a run with me?”
Completely taken aback by your words Bucky to this day wasn’t sure how he had managed to get out the mumbled not today before rushing back to his room, where he hid for the rest of the day. He had spent the hours thinking about what you said. Eventually, he decided that even if he still didn’t think he deserved a happy life as she had put it, he owed it to Steve, Sam, and you to at least try to live a normal one. That’s why he walked into the kitchen the next morning wearing slacks and a hoodie. He had ignored Sam’s teasing, that he looked like he was about to rob a bank with his hood pulled down over his face as he sipped on his coffee trying to wake up. He hadn’t even snapped at Sam for drinking out of the damn juice bottle like he did every morning before following Steve to the gym. His senses had been laser-focused on your door and he didn’t move until he heard it opening and closing. He had quickly abandoned the mug, rushing out into the hallway to intercept you. He could still remember the bright smile on your face as he had awkwardly asked you if he could join you on your run that day.
Your simple let’s go, had been all he needed. Every morning since then Bucky had found a new routine. Every morning he went to get his coffee before meeting you in the hallway for their run. They had run in quiet at first, Bucky keeping a slow pace for her to keep up. It wasn’t really about the training for him. It was about getting out in the world and slowly, every day, he had felt more and more relaxed. It was early enough no one stared. Everyone out was busy getting somewhere or occupied with their own training or to do lists for the day. Bucky and you were just two other people starting your day and Bucky found a sense of calm in that.
You made it back to overlap your training with Sam and Steve, before finishing it on your own or as Nat and Clint appeared in the Gym. Breakfast, usually cooked by Wanda with the help of Vision, was after. Depending on the day the team had missions or just a day at home after that. Sometimes half the team was heading out and the rest staying at home. The days Bucky had off, he had usually spent in his room, until one day he decided to stay in the common room to read instead of retreating to his room to do the same. He hadn’t noticed the bright smile on your face as he got comfortable on the couch but he had when you nudged his feet a few minutes later, asking if you could join him.
His smile was involuntary and instant when you smiled at him by then and he quickly moved his feet to give you room to sit down with your own book. A few days were passed like that until you started talking. Mostly about the books, recommending different titles to the other. Somehow the common love of reading spread into other things you had in common, which Bucky had never realized. He told you about life in Romania which had to lead you to insist the two of you were going to a farmer’s market the following Friday. Bucky had turned pale and you had bitten your lip seemingly realizing your mistake in your excitement.
Bucky hated the flash of pain in your eyes. He knew it wasn’t about you or your hurt feelings. It was fear you had pushed him too far and he never wanted you to feel like that. Which might have been part of the reason he had agreed to your suggestion. The real reason though, even if he still couldn’t admit it, was that he loved spending time with you. More than that he loved the bright, warm smile you would give him when he agreed to try something new. He loved how it made your eyes sparkle with pride.
So Friday’s had become Farmer’s Market day. Bucky had been tense at first, feeling as if people were staring and talking about him. He had jumped the first time you had looped your arm through his but when his eyes met yours he relaxed. You were here with him, because you wanted to be and in the end that was all that mattered. Bucky became able to focus on your conversation and the world of fresh food around him. He slowly opened up, talking to the people owning the stalls, tasting and smiling quietly like he had on his own in hiding where no one knew who he was. The only difference here people answered him by his name, Mr. Barnes, or Sergeant Barnes every now and again. Every time he tensed up, but you correcting them to say Bucky, never failed to make his lips tug upward a little. You had yet to punch someone in the face because no one had been rude, but Bucky started to suspect your offer had been sincere.
Farmer’s Market had turned into the two of you actually cooking the food you bought together and every Friday afternoon, you spent in the kitchen together. Sometimes you were talking and telling Bucky about different recipes you wanted to try or what you used to cook with your family. Sometimes you sang along to whatever song on the radio. Other times you chatted away about your week. Bucky was mainly quiet, only asking a question here and there or answering whatever you asked him. He enjoyed it though. Cooking with you was like a dance. Everything was actually. You instinctively seemed to know your place around each other. Bucky enjoyed spending time with you. You made him feel normal and at ease.
Today was Sunday. It was the day after movie night and the day you never went running. It was your day off from training, and it was the one day you stole the morning cooking from Wanda. The day that Bucky never rushed his morning coffee and just allowed himself to wake up slowly to you chatting away at him. He never paid much attention to what you were saying. Not because he wasn’t interested but because he knew you well enough to know that your morning chatter was mostly about nothing. It was your way of waking yourself up, just like coffee and your voice was Bucky’s.
It wasn’t until the strawberry ice cream covered pancake landed in front of him the fractions of what you had been talking about started to piece together in his mind. He leaned back in his seat almost as if to get away from the offending wannabe breakfast item in front of him, looking up at you with a frown.
“Ice cream on pancakes, Y/N? It’s 8am,” he grumbled, but you weren’t one to give up that easily. You were used to Bucky’s sullen approach of anything new and it seemed to amuse you more than scare you off. Not that Bucky wanted you to ever be scared of him. Grumpy was just a natural response for him, especially this early in the day.
“Hell yeah!” You grinned taking a bite of your own, moaning in pleasure and Bucky had to fight not to smile. He wasn’t quite ready to give up just yet.
“Okay. But of all the ice cream in the world. Why strawberry?” Bucky asked, not able to hide the amused glimmer in his eyes as you pulled a face at him.
“Because it’s the best kind. Not only is strawberry the best kind of ice cream period, that specific ice cream beats all others, sleepy. If you had listened you would have known it was my grandma’s recipe and I made it while you guys were on your last mission. Tony insisted only popcorn is allowed on movie night so now you are all having it on pancakes,” you folded your arms over your chest with a determined look on your face.
The sweet little whine when Bucky mirrored your stance broke him and he couldn’t help but laugh as you filled his fork with a bit of ice cream and pancake holding it out to him.
“Come on Barnes. Live a little,” you grinned and with a sigh, Bucky leaned forward letting you feed him the bite. Just as the vanilla and strawberry flavors exploded in his mouth while he stared into your sparkling eyes a memory of the night before joined by a realization came over him.
You slept soundly with your feet pulled up under you and your head resting against Bucky’s chest. The weight of his left arm weighed you down with the same security of a blanket. You were completely relaxed and not even the movie ending or Avengers scattering to their rooms around you woke you from your sleep.
Bucky smiled softly as he watched you. He loved that you felt safe enough around him to fall asleep like that. Barely even stirring when he shifted in his seat a few minutes before to put his beer down. You knew without a doubt there was no danger and no reason to react to the commotion or voices around you.
“So when are you going to tell her?” Sam asked, ignoring Steve’s chastizing tone when he spoke his name.
“Sam.”
Bucky looked up to see the room was now empty except for the four of them. He blinked a few times in confusion as he realized Sam’s question had been aimed at him. “Tell her what?”
“Come on man. We all see how the two of you look at each other. She likes you too. You should tell her,” Sam pushed, despite Steve’s groan beside him.
“What the hell are you talking about man? She’s my friend,” Bucky snapped back at Sam, whose eyes widened in surprise.
“You mean you don’t see it…” Sam started before he managed to stop himself, “Damn!”
“Sam I always knew you were an idiot but this is a new low,” Bucky grumbled before his eyes shifted to Steve who hadn’t talked. He didn’t have too. Bucky knew him better than anyone and he could read the expression on his face with ease. “Seriously Steve?! You too?!”
“Buck… There is no rush. It’s okay to take your time, just…” Steve began before Bucky literally growled at him.
“I am not taking relationship advice from the two of you. Besides, there is no relationship. She is my friend,” Bucky repeated before gently shifting from beneath you, lifting you into his arms.
“Let’s get you to bed doll,” his voice softened as he spoke to you, even if you were still sound asleep. Bucky turned his back to his two idiot friends, ignoring their chuckles as he walked out of the room carrying you down the hall towards your bed.
Bucky had been so sure of his own words that night and he hadn’t even given the conversation a second thought until this moment. Not until he saw the adoration and pride in your eyes, not until he felt his own heart skip a beat and the need to lean forward to share the flavors of the creamy strawberry ice cream with you in a searing kiss came over him. He hadn’t meant to fall in love with you. He had no idea when it had happened but in that moment he knew he had. He was head over heels in love with you and panic spread through his body as both your heads snapped towards the doorway when a voice sounded.
“Good morning,” Sam smirked, with Steve standing next to him with a worried expression on his face. Bucky knew he read him just as easily as he read Steve and the panic he felt in that moment wasn’t something he was able to hide from Steve.
Not knowing what to do, Bucky pushed the chair out behind him and sped from the room, barely hearing you call after him that you could make him something else if he didn’t like it.
He knew his sudden escape had hurt you and he hated himself for it, but Bucky felt as if he couldn’t breathe. He needed to be alone to clear his thoughts. He loved you, but he didn’t deserve you. There was nothing Bucky could add to your life but pain and suffering. He was a broken mess who woke up screaming most nights still, despite it having been years since he was under anyone’s control. It had been years since he had taken a life of someone that didn’t deserve it. But he still wasn’t the man he once was. Hell, he doubted that he ever would be again and you deserved so much more than he would be able to give.
Those were the thoughts that overtook Bucky’s mind for the next three days as he stayed locked inside his room. Only sneaking out to get food when he was sure everyone else was asleep. He would probably have kept going that way hadn’t it been for that damn punk, surprising him in the kitchen nearly making him drop the plate of leftovers he kept finding in the fridge.
“You know she is leaving you those right?” Steve asked, making Bucky’s heart drop even if he saved the plate.
He hung his head, as he sat down at the table with a sigh. He knew Steve wasn’t there to make him feel worse. Steve would always have his back no matter what, just like the opposite was also true. Bucky was doing this to himself.
“I’m not trying to hurt her Stevie. I’d never…” Bucky started before Steve interrupted him giving his shoulder a squeeze as he sat down beside Bucky.
“I know that pal. She does too. She just doesn’t know what’s going on with you,” Steve explained. “She likes you and you disappeared on her after spending every day with her for almost a year now. She doesn’t know what to think.”
“It’s better this way,” Bucky mumbled. “If I just… she’ll move on. She’ll see it too.”
Steve frowned and sighed, causing Bucky to groan and take a bite of the food. He knew what was coming. Steve rarely directed his dad speeches at Bucky, but he had still witnessed enough of them to know when one was coming.
“See what? How horrible you are because you were kept a prisoner in your own body for decades?” Steve’s tone was hard, but not cruel. He was never cruel. Sometimes Bucky wished he would be. That would justify punching him in the face to get him to shut up.
“Steve…” Bucky grumbled in warning but it fell for deaf ears and Steve continued unaffected.
“I know you keep telling yourself you don’t deserve her, but a few months ago you also didn’t think you deserved to be here,” Steve rationalized. “Do you still feel like that?”
Bucky frowned. He hadn’t thought about that for a while. The Tower felt like home now and the Avengers were his family. Even Tony in some strange way. He felt as if he belonged here now.
“Well. No, but…” Bucky started but that was all he got out before Steve interrupted him.
“She did that. I tried. Sam, Nat… We all tried but Y/N was the one that made you see you are welcome here. That you deserve a chance as much as the rest of us. We all made mistakes. None of us are perfect. She sees you for who you are. You and I both know you are not him. You’re not the Soldier, Buck,” Bucky looked up from his plate with a fiery look in his eyes. He wasn’t angry at Steve. Not really. He was just angry. Angry at the world and the hand he was dealt.
