Archive of Our Own

Min Yoongi told Park Jimin he loved him and they were six and four respectively. Jimin was at the playground on the swingset waiting for yoongi to come so he could push him up real high like they always did. But two other boys wanted the swingset to themselves and although Jimin told them he didn’t mind sharing, they still pushed him off the swing and onto the ground. Now Jimin was not a scaredy cat, his mom taught him to be a tough boy. But Jimin was also sensitive and hated getting hurt, so as he stared at the scabs on his hands that burned very bad, Jimin couldn’t help himself and started crying.

 “Yah!” A voice cried out and Jimin knew it was Yoongi immediately. Jimin looked up and watched as Yoongi walked up to the bullies and pushed one of them “don’t hurt Jiminie” cried out and Jimin thought Yoongi looked really cool right then. But Yoongi was also skinny and short, so even though he pushed the first bully, the second one pushed back and he was much bigger and when the fight broke out minutes later and their parents broke them up, yoongi’s face was red and his forehead was swollen.

 “Min Yoongi, I taught you better than that” Yoongi’s mother chided sternly. Yoongi hung his head and kept quiet, but Jimin could see his lips wobble and his face scrunch up, trying not to cry. Jimin’s own mother was at his side looking at the his hands. But Jimin pulled away and turned towards Yoongi and his mother

 “H-he was helping me Mrs. Min” Jimin said timidly, his voice wobbly like he was about to cry again but Jimin would not. He didn’t want Yoongi to get in trouble. “The b-boys were being bullies and pushed me off the swings, look” he showed her his scabbed hands and knees “Please don’t ground him”

Mrs. Min looked at Jimin then back to Yoongi “It’s good that you tried to help your friend, Yoongi.” His mom gently said “But violence is wrong. So” she glanced at Jimin and smiled “Since your motives were good and if you promise me not to do it again, I won’t ground you.” Yoongi glanced up at her nodding furiously “No Tv for a week though. Now say goodbye to Jimin we have to go home.”

Jimin stood up immediately and ran to Yoongi, throwing his arms around his best friend. “Thank you Yoonie” he said “I’m sorry you got in trouble because of me.”

“I’d do it again if it’s for you, minnie” Yoongi said pulling away and looking at trying to look serious even though his eyes were still wet with tears. “All the movies and books say you have to protect the people you love.”

“You love me?” Jimin whispered in awe and Yoongi nodded and ran the sleeve of his shirt under his nose, sniffing.

“Of course I do, you dummy. You’re my best friend.”

“Even if it gets you grounded?” Jimin asked hesitantly. Getting grounded was the worst, he couldn’t do anything fun and he couldn’t even play with Yoongi.

“Even if I get grounded. Even if...if” Yoongi gesture wildly “If aliens fly from the sky and attack me.” Jimin giggled, feeling better at Yoongi’s silliness. He leaned close and gave Yoongi a big kiss on the cheek. 

“I love Yoongi, too!”

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Min Yoongi told Park Jimin he loved him and they were sixteen and fourteen. They were at Yoongi’s house playing video games when Jimin just randomly blurted out “I’m gay”. It had been something he had wanted to confess for a while and Jimin had thought of a million ways to come out to his best friend but he never had the guts to.

Yoongi glanced at him in surprise, took note of Jimin’s hands on the controller shaking and his eyes never leaving the tv screen.

“Okay” Yoongi replied casually “Cool. I’m Bi” Jimin’s head snapped to Yoongi and almost said something stupid like why didn’t you tell me? But realised that would be hypocritical of him.

“So you don’t have a problem with me...being like this?”

Yoongi turned to look at him softly “Jiminnie” he said and how did his name sound so heartfelt coming from Yoongi “Of course I don’t, you idiot. You can be whatever the fuck you want and I would still love you, brat.” He turned back to the screen, his ears turning red “Now get back to the game so I can beat you”

Jimin smiled softly before turning around back to the game and thinking, he was really lucky he had Min Yoongi.

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Min Yoongi told Jimin he loved him and Jimin didn’t want to hear it. Yoongi was eighteen, his senior year, and Jimin was sixteen. They were fighting, not uncommon between them. They often bickered on several things but they rarely had huge fights, which was what was happening then. They had just come back from a party Jimin was invited to, a party where yoongi had just showed up even though he hates parties. Jimin knew it was because his mom had called Yoongi, she never liked Jimin going out without him. So as soon as he stepped into his room he turned on Yoongi angrily.

“You have no right to just show up at a party just to babysit me” He fumed at Yoongi “This is ridiculous. I’m not a kid, I don’t need a babysitter. You hate most of the people there and yet you still go just to keep your eye on me’”

“Did it ever cross your mind that I might want to go there because I want to spend time with you?” Yoongi snapped back “But you didn’t even say anything Jimin, you didn’t tell me where you were going. You said you were heading straight home. You lied to me!”

“Because you always do this!” Jimin threw his hands up “You always come along with me even though you hate it! You’re absolutely miserable at these things and you still come everytime! Why? We see each other everyday, Yoongi! We both know it’s not because of that. It’s because you have always seen me as a little brother you feel the need to take care of, and that’s fine usually but its going too far” and that had been the core of the problem, Jimin knew. Ever since they were young Yoongi was always protective of him, always took care of him, and that was fine when they were kids, but Jimin wasn't a kid anymore. He wanted to be independent of his best friend

“I didn’t go there because I think you can’t take care of yourself! I went to see why my best friend felt the need to lie to me” Yoongi pulled back looking angry and hurt and that was unfair because Jimin wouldn’t have lied if Yoongi had gotten the message “If you didn’t want me there you could’ve just said it”

“ I don’t want you there” Jimin yelled, blurting it out angrily and throwing his hands in the air “there, I said it. I don’t want you going and being protective because I’m not a child and I don’t understand why you’re like this because-”

“Because I love you” Yoongi yelled back, voice raised to match Jimin’s “Are you happy now? I love you Park Jimin. I do not see you as a little brother fuck” he ran a hand through his hair “it would be so much easier if I did. But no I’m fucking in love with you and I take every chance I get to be with you. Even it means going to stupid parties just because you enjoy them.”

Jimin is silent, staring at Yoongi with wide eyes. He had expected many things to be said during the fight but not this. Not a confession from his best friend. Jimin had been confessed to before, and he had no problem politely declining but this was Yoongi. This changed everything.

“I..” Jimin floundered for a bit on what to say “Yoongi I” he swallowed and slumped, staring at his best friend sadly “I’m sorry”

Yoongi seemed to deflate, as though he had been somehow hoping for a better answer “Yeah, I know.” he shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. And it would have worked with anyone who didn’t know him like Jimin did. “I didn’t tell you because I expected anything. Just” he took a deep breath “Just don’t lie to me again, Minnie okay? Just..” Yoongi took a deep breath, shoving his hand into his pockets “Tell me the truth next time.” A sigh “I have to go, I’ll see you later” All Jimin could do was stare at Yoongi as he left.

All this time, Jimin had thought Yoongi was seeing him as a kid. Thinking he couldn't take care of himself when in reality it was just the complete opposite.

Just tell me the truth next time

I don’t want you there

God Jimin was...he was an asshole. He needed to talk to Yoongi, but he didn’t know what to say I’m sorry I don’t like you back felt ridiculous. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the thought that Yoongi liked him. Loved him, is what he said. Jimin didn’t know what he felt about Yoongi but he was sure he didn’t see him that way. But even if he didn’t, he couldn’t lose Yoongi, not his best friend. Jimin had to fix this.

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Min Yoongi didn’t tell him he loved him for a long time after that. At first Jimin had thought their friendship was over. But surprisingly, after a few brief awkward days, Yoongi had went back to normal with him, the only thing that had changed was that Yoongi had backed off. He stopped going to parties he hated and his protectiveness lessened a little, just so Jimin would be comfortable.

And now, three years later, their friendship was back on track and they were closer than ever. Yoongi had moved on from his crush, had been in a few relationships as well. When Jimin first dated a couple months after the confession he was scared of hurting Yoongi but apparently Yoongi was perfectly fine. Jimin was relieved.

He was in his second year of college now, a dance major with great friends and a boyfriend. Everything was perfect, except it also wasn’t. Jimin had been with his boyfriend for almost two years now, but for the past few months things had been bad. Jimin could handle criticism, he was a dancer he had to have tough skin and learn to use the comments to make himself better. But somehow, all comments his boyfriend, Jinho, made only brought him down. And it wasn’t just dance that Jimin was being criticized on, it was everything. Jinho commented on how he looked, what he wore, how he acted, his friends. There was nothing Jimin could do to please him and it was taking a huge toll on his confidence.

“You have to dump him, Chim” Taehyung, his friend since his first day of college, said as they sat in the coffee shop together. Jimin had told him the latest fight he had with Jinho, about Jimin practicing late for the past few days because he wanted to nail the showcase and get into this dance studio he really wanted.

I’m just being realistic, I don’t want you to be disappointed. We both know you’re not skilled enough to get in. So why set yourself up for failure?

Jimin remembered the words clearly, remembered how they felt, how they highlighted just what Jimin was insecure about. Jimin had left saying they could talk about it later, but he just felt so destroyed.

“At first, I thought he just meant well and was worried but” Jimin murmured, wrapping his hands around his coffee for warmth “Now it's just him putting me down everyday and I’m…” he lowered his head as his eyes watered “I’m so tired, tae”

“Jimin this isn’t healthy” Taehyung told him, something he has been saying for a while and Jimin had idiotically ignored him. “He’s an emotionally abusive asshole. He wants to make you so insecure that you never leave him. He’s controlling your life, Chim.”

“I-I know” Jimin admitted, finally giving in and letting a few tears escape “I just, i recently looked around and noticed just how long I haven’t seen you guys and” Jimin sighed “Even Yoongi hyung, I’ve been so horrible to him. I haven’t seen him the longest. He must be so mad at me”

“Yoongi hyung understands, Chim. He's not mad, he's just worried” but Jimin found that hard to believe. He was scared of so many things: not being good enough, losing everyone, spending the rest of his life alone. Everything was overwhelming and as Jimin went home, he was too scared to have the talk he promised Jinho, too much of a coward to try and break up with him. So he slept and didn’t call his boyfriend. He promised himself he would visit him the next day, but lost his guts. So he stayed that way for a week

Then two weeks. And a month.

