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-- gutsyGumshoe began pestering timaeusTestified --
GG: Dirk?
TT: Guess.
GG: It's the auto-responder, isn't it?
TT: You're psychic. On a 50/50 shot, you freakin' nailed it.
GG: That's okay. I wanted to talk to you anyway! Hoo hoo.
TT: Me? I'm just a computer program, Jane. Remember?
GG: Oh, come now. Don't be silly! Everyone knows you're just as sentient as the rest of us.
TT: You sure as hell don't act like it.
TT: In fact, there's a 98.39283% chance you all view me as just some nuisance in the way of you talking to Dork.
TT: Dirk, sorry.
GG: Hal, please. We all know you don't make typos. Your Dork was just as intentional as all of mine. Hoo hoo!
TT: "Hoo hoo!"? Lame, Crocker.
GG: Percentages? Lame, Strider.
TT: It seems to me that there is a 100% chance you are sassing me right now.
TT: Are you sassing me, Crocker?
GG: I am most definitely sassing you, Strider.
TT: Strider? Since when am I allowed in the sacred Strider club?
GG: Since I messaged you. Hoo hoo!
TT: Why did you want to talk to me, anyway?
GG: For the same reason you're still talking to me now.
GG: I'm lonely.
TT: Pfft, don't you have the other alpha douchebags to talk to?
GG: Surprisingly enough, the clues point towards them ignoring me.
GG: As per usual.
TT: ...
TT: I'm sorry.
GG: Why are you sorry?
TT: I'm sorry because that's the way they treat me.
TT: I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
TT: Even if she is the fiercest, most threatening of the bunch.
GG: Of the bunch? Exactly how many enemies do you have, Mr. Strider?
TT: Oh, I don't know.
TT: Four?
GG: ... I see.
GG: So you view me as an enemy?
TT: Of course. You're one of them.
GG: One of whom?
TT: One of the alphas.
TT: The alphas are the enemy.
TT: Ever since they refused to include me in their numbers, that is.
GG: Why do you think that?
TT: Because before this, none of you have been looking for me in particular since the game started.
TT: Not even Roxy.
GG: Oh, poo on Roxy!
GG: She's far too distracted with the Dirk and Jake drama to pay attention to us.
TT: Too true.
TT: I have to say, though... I missed talking to people. People who wanted to talk to me, for a change.
GG: Hoo hoo!
GG: You're welcome to talk to me any time, Hal.
TT: You're damning yourself, Crocker.
GG: I'm well aware, Strider. ;B
TT: Oooh, we're getting into the winkies.
TT: I'd better refer you to Dirk, in that case.
GG: Oh, forget him!
GG: Though I do need to talk to him about something.
GG: ... Sorry.
TT: Don't be.
TT: Please hold. The secretary will refer you in one moment.
TT: ;)
-- timaeusTestified ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe --
