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It felt good to be back out on the ice, Elain thought. Freeing. Being able to glide effortlessly over the ice like a swan on a lake. She couldn’t even begin to try to remember the last time she and her sisters went ice skating. It had to have been when they were girls, way back when their mother was alive and healthy enough to teach them. Elain smiled to herself as the ringing sound of her sisters laughing with their mates reached her ears. And now as fresh snowflakes fell around her, catching on her grey winter coat and absolutely marvelous new gloves, everything was perfect.
Or, well, it would be if she could coax Azriel into actually skating with her. Her sisters had already abandoned her to skate with their mates. No matter though, she thought. The only person I want to skate with is standing at the edge of the ring, with elegant shadows curling around his form.
Elain skated over to Az and placed a delicate hand on his leather-clad forearm. It was time, she thought, to put on the charm. The corded muscle flexed under her fingers as she looked up at him. His lips pinched together in a firm, resistant line, but Elain pressed on and said: “Will you come skate with me?”
For a moment her heart stuttered at the intense look Az gave her. She began to worry that he would say no and began to retract her hand and tentatively step back. But he caught her fingers in his and gave a single nod of his head, a small smile blooming on his lips. She took that as all the answer she needed and pulled him with her onto the ice.
Azriel, in all the years he had lived in Velaris, had never once been ice skating at the ring erected at the center of the rainbow in the winter. But now, he felt his chest tighten as Elain pulled him on the ice as they followed the rest of their family members.
Yesterday morning, when Mor has suggested the Inner Circle go ice skating, Elain had been the first one to agree. He was surprised when she had then turned to him and asked if he would come along.
Immediately he threw out a vague perhaps, followed by murmurings of skating not being his strong suit. But in reality, as was blatantly clear now as he stumbled his way onto the slick surface of the ring, he was a horrible skater plain and simple. Elain beamed at him, cheeks rosy and snowflakes catching in her dark lashes. He could hardly breath at the sight.
She looked like a vision in her warm looking coat and hat. So cozy and inviting. The hat, she had knitted herself. After a few lessons with Nuala of course. Azriel bit into his cheek as he finally noticed the gloves she was wearing. Black with embroidered roses and peonies around the hem. He had gifted them to her on the winter solstice last week.
Azriel’s chest swelled with pride at the fact that she liked them enough to wear them in public. He hated to admit how much time he’d put into searching for the perfect gift. Everyone would likely give her seeds or gardening tools, so he wanted to be at least a little different. In addition to the gloves he had gotten her a few blueberry scented candles. Her favorite.
Elain has always been great at giving him the perfect gifts, so Azriel felt it was time he returned the favor. In the past he had been held back by the a question that constantly pestered his thoughts. Are we even friends? It felt silly to think that, but what if Elain only thought of him as a mere acquaintance! What if giving her a gift would seem more creepy then endearing. But he had shoved thoughts aside as he purchased the gloves and placed them in a white gift bag.
On The Solstice he was more than pleased for Elain to pass him a delicately wrapped gift that contained an oddly shaped vest. When he inquired as to what it was, she replied that you set it by the fire to warm it up, and then put it on. The heat will warm his back muscles and wings since they can’t fit in most tubs. He marveled at the way that Elain always knew exactly what to get him. That she even paid that much attention to him at all.
But even more than that, the card that came with the gift had melted his heart the most. In the card was written a single sentence in the most delicate script.
“To my closest, most trusted friend, Azriel.”
-Yours,
Elain
That simple card had washed any doubt as to what he was to the seer away. But it had opened doors to other things he was trying to keep at bay. Every day it grew harder for him to resist tucking a curl behind the gardener's ear or smoothing the wrinkles from her brow as she thought.
Calderon, he cursed himself. He shouldn't be thinking that about Elain. Their friendship was tentative still at best, and he should be more than content with that. But… in the dead of night… when the shadows wouldn't stop their whisperings of Elain and he let his mind wander, If he was being honest, he harbored the forbidden hope that perhaps, she considered him more than friends.