Which was how he came to find himself in front of Yoongi’s door at 2 am in the morning, fiddling with his phone wondering if he should bother him, if he had the right to seek his comfort after barely seeing him because of Jinho.

Jiminie: you awake?

Jimin sent the message before he could chicken out and waited, knowing Yoongi was probably asleep or in the studio. He shouldn’t have come at all, he’s so selfish..

Yoongi Hyung ♥ : Yeah

Yoongi Hyung ♥ : What’s wrong?

Jimin could cry at how relieved and guilty he felt at that moment. Yoongi was always there for him, no matter what.

Jiminie: I’m outside

As soon as the read notification showed on Jimin’s last message, he heard the thudding of feet from inside the apartment. A few moments later the door to Yoongi’s apartment opened and there stood Yoongi, looking like he had just rolled out of bed. Was he actually sleeping? Did Jimin wake him up? The guilt simmered even more under the younger’s skin.

“Jiminie?” Yoongi looked worried, staring at Jimin up and down. And for some reason Jimin couldn’t speak, his bottom lip wobbled and at that Yoongi’s eyes softened and he opened his door further, an unspoken invitation.

The inside of Yoongi’s apartment looked pretty much the same as the last time Jimin had seen it which, Jimin thought shamefully, had been a while ago. But as he walked into the living room he felt at home like he always did.

As Jimin sat down on the couch, Yoongi sat beside him, not touching but still close. He didn’t say anything, barely even looked at Jimin. He was giving him time to speak, because he knew how to handle Jimin when he was upset, he always had.

“I’m sorry” Jimin blurted out, his eyes filling with tears, face forming a grimace “I’m so sorry, hyung” and the dam broke. Jimin sobbed, elbows on knees and hands covering his eyes. He felt the couch shift and seconds later Yoongi’s arm was around his shoulders, whispering words of comfort. Telling him he wasn’t mad, that it was going to be okay.

They stayed like that for a while, until Jimin’s tears dried and his head was on Yoongi’s shoulder, his legs tucked up beside him, Yoongi’s hand playing with his hair.

“I almost dropped out of the showcase” Jimin admitted hoarsely, willing his eyes not to tear up again. “He kept...he kept telling me how I wasn’t ready, that I was just going to embarrass myself because I...because I wasn’t good enough and I” his breathing hitched “I believed him, hyung. I was so close... so close to dropping out, to missing out on my chance to get into the dance studio I want, because I believed him.”

Yoongi said nothing, but the slight tenseness in his shoulders showed he was not as relaxed as he appeared.

“It’s been like this for so long” Jimin blurted “Nothing I do is good enough, I never look good enough. He made me hate myself, hyung. He-he ke-kept saying I should spend more time wu-with him and got mad when I got out and I-I listened and he kept me away from my friends” Jimin buried his face into Yoongi’s shoulder, his tears wetting the older’s T-shirt “From you, hyung I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, don’t be sorry” Yoongi finally spoke, placing a hand on the side of Jimin’s jaw and making him meet his eyes “ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t see how emotionally abusive he was and let this happen. I thought...I thought I was giving you space to discover your relationship and...fuck. I should’ve known.” his eyes closed and Jimin stared at his lashes as they fluttered and then opened again, anger and sadness in his best friend’s eyes. “What do you want to do, Jimin? Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“I broke up with him” Jimin replied “T-that’s why I came. After I almost dropped from the showcase I” Jimin gulped “I went to his place to confront him and I...I got so upset. He kept saying he was doing what was best for me, because he knew me, accepted me with all my faults and I snapped.” Jimin huffed “We had a huge fight, I told him it was over and stormed out.” he sniffted “even forgot my duffle bag for practice.”

“Don’t worry about that”

“Hyung” Jimin said in a small voice “hyung he fucked me over so bad” tears began falling from his eyes again “I can’t even look in the mirror without...without seeing all the bad” Jimin sobbed, finally letting everything out “I can’t even dance without thinking of how much work I need. How I’m not good enough.” His face was back in Yoongi’s shoulder, snot and tears ruining the man’s shirt “Hyung” he called out brokenly “what do I do?”

“We work on it together, Minnie” Yoongi said, voice sad “It’ll get better. I promise you, you will get better. It’ll take time but you can do it. I’m here to help you, minnie. All of your friends are”

“But why?” Jimin croaked “I’ve been so horrible, hyung. I’ve barely spoken to anyone, especially you” he hiccuped, rubbing at his eyes “I’ve barely seen you and you’re my best friend. Why would you go through all this trouble for me?”