“I’m not him either Steve. I’m not the Bucky you remember. I’m not the guy that…” Bucky’s voice broke and he felt all the anger leave him. There was only sadness left. Who he had been or who he had could be was the guy you deserved. The irony was if Bucky hadn’t fallen from that damn train if HYDRA hadn’t found him and turned him into a monster he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t be alive to have met you.
“I know you’re not. Not completely anyway,” Steve’s voice was softer now. “You’re him and you’re not. Just like I’m that same kid from Brooklyn you needed to save from getting his ass kicked and I am not.”
Bucky’s lips twitched upwards at the thought of their youth, before sighing and covering his face in his hands. “What the fuck do I do, Stevie?”
“I don’t know. I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with these things but a smart lady once told me you have to allow people the dignity of their own choices,” Steve answered making Bucky look up from his hands with a small smile.
“Peggy?”
The surprise on Steve’s face was unmistakable, “yeah. How did you know?”
“It sounds like her,” Bucky chuckled, giving Steve a soft smile. Bucky hated the two of them never got the chance they deserved. Maybe Steve was right though. He had no right to make a choice about anyone else’s life. He never wanted to do that to anyone. If Bucky was your choice, then he had no right to tell you that you were wrong. Not when he felt the same way about you. It was his fear holding him back, not a lack of love. You had made his life.
“Okay punk. I might need your help on this,” Bucky sat up a little straighter returning the bright smile Steve sent him. If he was about to make a fool out of himself, so be it. He needed to know and so did you. Whatever was to come after was up to you.
The next day Bucky didn’t spend in his room. He met you in the hall like he used to and went running with you like before. He saw the confusion on your face, but before the run was over it had turned into relief followed by the usual familiarity and ease between the two of you. You didn’t ask and Bucky didn’t explain. Not yet. He would but he had to do it right. The evening Bucky spent chasing down Wanda for the pictures he knew she always took of the team when they weren’t paying attention, he forced Nat and Clint to do some grocery shopping for him and recruited Sam and Steve to help him get the roof ready for tomorrow night.
Friday Tony, Vision, Wanda and you left on a recon mission after Steve had talked to Tony. You returned grumpy when it had proved to be nothing meaning you had missed the Farmer’s Market and cooking with Bucky for nothing. Your grumpy had turned into confusion when Wanda, the moment you were home, dragged you to Nat’s room to get dressed up. You tried to ask questions but the two women just smiled knowingly and refused to answer anything. When you had tried to resist being redressed and dolled up without knowing what was going on, you had been met with Nat’s threats of bodily harm and finally you had decided just rolling with it would be the easiest thing to do.
Just as Wanda had put the final touches on your makeup, there was a soft knock on the door. Nat opened to reveal Steve and your confusion was complete.
“Steve. What’s going on?” you asked, as he offered you his arm.
“Just trust me,” Steve smiled, and you sighed looping your arm through his. Of course, you trusted him. He was your Captain, but more than that he was family. He was a brother to you and a close friend. If it wasn’t for him, most of your lives would look completely different. You trusted him without him having to ask. You let him lead you to the elevator and you watched him wordlessly push the button to the top floor. He lead you out into the hallway, to the stairs to the roof. You gave him a questioning look when he stopped.
“You have to go the rest of the way alone. He’s waiting for you,” Steve smiled and your heart clenched. Bucky. It had to be right? But could it be? You took a deep breath, afraid to ask you just gave Steve a small nod before climbing the stairs.
You hadn’t meant to fall for the blue-eyed super soldier with shaggy hair. All you had wanted was for him to feel welcome at the Tower. The more time you spent with him the more you enjoyed it. He was quiet but he made you feel safe and at ease in his company. He made you feel as if every word you said was the most important thing in the world. He impressed you. Not just because he was handsome as hell, strong and a fierce soldier. No, you were impressed by his kindness and gentle soul. After all, he had been through Bucky wasn’t hardened and uncaring. He was so filled with love for his friends. He was warm and his heart was often his biggest enemy. He cared so much, you knew his past would never truly allow him peace, but you wanted so badly for him to at least have moments of it. You wanted him to be happy, and somewhere along the way, you realized you had fallen in love with him.