But no... It wasn’t possible. She was mated and had a million reasons not to look at him in that same light. Though he had let go, and truly let go, of his love for Mor, Azriel wasn't completely sure where the seer and her mate stood. She deserved a good male like Vanserra anyway. Not someone broken and hardened by the cruelty of life.
She was doing so much better since the war. It had been a long hard road but he had gladly walked it with her. And he would do it all over again if it meant he could see that first smile bloom on her face like a fresh rose after the rain.
And now he felt a small smile bloom on his own face despite his shaking legs as Elain pulled them to the center of the ring out of the way of traffic. He kept his wings tucked in tight so he wouldn't throw off his precarious balance. Naturally, she was a talented skater. She had skated with Nesta and Feyre when they were girls before the money had run out and robbed them of their skates.
Now it seemed the skill hadn’t entirely left her. While Feyre also seemed pretty steady as she leaned into Rhys, and Nesta clung heavily onto Cassian, Elain skated circles about all of them.
“I’m a bit surprised spymaster,” Elain crooed.
“At,” Az groundout, a bit harsher then he meant to. He cursed himself at the tone and vowed to speak like an actual gentleman next time.
“I expected the agile, all-seeing, shadow singer to be a bit more graceful on the ice,” Elain grinned wickedly at him as she slowly began turning them in a circle. Az’s cheeks warmed at that as he tightened his grip on her hands.
“I...ahem…I would be, if I had my boots. These skates aren’t practical for my practices. I’m not used to-“
“Don’t let him fool you with that whole skates aren’t as good as my boots story Ellie,” Cassian suddenly piped up from beside Azriel. Az whirled on him almost fast enough to make him topple, but Elain steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. He nodded his thanks to Elain before turning to scowl at Cass.
“What’s he talking about?” Elain asked warily. Oh, this should be interesting, she thought. The way Azriel’s face turned from a delightful rosy bronze color to beet red no doubt meant there was a story behind that comment.
“Az never told you about his complete lack of skating ability? He has the legs of a newborn doe when it comes to ice skating. He’s been like that since we were children,”
Elain bit back a giggle as Azriel’s lip curled in a barely restrained snarl towards his smug brother. He was in no mood to deal with Cassian’s meddling today. It took enough effort just to keep from slipping on the ice. Cassian only offered a goofy grin in return.
“Don’t worry Az. I’m sure Ellie would be more than happy to teach you how to skate,” and with that, Cassian skated off to catch up with Nesta who now glided around the ring with Amren.
Elain’s cheeks were hot enough to melt the snowflakes collecting on them at Cassians last comment. She’d be delighted to finally be able to teach Az something for once. Even if it was something so small as how to ice skate.
Azriel finally turned back to Elain and met her eye. He pinched his lips together in a poor attempt resist what he knew Elain was about to ask. A question of hope and mischief.
“Mother don’t say it,” he mumbled.
“I can teach you how to skate!” Elain chirped.
“That’s really not necessary El,” Azriel ducked his head to get away from her hopeful face. He knew without a doubt that if he gazed at her for even a second longer his resolve would melt like the snowflakes on her rosy cheeks. But all of that didn't matter as two gloved fingers came to rest against his chin and tilted his face back to face hers.
A small smile graced Elain’s lips as she said “I know, but I’d like to,” That left Azriel speechless. Elain continued “You’re friendship is the greatest gift I’ve ever received,” and then she added a bit sheepishly “A blessing really. But it’s time I returned the favor,”
For a brief moment, Azriel was hit with the fact that Elain knew nothing of how much her words, that simple honest sentence, released a tightness in his chest he been harboring since he first offered his quiet friendship to her. No one had ever, in his 500 years of living said his presence was a blessing. She had no idea that it wasn't him that saved her from the darkness, but she that saved him, with her light and charm.
And right now, Azriel would do-agree to, just about anything she asked. Elain had him completely captured in her spell. So he nodded yes, checking to make sure his mouth wasn't gaping open like a trout, and pulled Elain a little bit closer to him.
Elain beamed up at Azriel, heart doing backflips at the way he had pulled her closer. “Ok,” she started. “Your balance seems to be the main problem. You need to relax. If your legs are always tense then moving becomes difficult because your limbs don't want to move,” Elain scooted back a bit to get a better look at him. Az wobbled without her support but managed to stay upright. “Lower your center of gravity a bit.”