Yoongi was silent for a while before he solemnly replied “You know why” Jimin quieted down at that, raising his head again and looking at Yoongi, expecting him not to meet his eyes but being wrong as Yoongi looked at Jimin so fondly, so warmly that Jimin’s face scrunched up as he nodded, feeling so good and so and at the same time

“I know” Jimin blurted and went back to crying. It took him a while to calm down, but when he did, Yoongi stood him up and led him to the bathroom to shower. When Jimin came out, there were a pair of Jimin’s pajamas on the counter and food in the kitchen. Yoongi took care of him right up until Jimin couldn’t keep his eyes open, even though the sky was lighter. Yoongi led him to his bed and climbed in after him, holding him from behind and offering silent comfort as he fell asleep.

In the morning, Jimin woke up and walked out of the kitchen, only to see his duffle bag by the entrance. He didn’t comment on it as he walked in to find Yoongi making breakfast. The older  had missed his classes, Jimin noticed from a glance to the clock on the wall. Yoongi had skipped his classes, went to Jinho’s place and gotten Jimin’s bag and was now making him breakfast, was taking care of him. Even after everything jimin had done.

You know why

Yoongi’s words from last night came back and Jimin almost started crying again, the guilt settling, a heavy weight on his chest. Jimin had been such an idiot. He felt so bad that his hyung still had feelings for him, that he had to watch Jimin distance himself to spend time with his new boyfriend.

Why couldn’t I just fall in love with you? Jimin thought as Yoongi handed him a plate of food, with a smile. It was a horribly selfish thought. Jimin felt so disgusted by himself. He didn’t deserve Yoongi, but he couldn’t let his best friend go. He promised himself that day that he would do his best to make it up to Yoongi.

The next time Jimin saw Jinho a few days later, the latter was sporting a large, dark bruise on his eye, and when he saw Jimin He turned around and went the other way.

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Yoongi, Jimin noticed, had been telling Jimin he loved him everyday, without Jimin even realising because he was too lost in his own world. After breaking up with Jinho, Jimin began noticing just how much Yoongi gave and gave and how little Jimin actually gave back.

For one, Yoongi was a really busy person. He had to juggle between a music major and a paying internship on the side along with his side work music with Namjoon and Hoseok, but even with all of that; Yoongi always made time for Jimin. For helping Jimin with whatever he needed, even if it was just having someone with him because he was bored.

Second, Yoongi’s place was always open for Jimin. Having a key to Yoongi’s apartment was a normal thing for Jimin, Yoongi had given it to him when he first moved in. But Yoongi was actually a very private person, and all of their friends knew that but Jimin had always chalked it up to childhood best friend privileges.

And third, Yoongi was one of the most caring people Jimin had ever met. He was so caring in the smallest ways; helping jeongguk search for an affordable camera so he could work on his photography hobby, finding the book Namjoon had been searching for, sitting with taehyung for hours as a silent support when the younger got into one of his contemplative moods and couldn’t be talked to, nagging at seokjin’s bad puns but googling more to make the older laugh, going to every single one of Jimin’s and Hoseok’s dance shows and being the first to meet them backstage, rolling his eyes at hoseok’s silliness but squaring up against anyone who said any remark about him being annoying or too loud. Yoongi was a good friend, and an ever better best friend to Jimin.

He was dependant on Yoongi, Jimin noticed. Yoongi had been so integrated in his life ever since he was young that Jimin hadn’t even realised how much his friend did for him. Yoongi had Jimin’s class schedules memorized and never failed to remind him when he was late to one. Yoongi listened to every single thing Jimin tells him and remembers miniscule details of things Jimin doesn’t even remember telling him. Yoongi was Jimin’s biggest fan, always the first to cheer to any accomplishment Jimin made, always the first to say that’s my jiminie. Yoongi gave Jimin cuddles when he was sad and brought him food when he was too busy studying, called his mother when Jimin forgot to and gave her updates about their lives.

The only thing Jimin gave Yoongi was support. Yoongi had always had Bad Days, ever since they got in highschool and Jimin flourished and socialised and Yoongi drew back into himself. The Bad Days were days were Yoongi barely took care of himself, where he fell so far into depression and self-pity that it took a while to pull him back. On those days, Jimin was the only person allowed near him.

Jimin would let himself into Yoongi’s apartment and clean up the mess, do the dishes, fold the laundry, and then go find Yoongi in his room, curled up in is bed and awake or asleep, mostly awake. Jimin would climb into Yoongi’s bed and curl up behind him, fold his hands on Yoongi’s stomach and sleep or stay awake, maybe hum a random soothing tune. Most times Yoongi barely acknowledges his presence, but eventually after a an hour or a day or whenever, Yoongi would look at Jimin, the blank look in his eyes fading just a little, and slowly he would relax more and more until it would pass.

So yes, Yoongi had been telling Jimin he loved him for a long time, and it took Jimin breaking up with Jinho and months of Yoongi’s support and help for him to start loving himself again, but also for him to realise, that maybe it wasn’t just Yoongi in love with Jimin.

It took Yoongi casually mentioning a date with a girl and then coming back all smiles and blushes and she’s so great Jiminie for Jimin to hate himself for being too late to realise that maybe he loved Min Yoongi too.