You took another deep breath before pushing the door open to the roof. The sight that met you knocked the wind from your lungs. The rooftop twinkled with lights and in the far end was a pavilion with a table in the middle. Between that and you was Sam and Bucky. Sam with his pack on his back facing you and Bucky in a dark blue suit and his hair pulled back in a bun with his back turned to you. Sam’s face lit up in a bright smile, giving Bucky’s shoulder a friendly slap as he nodded towards you before he let his wings unfold and dived off the rooftop just as Bucky slowly turned around to face you.
His heart was threatening to beat out of his chest when Sam alerted him to your presence, but it all but stopped the moment he turned around to see you. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. You always were, but tonight it hit him all the harder. Tonight would change everything no matter what you’d chose.
He stayed completely frozen as you slowly walked towards him. He watched you as your eyes wandered over the pavilion covered in lights and photos of the two of you. He desperately tried to read the look on your face but he couldn’t. You looked overwhelmed and surprised, but he wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or not.
“Bucky…” your voice was filled with emotions as you turned around to look at him and Bucky smiled softly, reaching out his hands offering them to you. When you took them he felt as if he could breathe again. This was you. No matter what your choice was going to be you’d be kind about it. He trusted you like he trusted few people. He loved you and he knew he always would no matter if you returned his affections or not.
“I couldn’t figure out how to ask you or tell you, so I thought I’d show you,” Bucky gave your hands a small squeeze before he led you back towards the pictures. He pointed to the first one.
“This was taken the first time I joined movie night. Steve told me you were the one to start those in the first place,” he said looking down at you, and you nodded.
“Yeah. My family always had movie nights once a week and you are all my family now so…” your words trailed off and Bucky gave your hand a small squeeze before he pointed to the next picture.
“This was taken after one of our runs and that one was from that day where we ended up buying half the Farmer’s Market,” Bucky chuckled, remembering how carried away you had both gotten that day. “You made me feel… you gave me the courage to be part of the world again. It’s still not easy and I’m not sure it’ll ever be but with you, it seems right.”
Bucky gently brushed a tear from your eyes as he lead you towards the table, lifting the lid to show you the strawberry ice cream pancakes he had made Sam fly up last minute so they wouldn’t melt. He smiled when you covered your mouth giggling, patiently waiting for you to look back up at him.
“I’m not sure when it happened. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I couldn’t help it. It has been so long I didn’t see it. Not until that morning. I’m so sorry I ran out on you like that doll. I just…” Bucky struggled to explain, but you just smiled squeezing his hand.
“You got overwhelmed. It’s okay Bucky. We’re here now and this…” you looked around before meeting his eyes again.
“No one has ever done anything like this for me. I love you too,” you confessed, laughing when Bucky’s face broke into a huge smile.
“Really?” he asked, making you laugh even harder as you nodded.
“Really. For a while now. I’m not sure when it happened either, but I do,” you smiled, letting Bucky pull you into his arms.
You felt so soft and perfect in his arms as he gently cupped your face with his right hand, brushing his thumb over your lips, silently asking your permission for him to kiss you. When you nodded Bucky smiled so hard, he was sure his cheeks would be sore tomorrow but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the warmth of your breath against his lips and the adoring look in your eyes, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t allowed himself to see before. Now he wished you’d always look at him like that. No matter if he deserved you or not he wanted to be yours for as long as you would have him. ‘Hopefully, that would be forever’ he thought as your lips met in a tender kiss.
You wrapped your arms around his neck as Bucky pulled you impossibly closer and the kiss deepened. As you allowed yourself to get so lost in each other you didn’t notice the rain starting to fall from the sky even if the pavilion roof was far from waterproof. The rain didn’t matter. Nothing but the two of you mattered anymore. Not your past, not the nightmares or the challenges you both knew you would have to face. They didn’t matter because you had each other and nothing felt more right than being in each other’s arms, kissing as the rain washed all of your worries away.