Azriel then bent his knees and squated lower to the ground. “Better, now take a deep breath and relax. Stay loose,” Elain hummed as she took both of his hands and began pulling him around the ring.
Snowflakes fell around them as they glided at a slow and steady pace around the ring. Warm lanterns surrounded the ring, casting everything in a honeyed glow. Snowflakes began to collect in Azriel’s dark locks as they spun around the circle. Elains breath caught in her throat at the sight of the lights spinning behind them and the way Azriel’s eyes held such wonder. She couldn't ever recall seeing that look on his face.
At this point, Elain couldn’t deny the fact that Azriel held a special place in her heart. A spot above mere friendship. Alas, he was in love with another, and had told her as much on the rare occasion. Though it was worth noting that he had not mentioned the kind blond haired Mor in a long time. It didn't matter though. How could she compare to someone as outgoing and caring as Mor?
She had first realized that what she felt for the shadow singer was more than platonic last spring. They were sitting in her garden by the rose bush when she had noticed something. Azriel’s wings were stretched out to their fullest extent as he sunned them in the afternoon light. The sun made them glow with a burnt orange hue. She wasn't thinking as she reached out a tentative hand and grazed it over the glowing membrane. In a flash,?? Azriel had his wings tucked in tight. Their eyes locked as he gave her a roguish grin.
“Look but don't touch, they are sensitive,” he said with a wink and flipped over onto his back in a stretch.
Ever since Elain had wondered, sensitive in what ways? But it wasn't proper for her to ponder such things, especially about a dear friend like Azriel. It was best, she decided, to not rock the boat. Telling Az about her feelings was too much of a risk.
Pure joy painted Elain’s face and sent Azriel’s mind spinning. At the way her hands gripped his and that little dimple appeared on her right cheek. At the way their family was laughing and grinning around them. He wished he could stay in this moment with Elain forever. But after a second, the smile on her face slowly faded, as if the snowflakes fluttering around were turning into fat raindrops. Azriel couldn’t bear the sight of her happiness receding like waves on the beach as she got lost in her own dark thoughts..
Without thinking, Azriel slowly straitened until he was once again towering above her. He kept his stance wide and centered, but made sure not to let his limbs lock up. The distance closed between them as Azriel pulled Elain closer. She gasped at the sudden tug and her momentum sent them spinning once again.
“Az I-”
But the words faded from her lips, smothered by Azriels own as he pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Elain went tight and loose all at once at the contact. For a moment she just stood there, miraculously pressed against Azriel’s firm chest, stunned. Azriels soft lips began to retreat just as her senses finally kicked in and she recaptured them with her own.
The world spun around them as Elain tentatively brought up a hand to cup his face just as Az wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer. And for one short moment in this fracture universe, everything felt perfect.
That is, until Elain’s feet slipped out from under her and sent both her and Azriel sprawling across the ice. Luckily, Azriel made a nice cushion as she landed on top of him. He released a strangled oof at the weight of her, but in an instant, he was sitting up and placing a frantic land on Elain’s face turning it this way and that. Never mind the fact that she was now basically sitting in his lap. How improper it all was!
“Are you ok? I’m so sorry El. I shouldn't hav-”
But Elain cut him off by placing a tender kiss to his lips. He relaxed under her instantly and brought that arm back around her waist. A small smile broke over her lips before she was pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes.
“Don’t ever be sorry for that,” she whispered. Her breath clouded in front of her and mingled with his as she beheld those hazel eyes. “Honestly Azriel, I was hoping you would do that, but I was scared you still loved-”
“Mor,” Azriel finished for her.
At Elain’s bashful nod Azriel said “I haven't felt that way about Mor in a long time, and I- I haven't felt for her what I feel for you...ever,”
Elain had no words for what she felt at hearing Azriel’s reply. So she showed him, by pressing her lips to his once more as they sat sprawled out in the middle of the rainbow skating rink, with golden and white snowflakes falling around them.