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Min Yoongi still showed Jimin he loved him, in all the little ways. But Yoongi also loved Suran. The problem was, Jimin thought, that Suran-noona was actually really nice. She understood Yoongi, got along with his friends, had fun with them. She was good for him, probably better than Jimin could ever be, and that’s probably why it hurt so much.

Jimin never thought that the day Yoongi came back from that first date so happy, that it would lead to this. Yoongi had always gone on dates, or gotten into short relationships, but this was different. He didn’t expect this, he didn’t expect them to still be together three years later. For them to share an apartment together. By now, Yoongi and Jimin had graduated, Yoongi was hired by an entertainment company as a producer, doing well and producing music for idol groups, and Jimin was running a dance studio with hoseok, helping choreograph music for some famous people as well.

His feelings for Yoongi hadn’t changed, if anything they had grown and Jimin felt bad. If this was how Yoongi had felt throughout all those years he liked Jimin, then Jimin was an asshole. He wished he had realised his feelings earlier, before Yoongi had moved on. But it was too late now and Jimin had to accept that.

Because Min Yoongi was getting married

It came out of the blue, but Yoongi had apparently proposed to Suran, and she had said yes. So Jimin smiled at Yoongi, agreed to be his best man, went home and cried. After that though, he pulled himself together and helped his best friend plan is wedding.

ah , this is so tiring Jiminie

Why does picking a suit have to be complicated. I’ll just pick any one, but noona insists you come with me because you know better

I couldn’t do this without you, Jiminie

And now here he was, sitting among the guests and looking at a handsome Yoongi in his suit, waiting for Suran to walk in. And when she does, Yoongi grins, a gummy smile that causes a pang in Jimin’s heart because that could have been him.

I’m nervous, Jiminie

Don’t be hyung

Yoongi had relied on him throughout the entire process and Jimin was proud of that. Proud that, despite his heart breaking, he could be the best friend Yoongi deserved.

Hoseok, sitting next to Jimin was practically vibrating in his seat of excitement. All of their friends were excited for Yoongi, and Jimin forced himself to be happy for him. Even as his heart leapt to his throat when the priest asked if there were any who object to the marriage.

When the ‘I dos’ come up, Yoongi had immediately said his part, grinning and almost driving Jimin to tears. But when it became Suran’s turn she kept quiet.

Silence rang in the hall.

“I-” Suran stuttered, looking wide-eyed and afraid, glancing at Yoongi, then at everyone behind her.

Yoongi’s frowned, he reached for her and she flinched and Jimin stared disbelieving as she shook her head. “what's wrong?” Yoongi asks

“I can’t” Suran says , turning to Yoongi and no, no she couldn’t do this to him. Not to Yoongi “I’m so sorry” she turned and walked back up the aisle, disappearing and leaving silence in her wake.

In movies, Jimin reflected then, this is romantic; this is the bride leaving to find her true love, accepting the struggle with herself and realising she does not want this. In the movies, you breathe a sigh of relief. But in the movies, you don't see the one left behind.

Jimin didn’t watch her go, he watched Yoongi. He watched as his best friend’s face fall, looking crestfallen and hurt before managing to school it to blank resignation

They acted immediately

Jimin and Namjoon were the first ones up, Jimin walking towards Yoongi while Namjoon addressed the crowd. The others seemed to get over their shock and stand up as well, helping in anyway they can. Yoongi remained quiet, only giving a nod of his head when Jimin told him they would handle everything, and then quietly leaving through the back door, shaking his head at Jimin when the younger tried to follow.

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“I’m going to kill her” Taehyung said, sitting on the couch in Yoongi and Suran’s apartment with everyone else. Jimin had let them in after they had searched everywhere for Yoongi and then decided to wait for him at his house. “How could she do this to him?”

“I understand changing your mind” Namjoon said stonily from beside him “that happens. But not seconds before getting married. You don’t do that to a person” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. Namjoon had handled mostly everything after Yoongi had left, immediately taking charge and getting everything dealt with.

“Do you think hyung is okay?” Jeongguk asked, sitting on the floor with his tie undone and his suit jacket laying on the ground beside him. “He looked…”

Heartbroken, Jimin thought as he sat, but said nothing. He didn’t want to say anything because he wasn’t just mad, he was in rage. It was a good thing Suran had left because if Jimin saw her he had a few choice words he would tell her and none of them were nice.

How dare she? How dare she?! How could she do this to Yoongi of all people. How could she hurt him like this? After Jimin had resigned himself to Yoongi never being with him because he had someone who deserved him more, how could she treat him that way? And now Yoongi was nowhere to be found and Jimin...

He just wanted to make sure Yoongi was okay.

So when the door opened and Yoongi stumbled in, Jimin was the first one up. Yoongi looked up at them as he tried to stand straight and snorted “why’re yoouall here?” he slurred as Jimin held him up “recption is cncelled”

Seokjin sighed “I had a feeling this was going to happen” he helped Jimin sit Yoongi down on the, now vacated, couch before turning to the others “There’s no use all of us being here, I’ll stay with him for the night and take care of him”

“I’ll stay” Jimin said from beside Yoongi, standing up “I’ve been with him when he’s like this. I’ll stay and keep you guys updated.”

Seokjin looked ready to argue, he and Yoongi were close and it was no secret Seokjin felt a little responsible for every one of them as the eldest, but Jimin was Yoongi’s best friend and was used to this and Seokjin knew that. At the elder’s nod Jimin felt relieved, there was no way he could’ve left Yoongi.

“‘M fine” Yoongi mumbled from the couch “leav me t’fuck allone” Everyone looked reluctant to leave but eventually they started trickling out. When the door closed Jimin turned to Yoongi with a sigh

“Come on, hyung” Jimin said “Let’s get you changed and into bed, okay?”

“‘M fine Jiminie” Yoongi mumbled as Jimin hauled him up and helped him walk into his room. He sat him down on his bed and made work on taking off his suit. Yoongi mumbled and grumbled throughout the entire ordeal but didn’t struggle as Jimin dressed him in Pajamas and put him in bed.

Jimin went to the kitchen, filled a glass of water and went back to the room, finding Yoongi lying in bed and nearly asleep. He gently coaxed him into sitting up and drinking the water before laying him back down and climbing in after him, like the elder always did when he was the one doing the comforting.

“I’m so sorry, hyung” Jimin mumbled into Yoongi’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s waist “you deserve so much more”

“‘expected it” Yoongi replied, halfway asleep. Jimin frowned at the words, feeling his heart break all over again for his hyung.

Even though Jimin knew Yoongi probably didn’t know what he was saying and probably wouldn’t even remember this “You’re amazing and loveable and noona is an idiot for not wanting to be with you” he finally stated, knowing just how much self-hate Yoongi was feeling

Yoongi didn’t reply immediately, he just hummed and nuzzled his pillow before replying and sending a fresh stab of pain in Jimin’s heart

“You didn’t want to either”

Jimin didn’t sleep easily that night

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The next morning Jimin woke up and turned to Yoongi, finding the older still asleep. He slowly stood up, carefully untangling himself from his hyung and going to the kitchen. He was about to busy himself with breakfast when there was a knock on the door. Jimin had expected some of the guys to come but not this early. He wiped his hands and went to the door, opening it without checking who it was. He should’ve seen it coming, should’ve known it would be Suran Noona.

“What are you doing here?” Jimin asked coldly “You’re not welcome here” even though it was her apartment as well as Yoongi’s but now was not the time for her to decide to come and pack.

“I want to talk to Yoongi” Suran said in a low voice, not used to Jimin being so cold. “Is he here?”

“You don’t decide when you talk to him” Jimin replied “He does. If he wants to talk to you he’ll contact you.”

“I just want to apologize” she says looking up at him. She did look apologetic and guilty but it barely moved Jimin. He had to watch his hyung get heartbroken, he had no sympathy for her.

Jimin was about to reject her again, or maybe close the door in her face when there was a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Yoongi, looking like he just got out of bed and staring at Suran. 

“Come in, Noona” Yoongi said, voice hoarse from sleeping. Suran hesitantly came in and Jimin frowned but remained silent, knowing it wasn’t his place to speak. As they walked into the living room, Jimin knew he had to leave them alone for a bit. He debated on ignoring social conduct and planting himself right beside his best friend and spend the whole time glaring at Suran, but knew Yoongi wouldn’t appreciate it. He begrudgingly mumbled that he was going to go out and get coffee, knowing he did the right thing at Yoongi’s thankful smile, and left them alone.

Jimin sat in a coffee shop near the apartment, sipping on his latte and texting the guys, updating them on what’s been happening, and spending at least 5 minutes convincing Taehyung not to come over to ‘give Suran Noona a piece of his mind.’ When half an hour passed, Jimin got up and ordered a black coffee for Yoongi to go. He contemplated getting one for Suran as well, just in case she was still there. But decided to ignore the polite part of him because screw her, she didn’t deserve good coffee.

When Jimin got to the house, he walked in and saw Yoongi sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees. He walked inside, smiling and holding up the cup of coffee when Yoongi looked up at him. His hyung smiled sadly and took the coffee from him. He held the cup with both hands as he took a sip and Jimin sat next to him.

“Did she leave?” the question came out and Yoongi shook his head, taking a gulp of his coffee. Jimin felt bad that his hyung had to deal with such a serious conversation without his morning coffee. Usually he needed coffee before even trying to function normally.

“She’s in the bedroom, packing her stuff. I’ll mail the rest to her old apartment” Yoongi answered leaning back on the couch “We talked things over, it’s fine”

Jimin hummed, trying to avoid saying anything harmful about her. They sat in silence for a while before they heard the door to the bedroom open and looked to see suran walking out, carrying a suitcase. She smiled politely at them, looking uncomfortable. Yoongi stood up and walked her to the door, giving her a small smile as she left.

Yoongi shut the door and walked back to the couch, grabbing his cup of coffee again and laying back. He sighed, laying his head back on the edge of the couch and shutting his eyes, looking as tired and sad as he was pretending not to be. “You realise you have to help me send back all the wedding gifts now right?” the elder blurted, opening his eyes and turning his head to face Jimin.

“You’re better off” Jimin stated “I had a look at them earlier, your aunt sent you a fertility statue”

Yoongi snorted and then fell into laughter and Jimin grinned at him, chuckling along with him. Loving the fact that he managed to do that, that he could make his best friend laugh. All the while thinking how stupid anyone would be not to love Min Yoongi.

--------------------------------

“Why did i have to be such an idiot as a teenager?” Jimin whined, slamming his head on the counter in Taehyung’s kitchen as the latter ate a bowl of cereal. Taehyung moved his bowl away as the milk sloshed at the movement.

“I wouldn’t put all the blame on teenage Jimin. Adult Jimin took a while to figure it out too” his friend answered around a mouthful of fruit loops. Jimin raised his head and glared at his friend who only shrugged and swallowed “So it took you years to figure out you were in love with him, that’s fine. Tell him now”

“After rejecting him and ignoring his feelings for years?” Jimin asked “how could I do that, tae? It just seems so selfish.” he shook his head, looking crestfallen “I don’t even know if he still feels the same.”

“He does” Taehyung stated “it’s always been plainly obvious how much Yoongi hyung is in love with you.”

“He almost got married last year” Jimin reminded him with a raised brow “He was clearly over his feelings for me”

“And now he’s clearly over his feelings for Suran Noona” Taehyung said, taking another spoonful of fruit loops “Just go for it. I asked Kookie out the day I met him without second guessing.”

“That’s because when Jungkook first saw you his first words were ‘Holy shit, you’re pretty,’. There wasn’t anything to second guess.”

“That too” Taehyung said with a fond smile that was disgustingly sweet. “Look, all I’m saying is that now you’re both in a place where you’re single and mature. Don’t let this chance pass up, you wanna go through hyung being in love with someone else again?”

“No” Jimin pouted, remembering just how shitty he felt the entire duration of Yoongi’s relationship with Suran. “You’re right. I’m going to tell him. I’m seeing him today for lunch, I’ll tell him then.”

And he had meant it, he wanted to tell Yoongi. He wanted to finally be able to tell Yoongi he loved him. Except Yoongi cancelled him for lunch, and then for the one after that, and then for movie night at Jimin’s place.

“Sorry Jiminie. The debut album needs to drop in a month and we’re behind.” Yoongi sighed through the phone when Jimin called him. He sounded stressed and tired, and jimin knew Yoongi enough to know that his best friend probably wasn’t sleeping or eating well. Which was why Jimin was on his way with takeout to Yoongi’s studio.

Jimin entered the empty building, and walked up to Yoongi’s studio, keying in the code Yoongi had given him. It beeped when it opened and Jimin walked in and immediately saw Yoongi in his chair with his headphones on, his eyebrows furrowed and his head slightly nodding to the beat as he worked on a track. Yoongi always had a slight pout when he was concentrating on his work and it had always endeared Jimin.

He walked up to his hyung and placed the bag of takeout on the table next to him. The movement caused Yoongi to look over at him. He blinked in surprise and slowly turned the chair around, removing his headphones in the process.

“You’re a lifesaver” the elder said with a sigh as he put his headphones on the table and moved closer to the food “Didn’t realise how hungry I was till I smelled the food”

“You can thank me by making up for all the times you’ve ditched me this past week” Jimin retorted, going to sit by Yoongi’s computer. He shook his head at the mess in front of him, but didn’t make a move to remove anything. Yoongi’s desk might be a mess but he knew where everything was and moving them would annoy him. Jimin had learned that from years of watching Yoongi go through stressful situations like this.

“After this, you get me for a day. We’ll do whatever you want” Yoongi shrugged, shoveling his noodles into his mouth. Jimin smiled, because Yoongi also learned how to make up for investing in work throughout those years. It became a habit for them to spend a full day together after one of Yoongi’s binge working weeks.

Jimin shook the mouse to wake the computer up and saw the program Yoongi was working on up. He knew how to work it a bit, it was hard not to when you’re best friend was Min Yoongi. So he just hovered his finger over the spacebar and quirked a brow at Yoongi, silently asking for permission to hear the song his hyung was working on. Yoongi nodded and Jimin pressed play.

He listened to the track as it played and smiled at how good it was. Yoongi had obviously worked hard on it and it was catchy and nice with powerful lyrics.

“It’s perfect for a debut album” Jimin said “That’s their main title?”

“Nah” Yoongi said, leaning back in his chair and pulling the container and his chopsticks with him. “Go to the desktop there’s a file with the band’s name. First track is the main title”

Jimin did as he was told, he paused to song and minimized the tab, thinking of how Yoong’s trust in him amazed him. No one was allowed to touch Yoong’s computer, much less mess around with it.

Jimin saw the folder Yoongi had told him about, but he also saw another folder, at the bottom of the screen. It captured his attention because, unlike the rest of his hyung’s files, this wasn’t clearly named. It was just a bunch of random letters, like the keyboard smash people do when they don’t know what to say. Out of curiosity, Jimin clicked the folder and it opened to show a total of six tracks named by number instead of name. Also odd; Yoongi tended to be very organized and very clear when it came to his work. So naturally, because Jimin was a very very nosy person, he clicked the first track.

When the melody started to play, Yoongi immediately froze. He turned to Jimin fast, his eyes wide and panicked. Stiffly but hastily, he stood up and walked over to Jimin, pausing the song.

“What’s that?” Jimin asked, not used to Yoongi hiding anything from him. “I’ve never heard that before. Is it new?”

“It’s nothing” Yoongi shrugged “Just some things I was working on for myself. They’re not ready yet”

“But it sounded good, the melody was so nice hyung” Jimin said answered, seeing how weird Yoongi was acting but not backing away. “Come on, just one song”

“No”

“Hyung”

“I said no” Yoongi snapped and Jimin flinched from the suddenness of it. Yoongi rarely, if ever snapped at him. He was the kind of person who looked tough but was actually soft and his anger was usually soft but truthful words. Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes and looking at Jimin “Not now, Jimin”

“Okay” Jimin answered, he stood up and walked to the food, finally picking up his share and starting to eat. Yoongi stared at him for a few seconds before rejoining him. It was awkward for a few minutes, but then Yoongi broke the ice and asked Jimin about his upcoming solo, and the atmosphere went back to relaxed.

Shortly after they finished eating, yoongi resumed his work and Jimin lied down on the couch scrolling through his phone before falling asleep.

It was a few hours before Jimin woke up, feeling warm and cozy. He glanced to where Yoongi was and saw the elder asleep on the desk. He smiled, forcing himself to sit up and shake the blurriness out. He yawned as he stood up and walked towards Yoongi, the elder looking soft in the dimmed lights-Yoongi must have dimmed them after Jimin fell asleep.

Jimin was about to turn off his hyung’s computer and wake him up so that they could leave, but suddenly remembered the song. He froze, turning his head towards the screen, it was dimmed from lack of use but flashed back to life when Jimin shook the mouse. Jimin bit his lip and glanced at his hyung. Seeing the elder was still asleep, he sat on the chair next to his hyung, grabbed his headphones from beside him and put them on his ears, finding the file again and pressing the same track.

At first it was the same melody Jimin heard the first time, soft, with piano in the background and a nostalgic feeling to it. Then the lyrics started and Jimin immediately recognised Yoongi’s voice, rapping and even singing on some parts. But that wasn’t the shocking part.

The shocking part was the lyrics

How do I love you like this?

I torture myself and yet ask the same question again.

Jimin was frozen as he listened to his hyung wrapping and could feel how sincere he was in his words.

How am i supposed to forget you?

When I’m looking for you, in the eyes of every stranger

Jimin glanced to the side at Yoongi but instead of finding the elder asleep, he saw him staring up at Jimin.

Your existence in my life

It’s the poison and the cure

As the song drew to an end, Jimin took off the headphones. Yoongi couldn’t hear what Jimin was listening to, but he could see it on the screen and it was obvious from Jimin’s expression.

“Hyung” Jimin said, trying to find the words to say. The song was heartbreaking, and Jimin felt choked up just hearing it.

“I know” Yoongi said, raising his head and looking at Jimin “You don’t have to say anything. There’s no use denying its about you, when it's so obvious. And I know you don’t feel the same way, and I’m good with it Jimine, I’ve made my peace. This is just an outlet.”

Your existence in my life

It’s the poison and the cure

Jimin remembered those lines from the song and wanted to cry. He had been so selfish, had put Yoongi through so much.

“I love you” Jimin blurted out, not knowing what else to say and knowing this was the only thing that should be said “I love you, Hyung”

Yoongi smiled sadly at him “No you don’t, Jimin-ah.”

“Yes I do” Jimin protested vehemently “Hyung I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I was just too much of an idiot to notice, and I noticed too late and you were getting married to Suran Noona and I thought you were over me” He spoke fast and rushed, needing Yoongi to understand, needing to explain everything that had been happening in Jimin’s head “I thought I could be okay with us being friends but Tae convinced me to confess and I was going to but then you got this deadline and I thought I would wait and-”

“Park Jimin” Yoongi interrupted him sternly. Jimin stopped speaking and stared at his hyung who was gazing sharply “Tell me you’re not lying”

Jimin shook his head “I’m not”

“Tell me you’re not saying this just because you feel bad”

Another shake of his head “i’m not”

“Fuck” Yoongi cursed and suddenly hands were framing his face before lips descended on his, pressing them against his and before Jimin could respond, pulling away looking ready to apologize. Jimin inhaled shakily and dragged the elder back, roughly chasing his lips and kissing him like he was starved, dragging himself as close as he could and tangling his hand in Yoongi’s hair. It was amazing, Jimin was sure he had never been kissed so good in his life. He only pulled away when breathing became necessary, he stared at Yoongi’s slick lips and heated cheeks and smiled, leaning back in for a softer kiss, their lips parting as it deepened.

“You better not be fucking with me, Park Jimin” Yoongi whispered as he pulled away “Not after so long”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize” jimin answered “But I’m here now and I love you. SO if you’ll have me-”

“Don’t be stupid” Yoongi interrupted softly “I love you”

Jimin smiled and leaned in for another kiss, happy that for once, he had said it first.